Life really sucks sometimes (R.I.P., Gavin and Seth)

gottimd · 07-25-2008, 08:23 AM

So my wife and I have been married for 3 years and dated for 10 years. We finally got pregnant after we knew it was time that we wanted to start a family. Both sides were extremely happy and everyone was making all of these plans and preparations and then BAM....

My wife goes into labor last thursday afternoon at 22 weeks and 2 days pregnant. I've been posting on the NAFL board each day but I wanted to finally vent here as well. It was something undetected, something no one can diagnose until it actually happens. An incompetent cervix. Her cervix just started to dialate way too early, and it was nothing anyone did. So she was rushed to the Labor and Delivery ward, and to "halt" the delivery, they put her on a Magnesium drip, had her at an incline tilted towards her head. It was too late for a cerclage because the amniotic sac had breached the cervix. So we waited, minute by minute while my wife was on bed rest and couldn't move on the most horrible medicine you can give to a pregnant woman as she periodically bled. She showed incredible strength and I didn't leave her side for an entire week, and she stayed pregnant until the 23rd week, where our baby would have a very slim chance of survival. He was born at 9:19PM on July 22nd. Pink skin, good heart beat, and breathing well, and 1.5 pounds. However he had to be rushed to NICU because of his age.

So he has been there since, in an incubator hooked up to various things, like a science experiment. It has been extremely tough for us as we watch our son fighting for his life and we can't do anything for him. My wife keeps blaming herself. His potassium level is too high at the moment and he had a low pulse. They were giving him dopamine to even out the pulse. He got worse last night, then better. Then we got a call at 6am this morning from NICU, saying he has had a rough morning. His potassium went back up and his oxygen level is at 100%. This has been the biggest test of our marriage. We fought to give him a chance at life which was very tough, now we have to sit back and possibly watch the inevitable happen. Both of us our so emotionally worn down, and I don't think we have anymore tears left. He continues to fight and everyone continues to pray.

My only hope is that he can turn it around this morning and bounce back. He is now only 2.5 days old.

wade moore · 07-25-2008, 08:26 AM

My prayers are with you and your family. I can't imagine how difficult this is.

Eaglesfan27 · 07-25-2008, 08:29 AM

My prayers are with you and your family as well. My wife and I have been trying to have a baby for the last year or so and we've had an early miscarriage already. It's been one of the most stressful things we've ever faced individually or as a couple and I can only imagine how much worse it must be to be facing this type of struggle at 22-23 weeks.

PackerFanatic · 07-25-2008, 08:33 AM

Being a dad now, I can't even imagine what you guys are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you all and I hope everything works out for the best.

cuervo72 · 07-25-2008, 08:35 AM

Thoughts and prayers, gotti.

MacroGuru · 07-25-2008, 08:41 AM

My prayers and thoughts are there for you and the little one, poetry always helps me get through the rough times and I know what your going through, this little poem is touching and may help....it's one of my favorites, I have given it to my wife framed..

Quote:

A Newborn's Conversation with God

A baby asked God, 'They tell me you are
sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to
live there being so small and helpless?' God said,
'Your angel will be waiting for you and will take
care of you.'

The child further inquired, 'But tell me, here in
heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and
smile to be happy.' God said, 'Your angel will sing
for you and will also smile for you . And you will
feel your angel's love and be very happy.'

Again the child asked, 'And how am I going to be
able to understand when people talk to me if I don't
know the language?' God said, 'Your angel will tell
you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and
with much patience and care, your angel will teach
you how to speak.'

'And what am I going to do when I want to talk to
you?' God said, 'Your angel will place your hands
together and will teach you how to pray.'

'Who will protect me?' God said, 'Your angel will
defend you even if it means risking its life.'

'But I will always be sad because I will not see
you anymore.' God said, 'Your angel will always
talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to
come back to Me, even though I will always be next
to you.'

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but
voices from Earth could be heard and the child
hurriedly asked, 'God, if I am to leave now, please
tell me my angel's name.'

God said, 'You will simply call her, 'Mom.'

