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In Eli We Trust - The New York Giants

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  • yoshistabber
    Banned
    • Dec 2012
    • 457

    #1

    In Eli We Trust - The New York Giants


    LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!!!!

    Having a busy life and all, I want to get back on the dynasty groove again somehow. So here we are. We will witness the stupidity of Eli and the gang as they try to reach the Super Bowl and make Tom Brady cry again. I don't know how this will turn out because this is my first Madden dynasty, but we'll see how it will turn out.

    Game: Madden 25 (Starting in the 2014 season)
    Platform: Xbox 360
    Sliders: Charter04
    Draft Class: Imported Draft Classes from NCAA 14
  • yoshistabber
    Banned
    • Dec 2012
    • 457

    #2
    Re: In Eli We Trust - The New York Giants



    SEASON RECAPS

    Comment

    • yoshistabber
      Banned
      • Dec 2012
      • 457

      #3
      Re: In Eli We Trust - The New York Giants



      2014 Preview of New York Giants


      Oh, it's the New York Giants. Big Blue, G-Men, Brady Killers....yes, the Giants. After going a whopping 4-12 last year, the Giants have drafted Jadeveon Clowney with the fourth pick, signed the likes of Jeremy Maclin, Ben Tate, and Kenny Phillips, and hired new head coach Demetrius Turner. Nobody knows how the Giants will perform this season after not getting even close to their expectations last season. With Eli nearing the end of his career and a new coach, the outcome of this New York team is unpredictable.

      But what we do know is that Eli will be playing around with Cruz, Maclin, Rueben Randle, Emmanuel Sanders, and Jerrel Jernigan. Their run game has improved with Ben Tate also. As long as the line can block, the Giants offense will do just fine. On the defensive side, Clowney and Pierre-Paul as the DEs, a deep defensive tackle depth of Linval Joseph, Cullen Jenkins, Johnathan Hankins, and Brandon Deaderick; and others such as Amukamara, Beason, and Rolle.

      The Giants must take note that they should play well this season in order to have a higher chance in preventing Pierre-Paul and Amukamara from leaving in free agency this offseason.

      Comment

      • yoshistabber
        Banned
        • Dec 2012
        • 457

        #4
        Re: In Eli We Trust - The New York Giants



        2014 ROSTER

        CAPTAINS



        New York Giants Depth Chart - 2014
        Regular Offense
        STARTER2ND3RD4TH
        WRVictor CruzEmmanuel SandersJerrel Jernigan
        TEMatt SpaethAdrien Robinson
        LTWill BeattyZack MartinGreg Robinson
        LGRichie IncognitoEric Herman
        CDavid BaasTravis Swanson
        RGBrandon MosleyJustin PughEric Herman
        RTEric BrittonJustin Pugh
        WRJeremy MaclinRueben RandleJacoby Ford
        QBEli ManningRyan NassibVince YoungJordan Lynch
        FBLex Hillard
        HBBen TateDavid WilsonBrandon JacksonCharles Sims
        Base 4-3 Defense
        STARTER2ND3RD4TH
        LDEJadeveon ClowneyDamontre MooreEverson Griffen
        LDTLinval JosephJohnathan Hankins
        RDTCullen JenkinsBrandon Deaderick
        RDEJason Pierre-PaulMathias KiwanukaJoe Kruger
        WLBJacquian WilliamsSpence Paysinger
        MLBJon BeasonMark Herzlich
        SLBKeith RiversSpence Paysinger
        CBPrince AmukamaraJayron Hosley
        SSAntrel RolleJacoby Miles
        FSKenny PhillipsCraig Steltz
        CBD.J. MooreJacoby Miles
        Special Teams
        STARTER2ND3RD4TH
        KShayne Graham
        PSteve Weatherford
        HVince Young
        PRDavid WIlsonJacoby Ford
        KRJacoby FordDavid Wilson
        LSRichie Icognito

        Red = Injured

        Comment

        • yoshistabber
          Banned
          • Dec 2012
          • 457

          #5
          Re: In Eli We Trust - The New York Giants



          2014 SCHEDULE

          WEEK 1 @
          WEEK 2 VS
          WEEK 3 VS

          WEEK 4 BYE WEEK

          WEEK 5 @
          WEEK 6 VS
          WEEK 7 VS
          WEEK 8 @
          WEEK 9 @
          WEEK 10 VS
          WEEK 11 VS
          WEEK 12 @
          WEEK 13 @
          WEEK 14 vs
          WEEK 15 @
          WEEK 16 vs
          WEEK 17 @

          Comment

          • yoshistabber
            Banned
            • Dec 2012
            • 457

            #6
            Re: In Eli We Trust - The New York Giants



            Prologue

            Terrence Ross: *on phone with 911* Sir, my friend is talking to himself and I'm getting really scared.

