Joke Thread

[WTF]

:y4: Seen that one coming, but funny nonetheless..

[23]

A man pulls off of the freeway lost, and looking for directions.

He sees a young kid and pulls the car up to him.

Driver : Hey there, I'm lost and I need some directions, do you know where the nearest gas station is at?

Boy: No

Driver: Do you know where the hospital is at?

Boy: Nope, I sure don't.

Driver: Well do you know where the post office is?

Boy: No

Driver: You fool.. you don't know where anything is at, you don't know anything!

Boy: "I know I'm not lost"

[WTF]

Quote: Originally Posted by rudyjuly2

A journalist from New York decided to write a story about small town rural life in the south. He traveled to a small town in the south in search of a story and found a man willing to provide him with information. The journalist asked the man to tell him his favorite story or memory growing up. The man responded, “One time, a neighbor’s goat got lost in the woods. So he rounded up a posse, we all got drunk and when we found the goat we had sex with it in every possible way before stumbling home. Man that was a good time”. The journalist said, “That’s disgusting. I can’t use that. Please tell me your second favorite story or memory growing up.” The man responded, “One time, a neighbor’s daughter got lost in the woods. So he rounded up a posse, we all got drunk and when we found the daughter we had sex with her in every possible way before stumbling home. Man that was a good time”. The journalist said, “That’s terrible too. I can’t use that. Let’s try something different. Please tell me your worst memory growing up.” The man responded, “One time, I got lost in the woods…”

I'm still laughing about this one... too funny.

[rudyjuly2]

Quote: Originally Posted by WTF

I'm still laughing about this one... too funny.

I heard that joke over dinner and kept laughing thinking of the punchline. There may have been more colorful language used while telling it.

[Cyros]

A mother and her son are sitting in the airport.

Son: If big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, why don't big airplanes have little airplanes?

Mother: I don't know honey, you'll have to ask a stewardess.

So the son goes off and tranks down a stewardess to ask his question again

Son: If big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, why don't big airplanes have little airplanes?

Stewardess: Gee, I don't know. You should probably ask a pilot.

So once again, the son sets off on his journey to have his troubling question answered by the pilot.

Son: Mr Pilot, if big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, why don't big airplanes have little airplanes?

Pilot: Well son, here at Southwest Airlines we always pull out on time.

[WTF]

:y4: That was pretty good too.

[Rainey]

Quote: Originally Posted by Cyros

A mother and her son are sitting in the airport. Son: If big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, why don't big airplanes have little airplanes? Mother: I don't know honey, you'll have to ask a stewardess. So the son goes off and tranks down a stewardess to ask his question again Son: If big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, why don't big airplanes have little airplanes? Stewardess: Gee, I don't know. You should probably ask a pilot. So once again, the son sets off on his journey to have his troubling question answered by the pilot. Son: Mr Pilot, if big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, why don't big airplanes have little airplanes? Pilot: Well son, here at Southwest Airlines we always pull out on time.

Haha, nice.

[OSUG1]

A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little guy staring at him so he looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."

The little white fellow faints and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says, "What's wrong with you?"

In a weak voice the little guys says," What EXACTLY did you say to me?"

The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 Feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, ! I have a 20 inch penis, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says, "Turner Brown?...Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, Turn Around!!