Fidatelo · 07-25-2008, 08:44 AM

Having gone through a couple of miscarriages, I can only imagine a small portion of your pain. I really hope things work out.

Honolulu_Blue · 07-25-2008, 08:50 AM

Good luck to you, your wife, and the baby. Hang in there.

clemsonfan · 07-25-2008, 08:51 AM

I'm so sorry. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Maple Leafs · 07-25-2008, 08:53 AM

Best wishes to you and your family.

TroyF · 07-25-2008, 09:12 AM

thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Huckleberry · 07-25-2008, 09:15 AM

Thoughts are with you.

Neon_Chaos · 07-25-2008, 09:20 AM

Hang in there. Things have a way of working themselves out. I hope everything turns out the best for you and your family.

QuikSand · 07-25-2008, 09:26 AM

Very, very sorry to hear... hoping for the best, and for you both to remain strong.

Swaggs · 07-25-2008, 09:27 AM

Thoughts are with you.

spleen1015 · 07-25-2008, 09:47 AM

Best wishes. Having been pregnant 5 times and only having 1 kid to show for it, I can imagine how you feel.

Telle · 07-25-2008, 09:49 AM

My thoughts are with you.

saldana · 07-25-2008, 09:50 AM

cant even imagine how you feel...you have all my thoughts and prayers for your family

gottimd · 07-25-2008, 09:51 AM

I apologize to those who I may be bringing up bad memories for, but I just wanted to share this story as it happens to sort of vent to the public.

They are taking him off the ventilator, and his morning has already been rough so I hope he can fight through this stage. His potassium remains high, but he has gotten it down before. When they say they are taking him off the ventilator, before I did research, that sounded like "We are pulling the plug". But they have to take him off of it so he doesn't become dependant on it, among other issues.

Lathum · 07-25-2008, 09:52 AM

best wishes to you and your family.

CamEdwards · 07-25-2008, 09:54 AM

You're in my thoughts and prayers gottimd.

Kodos · 07-25-2008, 10:03 AM

Tough situation. I hope he pulls through. Sending good thoughts...

gkb · 07-25-2008, 10:08 AM

My wife and I will be praying for you and your family.

MrIllini · 07-25-2008, 10:13 AM

Strength to both your family and your little tyke.

King of New York · 07-25-2008, 10:15 AM

Hoping for the best for you and your family.

Subby · 07-25-2008, 10:16 AM

Hey man - hang in there. Sounds like you guys have done and are going all the right things here.

flere-imsaho · 07-25-2008, 10:18 AM

Good luck and best wishes - I can't imagine what that must be like to go through.

Lorena · 07-25-2008, 10:21 AM

Oh man, thoughts are with you gottimd.

How's your wife?

gottimd · 07-25-2008, 10:24 AM

We are both very emotionally drained. When one of us loses it, the other is there to comfort. Haven't heard anything from NICU yet, so I am hoping that things are getting better. Doctors were still doing rounds and we are about to leave soon.

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and sympathies. We need all of the support we can get, whether it be from people I have never met face to face or life long friends or family members.

Antmeister · 07-25-2008, 10:26 AM

I am hoping that in a couple months, you will be sharing the baby pics. When things are out of your control, it can really be maddening, but you will be amazed at how well hospitals do with premature births.

MizzouRah · 07-25-2008, 10:29 AM

You and your family will be in my prayers gottimd.

I couldn't even imagine what you and your wife have been through.

Marc Vaughan · 07-25-2008, 10:32 AM

Really sorry to hear you're going through this - hope he pulls through.

RomaGoth · 07-25-2008, 10:38 AM

Having three children and a fourth due in January, I can't even imagine how difficult this is for you and your wife. My thoughts and prayers are with you all and I expect some baby pics in the next few weeks.

RomaGoth · 07-25-2008, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacroGuru

My prayers and thoughts are there for you and the little one, poetry always helps me get through the rough times and I know what your going through, this little poem is touching and may help....it's one of my favorites, I have given it to my wife framed..

Is there a place I can get this poem, perhaps framed? My wife would love it.

path12 · 07-25-2008, 10:41 AM

Best wishes to you and your family. My thoughts are with you.

