Youth sports: the good, bad and ugly

[GritSnSpeed]

As a "young dad" (29) with two very young sons, I was hoping to draw on the Vets of OS to help me avoid some pitfalls that they experienced, whether it was as a father or a player in different youth leagues.

My oldest son is 5. He played football last Summer and Fall. Flag then tackle. I helped coach his pee wee team. We just got him all set up for Tee Ball a few week ago and he had his first practice a couple nights ago. Heard good things about his coach, practice went pretty smooth and he had a blast. He was very nervous and apprehensive beforehand, but after he was on the field he was right at home. He's a big kid, around 75-80lbs. Not fat, but very thick and broad. Not very fast but is a bull and has a ton of energy and is very smart. Picks up on things real well.(enough dad bragging)

What should I avoid as he grows and continues on. What should I invest in with him to help? I never played Baseball as a kid, at least not in any organized fashion (my dad found it boring, lol)

Any and all info and input is appreciated.

[redsox4evur]

Re: Youth sports: the good, bad and ugly

This should be a no-brainer but don't give officials, especially in Little League, any crap. Most of these umpires are only HS kids looking to make some extra spending money and don't want to work at the local grocery store. They usually are only 13 or older and probably don't have a grip on the rules completely. Hell I have been umpiring for 7 or 8 years and don't even know all the rules.

[GritSnSpeed]

Re: Youth sports: the good, bad and ugly

I did it with a buddy once as a side job. There were more than a few idiot parents in the stands. More than once I thought I would have to fight my way to the truck from the concession stand after a game.


Gettin Yune wit it!

[SuperBowlNachos]

Re: Youth sports: the good, bad and ugly

Good advice on the umpire stuff. My dad has umpired for years and years, and I did score and stat keeping for the local league for years. The umpire isn't intentionally trying to screw anyone out of the game. The really could not care less who wins. Everyone likes to yell at the ump, but I saw him stop the game and throw parents out when they cursed (parents paying way too much for select softball are really unhappy people). Also, if there is an official scoreboard and stat guy, don't talk to him. Keep your own stats if you really want to know. Ask the coach, to ask the umpire, to ask the score guy if you have a concern about anything. It's up to your coach to notice any lineup issues with the other team.

Parenting advice from someone in there mid 20s with no kids -_- ... Don't force him to play anything he doesn't want to. Give him the chance to try every sport, not just the baseball and football.

[roadman]

Re: Youth sports: the good, bad and ugly

Yeah, I agree, let them try every sport there is a interest in. The idea is to offer them a smorgasbord at a younger age, and by the time high school rolls around, they should be narrowing it down to 1 or 2.

Parents are the worst fans around. Our kids played a lot of soccer and my wife would set up her chair 30 yds away from both teams parents, almost level with the goal keeper. She didn't hear the idiot comments that were coming from the parent section.

I recall one soccer tournment and one of our players unintentionally collided with another player from the other team and he became injured and they had to take him out. The next time our player ran down the field, one of the other teams parents yelled out, Take him out.

Huh? I looked at him and said, that is what you teach your kids?

Our sons quit reffing soccer because they hated the parents yelling from the sidelines. I recall helping ump our kids machine pitch team. I was helping ump first base and our coach always told me if there is any close calls, call the other team safe. So, I did that once and a grand parent yelled out to me, you better check your eyes ump. I said, I call them the way I see them.

[Speedy]

Re: Youth sports: the good, bad and ugly

If your kid is really good at pitching, do not allow the coach to overuse him. Granted, it's been in travel ball but I've seen too many parents allow their kids to get abused by pitching too much and wind up needing Tommy John Surgery by age 15.

I do think the more interest you show in it and helping him, the more both of you can grow/learn together. My grandpa loved baseball and would take time when I was 7-8 years old to help me batting, fielding, pitching...the more interest he showed in me, the more I took the time on my own to get better. I was a goofy, tiny white kid with no athleticism but I loved to play. I remember when I got to around age 10, a kid was tagging at 3B and running home and I threw him out from deep CF for the last play of the game. My grandpa was running to the ump to get that ball.

