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Old 06-01-2019, 03:26 PM   #1
IBMA
Rookie
 
OVR: 0
Join Date: Jul 2018
Let's Go Craws! An Impossible Rhode Island Tech Dynasty

This rebuild will be fun (sarcasm alert). It’s derived from BlackJackXXI Sports YouTube/Twitch series where he basically made an impossible rebuild for himself with the Festivus College Jokers. He has many house rules and a terrible starting team that results in YEARS of misery from his team. I have modified some house rules and made up some of my own.

I’ve also taken from his book and renamed every single player to some type of funny or ironic name. As for the recruits coming in for years to come you guys will have a chance to have your very own player. More on that later in the season.

As for the house rules, here they are:
Scheduling:
Until I reach three star prestige I must schedule five preseason top twenty five opponents and have a Strength of Schedule of at least an A.
Once I reach three star prestige I only need to play three preseason top twenty five opponents and have a Strength of Schedule of at least a B+.

Recruiting:
I can only recruit at my prestige level or lower.
I can only recruit JUCOs who are interested in me before targeting them until I get to a two star prestige.
(Made prior to Season Three): I can go after three JUCOs not interested in us originally throughout the year.

Coaching:
If my coach gets fired I must make a new coach to take over at the school. The coach progression rating is set at slow, so recruiting will be extremely hard each year because of this rule.
While in a game, if I go down by twenty five plus points I have to sim the rest of the game.
(Made prior to Season Three): My head coach only has to take another head coaching job if they are a prestige higher than us.

