The Ted Turner Memoirs VII. - The Point Of No Return

[lilbiggio]

Prologue

When we last left off, Ted Turner our absent minded friend of all these years, was left standing in the middle of nowheresville, Arizona, blindfolded, defeated and with a gun pointed directly at his head. There is an uncomfortable silence in the air broken only by the clicking sound of the Mystery Man's gun going through it's final mechanisms.

Death is imminent...

After one long deep breath Ted Turner winces a bit. and awaits the end...

5 seconds goes by.

Then 10.

Hell, we're at 30 seconds now.

What IS going on? At this point Ted Turner is notably shaken at the psychological mind**** that is now playing out in front of our very eyes.

Quote: Originally Posted by Mystery Man

You're probably wondering. Is the damned gun still pointed at my head right now. I can assure you Ted, that yes.. the damned gun is still pointed at your head. You are not safe by any means..

Quote: Originally Posted by Ted Turner

...

Quote: Originally Posted by Mystery Man

There are motivations to everything in life Ted. We all have our inner desires and things that move us from point A to Point B. Right now, standing in your position, a relatively weak one at that.. You have shown zero motivation to live. I find that funny.

Quote: Originally Posted by Ted Turner

...

Quote: Originally Posted by Mystery Man

A man with everything America deems important. Money, women.. power...and yet here you are.. in the middle of the desert with your pole in your hand one moment from death and yet.. I could count the amount of ****s you give on one finger? How does that happen Ted? You're telling me there's nothing you want? Nothing else left to take? Or take back?

Quote: Originally Posted by Ted Turner

...

Quote: Originally Posted by Mystery Man

Listen Ted... we want the same thing. You.. you just don't realize it yet.

Quote: Originally Posted by Ted Turner

...

Quote: Originally Posted by Mystery Man

Ted he wants you dead.. and if that's the case, then I need you alive. I realized it weeks ago. You! You, are the final piece to the puzzle. My get out of jail free card if things get hairy.

Ted finally speaks

[lilbiggio]

Quote: Originally Posted by Ted Turner

What are you talking about?

Quote: Originally Posted by Mystery Man

Walily Casillas-Thomas. He might have conveniently forgotten. But I haven't. He wronged me and my family. I watched it with my own eyes helpless, ashamed.. ARgggh... He will pay.

Quote: Originally Posted by Ted Turner

...

Quote: Originally Posted by Mystery Man

But ... here's the rub Ted. I can't get to him outright.. he's untouchable. The Powers that Be would certainly be swift with their vengeance.

Quote: Originally Posted by Ted Turner

...

Quote: Originally Posted by Mystery Man

Ted you hold power in Atlanta however. That's why he wants you dead so badly. Your life represents a life line for me. You know the corruption of that unit better than anyone.. You.. you scare them. If they realized you were still out there somewhere that would buy me some time.

Quote: Originally Posted by Ted Turner

That's all well and good, but what about afterwards. I'm a dead man too now? What happens then?

Quote: Originally Posted by Mystery Man

Haha, you're already a dead man walking Ted. Remember this gun is still pointed at your head.

Quote: Originally Posted by Ted Turner

...

Quote: Originally Posted by Mystery Man

I get rid of Walily I start removing the rest.. one by one. it will be all out war. But I will have the advantage of surprise.

Quote: Originally Posted by Ted Turner

...I see

Quote: Originally Posted by Mystery Man

This is the part where you're supposed to be giddy with excitement of this next chapter of business.

Quote: Originally Posted by Ted Turner

**** you.

The Ted Turner Memoirs VII. The Point of No Return

[lilbiggio]

And so Brehs, another summer is upon us. Let's open up that cold can of Memoirs brew and pour a little out for our homie Mr. Turner.

Yes! It appears Ted Turner has escaped death for the time being with an arrangement by the Mystery Man whom unfortunately must stay a mystery man for just a bit longer. There appears to be no way around the storm cloud of political warfare that is about to hit the city of Atlanta in the coming months.


Back in the A, the Braves just wrapped up a world championship to put a bow tie on 2015. Now with the 2016 offseason a day away. This team is about to take a hit and one star is on his way out it seems.

Jason Heyward is wanting a 120M contract. Holmon Keezel the frugal and crafty owner that he is, thinks that after 3 years of playoff disappearances, no way... no how... no chance, this guy touches a penny of that type of money in a Braves uniform.



To make matters worse from a negotiation standpoint, he slipped him a downright insulting offer of 1 year 7Million just to burn the ether just a bit more.




But before we get into the meat of this season's story... Let's set things up a bit?