            DeRozan: T, WHAT THE F*CK YOU DOING?!!! *throws Ross's phone on the floor*

            Ross: N*GGA THE F*CK YOU DO THAT FOR???!!!

            DeRozan: WHY YOU CALL 911?

            Ross: CUZ YOU MOTHERF*CKING GOING CRAZY!

            DeRozan: I'M NOT CRAZY I HAVE TO NARRATE!!!

            -Screen pauses-

            Director: Jack, this is the wrong one.

            Assistant: But sir, that clearly says NYG00 on the file. I'm sure it's the correct one.

            Director: I'm seeing DeMar DeRozan and Terrence Ross not f*cking Eli Manning and I'm sure that's Toronto not New York.

            Assistant: So now what?

            Director: OH I DON'T KNOW MAYBE JUST FIND THE RIGHT FILE!!!!!

            Assistant: Bu-but....I don't know where to look.

            Director: START LOOKING THEN!

            Assistant: WHERE THOUGH?

            Director: *sigh* Go to the restroom, enter one of the stalls, stick your hand in your sphincter, and see if you got an idea.

            Assistant: As long as I get paid. *leaves the room*

            Director: That guy is a f*cking ******.

            -Random guy starts playing a video on the screen and disappears-

            Director: Huh? When did it start playing? Must be the Illuminati.

            3.....2.....1.....

            New York.

            TV: And now we are back to Nicki Minaj and her anaconda.

            Eli Manning: *eats cereal* This is some good stuff on television. So much better than when I was a kid.

            Ava: Daddy, what are you watching?

            Eli: OH NO! *turns off TV* Nothing. Don't worry about it, sweetheart.

            Ava: But that lady was doing weird stuff with her-

            Eli: FORGET ABOUT IT. JUST FORGET ABOUT IT.

            Ava: But-

            Eli: FORGET IT.

            Ava: Okay, daddy. *walks away*

            Eli: Phew....back to eating ce-

            -Victor Cruz comes inside the house-

            Cruz: WASSUP ELI!!!! WE GOING TO BE PARTYING TONIGHT!!!!!

            Eli: Uhhhh.....I still need to finish my cereal.

            Cruz: F*ck your cereal. You can eat some p*ssy soon.

            Eli: You do know my daughter is listening.

            Ava: Daddy, you're going to eat a cat?

            Eli: No, I'm not going to eat any cat.

            Ava: But Uncle-

            Eli: I'm not eating any cats anytime soon. *looks at Cruz* See what you do, Vic? You're making poor Ava here confused with your horrible language.

            Cruz: *slaps Eli* You know that I have to speak the n*gga language correctly. It's my culture. CULTURE.

            Eli: Okay whatever. So what do you want to do then?

            Cruz: Come with me.

            Eli: Where?

            Cruz: Oh, you'll see. It's amazing.

            Eli: Just tell me.

            Cruz: Nah, n*gga. It's going to the best surprise of your life since you seen your wife struggle pushing little Ava out of her-

            Eli: SHUT UP, VIC!

            Ava: Daddy?

            Eli: Just go to your room please.

            Cruz: *grabs Eli* Let's go. *drags Eli out of the house*

            Two hours later...

            -Victor Cruz and Eli Manning are on the bus-

            Eli: Why aren't we in a car?

            Cruz: Because that's polluting our environment.

            Eli: But we're still polluting it because the bus is-

            Cruz: Don't f*cking correct me. We're helping the world by using the bus instead of driving a car.

