05-23-2018, 11:05 PM
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#398
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All Star
OVR: 20
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Vancouver, BC
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Re: The Official NHL 2017-2018 Stanley Cup Playoffs Thread
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Originally Posted by DrJones |
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Imagine, if you will, a hardcore sports fan from April 2014 somehow time-traveled to the present. How would that conversation go?
"Sweet, I'm in the future! Hey you, tell me what's happened in sports the last few years, so I can go back to 2014 and get rich like Biff Tannen!"
"Uh..."
"Come on, come on. Let's start with the NBA. How many more titles did the Heat win? Two? Three?"
"The NBA? Well, once LeBron re-signed with the Cavs --"
"WHAT?"
" -- Cleveland and Golden State became the league's dominant teams."
"Golden State?? They haven't even reached the Finals for 40 years!"
"Yeah, well, after the Warriors 1st title, they beat the '96 Bulls record for most wins in a season, then blew a 3-1 lead in the Finals to the Cavs. LeBron averaged 40 points, had an iconic block at the end. I think Golden State had a 50-2 home record before losing Games 5 & 7."
*stunned pause*
"So two teams who haven't won in 40 years win championships in a league where nothing ever changes? LeBron goes back to ****ing CLEVELAND? Yeah, right."
*shrugs*
"And baseball? I suppose you're going to tell me that the Yankees and Red Sox take a powder while some perputual sadsack wins the World Series? The Royals? Astros? Indians? The Goddamn Cubs?"
"Yes."
"Whaddyou mean, "Yes"? One of those teams actually won it all?"
"All of them did."
"ALL OF THEM DID??"
"Well, just about. The Indians didn't. The Cubs beat them 8-7 in extra innings in Game 7."
"That's... that's gotta be straight-up bull****. What else happened in the last 4 years?"
"Uh, lessee. Well, Leicester City won the Premier League --"
"You mean the Championship, England's second tier league. You obviously don't follow football much, you dumb Canadian. The same rich clubs always win the Premier League. Leicester's a minnow. Leicester hasn't even been IN the Premier League in 10 years."
"-- and um, there was a Triple Crown winner in horse racing. Sergio Garcia won the Masters. Roger Federer won a bunch more Slams and is #1 in the world again. The Eagles beat the Pats the Super Bowl. With their backup QB."
"..."
"I see. Apparently the future is full of liars. You're saying ALL OF THIS happened in the last 4 years?"
"Most of it was in 2016."
"Uh huh. And I suppose hockey was equally bizarre? Lemme guess, the Canucks finally won a Cup? The Leafs? Buffalo? The Sharks and Caps stopped choking like dogs?"
"Hmm, no. The Sharks and Caps pulled some pretty big chokes. The last 4 Cup champs were LA, the Blackhawks, and then back-to-back for Pittsburgh. The Bruins will probably win this year."
"Oh. That's... exactly what I would've expected."
"Yeah, well."
"Huh. What's going on in the world, aside from sports? Same old same old, I presume?"
"Yeah, don't ask."
Bruins over Ducks in 6
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"Hey, I was wrong! The Caps didn't blow it this time. In the 1st round, they were down 0-2 and scored a fluky goal in double OT to stay alive. Then they finally beat Pittsburgh! Then they blew a 2-0 lead in the East Final and managed to reverse a choke for the first time ever."
"Uh huh, I'm sure that's exactly what happened, liar from the the future. Who'd they play in this fantasy Stanley Cup Final of yours? Sharks? Canucks? Blues? The pathetic Oilers?"
"The Vegas Golden Knights."
"F*** YOU." |
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