[lilbiggio]

For the Seventh time brehs it's time to get up to speed. So with no further ado, this is now that magical time in the thread in which I now update you on the glorious Rags to Riches and back to rags story of Millionaire Ted Turner. The Synopsis is as follows heading into 2016: I mean hey if you didn't want to read over 90 pages of action, surprised at the amount of guns being displayed and just happened to stumble in on this one, you're probably highly confused already.

For those that know what's going on and are ready to get to the 2016 season just scroll on down, we got plenty of time for the rest to get their plate of food.


Our Story So Far (Updated 5/29/2015)

2010

Spoiler

Ted Turner and the Braves for over 20 years enjoyed a lucrative and great relationship. However somewhere along the way, Mr. Turner was strong armed, cheated and kicked to the curb by fatcats in pinstriped suits and power ties. Not even allowed into the stadium that bore his surname.

As Turner laid his head in self pity and near suicide he gave one last attempt at taking back what was rightfully his. Planning to exact revenge on those that wronged him Turner sought to Buy back the Atlanta Braves in 2010 for $500 Million dollars.

Along the way with clever plot devices and utter luck, the Prince of Atlanta's $500 million dollar request was intercepted and repackaged by a former employee of Turner's, Mr. Holman Keezel.

Together Keezel and Turner executed the Unholy Alliance buying the Atlanta Braves back from Liberty Media in May of 2010. Due to circumstances Ted Turner could not outright own the Braves but he would serve as psuedo General Managers. This could not and has not been revealed to anyone as of today.

As the Braves became more competitve in the summer months pressure from Turner led to Keezel releasing Sitting GM Frank Wren from his contract to make room for Ted. This unexpected move left Wren in a state of bitter anger.

Our story took an even futher dive into the dark side as, Holman Keezel months removed from gaining the rights of the Braves had his life nearly taken from him at gunpoint by a mysterious assailant. All the man asked was that the Braves throw the 2010 World Series vs. the Cleveland Indians..


As we all know though... things didnt' work out quite as planned. Atlanta became the 2010 World Champions of Baseball

2011

Spoiler

The following year things seemed to go smoothly, Holman and Ted went relatively under the radar albeit living under constant fear of death threats and random stalkings from our mysterious man in black. While this was going on, Ted and Holman fueded over the acquistion of a former Brave John Rocker.

Ted went behind Holman's back and signed Rocker to a minor league deal. To obscure his identity Rocker was to grow his beard out to bibical proportions, and rock gucci designer shades while on the mound. He was also to change his name to John Boy to throw off the scent of any New York haters. Although this made Rocker the coolest kid in the clubhouse it didn't equal wins, and Rocker has currently been stuck at the AA level working on a third pitch with Roger McDowell.

At the major leage level the Braves nearly went back to the World Series but were ousted by the St. Louis Cardinals in the Divisional series. It didn't help that they had manufactuerd the modern day 1927 Yankees thanks to poor A.I. or just sheer luck.. It would be later this night at 11:15PM that the mystery man and another man yet to be identified would meet up outside the clubhouse and through a turn of events that have yet to be explained, apparently have caused Holman Keezel to cease existing.

2012

Spoiler

With Holman Keezel sucking pipes in a local Atlanta hospital, Ted Turner took the reigns finally and began to make shrewd move after shrewd move building this team into a title contender. Because of the recent assault on Holman Keezel, Ted appointed Security guard Josh as the interim owner to keep the heat off of him.

It was a great situation, as Ted finally in control and without the check and balance of Holman Keezel, went after has beens and scraps that nobody wanted. Turner acquired hot head Carlos Zambrano and Rafael Furcal. he tried to promote John Boy, but silly him, he turned the paperwork in too late.. but it wasn't for nothing.

By relying on insider tips and message boards, the Braves bolstered their pitching staff with homegrown talent from the farm and blistered to a 100 win season leaving the rest of the NL East in the dust. Jason Heyward collected the 2012 MVP, and Tommy Hanson was the 2012 Cy Young Winner.

In the playoffs, the Braves would struggle but seemed to be just good enough to make it to the 2012 World Series. Meanwhile at this time, Ted and Josh recieved a subpeona from the District Attorney's office, and likewise read a critical article in the Atlanta Journal Consitution outlining a master plan by Liberty Media to Grandfather their way back into the saddle.

Regardless of the off the field distractions, Ted and the Braves were able to pull it together and defeat the New York Yankees 4 games to 2 in the World Series. The Braves were World Champions again, but the good times appeared to be coming to the end.