            Eli: Just wait man, what I'm going to say is-

            -SWAT truck crashes into the bus-

            Eli: HOLY SH*T!!!! ARE WE GOING TO GET ATTACKED BY TERRORISTS?!!!

            Cruz: DON'T KILL ME JUST BECAUSE I'M BLACK!!!!

            Phil Jackson: As long as I'm here, everyone will be safe. *takes out a Kobe and Jordan are better than Melo book and starts reading it* By the way, have you ever read this book?

            Cruz: N*gga, you do know black people don't read books. The only things we need to know how to read are "f*ck" and "p*ssy."

            Phil Jackson: Hmmm....that sounds like something that Shaq would tell me. *continues reading*

            -A SWAT officer comes inside-

            Officer: Don't fret, citizens of New York! Because- *takes off mask* THE MASTER OF SUCKING D*CKS, GENO SMITH, IS HERE TO SAVE YOU!!!!

            Eli: Maybe we should relocate to Ireland.

            Cruz: I'm thinking of the same exact thing. New York is just about sex recently. It's going to get tired very quickly. This is only the prologue and all I've heard is about p*ssys, d*cks, and chicks moaning.

            Eli: Moaning?

            Cruz: Yeah, in your house?

            Eli: .....No it can't be.

            Cruz: It could be happening still as we speak.

            Eli: I think we should just start talking about only football.

            Geno Smith: F*CK THAT MAN! JUST BECAUSE THIS IS A FOOTBALL DYNASTY DOESN'T MEAN SH*T! I'LL BEAR CRAWL UP YOUR A** TO SHOW HOW MUCH THE GIANTS F*CKING SUCK!!!!

            Eli: Says the guy who likes sucking d*cks.

            Geno Smith: YO THEY'RE GOOD YOU SHOULD TRY THEM!

            Eli: Vic, I'm leaving this bus.

            Cruz: But what about the party?

            Eli: No, forget you. *leaves the bus*

            Later...

            Pierre-Paul: So you're telling me the Jets are part of the SWAT?

            Eli: Yes.

            Pierre-Paul: And the McDonald's across the street?

            Eli: Bus ran into it and about ten people were injured in the accident.

            Pierre-Paul: Damn.

            Eli: Yeah I know. *eats cereal*

            Pierre-Paul: Do you really eat cereal at night?

            Eli: Of course! Don't you?

            Pierre-Paul: Uhhh...no.

            Eli: Oh.

            Comment

            • KingFry
              Pro
              • May 2013
              • 704

              #7
              Re: In Eli We Trust - The New York Giants

              First you trust Eli... then you say Geno is SWAT

              Geno obviously cannot hit anything, he is totally inaccurate. He'd shoot civilians and mistake the Giants for Jets. *sighs*

              But I'm following this. Looks good and that prologue was golden.
              White Sox Franchise

              Jaguars Franchise

              Comment

              • yoshistabber
                Banned
                • Dec 2012
                • 457

                #8
                Re: In Eli We Trust - The New York Giants



                Week 1


                Bus to Lincoln Financial Field.

                -A group of people on the bus are playing Blackjack-

                Maclin: Prince, if I win I will take your lady away from you.

                Amukamara: You wouldn't dare....

                Maclin: Oh yes I do because I'm motherf*cking Jeremy Maclin. F*cking teammates' girls since tearing my ACL.

                Beason: To be honest, I just want to play 21 without any trains crashing into tunnels being involved.

                Emmanuel Sanders: Correction, the proper term is Blackjack.

                Beason: IT'S THE SAME F*CKING THING!!!!

                Sanders: No it's not. Saying "21" is for those ******* plebians who don't know f*cking proper English.

                Clowney: And where did you hear that?

                Sanders: Reddit.

                Clowney: That's not a trustworthy source.

                Sanders: *slaps Clowney* HOW DARE YOU F*CKING SAY THAT ABOUT REDDIT?!!!! REDDIT IS THE MOST AMAZING SOURCE SINCE THE INTERNET WAS INVENTED BY MICHAEL JORDAN WHEN HE STRUCK OUT RONALDO IN A DREADED GAME 7 IN THE STANLEY CUP!!!!!

                Maclin: Uhhhh......so yeah I'll f*ck your wife now because I.... *puts down an ace and jack* got 21.

