Raw 8/26/13: You're a B+

[Bellsprout]

I, for one, can't wait to see how Stone Cold Daniel Bryan gets his revenge on the Corporation this week. Past history suggests that dressing up as a doctor and then clubbing Vince in the head with a bedpan while he's helpless works, so there's that. Not sure how he'd fit all that beard into a surgical mask, but all the better.

It's Dr. Goatfacé, dammit.

ElsewhTHE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPH HAS BEEN CUT SHORT DUE TO SIN CARA INJURY. PROCEED TO THE NEXT ONE.

Real Americans and #MILLIONSOFDOLLARS began a feud last week probably. That doesn't have the potential to be all kinds of awkward for everyone involved and probably get Zeb fired when he crosses the Abraham Washington Kobe Bryant Joke Memorial Line Of Offensiveness. That said, if done right that feud could actually be all sorts of brilliant and here's hoping that it is because it could help everyone involved.

The Punk/Heyman/Axel/Fat Guy in the Front Row love quadrangle continues. I'm rooting for Punk and the Fat Guy. I hope those crazy kids work it out. You know who yells at each other like that? Couples. Who are in love. God, this is such a romcom.

The Miz is *FANDANGO AND SUMMER RAE DANCE INTO THIS PARAGRAPH*

Two Total Divas pinned the Divas champion and ragamuffin of my heart AJ's team last week to pick up that win. It's only so long before they take the belt and give it to one of them because you can't fight synergy Lemon, it's bigger than all of us.

You also can't fight herpes. And I've just... I've got a feeling about those Bellas. They're unseemly. Watch yourselves, Johnny and Daniel. The only thing worse than that is having to sit through one of their segments on television.

Ahora feudo con el Campeón Mundial de Peso Pesado, damas y caballeros, les presento MISTER LUNES POR LA NOCHE, ROB! VAN! DAM!

I don't really know how to end this post.

*SHIELD ATTACK*

Colt Cabana.

[Ice_Cold345]

So, basically, what you are saying is that Punk and Heyman are Jeff and Britta and the fat guy is Leonard? Not sure who Axel is, probably Pierce, trying to be cool and fit in with the group but never can.

[AUChase]

Liked for the 30 Rock quote, but the whole thing is good.

[almostbobsaget]

I kind of hope the Shield attacks continue on any anti McMarton H wrestler.

[rdnk]

Quote: Originally Posted by Dayman

It's Dr. Goatfacé, dammit.

[almostbobsaget]

No, no, no, no, no Lilian.

It's Gooooooooooooooooooatfaaaaaaaaaacéééééééééééééé.

[almostbobsaget]

Why are people cheering Triple H? Casual fans, psht.

[Bellsprout]

I don't know why Ambrose looks less badass standing there than the other two, but he does.