Arsenal Football Club
ARSENAL HIRE NEW BOSS
LONDON -- Arsène Wenger is out at The Emirates. Enter 30 year old Australian-American Josh Hedges. With little to no experience in the world of managing a football club, Hedges brings his charismatic leadership style to North London in hopes of restoring glory to the Gooner Faithful, and winning a Premier League title, and making some serious noise across Europe.
"Look, I understand people see my youth as an issue, but I promise I will bring my passion to this club and stop at nothing in order to obtain the titles that Arsenal fans so desperately crave. We’ve made some noise in the transfer window this summer, bringing in Mustafi in defense, Xhaka in midfield, and Lucas up top to help Giroud. We have quality—and depth at every position, and I plan on making every player at this club earn their time on the pitch. A lot of you compare my style to that of Jürgen Klopp. To be mentioned in the same breath as him is an honor—one I’m not sure I’m ready for. I guess we will see when we meet on opening day. I cannot wait to lead these blokes in battle this season. I have extremely large shoes to fill from AW—but I am ready for the challenge, and eagerly anticipate the day to day on goings at this club. We WILL win England, and we WILL win Europe. It's only a matter of time."