Final Madden NFL 16 Roster Update Available Now - Details & Spreadsheet (2-11-16)
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Dan B.
Player Ratings Administrator
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Re: Final Madden NFL 16 Roster Update Available Now - Details & Spreadsheet (2-11-16)
A short answer...no. Here's a longer answer in spoilers of course.
SpoilerTo: John Madden
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden ‘07
Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is ****ing bull**** and you should kiss my mother-****ing ***. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his *** on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.
You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a ****ing 12. I rate you a ****ing 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever… except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery *** a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-dick. Go do Al Micheals or something. Boom. Score one for Red Beard.
It’s also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly s*** and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast. ****, John, I understand you saying that I am slow and lacking athleticism, but a rating like this pretty much labels me as ********. Rod “He Hate Me” Smart has a 52 in this category. E lectronic Arts is saying that seven rating points separate me and the breathing embodiment of the perfect oxymoron. Rod Smart struggled to arrange words in sentence form. Cave men had better hold of the English language. The only actions that separate point values of ignorance at this embarrassing level are things like using your own toothbrush to wipe your ***. I basically edged out Rod by my lack of s*** teeth. If I take a night school class, could you bump me up to a 60?
I guess I just can’t fathom the fact that I am the absolute worst player rated out of the entire NFL. ****, man, there are some s****y guys out there. Amongst everyone, I was rated the absolute worst.
I have received the impression that you feel that I am lacking in the agility category. I should consider a walk through my living room where I don’t crash trough a wall or kick over furniture a resounding success. My agility rating on your game is 33. It makes it sound like I just topple over if I start walking too fast. Ted Washington is rated a 40 in agility. He is listed at 365 ponds. If Ted Washington tied a white lady up and made her wear a metal bikini, he’d look just like Jabba the Hut.
John, you are such a ****ing dick. I also noticed that my kick return rating was a 0. I was rated a ****ing zero? So you feel that I shouldn’t even receive a 10, or even a 5? You are pretty much saying that I couldn’t even fall forward on a ball kicked in my direction. I would just stand there and let the ball bounce off of my ****ing face. **** that, John, I returned an onside kick 6 yards in 2002. You should have just slapped a -4 on me and had the EA staff ambush me with paintball guns.
Finally, I would like to comment on an unlikely topic, my pass coverage ratings. I see that I am a better at man-to-man coverage (31) than zone (21). **** me sideways with a lunchbox. Where did these scores even come from? How much time is spent coming up with the pass coverage ratings of offensive lineman? Can I have that job? Let’s see here, I think that Orlando Pace would be slightly better at jumping intermediate routes than Larry Allen. While I’m at it, I can assign the passing ratings for offensive lineman as well. I can use mine as a guide.
I was rated with a throwing power of 17 and accuracy of 16. Orlando Pace is has a 22 power and 17 accuracy rating. Did someone at EA really put time into figuring out that Orlando Pace edges out Ethan Albright in both throwing power and accuracy? I will challenge him any day. My horrible passer ratings are of greatest misfortune to my son, Red Beard Jr. The poor boy is not only hideously ugly and covered by freakishly large freckles. He also has to suffer through playing catch with me and my senile-elderly-woman-type passer ratings. A session of tossing the pigskin usually consists of me missing my son by thirty yards in sporadic directions. I led him in front of a fire truck once and my wife kicked my ***. This is because of my 76 toughness rating. Yes, a 76 is far better than the other ratings, but I’m a ****ing lineman, damn it. NFL Linemen are considered to be synonymous with toughness. According to your game, I am a ********, uncoordinated, *****-*** ****wad that can’t fall on a kickoff, throw, or spell. I am, however, slightly better at manning up on a receiver than dropping into zone coverage. You lose your mind more and more each year, old man.
**** you, John. Please expect to find red pubes in various meals you consume for the rest of your life. If you **** with Ethan Albright, you call down the thunder.
Rot in Hell,
Ethan AlbrightComment
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Final Madden NFL 16 Roster Update Available Now - Details & Spreadsheet (2-11...
Didn't you mention at some point, overall rating on your site isn't always factored by the individual ratings?
Sent from my iPhone using TapatalkHieroglyphics 3rd Eye Vision '98- You never knewComment
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Re: Final Madden NFL 16 Roster Update Available Now - Details & Spreadsheet
The most important ratings are the attributes. We have to publish an OVR because EA uses one, albeit an OVR that does not match the source data 1:1. So, a happy medium is reached between the desired OVR based solely upon the attributes and the OVR that is derived by EA's formulas.Dan B.
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Re: Final Madden NFL 16 Roster Update Available Now - Details & Spreadsheet (2-11-16)
That usually gets them off my back.Dan B.
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Re: Final Madden NFL 16 Roster Update Available Now - Details & Spreadsheet (2-11-16)
I can only imagine. I have already gotten emails from real players upset with their grades on my site. My standard response is that these are scouting grades, so my advice is to become a better player if they don't like their grades.
That usually gets them off my back.
Who were said players??? I'm genuinely intrigued...
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Dan B.
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Please take note that most of what I say and post is made in satire.
Follow me on twitter @Equipment_GuruComment
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Dan B.
Player Ratings Administrator
www.fbgratings.com/members
NFL Scout
www.nfldraftscout.com/members
Petition to EA for FBG Ratings:
https://www.change.org/p/ea-sports-t...bers-index-phpComment
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Re: Final Madden NFL 16 Roster Update Available Now - Details & Spreadsheet (2-11-16)
I can only imagine. I have already gotten emails from real players upset with their grades on my site. My standard response is that these are scouting grades, so my advice is to become a better player if they don't like their grades.
That usually gets them off my back.
I've always found it funny that some players are genuinely concerned about their overall ratings in video games. As an NFL player, they have got a ton on their plate and just to think how a meaningless overall rating can tick them off...
I know you can't disclose who emailed you, but if Vince Wilfork and Ted Washington show up together to your place one day knocking on your door, bothered by their ratings, you're screwed.
Sent from my iPhone using TapatalkHieroglyphics 3rd Eye Vision '98- You never knewComment
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Re: Final Madden NFL 16 Roster Update Available Now - Details & Spreadsheet (2-11-16)
So i might have missed this and my bad if ihave but is this the final seasons end roster?? Meaning are all IR players added back to starting lines ups.Comment
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Re: Final Madden NFL 16 Roster Update Available Now - Details & Spreadsheet (2-11-16)
I've always found it funny that some players are genuinely concerned about their overall ratings in video games. As an NFL player, they have got a ton on their plate and just to think how a meaningless overall rating can tick them off...
I know you can't disclose who emailed you, but if Vince Wilfork and Ted Washington show up together to your place one day knocking on your door, bothered by their ratings, you're screwed.
All levity aside, my usual response is enough to get most to either forget about it or attempt to understand. Imagine you were used to being told you are the best thing ever since 8th grade. It's no wonder some of these egos are huge. Maybe EA NEEDS to inflate those ratings to match. I think that trend will never be broken, so those wanting a true simulation will have to look elsewhere.
It's coming...Dan B.
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Re: Final Madden NFL 16 Roster Update Available Now - Details & Spreadsheet (2-11-16)
Well, good thing I have a CCW permit in case they start trouble.
All levity aside, my usual response is enough to get most to either forget about it or attempt to understand. Imagine you were used to being told you are the best thing ever since 8th grade. It's no wonder some of these egos are huge. Maybe EA NEEDS to inflate those ratings to match. I think that trend will never be broken, so those wanting a true simulation will have to look elsewhere.
It's coming...Comment
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