There's a mod for Madden 20(?) on here that enables realism for QB scrambling and things like that. For the most part it's just Madden CPU AI, not really football AI but there hasn't been a game with football AI made at the moment.
You still need to control a player on defense.
Maddens CPU playcalling and management AI are generalized to simulate real stats. So no, not realistic. Punts on 4th and inches and things of that nature.
NFL Head Coach 09 has all the things you've asked for though on the other hand. I know you said you weren't interested in the day to day HC work, but only 06 had the tedious practices. 09 just has 3 menus that pop up weekly and you choose which practices your team simulates. (Focus on stooping the run, master specific plays, gameplay against certain players or pass vs run game, etc.) The "week" takes about 2-5mins depending on if there's someone who wants to negotiate their contract.
For coach mode, HC09 deebo's Madden every time. The graphics arent as good, sometimes people think the AI is broken because of the complexity of it, and there's some straight up mishaps like Madden has (not on the same level though).