Bottom line is that I wouldn't leave it up to the coaches to teach your son...the more you invest and take time to teach him (maybe even learning yourself too), the better it'll be for you both.

Not saying I've arrived or have apprehended...just my $.02.

[Jr.]

Re: Youth sports: the good, bad and ugly

Keep it fun for them. Learning is a big part of playing a sport early on, but if it becomes too frustrating, the kid won't want to continue playing. I played rec ball up until high school and had a blast because it was with all of my friends around where I lived. Travel ball has it's pros and cons (mostly cons in my mind, despite coaching a travel team in the Summers), but you really don't need to worry about that path for a long time.

I disagree a bit with Roadman about narrowing down the sports in high school. I am a big proponent of maintaining as many sports as possible throughout high school. It develops athleticism greatly and typically the athlete will be more resistant to burnout. If your kid wants to choose 1 or 2 sports by then, then great. But if they want to keep playing one sport in the Fall, another in the Winter, another in the Spring, then something else in the Summer, I say let them. Most of the best athletes I've seen and scouted were multi-sport athletes.

Now, as a former youth coach, the worst part is almost always the parents. Just keep in mind that your kid isn't going to get a college scholarship by winning a youth tournament, and try to stay away from teams who are loaded with parents that do think that way, and you'll be alright.

[PVarck31]

Re: Youth sports: the good, bad and ugly

YES X1000 on the Umps and officials. I used to be a high school umpire for a short time and it was brutal. I was thrust into varsity baseball my first year so I was doing some big games. One game in particular pretty much made me quit. I was working the plate on a Saturday morning game with two really good teams and there were some parents and kids right behind the backstop who were just horrible to me. Every strike I called I would get "oh come on that's bull****" Then it started to get personal as they were saying I ****ing sucked and how did I get this job and the other team was paying me and so on.

It got even worse when the home teams coach started getting on me pretty bad. Almost every call he was yelling at me. I told him to cool off and he then reminded me that he played in the minors so I need to watch out....

All the while my partner, who was a veteran umpire did nothing to help the situation at all. I got to a point where I was starting to get nervous and doubting every call. (I was told I was put into varsity games because I was very good)

At this point I had to tell some of the people behind the backstop to move because they started calling me a ****ing *******.

It was a double header so after the first game I was walking to my car to meet my wife who brought me lunch and some kids dad came up to me and told me if I call his kid out on strikes again he was gonna ****ing kill me because his kid is going pro.

I quit after that game. All of the crap and then to have my life threatened wasn't worth it. It's too bad because I loved doing it and was good at it.

[djp73]

Re: Youth sports: the good, bad and ugly

i don't have kids but i have coached youth basketball, baseball and football. one thing i cant stress enough is to not yell at the coaches or question their calls during a game or practice. this shows your kid that he/she doesn't really have to listen to the coach.

if you have a suggestion or concern talk to the coach privately after the game.

personally when i coached i always welcomed input from parents in this manner. most times i was able to see their point and implement some or all of what they said. otherwise i was able to explain to them why i did it my way and we came to a mutual understanding.

[roadman]

Re: Youth sports: the good, bad and ugly

I disagree a bit with Roadman about narrowing down the sports in high school. I am a big proponent of maintaining as many sports as possible throughout high school. It develops athleticism greatly and typically the athlete will be more resistant to burnout. If your kid wants to choose 1 or 2 sports by then, then great. But if they want to keep playing one sport in the Fall, another in the Winter, another in the Spring, then something else in the Summer, I say let them. Most of the best athletes I've seen and scouted were multi-sport athletes.

I agree if you excel at all three sports and enjoy all three sports, but, based on the high school our kids went to, there were fewer three sport athletes vs 1 or 2 sport athletes. I'm referring to the kids who don't go beyond high sports and play, just recreational after high school.

It also depends if they are active outside of sports, too. If they are in band, theater, working a part-time job, studies, etc...... If there isn't any interest outside of sports, then yeah, I agree.