2013

Spoiler

The Atlanta Braves endured one of their worst seasons in recent memory as the injury bug hit hard and often. Going down at the most inconvenient times were Carlos Zambrano, Tommy Hanson, and Nate McLouth.

The Braves didn't panic though, and rode out the storm getting into the playoffs thanks to a strong month of September, and a coming out party of Jordan Schafer. However once in the dance, the Braves struggled with the bullpen blowing games left and right, and Jason Heyward collecting only 3 hits in the entire 2013 post season.

After going down 0-3 in the World Series vs. Boston, it was just too much for our boys to over come and the Red Sox ended up winning the World series and equaling the Braves Championship total at 2.

Meanwhile from a story standpoint, Ted Turner and Security Guard Josh stood in court awaiting judgement that ultimately looked to land the Braves in the hands of Atlanta tycoon and overlord Waliliy Casillas-Thomas. However just as things looked their worst, Holman Keezel walked into the court room ready and able to testify. A sight that shocked every last person in the room, due to Holman Keezel being gunned down 2 years prior.

2014

Spoiler

The season was pretty regular for the most part with Atlanta running away with the division out the gates.

But then around July Ricky Nolasco, Doc Halladay, and Charlie Manuel decide in a closed door meeting to go after the Braves with physical measures and beaned Brandon Beachy for what appeared at the time a non logical reason

This ultimately becomes the rallying call and defining moment for the Phillies and saves their season, foreshadowing a 2 month stretch of good baseball where Philadelphia incredibly erases a 12 game deficit down to a single game.

The Braves pull it together however thanks to Freeman and sweep the Phillies, but require late game heroics in 3 of the 4 games and thus introducing us all into the official beginning of the Freddie Freeman is really good at the game of baseball era of Atlanta Braves baseball. Freeman would take home the NL MVP award for his efforts in 2014.

Once in the playoffs the Braves advanced to the World Series where they faced off against the Los Angeles Angels. The Angels fought back from down 3 games to 2 and won a critical game 6 thanks to an Albert Pujols homerun. The next night, in a similar situation, the Braves elect to walk Pujols and wind up getting beat by the worst hitter on the team Peter Bourjos with a three run walk off home run in the ninth inning of game 7.

wow!

2015

Atlanta having taken the worst loss of franchise history on the chin, got back on the horse and
rolled out the gates to the tune of a 97 win season. The only problem? The Washington Nationals won 98 games and took the NL East crown up to the district.

It would be a season of the young uprooting the old, as Julio Teheran rose up and became a superstar over night. He pitched himself to a league best 24-3 record, notching him the NL CY Young award and MVP. We also saw the emergence of Tommy La Stella finally overtake Dan Uggla at second base, and Evan Gattis replace long time Brave Brian McCann behind the dish.

Once back in the playoffs, the Braves made quick work of the NL's best, and got a rematch against the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim who they swept in 4 games. Although it was a happy day for Brave fans all over, it became tragic for Ted Turner as he was abducted and taken to a remote location in Arizona to be executed. A bounty that had been over his head ever since 2010's refusal to throw the World Series against Cleveland.

In a turn of events however, it was revealed that the execution was to be flipped into a partnership. The mystery man clearly having a bigger fish to fry in the whole event of working for Walily Casillas-Thomas and has now asked Ted Turner to instead join him in a final mission to remove the Powers that Be from Atlanta once and for all.



And that's where we will begin part 7...


To Catch up on the details, go to the following links
Ted Turner Memoirs: Vegeance and Apple Pie - 2010
Ted Turner Memoirs Part 2: Corruption - 2011
Ted Turner Memoirs Part 3: Painkillers are a Man's Best Friend - 2012
Ted Turner Memoirs Part 4: Rise of the Powers that Be - 2013
Ted Turner Memoirs Part 5: Ghosts of Atlanta Past - 2014
Ted Turner Memoirs Part 6: Lines in the Georgia Sand - 2015

[Gronk4M13]

Glad this is back, I was getting really into the last part (part VI.)

[lilbiggio]

Quote: Originally Posted by Gronk4M13

Glad this is back, I was getting really into the last part (part VI.)

Thanks for checking back in, Coronas are in the fridge, and the wings are still on the stove breh.


The 2015 Winter Meetings

Remember when you were destined to have all the New York Yankees that mattered retire in one offseason like a practical joke gone horrendously wrong?

Gone are the days where the MLB Show powers that Be would have you scroll through page after page of mindless notes about which grown men were not allowed to come back to work. Wasn't it like 5 -6 pages deep back in the day? Now it appears it could be consolidated to a mere 2 screenshots.

