No Brady Bunch: An alternate reality Patriot franchise (Madden 11)

[mnwildgophers]

Loving this weird twist to the franchise, it's really a cool one and you've had a really nice start, I guess the 2010 season doesn't count since you simmed it, but it looks like you'll be getting a bye no problem if you continue to play so well.

Don't move my Vikings!! Haha, just kidding, do whatever you like, it's always fun to see different things happening that are out of the ordinary. I'll be following, and keep up the good work, hopefully you can continue to play well and find yourself in the super bowl.

[Nunyerbiz]

Quote: Originally Posted by mnwildgophers

Loving this weird twist to the franchise, it's really a cool one and you've had a really nice start, I guess the 2010 season doesn't count since you simmed it, but it looks like you'll be getting a bye no problem if you continue to play so well. Don't move my Vikings!! Haha, just kidding, do whatever you like, it's always fun to see different things happening that are out of the ordinary. I'll be following, and keep up the good work, hopefully you can continue to play well and find yourself in the super bowl.

Thanks for the kind words, glad you are enjoying things.

When the season started, I was strongly considering some franchise moving to Los Angeles... At the time I figured it would be Buffalo. Just seemed like moving a team to LA would be a good source of inspiration for fake ESPN stories... I really don't want to move the Vikings, being a Detroit native and long time fan of the old NFC Central... but they are making the most sense as of today. They play in a horrible stadium, looks like their billionare owner is going to have to move the team in order to get a new one... and they are having an awful year in my franchise, so it all seems to makes sense. But nothing is decided yet.

[Nunyerbiz]

Dec 12, 2011 - NE at NYG
TEAM	1ST	2ND	3RD	4TH	SCORE
New England Patriots (10-3)	7	14	3	0	24
New York Giants (3-10)	3	0	10	0	13

Team Stats Comparison
NE		NYG
220	Total Offense	434
138	Rushing Yards	97
82	Passing Yards	337
11	First Downs	19
0	Punt Return Yards	19
170	Kick Return Yards	101
390	Total Yards	554
1	Turnovers	4
6-14	3rd Down Converstion	3-12
0-0	4th Down Conversion	0-0
0-0	2-Point Conversion	0-0
1/1	Red Zone Touchdowns/Field Goals	1/2
1-5	Penalties	7-40
30:25	Posession Time	29:35

Scoring Summary
FIRST QUARTER SCORING		NE	NYG
10:49	(NYG) L.Tynes, 22 Yd FG	0	3
10:37	(NE) D.Moore, 98 Yd kickoff return (Gostkowski kick)	7	3
SECOND QUARTER SCORING		NE	NYG
9:55	(NE) J.Palmer, 7 Yd pass from J.Warren (Gostkowski kick)	14	3
1:24	(NE) P.Chung, 99 Yd interception return (Gostkowski kick)	21	3
THIRD QUARTER SCORING		NE	NYG
11:28	(NYG) L.Tynes, 22 Yd FG	21	6
4:35	(NE) S.Gostkowski 22 Yd FG	24	6
1:31	(NYG) B.Jacobs, 2 Yd run (Tynes kick)	24	13

New England Patriots Boxscore
PASSING	RATING	C/ATT	YDS	TD/INT	AVG
J.Warren	51.3	6/16	89	1/1	5.5
RUSHING	ATT	YDS	AVG	TD	LONG
J.Palmer	21	103	4.9	0	23
P.Hillis	7	44	6.2	0	15
W.Parker	4	-3	-0.7	0	2
RECEIVING	REC	YDS	AVG	TD	LONG
W.Welker	2	46	23.0	0	30
J.Palmer	2	11	5.5	1	7
B.Tate	1	24	24.0	0	24
P.Rorie	1	8	8.0	0	8
DEFENSE	TACK	SACK	INT	PDEF	TD
B.Merriweather	7	0	1	1	0
P.Chung	6	0	2	1	1
B.Spikes	6	0	0	0	0
L.Rogers	5	0	0	1	0
J.Johnson	4	0	0	1	0
D.McCourty	2	0	1	1	0
KICKING	FGM/A	PCT	LONG	XPM/A	PTS
S.Gostkowski	1/1	100	22	3/3	6

New York Giants Boxscore
PASSING	RATING	C/ATT	YDS	TD/INT	AVG
J.Delhomme	54.5	24/37	337	0/4	9.1
RUSHING	ATT	YDS	AVG	TD	LONG
B.Jacobs	10	61	6.1	1	15
A.Bradshaw	7	14	2.0	0	12
D.Ware	4	6	1.5	0	3
M.Hedgecock	2	16	8.0	0	10
RECEIVING	REC	YDS	AVG	TD	LONG
S.Smith	4	121	30.2	0	46
A.Morris	4	64	16.0	0	33
H.Nicks	4	59	14.7	0	29
K.Boss	4	24	6.0	0	11
M.Hedgecock	3	24	8.0	0	15
A.Bradshaw	2	38	19.0	0	30
DEFENSE	TACK	SACK	INT	PDEF	TD
A.Rolle	6	0	0	0	0
K.Phillips	5	0	0	0	0
D.Johnson	5	0	0	2	0
L.Joseph	4	0	0	0	0
J.Tuck	2	1	0	0	0
P.Buchanon	0	0	1	0	0
KICKING	FGM/A	PCT	LONG	XPM/A	PTS
L.Tynes	2/2	100	24	1/1	7

Aaron Hernandez springs Moore for a kickoff return touchdown

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ -- The nightmare that is the 2011 NFL Season continues for the people of the greater New York area. Despite a solid defensive effort, four interceptions from fill-in quarterback Jake Delhomme doomed the Giants. In front of a crowd that barely filled half of the New Meadowlands, New York took their 10th defeat of the season, falling 24-13 to the New England Patriots. Their NY Jets roommates at the new billion dollar stadium aren't doing much better. Combined the two New York teams have five wins against twenty-one losses.

