No Brady Bunch: An alternate reality Patriot franchise (Madden 11)

[Nunyerbiz]

Yep, he is the starting left guard.

And man, this draft was really, really poor. I didn't look at any draft guides, so maybe I'm just crazy and imagining things... but there seemed to be a ton of guys with real bizarro ratings. Like that 4th round center... a 48 OVR in the 4th?! WTF?

I'm finding lots and lots of guys like that, tons of F potentials and OVRs in the 50s. I suppose a certain amount of those guys should be around, but after the 3rd round there seemed to be very, very few sleepers. I think there was one QB, a D-lineman and a couple of safeties that struck me as being better than their draft position... but beyond that it was just tons'o'crap. I've seen 5 or 6 other draft classes and all of them seemed to have more late round finds.

[Nunyerbiz]

[This is an excerpt from an article in ESPN the magazine. You know the kind, where they ask the "anonymous mystery scouts" to report on various players. I don't think any anoymous scouts exist, those articles are probably written by some college intern who is getting all his info from fantasy football message boards. But anyways... if you want to see some specifics of the player ratings, click on the spoiler tags.]

1 - Jye Young | LE | ARZ
Nice balance of speed and strength. First step is quick, but not elite for this level. Could use better technique on tackling, but not a liability in run support. Immediate impact would be as 3rd down pass rush specialist, starting LE next season. In great physical shape, no injury history.

Spoiler

78 ovr, 85 spd, 80 str, 80 acc, 71 tak, 91 fmv.
good awareness, stamina and injury ratings. B Potential.

2 - Taylor Tull | LT | CIN
Very quick on his feet, but doesn't possess strength or size to survive at LT in this league. Projected as a guard. As quick on his first step as some TEs. Should perform well when pulling on misdirection plays. Conditioning could improve, sucking wind at practice.

Spoiler

76 ovr, 56 spd, 82 str, 82 acc, 75 rbs, 90 pbs, 68 sta
Converted to LG, should be a starter next year. A Potential.

3 - Jonathan Wentworth | QB | SEA
Arm strength is middle of the pack by NFL standards, but makes up for it with accuracy. Can make all throws required of an NFL quarterback. Not fast, but good pocket presence, sidesteps rushers well.

Spoiler

78ovr, 88 thp, 84 tha, 86 sac, 85 mac, 85 dac, 75 pac
Day 1 starter in Seattle. B Potential.

4 - Exil McClendon | DT | MIA
Smart player, but lacks ideal upper or lower body strength. He still hasn't completely grown into his body, lots of potential but needs to add some muscle. Solid tackler who had a nose for the ball carrier in college, should make immediate impact as a rotational DT in the base defense.

Spoiler

72 ovr, 58 spd, 87 str, 82 tak, 90 bsh
Gotta come clean, this pick shouldn't have happened. I made a mistake on a spreadsheet and had Miami down for needing a DT, well they didn't really need one. My bad Miami. This guy isn't bad... and he has A pontential, so it could have been worse. He should be a starter by his 3rd season.

5 - Shane Parisi | LT | TEN
(talked about him a few posts ago, so moving on...)

6 - Mike Lee | LT | PHI
This guy is a mauler, can swallow up DEs with his strength. His pass protection is very solid, but not elite at this level, probably will have better success at RT, but could develop into a blindside blocker.

Spoiler

79 ovr, 59 spd, 96 str, 82 pbk, 83 rbk
This was my "reach" pick. Every year some team takes a guy way before anybody thinks they will go. The game had him projected as late 1st / early 2nd rounder. But he ended up being better than "top 5" projected Parisi, go figure. Expected to be starting RT in third season. B Potential

7 - Johnny Palmer | HB | NE
Not world class speed, but should be able to occasionally get the edge against NFL defenses. Surprizing running power for his size. He can make people miss or run them over, but he isn't terribly great at either one. Should be a dependable workhorse running back, but probably not much of a home run hitter.

Spoiler

84 ovr, 92 spd, 73 str, 87, agi, 87 acc, 90 trk, 83 elu
Should be my day 1 starter at HB. He's a good balanced RB, so I can't complain. He doesn't have much room to get better tho, B potential and already at 84 ovr.

8 - Kelvin Haskell | OLB | BUF
Size is a concern at only 5'8", but the guy never quits and brings it every play. Elite quickness for the position, sheds blockers well, always ends up near the ball carrier. Was ready to be an NFL starter from day one.

Spoiler

80 ovr, 81 spd, 84 str, 92 acc, 85 tak, 90 bsh, 99 sta
Starting LOLB in Buffalo. Could see him making a decent MLB as well, good coverage skills 60 mcv / 80 zcv. B Potential.

9 - Darius Lawhorn | RE | TAM
This guy is the real deal. One of the fastest DEs in the league, he is going to get his sacks. But he tires quickly and does not take good angles defending the run. Coach him up in run defense and you have a three down impact end.

Spoiler

86 ovr, 94 spd, 91 acc, 94 fmv, 56 pur, 77 sta
Could end up being the best defensive player this draft. Starting at RE. A Potential.

10 - Lavary Burns | WR | DAL
Fast enough to get seperation from most nickle backs, should be deadly playing out of the slot, although he occasionally hears footsteps over the middle. Would start on many NFL teams.

Spoiler

81 ovr, 94 spd, 93 acc, 86 cth, 85 rte, 74 cit
Just seemed like a Jerry Jones thing to do... Respond to a season where you missed the playoffs by taking some luxury pick like a 3rd WR. If he develops by season two or three, the Cowboys will probably eat the cap penalty and trade Roy Williams. A Potential.

