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Old 09-10-2019, 01:12 PM   #78
scottsen11
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Join Date: Jul 2019
Re: If You Could Resurrect One Sports Game Series (Roundtable)

Let me explain how this plays out.

God: “Let’s play a game. If you win, you get resurrected. If I win, I send you to hell.” (I am definitely not Heaven material.)

Me: “Alright, God. How about three challenges of Simon Says? If you can do everything I ask, you win. If I stump you, I win and you bring me back to life. This child’s game should be a piece of cake for you.”

God: “ I am omnipotent. You cannot stump me. Let’s play.”

Me: “Alright, game on. First thing… Simon Says lick your elbow.”

God: “ I am God. Physical drawbacks for mortals are no match for me.” *God sticks his tongue out of his mouth and it grows exponentially until it touches his elbow, without him even lifting his arm.*

Me: “Holy ****.”

God: “Done.” Proceeds to crap on the cloud we’re standing on.

Me: “No, no, no! I was just impressed was all.”

God: “That’s two challenges. No arguing. I’m God.”

Me: “What?! Ughhh, fine. Last chance for me so I guess I’ll pull out all the stops. Simon Says… Resurrect me.”

God: “Done.”

I go to In-and-Out for a Double-Double Animal Style.

It’s a win-win.
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