"Fans around here enjoy pissing and moaning about Eli Manning," said Giants head coach Tom Coughlin, "Well, after eight games of Delhomme, they would probably be lined up around the block to give Eli a hummer if they thought it would get him back on the field sooner. Jake is just playing awful". Delhomme has thrown eight interceptions in his last two games, leading many in New York to call for a change at quarterback. The team currently has third year veteran Matt Flynn and rookie Luke Medlock who was drafted in the 6th round out of Marshall. Manning was lost for the season in week five with a compound leg fracture. The Giants have lost 7 of 8 since the injury.

Brandon Jacobs gets an escort to his 3rd quarter TD run

New England struggled on offense for the second straight game, but got some help from the defense and special teams. Quarterback Jeff Warren looked uncomfortable all day, completing only six passes for 89 yards. The running game fared better, grinding tough yards in the second half and wearing out the Giants defense. Johnny Palmer went over 100 yards rushing for the third game in row and scored a touchdown. Kick returner Devin Moore scored his 2nd return touchdown of the year in the first quarter and safety Pat Chung returned a Delhomme pick 99 yards for a score.

"If I can play badly and the team still wins the game, it just shows what a solid team we have," said Warren, "I think we are doing something special here. Passing, running, defense, special teams... we've won games lots of different ways."

The Patriots have opened up a three game lead in the AFC East with only three games remaining. They travel to Buffalo next week to face the 7-6 Bills in a very important divisional matchup for both teams. For the Giants, well... who really gives a ****, they are 3-10 and appear to be battling the Jets for rights to the first overall pick in next years draft.

[Nunyerbiz]

Updated: December 14th, 2011, 11:54 AM ET

NFL fines Ochocinco for adult film role

____________________________________________

Associated Press

NEW YORK, NY -- NFL Commissioner Roger Goddell has laid down a record $400,000 fine against Cincinatti Bengals wideout Chad Ochocinco for his role in a newly released adult film. Goddell has not officially commented on the situation, but word of the fine was leaked via TMZ, Ochocinco's twitter account, Ochocinco's Facebook page, Ochocinco's MySpace page, Ochocinco's Fan Club email bot and Al-Jazeera News Network.

Ochocino gets record NFL fine

"The league does not have an official policy on players engaging in sexual acts with 17 seperate women while being filmed for a pornographic film," said NFL Spokesperson Barry Schwartzenbauer, "But damn, I have imagine that is against the personal conduct policy somewhere. The league is very supportive of our players and their interests away from the game. While I have not seen the film, I've been told that Chad destroys all lady-parts put in front of him... As I'm sure all red-blooded, patriotic, American football fans do as well. However, our sponsors are concerned that it sends the wrong messages to young fans. We think those sponsors are spineless wimps, I mean, who doesn't like porn? But whatever, they pay the bills."

In the film, Ochocinco stars as Jimmy Longstroke, a local community activist trying to save his low-income, urban neighborhood from drug dealers, pimps and the corrupt Police Commissioner Dick Limpall. The NFL has denied any connection between the severity of the fine and the film's main villian being named Commissioner Limpall, a seemingly obvious jab at Commissioner Goodall. Ochocinco also denied any connections.

"Hell no, that's just coincidential man." said the WR / porn star, "This script was written only to expose the plight of urban youth in this country. They have to deal with guns and drugs and gangs. I want them to look up to me. I want to tell them that if they follow my lead, they can bang lots and lots of bitches. My movie is all about positivity, love and harmony between all walks of people. Whites, blacks, asians, mexicans, some goofy sounding chick from Albania... I did all of them in this movie. We can all get along. Having sex with lots of patners brings the world together man! That's the message I want people to come away with after watching "Chad Brings Back The Johnson".

Ochocinco claims not to be bothered by the fine, saying that he was going to donate the proceeds to charity all along. "I don't need to make any money from this," says Ochocinco, "I got my Bentleys, my houses, my 14 pounds of gold fillings in my mouth, money ain't no thing. Anyways, I'm about to make mad money marketing my number one asset... OCHOCINCO! Peep this, check out what I just threw together to plug my new television network... That's right baby, OCHOCINCO is going to be a network executive! AWN in the Two thousand twelve! RECOGNIZE! Paris Hilton, Kanye West, OCHOCINCO, all those Kardashian bitches, Lindsey Lohan, Donald Trump, Sarah Palin... we all been lookin for a network that's all about us... Where we can be who we really are... AWN is going to be that place. We went into business together and made it happen. It's gonna be off the chain for real... Cuz when OCHOCINCO screams "LOOK THE [expletive] AT ME! I'M OCHOCINCO"... people appreciate that and relate... It's just like when they scream at the McDonalds worker for not remembering the extra mayo, or when the little league dad screams at the umpire because his kid struck out, or when twentysomethings cover their bodies with tatoos and piercings... LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME! America is OCHOCINCOLAND! YEA BABY!"