1. Pick 6's...when the CPU gets a pick it's off to the house, guaranteed check into cash . No matter the fact that it's a d-lineman barreling 80yds to paydirt, even my fastest wr can't stop this burner. When I "magically" get a pick, I also get the matrix swing of the camera (not to mention horrible blocks to compliment) and stairway to heaven quickly turns into a step stool.
2. Running down the qb...when I scramble it's as if I'm a walking t-bone at the local dog kennel. I don't care if my qb has 99 speed your de with two broken legs is a gamer, I mean olympic qualifying fast. Now flip the script, when I try and run down the cpu's road runner qb I get left in the dust, that poor coyote. And just what rating gives you an invisible force field.
3. Recover loose balls...fumble or onsides, does the CPU know stickum is banned (cough cough 80's Raiders). The cpu has the magic fingers that bring the balls in, while all I can managed to do is kick it around a few times while my guys try and catch the well oiled swine. It's ok I didn't really want that game winning turnover anyways.
4. Drew Brees on the bench...the CPU might be starting a lemon at qb but that's ok. When I knock him out, Drew is on the bench ready to lead the game winning charge. Better not knock him out though cause a young Montana is in waiting in the wings as the back up to the back up.
5. Cross the field pass coverage...think you have an open window? Got the safety faked on the play action? Have the tight end streaking down the field wide open? You haven't struck it big, It's all fool's gold. All it takes is a db 40 yds away to swat that bird out of the air. Too bad when your on defense you couldn't swat a fly to save your life, I'll just watch that wr catch the ball. Man that catch should be on Sports Center.
6. Land the great jobs...what's that? You have won the national title 14 times at NIU? Your dream job has been open twice and they have only offered you a job as the special teams coordinator. It's ok, I bet NIU is making it hard for you to give that gig up, I mean with all the raises, facility upgrades, and renaming the stadium after you and all.
7. Audible my audible...ah a chess match with Peyton Manning, I hope you brought your pawn. Oh sweet they are in a nickel package, what a great time to audible to the run. Haha you think that sliding your db to tackle can stop my power run...loss of 3? What the...Checkmate.
8. Getting blocked...NOTTTT...ah yes the ancient Chinese art of only appearing to be blocked. Oh How my eyes deceive me. Surely my two pulling linemen can block that one dude I mean what are the odds. Surely my wr can block that db right in front of him. Wrong, wrong, and wrong, MC Hammer couldn't have done it better himself. Can't touch this.
9. Recruit PTP's...(Prime Time Players Baby)...I don't know who does the recruiting for the CPU, a cat maybe? But they leave the cupboard bare. Why get that left tackle when the cpu's punter is just a good or even better at defending the pass rush? And you actually think ratings matter? Have fun watching that 60's rated end Ndamukong Suh your All American tackle into your qb. The CPU is better at plugging and playing than Belichick himself.
10. Win the challenge...I feel like Jim Schwartz at the thanksgiving diner table, I can't get a challenge and I don't get no respect. Heck the CPU wins challenges that don't even need to be called. Maybe once the refs will take notice of the sideline or the ground causing fumble...Throw the red flag.
Feel free to add your own observations.
2. Running down the qb...when I scramble it's as if I'm a walking t-bone at the local dog kennel. I don't care if my qb has 99 speed your de with two broken legs is a gamer, I mean olympic qualifying fast. Now flip the script, when I try and run down the cpu's road runner qb I get left in the dust, that poor coyote. And just what rating gives you an invisible force field.
3. Recover loose balls...fumble or onsides, does the CPU know stickum is banned (cough cough 80's Raiders). The cpu has the magic fingers that bring the balls in, while all I can managed to do is kick it around a few times while my guys try and catch the well oiled swine. It's ok I didn't really want that game winning turnover anyways.
4. Drew Brees on the bench...the CPU might be starting a lemon at qb but that's ok. When I knock him out, Drew is on the bench ready to lead the game winning charge. Better not knock him out though cause a young Montana is in waiting in the wings as the back up to the back up.
5. Cross the field pass coverage...think you have an open window? Got the safety faked on the play action? Have the tight end streaking down the field wide open? You haven't struck it big, It's all fool's gold. All it takes is a db 40 yds away to swat that bird out of the air. Too bad when your on defense you couldn't swat a fly to save your life, I'll just watch that wr catch the ball. Man that catch should be on Sports Center.
6. Land the great jobs...what's that? You have won the national title 14 times at NIU? Your dream job has been open twice and they have only offered you a job as the special teams coordinator. It's ok, I bet NIU is making it hard for you to give that gig up, I mean with all the raises, facility upgrades, and renaming the stadium after you and all.
7. Audible my audible...ah a chess match with Peyton Manning, I hope you brought your pawn. Oh sweet they are in a nickel package, what a great time to audible to the run. Haha you think that sliding your db to tackle can stop my power run...loss of 3? What the...Checkmate.
8. Getting blocked...NOTTTT...ah yes the ancient Chinese art of only appearing to be blocked. Oh How my eyes deceive me. Surely my two pulling linemen can block that one dude I mean what are the odds. Surely my wr can block that db right in front of him. Wrong, wrong, and wrong, MC Hammer couldn't have done it better himself. Can't touch this.
9. Recruit PTP's...(Prime Time Players Baby)...I don't know who does the recruiting for the CPU, a cat maybe? But they leave the cupboard bare. Why get that left tackle when the cpu's punter is just a good or even better at defending the pass rush? And you actually think ratings matter? Have fun watching that 60's rated end Ndamukong Suh your All American tackle into your qb. The CPU is better at plugging and playing than Belichick himself.
10. Win the challenge...I feel like Jim Schwartz at the thanksgiving diner table, I can't get a challenge and I don't get no respect. Heck the CPU wins challenges that don't even need to be called. Maybe once the refs will take notice of the sideline or the ground causing fumble...Throw the red flag.
Feel free to add your own observations.
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