                Amukamara: But-but-but-but....

                Maclin: No excuses. It's over. I get to be with her in bed when we come home.

                Amukamara: WHY YOU DO THIS?!!!! LOSING MY VIRIGINITY WAS THE GREATEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME!!!!! WHY?!!!!

                Beason: Dude, it's not a big deal.

                Amukamara: *grabs Beason* NOT A BIG DEAL?!!!! NOT A BIG DEAL?!!!! WHAT THE HECK ARE TALKING ABOUT THAT IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL?!!!! HE'S GOING TO RAPE MY WIFE!!!!!!

                Beason: Calm your balls down.

                Amukamara: HOW WILL CALM DOWN?!!!!

                -Meanwhile Eli Manning and Victor Cruz are listen to Linkin Park in the back seat of the bus-

                Eli: I'VE BECOME SO NUMB, I CAN FEEL YOU THERE!!!!

                Cruz: BECOME SO TIRED, SO MUCH MORE AWARE!!!!!!

                Nassib: Why the f*ck am I even here? My a** still hurts from getting sacked because SOME PEOPLE *cough* *cough* sucky a** O-line *cough* *cough*

                Demetrius Turner: Attention everyone! May I have your attention?

                Amukamara: *raises hand* Coach! Coach! Coach! Jeremy is going to rape my wife!

                Turner: Does that matter right now?

                Amukamara: Ye-

                Turner: That's right. It doesn't. So let's get down to business. Did everyone hydrate?

                Ben Tate: I hydrated so much that my bladder will explode any second now?

                Turner: Then pee in a bottle.

                Ben Tate: I don't have one.

                Turner: Does anyone have an empty bottle?

                Tate: I....can't....hold....it any longer....

                Turner: SERIOUSLY DOES ANYONE HAVE A F*CKING BOTTLE THE MAN CAN USE?!!!!

                Tate: I TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!! *pees in his pants* Aaaahhhh......much better.

                Turner: Uh.....luckily we've arrived so let's go get off now.....yeah and stay away from Ben over there.

                Tate: I have never felt so relieved in my life.

                Eli: I'VE BECOME SO NUMB, I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE!!!!!

                Cruz: I'm tired of what you want me to be.

                Eli: I'VE BECOME SO NUMB, I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE!!!!!

                Cruz: I'm tired of what you want me to be.

                Eli: THAT WAS F*CKING AWESOME!!!!! Alright, now let's listen to "In the End."

                Turner: Can you get the f*ck off the bus before you continue listening to stupid Linkin Park?

                Second Quarter. 3:38 left in the quarter.

                Ben McAdoo: Eli, run A24 X Right Slant on one. Okay?

                Eli: That's not in our playbook.

                McAdoo: Then good luck.

                Eli: What do you mean?!!!

                McAdoo: Just go out there.

                -Eli goes to the huddle-

                Eli: Alright we'll just go into I-formation and run the ball right but if I say Honey Nut Cheerios, then it's changed into a play action pass. Got it?

                Cruz: What happened to the play, n*gga?

                Eli: Just know that our OC is a dumba**.

                Cruz: Seems legit.

                Maclin: What route do I run?

                Eli: Just run whatever route you want. Everyone just get to the line.

                -Giants get ready-

                Eli: OH MY GOD!!!! RACCOON RACCOON RACCOON!!!!! THERE'S A RACCOON!!!! SIX THREES! ILLUMINATI!!!! BARACK OBAMA!

                Patrick Chung: What the f*ck are you saying?

                Eli: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!! INDIA IS A CONTINENT!!!! INDIA IS A CONTINENT!!!!! I LIKE HONEY NUT CHEERIOS CEREAL! GO!

                -Ball gets snapped and Eli fakes the handoff to Tate and pass it to Cruz-

                Cruz: *catches the ball* HOLD UP CARY! Before you tackle me, I need to take my n*gga selfie of the day.

                Cary Williams: Can't mess with a n*gga's selfie. Make it quick.

                Cruz: Alright.....SIKE!!!! *runs past Cary Williams*

                Cary: YOU F*CKING A**HOLE!!!! COME BACK HERE SO I CAN GET THOSE CRACKERS AT THE POLICE STATION TO BEAT YOUR A** UP!