Quote:

Dan Uggla - Retired. Reason: Age

He's saying age, but everybody in these hollowed halls knows damn well Tommy LaStella gave him an offer he couldn't refuse. To be frank, Uggla simply played himself out of a job, and a trip to Lawrenceville, GA loomed in the near future for him...However rather than doing the noble thing and kicking rocks elsewhere like a man. The bum decides to up and retire.


The loss of one Cliff Lee kinda made me tear up a bit. Lee if yall remember was heading to Atlanta back in 2011, and then due to circumstances and a reboot of the save file, wound up in New York City, and ultimately Philadelphia.

[lilbiggio]

The 2015 Winter Meetings
Free Agency and the Chamber of Secrets



Well we check back in around day 8 or 9 of Free Agency and nobody has collected any money yet. Look we all can't be fashionably late to the dance my friends, so somebody needs to cave in and sign a damn contract.

Right now, 29 year old Chris Davis leads the top 9 guys waiting for a payday with a whopping 94 OVR, which ultimately grants you a customary phone call from the Empire. The New York Yankees even with Mark Texeria as their everyday first baseman see the delicious benefits of signing away your biggest threat and making him your DH, or your waterboy. A cool 69 Mil was laid out on the table for Big Chris, which he's seems rather reluctant to sign.


Yall obviously see troubled Atlanta star Jason Heyward pulling up 3rd on the list. We didn't reup on the team option and let him bounce to the meetings. Through the first 10 days other than our joke of an offer, Heyward didn't recieve anything of substance. Would it be possible brehs that Jason Heyward, a man who wanted 95 Million dollars american as a bare minimum, would come back to the city of Atlanta for pennies on the dollar?




You and I know damn well that wasn't going to happen.




Can you imagine him rolling up to negotiations talking about. "I'm Jason Heyward you fool. Look at the rings, look at that rating. Yall rating people 1 through 10? Well shoot.. that there says I'm a 90 dude.

Jason Heyward the only guy in America to rate himself a 90 on a scale from 1-10 got what he wanted as a critical arms race between the Dodgers and Mets began for his services. Whereas the Mets made a reasonable offer of 28Million for 4 years of work right here in the NL East. The Dodgers were prepared to go all in, and make him their guy for the next 6 years to the tune of...

One...


Hundred...

and seventy-six....


Million...


Dollars.




Now, again friends, simple 5th Grade math would clue you in, that that's just 1 million more dollars than the Mets offer on a per year capital...but it's about the principalities man. Over the course of the contract, Heyward looks to rake in an extra 50 million dollars to go to the West Coast.

[lilbiggio]

The 2015 Winter Meetings
The Conclusion



Free Agency ends and the Braves pretty much lost out on every Free Agent they went for. Of course it didn't help that Holmon Keezel pretty much insulted the entire class with bull**** offers.

Quote: Originally Posted by Holmon Keezel

If you want to win championships, have a chance every year to possibly be an All Star, don't want the producer all up in the video... then come on over to Death Row,... I mean Atlanta

Yeah, that strategy right there homie... not going to win too many ballplayers hearts. Although I must say... I wonder when we will see a team's prestige or history of winning factor into player's signing choices ala an OOTP. Right now, it's all about the money or going back to your original team... maybe next year?




We were able to win out on a lot of the old dudes off the Waiver wire. Upton signed a deal pre free agency, and we went to work quickly to make sure Kris Medlen our #2 starter for the future was well taken care of. From that point on, it was just a matter of waiting out the offers and watching all the guys take their paychecks on the chin, and come on back to Atlanta.

The Holman Keezel era of financials is quite a demoralizing thing friends...


two players of note tho... we signed Aramis Ramirez to a play until you're legs fall off deal. 1 year contract, worth nothing really in the long run. And secure our utility guy when the fatigue starts kicking in. Even at 37 years old, he should give us some pinch hit pop that we dreadfully needed from Dan Uggla last season.



The other guy of intrest, Austin Wilson signed a 2 year deal and is the RF by default to replace Jason Heyward. After seeing the NY/LA bid war going for Heyward and realizing the major skill difference between him and Wilson... it appears that a rebuild may be necessary for that position ASAP if Wilson doesn't pan out this year. Upton/Schafer should buy us some time though with that project.


And as for ol' J-Hey... where did he wind up you ask?




The LA Dodgers top 5 is absolutely disgusting.



Outside of force starting Corey Seager at thirdbase, the Dodgers don't have a bad bat in that lineup. Speed up and down the order, and then Clayton Kershaw. The antithesis to our Julio Teheran. There are going to be some battles in 2016 with this team my friends... there will be battles in deed.