DanGarion · 07-25-2008, 10:54 AM

You all are in my thoughts...

oliegirl · 07-25-2008, 11:28 AM

Gotti, as everyone else has said, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry you are having to go through this.

CleBrownsfan · 07-25-2008, 11:34 AM

I'll be thinking of your family gottimd. I have a 5 month little girl and couldn't imagine what you are going through.

Close friends of mine had twins at 22 weeks - one was born 1.5 pounds and the other was only a pound. Now they are 10 months and are very healthy babies - keep the faith.

Macro: very touching poem - ty for sharing

Zelig · 07-25-2008, 11:58 AM

we are praying for you.

Celeval · 07-25-2008, 12:59 PM

Prayers. Good luck.

MacroGuru · 07-25-2008, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RomaGoth

Is there a place I can get this poem, perhaps framed? My wife would love it.

I had read it a long time ago and I found it one day in a small shop...I bet you can find it online framed somewhere, I will hunt it down for you...

Anthony · 07-25-2008, 01:15 PM

i don't want to repeat what others have already said, but it's certainly sad to hear. i'll hug my newborn extra tight when he wakes up. i'm sure your wife is trying to put on a brave face and is doing all she can, make sure you comfort her and praise her more than usual. at least your baby has a fighting chance, others don't even get that chance (ie, miscarriage).

tyketime · 07-25-2008, 03:57 PM

It's truly the most difficult thing in life to sit back and watch your child suffer or struggle knowing there is nothing you can do about.

My thoughts and prayers go out to your family and I hope your son stabilizes as soon as possible so you can enjoy the miracle you've created!

terpkristin · 07-25-2008, 04:46 PM

I'll be keeping your family in my thoughts. It sounds like a truly frightening roller coaster to be on, keep strong.

/tk

JeeberD · 07-25-2008, 04:57 PM

You know y'all are in my thoughts, gottimd...

SFL Cat · 07-25-2008, 05:24 PM

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

samifan24 · 07-25-2008, 06:34 PM

Your family is in my prayers.

gottimd · 07-25-2008, 07:45 PM

Bad news. The doctors gave us the MRI results. He has alot of brain hemmoraging. On a scale of 1-4, 4 being the worst, he has a 3 on one side and a 4 on the other. They said if he makes it past the weekend, there is an 80% of cerebral palsy or some other defect.

I am beyond pissed. He has fought so much and god is now in the process of taking my first born son from me. Our families are beyond devastated and our support system now needs a support system. I keep hoping that the 20% chance that he will pull through will come through but its hard. They talked to us about essentially a DNR if it gets that bad over the weekend.

QuikSand · 07-25-2008, 07:54 PM

I'm so very sorry to hear... still hoping for the best for you all.

King of New York · 07-25-2008, 08:19 PM

I'm so sorry about that bad news.

Peace to you and your family.

07-25-2008, 08:29 AM	#3
Eaglesfan27 Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: New Jersey	My prayers are with you and your family as well. My wife and I have been trying to have a baby for the last year or so and we've had an early miscarriage already. It's been one of the most stressful things we've ever faced individually or as a couple and I can only imagine how much worse it must be to be facing this type of struggle at 22-23 weeks. __________________ Retired GM of the eNFL 2007 Super Bowl Champion Philadelphia Eagles (19-0 record.) GM of the WOOF 2006 Doggie Bowl Champion Atlantic City Gamblers. GM of the IHOF 2019 and 2022 IHOF Bowl Champion Asheville Axemen.

07-25-2008, 08:33 AM	#4
PackerFanatic Pro Starter Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Appleton, WI	Being a dad now, I can't even imagine what you guys are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you all and I hope everything works out for the best. __________________ Commissioner of the RNFL

07-25-2008, 08:35 AM	#5
cuervo72 Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Maryland	Thoughts and prayers, gotti. __________________ null

07-25-2008, 08:44 AM	#7
Fidatelo Pro Starter Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Winnipeg, MB	Having gone through a couple of miscarriages, I can only imagine a small portion of your pain. I really hope things work out. __________________ "Breakfast? Breakfast schmekfast, look at the score for God's sake. It's only the second period and I'm winning 12-2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, the Whale, they only beat Vancouver maybe once or twice in a lifetime."

