The Official OS New England Patriots Haterz Club
I usually root for the New England Patriots to win the Super Bowl. I root for the AFC most years. They are a model organization and team.
But as I watched the Patriots beat my team last night on MNF, I came to this realization:
My team stinks. The Patriots are really good.
It’s hatin’ time!
Cause if there is one thing America hates, it is a winner that wins for a longer period than is respectful. NY Yankees. Duke Blue Devils. LA Lakers.
Tom Brady is the next Joe Montana? Please. Joe Montana won a Super Bowl by driving the length of the field and throwing a TD pass. Brady drives into FG range and then runs off the field to let the kicker win the game for him. Pansy.
Then there is Patriots Head Coach Bill Belichick standing on the sideline in a hooded sweatshirt like he’s auditioning for a role in 8 Mile Part Two. Doofus.
Troy-David-Deion-Brown-Branch-Givens-whoever. If a NE WR came up to you and mugged you in broad daylight, would you be able to pick them out of a lineup? No. Losers.
Speaking of muggings, the Patriots defense does more grabbing than a roomful of drunken Navy pilots at a Tailhook convention. Many opposing WRs and TEs end up questioning their sexual orientation after facing the Patriots hands-on defense. Overrated.
And look at the way they cut safety Lawyer Milloy right before the start of a season. A cruel, cold-hearted, corporate decision. Bastards.
And the usage of offensive players on defense, and defensive players on offense. How cute, in a "look at us, we’re geniuses!", manner. Showboaters.
And how many Patriots fans actually come from New England? You see them from strange places, like Memphis, TN. Frontrunning bandwagoners.
So join in everyone! It is time to start the hate!
But as I watched the Patriots beat my team last night on MNF, I came to this realization:
My team stinks. The Patriots are really good.
It’s hatin’ time!
Cause if there is one thing America hates, it is a winner that wins for a longer period than is respectful. NY Yankees. Duke Blue Devils. LA Lakers.
Tom Brady is the next Joe Montana? Please. Joe Montana won a Super Bowl by driving the length of the field and throwing a TD pass. Brady drives into FG range and then runs off the field to let the kicker win the game for him. Pansy.
Then there is Patriots Head Coach Bill Belichick standing on the sideline in a hooded sweatshirt like he’s auditioning for a role in 8 Mile Part Two. Doofus.
Troy-David-Deion-Brown-Branch-Givens-whoever. If a NE WR came up to you and mugged you in broad daylight, would you be able to pick them out of a lineup? No. Losers.
Speaking of muggings, the Patriots defense does more grabbing than a roomful of drunken Navy pilots at a Tailhook convention. Many opposing WRs and TEs end up questioning their sexual orientation after facing the Patriots hands-on defense. Overrated.
And look at the way they cut safety Lawyer Milloy right before the start of a season. A cruel, cold-hearted, corporate decision. Bastards.
And the usage of offensive players on defense, and defensive players on offense. How cute, in a "look at us, we’re geniuses!", manner. Showboaters.
And how many Patriots fans actually come from New England? You see them from strange places, like Memphis, TN. Frontrunning bandwagoners.
So join in everyone! It is time to start the hate!
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