Now it’s time to meet your Rhode Island Tech Crawfish (With proper pronunciations as well):
QB:
66 OVR (RS) FR #3 Kingsly Harbord - QB/1 (Kings-Lee, Harbored)
64 OVR SO #10 Vincent Lemawnoper - QB/2 (Lemon-‘Nope’ with ‘R’ sound at end)
63 OVR (RS) FR #6 Olivieren Winkersonsman - QB/3 (‘O’-’Live’ like 'Live in a house'-’E’-Air-‘En’ like ‘Send’, Wink-‘er’ like ‘Her’-suns-man)
RB:
68 OVR JR #22 Axel Rod - RB/1
64 OVR(RS) SR #35 Chet Dreedo - RB/2 (Read with ’D’ at beginning and ‘O’ at end)
63 OVR (RS) SO #5 Berevian Cinculous - RB/3 (‘Ber’ like ‘Her’-E-V-‘En’ like ‘Enter’,Seen-Q-‘Lust’ without the ‘T’ sound)
56 OVR SO #24 Pikaroo Oofsey - RB/4 (Pick-Uh-Roo, Oof+See)
53 OVR FR #33 Manahewey YoYo Jr. - RB/5 (‘Man’ like the Spanish word ‘Mano’-‘E’ like ‘shed’-Hue-E)
FB:
61 OVR SR #38 Hambel Jibilator - FB (Ham-Bell, ‘Jib’ like ‘Jif’-Ill-Ate-Or)
WR:
61 OVR SR #81 Newman Triffler - WR/1 (Try-‘Flurry’ without the ‘Y’)
60 OVR SR #13 Jingle Jangle - WR/2
59 OVR JR #83 Xavionathon Cortacious - WR/3 (Zavion-Uh-’Thon’ like ’Thunder’, Core-Tay-Sh-Us)
59 OVR SR #18 Thischick Coo - WR/4 (This-chick, ‘Cool’ without the ‘L’)
59 OVR SO #1 Stryphing Adamsmanson - WR/5 (Str-Eye-Fing)
57 OVR SR #2 Engredipus Derellie - WR/6 (‘En’ like ‘Enter’-Gr-Ed-‘I’ like ‘Igloo’-’Pus’ like ‘Platypus’, Duh-‘Re’ like ‘Read’-Lee)
56 OVR (RS) SO #82 St. John Allenfrod - WR/7 (Allen-Fraud)
55 OVR (RS) FR #8 Jaether Fortuition - WR/8 (Jay-Th-‘Er’ like ‘Her’, For+Tuition)
55 OVR (RS) JR #13 Senator Adersons - WR/9 (Ad-‘Er’ like ‘Her’-Sons)
TE:
65 OVR (RS) SR #88 Howard G. Pepperoni - TE/1
55 OVR JR #85 Ipsy Graperpaper - TE/2 ‘Ip’ like ‘If’-See, Grape-‘Er’ like ‘Her’-Paper)
51 OVR FR #89 Kawhis Laugh - TE/3 (‘Kawhi’s’ like ‘Kawhi’ Leonard)
LT:
65 OVR (RS) SR #69 Ha Lol - LT/1 (Sounds like how you would text it)
57 OVR (RS) SO #59 Torbulan Edathion - LT/2 (Tore-‘Blue’ without the ‘L’ sound-‘Land’ without the ‘D’ sound, Ed-A-Th-E-‘On’ like ‘Son’)
54 OVR (RS) FR Iolapen Kiwiwi - LT/3 (I-O-Lap-‘En’ like ‘End’, Kiwi plus an extra ‘wi’)
LG:
61 OVR SR #72 Harold Biggumsman - LG/1 (Big-Ums-Man)
58 OVR (RS) SO #74 Heteritaria Forebois - LG/2 (‘He’ like ‘Hen’-‘Ter’ like ’inter’-‘I’ like ‘Igloo’-‘Tear’ like ‘Tear out hair’-E-Uh, For-Boi; the ‘S’ is silent)
C:
65 OVR JR #65 Captain Jiggyigyigy - C/1
56 OVR (RS) SO #63 Brosephine Jones - C/2 (Bro-‘Said’ without the ‘D’ sound-Ph-‘En’ like Lean’)
RG:
54 OVR SO #79 Gregacious Fartacious - RG/1 (Greg-A-Sh-Us, Fart-A-Sh-Us)
53 OVR FR #62 Aviato Taco - RG/2 (The sound you make when you scream-V-Auto)
RT:
65 OVR JR #68 Charquitric Gragers - RT/1 (Char-Qu-’I’ like ‘Igloo’-Trick, ‘Rag’ with ‘G’ in front-Ers like ‘Thunders’)
65 OVR (RS) SO #67 Frosty D. Snowman - RT/2
53 OVR SO #77 Ostrich Blupper - RT/3 (Bl-’U’ like ‘Up’-Per)
LE:
66 OVR SR #96 Yb Gnathl - LE/1 (‘Ib’ like ‘Bib’, ‘Nath’ like ‘Nash’ but with a ‘th’ sound instead of a ‘sh’ sound; the ‘G’ and ‘L’ are silent)
56 OVR SO #95 Portianale Scandinavio - LE/2 (Portion-Ale, Scan-Din-A-V-O)
54 OVR SR #55 Dafoil Narcot - LE/3 (Duh-Foil, ‘Nar’ like ‘Narcissist’-ko; The ‘t’ is silent)