07-25-2008, 08:50 AM	#8
Honolulu_Blue Hockey Boy Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Royal Oak, MI	Good luck to you, your wife, and the baby. Hang in there. __________________ *Steve Yzerman*: 1,755 points in 1,514 regular season games. 185 points in 196 postseason games. A First-Team All-Star, Conn Smythe Trophy winner, Selke Trophy winner, Masterton Trophy winner, member of the Hockey Hall of Fame, Olympic gold medallist, and a three-time Stanley Cup Champion. Longest serving captain of one team in the history of the NHL (19 seasons).

07-25-2008, 08:51 AM	#9
clemsonfan High School JV Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Dayton, OH	I'm so sorry. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

07-25-2008, 08:53 AM	#10
Maple Leafs Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2002	Best wishes to you and your family. __________________ Down Goes Brown: Toronto Maple Leafs Humor and Analysis

07-25-2008, 09:12 AM	#11
TroyF Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000	thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

07-25-2008, 09:15 AM	#12
Huckleberry College Starter Join Date: Dec 2001	Thoughts are with you. __________________ The one thing all your failed relationships have in common is you. The Barking Carnival (Longhorn-centered sports blog) College Football Adjusted Stats and Ratings

07-25-2008, 09:20 AM	#13
Neon_Chaos Pro Starter Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Parañaque, Philippines	Hang in there. Things have a way of working themselves out. I hope everything turns out the best for you and your family. __________________ Come and see.

07-25-2008, 09:26 AM	#14
QuikSand lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Annapolis, Md	Very, very sorry to hear... hoping for the best, and for you both to remain strong.

07-25-2008, 09:27 AM	#15
Swaggs Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000	Thoughts are with you. __________________ DOWN WITH HATTRICK!!! The RWBL Are you reading In The Bleachers?

07-25-2008, 09:47 AM	#16
spleen1015 Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2003	Best wishes. Having been pregnant 5 times and only having 1 kid to show for it, I can imagine how you feel.

07-25-2008, 09:49 AM	#17
Telle College Starter Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Buffalo, NY	My thoughts are with you.

07-25-2008, 09:50 AM	#18
saldana Pro Starter Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Bethlehem, Pa	cant even imagine how you feel...you have all my thoughts and prayers for your family

07-25-2008, 09:51 AM	#19
gottimd Dearly Missed (9/25/77-12/23/08) Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: DC Suburbs	I apologize to those who I may be bringing up bad memories for, but I just wanted to share this story as it happens to sort of vent to the public. They are taking him off the ventilator, and his morning has already been rough so I hope he can fight through this stage. His potassium remains high, but he has gotten it down before. When they say they are taking him off the ventilator, before I did research, that sounded like "We are pulling the plug". But they have to take him off of it so he doesn't become dependant on it, among other issues. __________________ NAFL New Orleans Saints GM/Co-Commish MP Career Record: 114-85 NAFL Super Bowl XI Champs In memory of Gavin Anthony: 7/22/08-7/26/08

07-25-2008, 09:52 AM	#20
Lathum Favored Bitch #1 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: homeless in NJ	best wishes to you and your family.

07-25-2008, 09:54 AM	#21
CamEdwards Stadium Announcer Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Burke, VA	You're in my thoughts and prayers gottimd. __________________ I don't want the world. I just want your half.

07-25-2008, 10:03 AM	#22
Kodos Resident Alien Join Date: Jun 2001	Tough situation. I hope he pulls through. Sending good thoughts... __________________ Author of The Bill Gates Challenge, as well as other groundbreaking dynasties.