                Cruz: AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT! *runs to the end zone*

                Giants 10 Eagles 3.

                Cary: N*gga, I can't believe you.

                Cruz: Hey its yo fault that you f*cking fell for it.

                Cary: *starts crying* Screw you. *runs to Eagles sideline*

                Eli: What did you do?

                Cruz: Don't worry about it, Eli. I just got a touchdown.

                Eli: Yeah I guess.

                Comment

                • yoshistabber
                  Banned
                  • Dec 2012
                  • 457

                  #9
                  Re: In Eli We Trust - The New York Giants





                  Eli Manning upsets Eagles fans with clutch fourth quarter



                  27 | 20

                  The Eagles-Giants rivalry continue with another epic game; however, despite both teams playing phenomenal on both sides of the field, there can only be one winner. Eli Manning and the Giants came back in the fourth quarter to win 27-20 on the road before making their home debut against the New York Jets next week.

                  Player of the Game



                  Eli Manning
                  22/43 | 263 YD | 3 TD


                  The two time Super Bowl Champion starts the new season with a bang. Despite the two interceptions in the first half, Eli Manning had no problem throwing the ball into the end zone especially in the fourth quarter. Eli is looking forward to continue his great performance against the Jets next week.


                  Shine Kid Shine!



                  Matt Barkley
                  13/20 | 129 Passing YD | 3 Carries | 13 Rushing YD


                  Nick Foles went down with a currently an unknown injury in the second quarter, but that did not stop the Eagles from putting a fight against the Giants. The former USC product completed 13 out 20 for 129 yards against the Giants defense. Expect Barkley to start for a while until the Eagles find out Foles's injury.


                  Rookie Watch



                  Jadeveon Clowney
                  5 Tackles | 1 Sack


                  The fourth pick of the 2014 draft has come to play in his first start and NFL debut. He had five tackles and sacked Nick Foles on the play when Foles got injured. Everyone wants more of this performance from Clowney after losing Justin Tuck in free agency.


                  Are You on Drugs?



                  Bryce Brown
                  7 Carries | 91 YD | 1 TD


                  While LeSean McCoy had a pretty good game, the play of the game has to go to Bryce Brown. Near the end of the third quarter, Bryce Brown ran a 37 yard touchdown after trucking all of the Giants linemen and secondary like it was nothing. The No Fun League could possibly test Bryce Brown for steroids because they do not assume that the Giants players just need to go in the weight room.


