what should i do?

[Hova57]

My wife and I friends are going through hard times right now. the husband his family owned business and is going through some type of depression. He lost his business in October and really hasn't tried to get a job. He almost lost his house and owes the IRS a boat load of money. There marriage is on the ropes . he shows her no affection and he is constiently drinking. he will tell her he'll show up to our house for dinner and either he will come late and extremely drunk or not at all.
Recently she has been talking to a guy she knew from college. she has gone out to drinks and dinner twice with this guy. she seems to like him, but i just think because he is showing her attention. also there were pics exchange if you know what i mean.
They do have a son and even then the husband is touch and go. he would not watch him when he was sick or bad weather outside. she would have to take him to work with her or pay a baby sitter which is crazy because she is the only one that works.
Today she was suppose to bring this dude to my house , i was highly against it. he isn't coming her, but i think only cause her husband said he was going to come.
i do feel bad for her because he is not contributing to the house and leaving everything on her. she's not happy and is really feeling this new guy. i told her she needs to tell her husband that he needs to get his stuff together.
i don't want to be involved in none of this crap, but should i tell him that she is talking to this dude.

[55]

Re: what should i do?

Best bet is to stay out of it as much as you can. It seems like they have enough problems already and it will save you a lot of drama if you don't get involved.

[GAMEC0CK2002]

Re: what should i do?

IMO, you need to tell her she needs to get her stuff together too. She can either stop seeing this other dude on the side or you have no other option but to tell him.

If it were me and my best friend KNEW my wife/gf was getting it on the side, then we wouldn't be friends if he didn't tell me.

[DocHolliday]

Re: what should i do?

Im not even sure what you just said, so I would not suggest you putting in your .02 cents.

[GAMEC0CK2002]

Re: what should i do?

Im not even sure what you just said, so I would not suggest you putting in your .02 cents.

1. Him and his wife have married friends
2. Husband of said friends lost his business and is now depressed
3. The friend's wife isn't getting any affection and is going out with another guy
4. OP wants to know if he should tell the husband about the wife seeing somebody else

I think that sums it up.

[e0820]

Re: what should i do?

Best to stay out of it. Sounds like the marriage is doomed since one is a drunk and the other is selfish and needs to jump on the next guy she sees.

[MassNole]

Re: what should i do?

So the question is whether or not tell an alcoholic in the midst of a downward spiral that his wife is having an affair. There are so many ways this ends very, very badly and very, very, very few ways this ends even remotely well. This is a fact pattern for a murder-suicide or possible double murder-suicide.....let that sink in then make the right call.

[Cebby]

Re: what should i do?

So the question is whether or not tell an alcoholic in the midst of a downward spiral that his wife is having an affair. There are so many ways this ends very, very badly and very, very, very few ways this ends even remotely well. This is a fact pattern for a murder-suicide or possible double murder-suicide.....let that sink in then make the right call.

Yeah

An alcoholic, unemployed, and possibly criminal husband vs an adulterous "it's not my fault I'm ****ing someone who's not my husband" whore?

I'd sit this one out.

[Hova57]

Re: what should i do?

Yeah

An alcoholic, unemployed, and possibly criminal husband vs an adulterous "it's not my fault I'm ****ing someone who's not my husband" whore?

I'd sit this one out.

i usually take that route of staying out. i understands both sides this business is all he knows and she feels alone and he shows nothing to her.

i just don't like being anywhere near **** like this. my wife and I are cool . our relationship is great we have our problems , but nothing horrific . and it just seems like people around us is in bad places. i just don't want to get infected.

her brother is getting a divorce that break up aint good.
her other brother wife is psycho and she rubs off on him.
then there are question about her dad fidelity. which we both know first hand. and no one else know about.
i'm usually first to hand out advice,but i'm stumped about this one.
thanks for the input guys.

[Heelfan71]

Re: what should i do?

if they are both your friends (the other couple) I would never let her bring some dude to your house. Doesn't matter what her husband is doing. What she is doing isn't any better. I would just tell her (in a nice way) that you are friends with both of them and don't think it's right to bring another man over here.

[MassNole]

Re: what should i do?

if they are both your friends (the other couple) I would never let her bring some dude to your house. Doesn't matter what her husband is doing. What she is doing isn't any better. I would just tell her (in a nice way) that you are friends with both of them and don't think it's right to bring another man over here.

This I agree with.

[dickey1331]

Re: what should i do?

if they are both your friends (the other couple) I would never let her bring some dude to your house. Doesn't matter what her husband is doing. What she is doing isn't any better. I would just tell her (in a nice way) that you are friends with both of them and don't think it's right to bring another man over here.

Yeah. If the husband finds out the your letting the wife bring over her boyfriend to the house then its not going to end well.

[elgreazy1]

Re: what should i do?

Stay out of it and let it be known you're staying out of it. Neither of your friends are showing any signs of maturity nor love, care or respect for their significant other in the way they're handling the situation; those types of mentalities together never end well in terms of relationships.

I lost my job, house & long-term g/f all within a month 2 years ago. Did I sulk, drink and let stuff go to hell? No, I picked myself up, kept moving foward and now I'm back in college, engaged & own a beautiful, affordable home. I didn't take the easy way out like your friends here.

[Hova57]

Re: what should i do?

Stay out of it and let it be known you're staying out of it. Neither of your friends are showing any signs of maturity nor love, care or respect for their significant other in the way they're handling the situation; those types of mentalities together never end well in terms of relationships.

I lost my job, house & long-term g/f all within a month 2 years ago. Did I sulk, drink and let stuff go to hell? No, I picked myself up, kept moving foward and now I'm back in college, engaged & own a beautiful, affordable home. I didn't take the easy way out like your friends here.

hey i did too i lost my job fired for something i didn't do. i loved my job making good money . to nothing . swallowed my pride and worked as an hourly somewhere i didn't just to help pay the bills. til i got something better i did that from april to september last year.

[elgreazy1]

Re: what should i do?

hey i did too i lost my job fired for something i didn't do. i loved my job making good money . to nothing . swallowed my pride and worked as an hourly somewhere i didn't just to help pay the bills. til i got something better i did that from april to september last year.

Exactly. Not saying it's easy but simply giving up like the two friends mentioned are clearly not willing to even slightly work.