07-25-2008, 10:08 AM	#23
gkb High School Varsity Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Colorado	My wife and I will be praying for you and your family. __________________ BALLERZ YO, fo shizzle. - QuikSand

07-25-2008, 10:13 AM	#24
MrIllini High School Varsity Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Where you live	Strength to both your family and your little tyke. __________________ if i said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

07-25-2008, 10:15 AM	#25
King of New York High School Varsity Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Edge of the Great Dismal Swamp	Hoping for the best for you and your family. __________________ Input A No Input

07-25-2008, 10:16 AM	#26
Subby lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: sans pants	Hey man - hang in there. Sounds like you guys have done and are going all the right things here. __________________ Superman was flying around and saw Wonder Woman getting a tan in the nude on her balcony. Superman said I going to hit that real fast. So he flys down toward Wonder Woman to hit it and their is a loud scream. The Invincible Man scream what just hit me in the ass!!!!! I do shit, I take pictures, I write about it: chrisshue.com

07-25-2008, 10:18 AM	#27
flere-imsaho Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Chicagoland	Good luck and best wishes - I can't imagine what that must be like to go through.

07-25-2008, 10:21 AM	#28
Lorena Unregistered Join Date: May 2004	Oh man, thoughts are with you gottimd. How's your wife?

07-25-2008, 10:24 AM	#29
gottimd Dearly Missed (9/25/77-12/23/08) Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: DC Suburbs	We are both very emotionally drained. When one of us loses it, the other is there to comfort. Haven't heard anything from NICU yet, so I am hoping that things are getting better. Doctors were still doing rounds and we are about to leave soon. Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and sympathies. We need all of the support we can get, whether it be from people I have never met face to face or life long friends or family members. __________________ NAFL New Orleans Saints GM/Co-Commish MP Career Record: 114-85 NAFL Super Bowl XI Champs In memory of Gavin Anthony: 7/22/08-7/26/08

07-25-2008, 10:26 AM	#30
Antmeister Pro Starter Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: At the corner of Beat Street and Electric Avenue	I am hoping that in a couple months, you will be sharing the baby pics. When things are out of your control, it can really be maddening, but you will be amazed at how well hospitals do with premature births. __________________ "I'm ready to bury the hatchet, but don't fuck with me" - Schmidty "Box me once, shame on Skydog. Box me twice. Shame on me. Box me 3 times, just fucking ban my ass...." - stevew

07-25-2008, 10:29 AM	#31
MizzouRah Hall Of Famer Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Troy, Mo	You and your family will be in my prayers gottimd. I couldn't even imagine what you and your wife have been through.

07-25-2008, 10:32 AM	#32
Marc Vaughan SI Games Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Melbourne, FL	Really sorry to hear you're going through this - hope he pulls through.

07-25-2008, 10:41 AM	#35
path12 Coordinator Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Seattle, WA	Best wishes to you and your family. My thoughts are with you. __________________ We have always been at war with Eastasia.

07-25-2008, 10:54 AM	#36
DanGarion Coordinator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Great Northwest	You all are in my thoughts... __________________ Los Angeles Dodgers Check out the FOFC Groups on Facebook! and Reddit! DON'T REPORT ME BRO!

07-25-2008, 11:34 AM	#38
CleBrownsfan Pro Rookie Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: C-Town	I'll be thinking of your family gottimd. I have a 5 month little girl and couldn't imagine what you are going through. Close friends of mine had twins at 22 weeks - one was born 1.5 pounds and the other was only a pound. Now they are 10 months and are very healthy babies - keep the faith. Macro: very touching poem - ty for sharing __________________ *XBox Gamertag:* Pronk32 FOOL-X - Cleveland Naps FOOL - Cleveland Cyclones SLOP - Cuyahoga Spiders

07-25-2008, 11:58 AM	#39
Zelig Mascot Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: 6721 Foxpointe Road Fort Worth, TX 76132	we are praying for you.

07-25-2008, 12:59 PM	#40
Celeval Pro Starter Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Cary, NC, USA	Prayers. Good luck.

07-25-2008, 01:15 PM	#42
Anthony Banned Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Astoria, NY, USA	i don't want to repeat what others have already said, but it's certainly sad to hear. i'll hug my newborn extra tight when he wakes up. i'm sure your wife is trying to put on a brave face and is doing all she can, make sure you comfort her and praise her more than usual. at least your baby has a fighting chance, others don't even get that chance (ie, miscarriage).