As others have suggested, there is no definitive right or wrong answer to this question.
I personally would vote for NHL 2004 Rebuilt. What makes gameplay realistic is the feeling of not always having a great pass or deke option (but still having beautiful hockey moments at times), as I think it simulates the "structures chaos" - just the mix of grit and beauty hockey provides - of the sport really well. Combine that with the great gameplay script by drgullen, which basically makes for more shots to go wide, passes to miss and generally adds some "random hockey factors" (also tones down one timer goals and therefore increases the variety of goals), and I think gameplay holds up greatly for a 18 year old game. Graphics are good too imo considering the age of the game. What than brings the game over the edge and adds a real authentic feeling, is all the accurate updates by the community (cyberfaces and pbp for most NHLers, accurate jerseys, arenas, goal horns, boards etc.).
Can not go wrong with 2k8 and 2k10 either though. 2k8 does a fantastic job of making each player feel different and has the best goalies in any hockey game (+ franchise mode is great). 2k10 stands out with great ai gameplay in terms of positioning and tactical feeling (breakouts,forechecking, pp and pk for instance really feel like it), while still having some of the gritty elements of nhl 2004.
Also I think ea's ps3 games have some elements that are excellent (for instance I always thought that the strategy of trying to shoot from the blue line and hope for a deflection or chaos in front of the end was very well represented in those games).
I do not own a ps4 or ps5, so I can speak about those games.
So, in the end, you just have to try out different games and slider sets for yourself and see what fits you best