Wife left me for another man

[longshadow11]

My wife is a school teacher and she left me 5 days before Christmas for a man she teaches with. We were married 18 years. We have two daughters, ages 15 and 6. My wife is living in a motel and has very little communication with me. She sometimes sees the girls for an hour or two.

She told me in October that she wasn't in love with me anymore. She gave me a list of things to improve, and I really worked hard to make her happy. However, I could do nothing right in the long run. I was confused and upset for two months and began to worry she was having an affair. One night I overheard her telling my daughter that she was leaving me. I walked in the room and begged her to not break apart our family, but she began screaming that she doesn't love me. Two days later she admitted to being "in love" with another man. This other man has also left his wife and two children.

I don't understand how they can know each other for 4 months and throw away their families so easily. People all over our community are shocked and outraged.

I've been a wreck. I've lost a ton of weight and have a hard time sleeping. My oldest daughter thinks her mom is a whore and wonders why she wasn't good enough for her mom to stay with the family. The youngest doesn't understand why she doesn't see mom much anymore.

This is the worst time in my life. It is worse than I ever imagined. How could the one person I trusted more than any other do this to me, and worse, to our girls? The pain is so intense that it has physically affected me. I understand the phrase "broken heart" now.

I need prayers like you wouldn't believe.
Thanks,
Gary V.
Abilene, Tx.

[Knight165]

Man....what can one say?
Nothing is going to make you really feel better, but as silly as it sounds....there are a lot of good people here on O.S. that will listen.
Hey...keep your head up for your kids. It's going to be tough...just hang in.

M.K.
Knight165

[dickey1331]

Gary I feel for you. I am married and would be devastated if this happened. The only thing I can say is keep your head up for yourself and your children and God will take care of you. He has a plan for you.

[Gibbz]

Really sorry to hear that man. The most important thing is to be there for your daughters. I'm sure they're about as crushed by this as you are. Seeing a parent devastated and in distress is brutal for a kid. I know it's tough right now, but try to keep the kids' heads up. Putting on a happy face, as tough as that sounds, would probably really help them.

[SoxFan01605]

whew....

I'm so sorry. Without knowing you, I wouldn't think to pretend to understand or to offer advice other than to surround yourself with the people who you are truly closest to in this tough time. You definitely have my sympathy and prayers though.

[Scottdau]

Gary, that is heavy. I will pray for you and your family big time. Yeah some times people do so weird stuff and what your wife did is really wrong know matter now you look at it. A lot of times people think love is a feeling. They think they are in love with that person, because they feel it. Feelings can deceive you big time. My advice is try to eat and be there for your kids. Because no matter how hard this is for you it is just as hard for them. So you have to pull yourself up and be there for them. Not trying to sound like a cliche, but you have to be MAN and be there for your children and if you do that it will make it easier to go through this. That I do promise you. The good news is there are others that have gone through the same thing. One of my friends went through this same thing about 8 years ago. He is now remarried and is doing great, and he was real strong for his two daughters too. Keep strong and feel free to PM me if you need too bro.

[BrianFifaFan]

Man, it is evident how much you hurt. I'd can't really offer any type of balm for your hurting soul, but I'd say that you need to focus on those who remain. They need you more than ever. Truth is, she doesn't love him. She's just lost at this time in her life and you have to let her work through this. You can't make this situation any better by action. Your gonna have to let things you can't control work themselves through. Just focus on your daughters, and yourself. And don't be afraid to find persons who can help you through this and confide in them. It's gonna work out in the end. You've just gotta keep your chin up and not try to bear the weight of the world on your shoulders. You're in my prayers. Brian

[mgoblue]

Wow, I feel for you bro...you're in my thoughts and prayers. Just be strong for your daughters and do your best.