For what it's worth, I played against one of the UD3's best players in its heyday the other week. I was not prepared for how well he could stifle me, but not once,
not once did I ever feel like I wasn't in control. With the EA games, the way they balance it makes the game feel clunky because of artificial delays on when you can and can't strike, for balance reasons. UD3 is remarkably well balanced. If you know what you're doing, every ground position can be escaped with the correct timing. You never feel like you can't strike due to artificial limitations.
Having said that: the top level of UD3 was not particularly realistic. Neither is EA UFC. Lots of body shots and a grapple heavy gameplan. Thing is, just by virtue of the game's speed, pace (on sim) and animations, it felt a whole lot more realistic than the EA games.
Even if you're a top player, you had to be wary when facing a guy like Hendo. You know that if you slip up,
one right hand and a chopping hook can rock you and put you in a really bad position. You can take a few knockdowns, but that damage piles up very quickly, especially if you're eating shots on the mat as well.
What I love above all about UD3 is the sense of total control, and the stamina/damage. There's something about the EA games which leads to a sense of frustration, and sure, I'm not the best player, far from it, but because of how it's balanced, I feel like I should be able to hit someone after a head kick is blocked, but I can't because they're not able to recover the block fast enough/the animation is too slow.
A combination of that and sluggish animations + inputs not coming out (again, for balance reasons) really makes the whole thing feel clunky to play.
You are on the money with the online. UD3's netcode is horrible, and even worse pre-patch. It's basically a 50/50 on whether you can grapple with the person you're playing against, sometimes it will just explode once you get in the clinch or shoot for a takedown. Some people you can grapple with fine, others, not so much.
People complain about EA's netcode but it is so, so, so much better than any of the Undisputed games (especially 3, although I hear 2010 was apparently even worse). EA's netcode would be a dream come true for UD3.
But
when it works, oh man, it is so good. I can play UD3 online for hours and not get bored.