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My Wifes Fat Sister and other holiday disasters

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Old 11-23-2007, 08:08 PM   #41
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Re: My Wifes Fat Sister and other holiday disasters

Quote:
Originally Posted by Munkey
how did the fatass get it on the wall, did he wipe with his own hand
I honestly couldn't tell you.

It was in the weirdest places. No way was it an accident.
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Old 11-23-2007, 08:33 PM   #42
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Re: My Wifes Fat Sister and other holiday disasters

Haha, that's hysterical. God bless you man. Thanks for sharing.. haha
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Old 11-23-2007, 08:59 PM   #43
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Re: My Wifes Fat Sister and other holiday disasters

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Originally Posted by Turbo_Squish
That's the funniest thing I've read on here in a long time.

It also reminds me of my experience on 9/9/99. I had just picked up my new Dreamcast and NFL 2K and was about to leave the mall when nature called. Normally I avoid dropping a deuce in a public washroom at all costs, but I was facing a long ride home and had no choice. So I zip into a stall, put my great big EB bag with the DC in it on the floor, sit down and get ready to drop the kids off at the pool when the door opens and I see someone wheel by my stall into the handicapped stall beside mine.

This was followed by some commotion, some hideous noises (and aromas), and then finally a flush. And then another flush. And then a third flush. And then the words that still haunt me to this day:

"Uh oh sir, look out!"

As the son of a b**** wheeled out, his words were followed by what sounded like water (albeit chunky water) hitting the floor. I looked down to see a river of s*** flowing my way. It was surrounding my toilet, but I wasn't finished my business yet so I had to frantically lift my Dreamcast off the floor with one leg while holding the other in the air. Sitting there lifting the precious DC with one leg and trying to finish up without anything touching the floor was the most excruciating few moments of my life. When I was done I had to perform acrobatics to get to the small section of clean floor left in the stall and somehow managed to get out of there without incident. I stalked the aisles in a rage, looking for someone in a wheelchair, but I never found him.
lmfao
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Old 11-23-2007, 09:01 PM   #44
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Re: My Wifes Fat Sister and other holiday disasters

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Originally Posted by snepp
Having dessert.
yes!
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Old 11-23-2007, 09:08 PM   #45
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Re: My Wifes Fat Sister and other holiday disasters

I remember last year I was taking the routine morning deuce at school...the janitor comes in to pick up the toilet paper people leave on the ground in the stalls...

I was in the second stall (there were four) and the fourth one was filled to the brim with nice ****ty water. Said janitor goes to that stall and says something in a different language (we never did figure out which language he spoke) and proceeds to try and flush the toilet.

I close my eyes, knowing what is coming...and then it happens. I hear the man yell in that same language and go running, I hear the rushing water and I take a glance down the see if it's overflowing that bad. Upon seeing the black water closing in...I literally stood up, pulled my boxers and pants up and booked it out of the stall. I went straight to the shower, stripped and took a quick minute long shower to clean myself up - makeshift wiping, as I didn't feel like being an acrobat. Left the boxers as a precaution, didn't check to see if I pulled them up at an inopportune time, and went commando for the rest of the day.

If anyone ever asked me to clean anything feces related up...I'd laugh in their face.
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Old 11-23-2007, 09:44 PM   #46
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Re: My Wifes Fat Sister and other holiday disasters

Ha! Funny stuff....

You gotta tell her this line next time....


A bunch of us from work went to a restaurant in between two line of duty funerals that were being held on the same day. We're in Manhattan and the restaurant is pretty nice. Nice enough to have one of those hand towel guys in the bathroom.
Anyway...we're at the table and this one guy had been chowin' down since we left the firehouse that morning...he was eating bacon and eggs...pancakes....sausage...the works and then we go and have a meal and a half for lunch.This guy is legendary for clearing the second floor when he finally let's loose...
So he gets up and heads for the john.....and of course...we want to see what happens to the poor little Spanish guy handing out the towels...
First off.....the noise is hysterical....the guys looking at us like..."what the heck is going on".....then he starts spraying the cologne bottle when the smell starts pouring out from behind the door. I thought this poor dude was gonna drop and we are all dying...but we hang in there(and the comments are getting thrown out everywhere).
Our boy goes to give a mercy flush....and the next thing we know he comes flying out of the stall with his pants around his ankle. It seems as though he managed to completely block the toilet....WITH NOT TOILET PAPER IN THE BOWL
So he just goes into the next stall and finishes his business....and comes out to apologize to the poor attendant....He grabs our guy by the arm....and as serious as a heart attack tells him while holding up two fingers...."Next time my friend....two pieces. Remember....two pieces"
We almost passed out...
We still call him Two Pieces to this day....


M.K.
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Old 11-23-2007, 09:55 PM   #47
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Re: My Wifes Fat Sister and other holiday disasters

lol, I would have never of guessed that the thread I watched today during work was one about ****ting disasters.
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Old 11-23-2007, 10:40 PM   #48
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Re: My Wifes Fat Sister and other holiday disasters

This is the most amazing thread I have ever read in my life. I have MANY thoughts and opinions but am going out to eat in a few min and don't have time.

L-M-A-O
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