[Nunyerbiz]

Updated: July 29th, 2011, 11:22 AM ET

Alex Smith still looking for work

____________________________________________

by Random ESPN Blogger Guy Whose Name You Already Forgot

SEATTLE, WA -- What does a quarterback have to do? The 49ers finished 11-5 in 2010, won the NFC West, looked to be a team on the rise. Then why is their 2010 quarterback still unemployed?

Alex looks dashing in argyle

"Well, I think they wanted to go a different direction" said former 49er Alex Smith from his home in Seattle. "I think the franchise became the new popular guy in school. They didn't want the girl that just puts out, they wanted the girl that puts out and has a big boob job and does things that would make a porn star blush. I put out plenty for that team. I bent over, spread my legs, touched my toes, I did whatever they asked, but it wasn't enough." stated Smith, in a bizarre metaphor that I believe is about how San Francisco drafted Konrad Young in the 3rd round to replace him. Of course, Frank Gore and a stout defense had much to do with the 49ers success, and a lackluster performance in their playoff loss didn't help Smith's cause.

Smith drew interest from some other clubs, but ultimately is on the outside looking in as the start of the NFL preseason is only a week away. Rumor had Smith heading to Buffalo, but with yesterday's trade of Marshawn Lynch for Michael Vick, the Bills appear to have their starter. Minnesota signed Jason Campbell, because nobody thinks Tavaris Jackson is worth a damn. Oakland, Seattle and New England all have draft picks lined up as quarterbacks of the future and Washington seems content to see if former Tampa Bay project Josh Johnson has what it takes. The Redskins could still come calling if Johnson stumbles in preseason, and the Browns are rumored to have doubts about Colt McCoy, but for now Alex Smith will just be waiting.

"I'm ready to put out," said Smith, continuing his odd sexual metaphors which were becoming downright creepy by this point. "Just pay me my millions and I'll be your dirty, dirty girl."

Other pre-preseason notes

Interest was surprisingly muted this off-season for Reggie Bush. According to various league sources, he was holding out for a starting feature back gig, but no NFL teams were willing to bite. He has finally landed in Jacksonville, where he will be used much the same way he was in New Orleans. Jaguars General Manager Gordon Schumway has already stated that Maurice Jones-Drew is still the man who will see the most carries in front of all two thousand of the faithful Jaguar fans. Bush will return kicks and punts as well as seeing snaps as a 3rd down back and slot work for 4WR sets.

With Tim Hightower signing in Tampa to split time with freshly drafted rookie Malcolm Young, the market for running backs appears dry. That not good news for a few guys still waiting for deals. Representatives for Clinton Portis state he is in talks with multiple teams but Leon Washington appears unemployed until a team suffers an injury to a kick returner.

News out of Boston is that veteran Matt Hasselback will break camp as the first team quarterback. The Patriots have been simplifying their playbook and going with more traditional sets. According to Head Coach Bill Belicheck Bill Moore, who is not Bill Belicheck and who looks like an 800 year old dried mummy on the sidelines... "We don't have a Hall of Fame quarterback with years of experience in this system anymore. We want to run the ball from some more traditional sets. We've drafted two good young backs, one of them is a hell of a lead blocker, so we need to put those guys into positions where they can succeed. We still want to pass the ball, but the days of killing everybody through the air are long gone". Rookie quarterback Jeff Warren was also apparently having problems learning the complex, motion filled, Patriot playbook. Warren will likely split first team snaps in the preseason, but at this point, it is Hasselback's job to lose.

[Deuce2223]

Just caught up. Enjoyed the read. Looking forward to seeing what you can do. I am actually a Pats fan from the days of Bledsoe. (I am from Washington and WSU is my team). So I am not sad to see Brady gone (I still have bitterness issues I know) I thought it was funny you traded Moss and then he really did go in real life.

Even though I am also a huge Seahawk fan, I am not all that happy with your signing of Hasselback. I think he is done. I am thinking A. Smith should've been your guy or even another season of T. Edwards until your QB of the future is ready to take over.

You had some solid picks in the draft. I don't have Madden 11 but in 10, I found drafting Safeties in the 5th-7th round always got me a pro bowler in a couple of seasons. I also always seemed to find WR late who were not great Overall but played great in my system. Hopefully yours will do the same or maybe you can find a retread like a Javon Walker, Brandon Lloyd type out there in FA.

[Nunyerbiz]

Thanks for the read Duece, glad you like it! I still have to go back and finish reading your work with Boise State. I got about half way through it while I was doing my off-season stuff with the Patriots... but then finally had to force myself to get back to work.

As far as the Hassleback thing, I did kick around a lot of options, but at the end I knew I wanted one decent QB sitting on the outside without a job. Somewhere along the line, I decided that a younger Alex Smith, coming off a playoff year, made a more interesting subject than a washed up 38 year old... So I took the washed up 38 year old to battle my rookie in preseason and left Alex Smith to make weird quotes in fake espn articles. I'm positive Alex will be landing somewhere this year.

The draft was a bit of a bummer for me, mainly because I felt I did too good. I wasn't trying to do too good... went into it blind and dumb with only those little ratings diagrams to guide my choices... but I guess I should have tried to do worse. The talent in this draft class overall was not good... I think only the Detroit Lions, who somehow nailed on something like 5 of 7 picks with A or B potential, did better than I did. Never in a million years did I think a freakin fullback would end up at 88 ovr with A potential... I didn't think I would land two of only three or four good players that was worth a damn after round three... Didn't think that my 4th round QB pick would be near 80 ovr with a B potential. Hopefully it won't make things too easy for me.

[Adam14]

Lovin' this man. Can't wait to see what the 2011 season brings.

[Midgeotto]

I'm following. Great job so far. Enjoy the presentation.

[gronkowski87]

Loving the way your portraying what goes on in your franchise through fake ESPN articles. I'll be following!