                  SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL: New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles
                  WEEK 1 20141ST2ND3RD4THSCORE
                  New York Giants (0-0)3731427
                  Philadelphia Eagles (0-0)01010020
                  Team Stats Comparison
                  NYGPHI
                  Total Offense368430
                  Rushing Yards122225
                  Passing Yards246205
                  First Downs1720
                  Punt Return Yards5260
                  Kick Return Yards150102
                  Total Yards570592
                  Turnovers23
                  3rd Down Converstion5-165-13
                  4th Down Conversion1-10-1
                  2-Point Conversion0-00-0
                  Red Zone Touchdowns/Field Goals3-40-1
                  Penalties0-00-0
                  Posession Time24:0919:51
                  Scoring Summary
                  FIRST QUARTER SCORINGNYGPHI
                  2:47(NYG) S. Graham, 20 YD FG30
                  SECOND QUARTER SCORINGNYGPHI
                  6:47(PHI) J. Brown, 41 YD FG33
                  3:31(NYG) V. Cruz 24 YD pass from E. Manning103
                  0:55(PHI) B. Smith 30 YD pass from N. Foles1010
                  THIRD QUARTER SCORINGNYGPHI
                  7:10(PHI) J Brown, 43 YD FG1013
                  1:44(NYG) S. Graham, 34 YD FG1313
                  0:19(PHI) B. Brown, 37 YD run1320
                  FOURTH QUARTER SCORINGNYGPHI
                  8:07(NYG) E. Sanders 12 YD pass from E. Manning2020
                  3:43(NYG) J. Maclin 24 YD pass from E. Manning2720
                  New York Giants
                  PASSINGC/AYDSTDINT
                  Eli Manning22/4026332
                  RUSHINGATTYDSAVGTD
                  Brandon Jackson13393.00
                  Ben Tate11696.20
                  David Wilson5183.60
                  Eli Manning2-4-2.00
                  RECEIVINGRECYDSAVGTD
                  Jeremy Maclin48822.01
                  Rueben Randle45413.50
                  Victor Cruz47117.71
                  Matt Spaeth4266.50
                  Emmanuel Sanders3217.01
                  Adrien Robinson111.00
                  David Wilson1-1-1.00
                  Ben Tate133.00
                  BLOCKINGPANCAKESACK
                  Matt Spaeth40
                  Adrein Robinson10
                  Lex Hillard10
                  David Baas10
                  Zack Martin10
                  DEFENSETACKSACKINTTD
                  Kenny Phillips60.000
                  Jayron Hosley60.000
                  Jon Beason50.000
                  Antrel Rolle50.000
                  Jadeveon Clowney51.000
                  Linval Joseph40.000
                  Jason Pierre-Paul30.000
                  Craig Steltz30.000
                  Cullen Jenkins30.000
                  Johnathan Hankins20.000
                  Mark Herzlich20.000
                  Keith Rivers20.000
                  Jeromy Miles20.000
                  D.J. Moore20.010
                  Prince Amukamara20.010
                  KICKINGFGXPPTSLONG
                  Shayne Graham2/23/3935
                  PUNTINGNOYDSAVGIN20
                  Steve Weatherford627846.30
                  KICK RETURNRETYDSAVGTD
                  Jacoby Ford412230.50
                  David Wilson12828.0
                  PUNT RETURNRETYDSAVGTD
                  David Wilson35217.30
                  Philadelphia Eagles
                  PASSINGC/AYDSTDINT
                  Nick Foles7/198811
                  Matt Barkley13/2012901
                  RUSHINGATTYDSAVGTD
                  LeSean McCoy151167.70
                  Bryce Brown79113.01
                  Matt Barkley3134.30
                  Nick Foles155.00
                  RECEIVINGRECYDSAVGTD
                  LeSean McCoy7527.40
                  Brent Celek56412.80
                  Brad Smith35317.61
                  Arrelious Benn22211.00
                  DeSean Jackson11313.00
                  Bryce Brown155.00
                  Damaris Johnson188.00
                  BLOCKINGPANCAKESACK
                  Jason Avant50
                  Lane Johnson11
                  Matt Tobin10
                  Todd Herremans10
                  Allen Barbre10
                  DEFENSETACKSACKINTTD
                  Patrick Chung100.010
                  Brock Vereen70.000
                  Connor Barwin51.000
                  Cary Williams51.000
                  Bradley Fletcher40.000
                  Cedric Thornton40.000
                  DeMeco Ryans40.000
                  Jake Knott31.000
                  Trent Cole30.000
                  Ha Ha Clinton-Dix20.000
                  Antonio Dixon20.000
                  Brandon Boykin10.010
                  Jeoffrey Pagan10.000
                  Fletcher Cox10.000
                  Arrelious Benn11.000
                  KICKINGFGXPPTSLONG
                  Josh Brown2/22/2844
                  PUNTINGNOYDSAVGIN20
                  Donnie Jones524749.41
                  KICK RETURNRETYDSAVGTD
                  Brad Smith48120.20
                  Joe McKnight12121.00
                  PUNT RETURNRETYDSAVGTD
                  DeSean Jackson55110.20
                  Damaris Jackson199.00

                  Comment

                  • yoshistabber
                    Banned
                    • Dec 2012
                    • 457

                    #10
                    Re: In Eli We Trust - The New York Giants

                    Some bad news. File messed up so this has to end. Should I start over or pick another team?

                    Comment

                    • MetsFan4Ever
                      Rookie
                      • Jul 2012
                      • 28

                      #11
                      Re: In Eli We Trust - The New York Giants

                      Originally posted by yoshistabber
                      Some bad news. File messed up so this has to end. Should I start over or pick another team?
                      Start over.
                      MLB 12 The Show Mets Franchise: 75-87 (Year 1)

                      Year 2: TBA

                      Actual 2013 Mets Record: 74-88

                      Comment

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