I'M THE BEST MMAANN, I DEED IT!

[malek05]

So I am playing VT (me) vs Clemson (cpu)...Clemson at home on default sliders AA...

3rd and 6, so I drop back in cover 2, but bring my safeties up as close as possible, because having them drop back more than 10 yards is useless, because the cpu never throws past 10 yards...

So, they hike the ball, and I start just swaying from side to side in the middle of the field, I almost start to roll out to follow the running back, but since he and the fullback stay in to block, i just keep swaying back and forth...

Two guys are running at me, the tight end, and the inside receiver on the right...I panic, my mouth gets dry, there is a slight bubbling in my stomach. I release a bit of gas and the rOOM suddenly smells like unleaded fuel. My girlfriend can smell it from the other room. She complains, but i threaten her with a dutch oven and she pipes down...

So, back to the story...I go left, then right, then left...AAAHHH! I am so confused, I should have just chosen man and gotten beat for the first down, it's not like they aren't going to score...

So finally, on a whim, I scoot a little closer to the tight end. Just as I do so, as I take that final commitment shuffle to the left, he turns inside...NNNOOOO! Oh well, you win some, you lost some.

Then, all of a sudden, the whistle blows and it goes back to the menu...they have 4th and 12... WTF?

How could this be? I dropped back in cover 2, and only rushed 4 defensive linemen, could this be...

No, no it couldn't... My palms are sweaty, my eyes are blurry. To nervous to breathe, my lungs start to hurt. I randomly check some internet porn sites to calm down. Thanks bangbros... I will download that clip tomorrow morning

So I go to instant replay...and...and...AAAAHHHH, it happened! My DT got a sack without me controlling him! HA, HA,HA! Want to here how? Of course you do...

So, he comes out of his stance, just explodes into the offensive lineman's face, like a soldier home from Iraqi might do his significant other upon returning to the states. The offensive lineman reared back and put his hands up, but it was to late, my DT was already sliding past him. One final push from his big meaty hands and poof, that bane of my existence was on the ground.

Then, out of nowhere, the fullback tried to blind side him, like an ex girlfriend telling you she is pregnant right when you make manager at best buy. What you thought you was going to keep that management money? Nope son, got to feed that illegitimate seed. He dove for my knees, but my DT had some sort of sixth sense that only the grotesquely obese have, like that little thing in the back of their head that let's them know to go with the honey roasted ham instead of the smoke turkey breast, because turkey is good for you. He jumped over the fullback and BOOM! So that noise was him hitting the ground, not the weird guy that stays above me lifting weights to Celine Dion songs....

The quarterback does this little shuffle with his feet, or it might have been his knees, because he suddenly went from being 5 "8" to 6 "1"... My DT broke down, shuffled his feet, and then lunged forward. You can't believe how intense this was, it was like one of those slow motion scenes on discovery channel where the mamma lion hasn't been able to find any food to feed her cubs, and then when she finally finds that gazelle, she leaps at it and they show it in slow motion. Or like when they always show the ants and the termites fighting to the death...or when david chappelle impersonated rick james kicking eddie murphy couch...I mean, i felt like i was watching a pivotal moment in the history of life, like i was watching NASA place those "moon rocks" in random places and then someone yells "OK, roll film!"

Then, the unthinkable...my DT falls on the ground, right in front of the QB! No, no dude! Get up! What happened, was it that extra burrito, taco, two buckets of hot wings? Did you catch a cramp? No, it can't end like this, it can't end like this! "Unbreak my heart" by toni braxton starts playing? WTF? My girlfriend walks out fumbling with the headphones to here ipod. She plugs it up and the song goes away. Oh okay, thought i was losing my mind there...

The qb dances backwards...stumbles...and falls! HE FALLS! HA HA HA HA HA! It was all just an animation. You got me EA, you really got me! I thought he wasn't going to fall.

I jumped up, pumped my fist in the air, did the running man, the whop, the cabbage patch, and some other weird motions that lead to me rubbing icy hot on the inside of my right thigh. I did it, i got a sack, against a good team, on the road, with home field advantage turned on, playing with no slider adjustments, and only rushing 4 people...

So, I DEED IT!

Eli, let'em know what's up...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loCxx...eature=related

**I'm sorry I wasn't going to make this thread, but then I saw someone made a thread blaming NCAA for the fall of western civilization...so now all bets are off...

[GoVols1985]

Lol, awesome story. If Hunter S. Thompson played football games and wrote about them, he'd be you.

[free2fawk]

lol

[kapo]

9/10. would read again.

[umd]

You sir, are a liar. Liar, liar, pants on fiiiiiire!

[Marino]

great story haha i enjoyed it very much

[Boltsfan224]

This has changed the course of my life.

[hyacinth1]

HAHAHAHA! Great Write up!