RE:
68 OVR SO #90 Borous Chincky - RE/1 (Bore-Us, Ch-Ink-E)
66 OVR (RS) SR #93 Freciomar Damubig - RE/2 (Free-C-O-Mar, Dam-You-Big)
64 OVR (RS) JR #54 Veruvio Juwaan - RE/3 (‘Ver’ like ‘Per’-’U’ like ‘Blue’-V-O, ‘Ju’ like ‘Jew’-’Wan’ like ‘Juan’)
DT:
63 OVR SO #97 Hinsickle Albatraz - DT/1 (‘Him’ with ‘N’ instead of ‘M’-Sickle, Just sound out last name.)
62 OVR (RS) SO #99 Thicwandras Buttandro - DT/2 (Thick-‘Wan’ like ’Wander’-Dr-Us, Butt-’Un’ like Thunder’-Dr-O)
58 OVR SO #98 Zeebo Supreme - DT/3 (Z-Bow)
57 OVR JR #66 Slaftro Zorkele - DT/4 (‘Slaf’ like ‘Slab’-‘tro’ like ‘intro’, ‘Snorkel’ but with a ‘Z’ sound instead of a ‘Sn’ sound)
53 OVR (RS) FR #92 Rinlein Roadae - DT/5 (‘Rin’ like ‘Erin’-Lane, Row+Day)
LOLB:
69 OVR JR #58 Wannamaker Mine - LOLB/1 (‘Wan’ like ‘Wander’-Uh-Make-’ur’ like ‘Burrow’)
67 OVR SO #53 Drolexander Kreaman - LOLB/2 (Dr-All-‘Exander’ like ‘Alexander’, Cr-E-Man)
59 OVR (RS) SO #49 Jamengro Platyproton - LOLB/3 (Juh-Men-Grow, ‘Platy’ like ‘Platypus’-Proton)
59 OVR (RS) FR #47 Talley Sungorden - LOLB/4 (Tally, Sung-Or-Den)
MLB:
62 OVR SR #56 Firehydrant Larry - MLB/1
61 OVR FR #50 Ronsono Owowo - MLB/2 (Ron-Sun-O, O-Woah-Woah)
61 OVR JR #57 Hobele Yeppers - LB/MLB/3 (Hoe-Be-Lee, ‘Yep’ like in a text-’ers’ like ‘Thunders’)
ROLB:
65 OVR (RS) JR #61 R’Kala Yobie - ROLB/1 (Are-Call-Uh, Yo-Be)
59 OVR SO #51 Prongo Quackenduck - ROLB/2 (Sound out the first name, Quack-‘En’ like ‘Enter’-Duck)
58 OVR (RS) FR #42 Theorety Plazey - ROLB/3 (Th-E-O-‘Re’ like ‘Red’-Tee, Pl-‘Aw’ like ‘Claw’-Z)
57 OVR (RS) FR #45 Hitt DeQuan - ROLB/4 (Hit, D-Quan)
CB:
57 OVR SR #11 Salamander Feendoor - CB/1 (Fiend+door)
54 OVR (RS) SR #21 Lonko Friscalion - CB/2 (Lonzo but ‘K’ instead of ‘Z’, Frisk-Alley-’un’ like ’Thunder’)
54 OVR (RS) SR #25 Indigo Farquacia - CB/3 (Far-Qu-Aye-Sh-Uh)
52 OVR FR #29 Inckling Spotch - CB/4 (Ink-Ling, ‘Spotch’ like ‘Botch’ but with a ‘Sp’ sound instead of ‘B’)
52 OVR SO #26 Trecio Jordan - CB/5 (Tree-C-O)
51 OVR (RS) SR #28 Ofrencic Hynister - CB/6 (Off-’Ren’ like ‘Hen’-Sick, ‘Hin’ like ‘Sin’-Is-’Ter’ like ‘Her)
FS:
68 OVR JR #32 Yoinkers McGee - FS/1 (’Oink’ with a ’Y’ sound in front-’Her’s’ without the ’H’)
67 OVR JR #37 Dresmand Koala - FS/2 (Desmond with an ‘R’)
60 OVR FR #20 Tricer Deviano - SS/3 (Try-‘Her’ but with a ‘C’ instead of an ‘H’, Dev-E-On-O)
SS:
62 OVR JR #39 Fredrick Appletone XII - SS/1 (Fred+Rick, Apple-Ton)
53 OVR FR #9 Phlackalen Giorgion - SS/2 (Flack-uh-’len’ like Alex Len, Gee-Or-Gee-‘Un’ like ‘Thunder’)
K:
72 OVR (RS) SO #94 John Johnson - K/1
P:
74 OVR (RS) SO #91 Wally Marty - P/1 (Wall Mart with ‘Y’ sound at end of both)

If there are any questions about the pronunciations, or if you have suggestions, let me know. If you’re excited, then let’s get it!

Week Two at #4 Wisconsin: Sunday
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Let's Go Craws! An Impossible Rhode Island Tech Dynasty

Last edited by IBMA; 07-22-2019 at 08:12 PM.
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