[SuperBowlNachos]

Re: Youth sports: the good, bad and ugly

I disagree a bit with Roadman about narrowing down the sports in high school. I am a big proponent of maintaining as many sports as possible throughout high school. It develops athleticism greatly and typically the athlete will be more resistant to burnout. If your kid wants to choose 1 or 2 sports by then, then great. But if they want to keep playing one sport in the Fall, another in the Winter, another in the Spring, then something else in the Summer, I say let them. Most of the best athletes I've seen and scouted were multi-sport athletes.

Four seems impossible it unless it's 7 on 7 football in the summer to get ready for the real season.

[Money99]

Re: Youth sports: the good, bad and ugly

The fact that you've never played baseball will probably help with your sons development as a baseball player, and for his love of the game.
Because you don't have much experience in the sport you can't drive him crazy with X's and O's, or remind him what he did wrong.
(of course, there is the other type which, BECAUSE they never played, they want to live thru their kids eyes).

I love baseball and hockey. Way too many times, I give my boys crap for doing something wrong when playing either sport. At times, I know I'm THAT DAD. I try not to be, but I can't control myself all the time. It's something I try to work on.
Guess which sports my kids love the most? The ones I don't care about like soccer, basketball and golf.*
Why? Because I couldn't care less about those and I simply cheer them on and encourage them.
(* Not completely true. My youngest boy adores hockey. It's easily his favourite sport. But he was going to quit 2 years ago and I know the main reason was because I was his coach.
Then I decided not to coach anymore. I didn't enjoy it anymore and I hated how I was always harder on my son than the other kids.
The coach he's had the last two seasons is amazing. He's taken a liking to my son and has made him his go-to defenseman. Now my son can't get enough of the sport.
I'm convinced that if I had continued coaching him, he wouldn't be playing hockey now).

I try to remember that when they're playing baseball - my favourite sport.
They both really enjoy it and I want that to continue.
So now I try to simply play in the backyard and have fun with them when I can.
We've made up a fun little game of them vs me and they love it.

And I can't express backyard play enough. Especially for baseball. People think it's a simple game (hit, throw, catch). But there are many fine skills that need to be refined to be successful at the game. So simply getting them outside to throw and catch is huge. Something very few people seem to do these days.


Lastly, a study was recently done where dozens of college athletes were asked what they liked best about growing up in sports.

Most of them said they loved it when their grandparents watched them play. Why? Because grandparents never coached them or told them what they did wrong.
They simply showed up and cheered them on.
The report also showed that the best thing you can say to your kid before they step on the field/court/ice is to tell them you love them and you want them to have fun.
Don't give them pointers or advice or tell them how to play their position better, etc, etc.
Just a simple "I love you. Have fun".

Good luck!

[GritSnSpeed]

Re: Youth sports: the good, bad and ugly

I'm a huge baseball fan since about my senior year of High School. Just never played on a team. I'm a sports fanatic so I have to reel myself back in with trying to coach. Gotta remember he's only 5. Lol. Not a pro or even a teenager.

[AceAmy]

Re: Youth sports: the good, bad and ugly

I only wish I had a good enough eye for safe and out calls to be an umpire. Parents would get an earful if they mouthed off to me.

speaking of youth sports, is anyone out there actually contemplating putting their children in football? Seems like anyone I know is staying far faaar away from football and for good reason. Seems as though football in 15 years will start to die, and honestly for good reason. I love watching it but its a bad thing to do humanity wise.

[PVarck31]

Re: Youth sports: the good, bad and ugly

I only wish I had a good enough eye for safe and out calls to be an umpire. Parents would get an earful if they mouthed off to me.

speaking of youth sports, is anyone out there actually contemplating putting their children in football? Seems like anyone I know is staying far faaar away from football and for good reason. Seems as though football in 15 years will start to die, and honestly for good reason. I love watching it but its a bad thing to do humanity wise.

Can't really do that on the high school level. I worked for the Ohio High School Athletic Association and had to be a good representative for them. But believe me, some parents deserve to be put in their place. I feel bad for their kids.