Here's the most concise sports game related analogy I can make:
If I'm playing a baseball game and I swing the bat, I want the player's (both pitcher and hitter) ratings to solely determine what happens. I don't care if the ball goes right through the bat for a strikeout. And this is why: because I didn't design the game. So, if I need to ignore a complete lack of collision detection in the game to gain realism, I'm all for it. If someone designs a game that does both, bravo!
The other side to me is about competition at the expense of realism. But, ultimately you master the game and there is no longer competition. It's about memorizing movements, getting lucky, practice making perfect and the game is just a short little hill that you climb and jump on top of for a few months.
I don't find that interesting.
2K11 is the closest we have ever been to both. But it has its shortcomings, thus the band-aids.
Hands @ 50 is default, 0 will nearly eliminate deflections. Pass Accuracy @ 50 is default, 100 will make almost all passes perfectly placed (the system will always be wonky). But if you just click down 1-2 on hands, and up 1 on pass accuracy until it feels right to you, you'll get it. It's hard for my to quantify what you want. But, you'll feel it.