Vasectomies

CraigSca · 12-07-2004, 10:35 AM

These things are all the rage. Anyone else have one of these done? I'm getting mine next Tuesday.

I didn't need my vas deferens anyway.

rkmsuf · 12-07-2004, 10:38 AM

My advice would be to hold still.

JeeberD · 12-07-2004, 10:50 AM

That word makes my nuts hurt.

I think we've had a thread or two here about the procedure. Do a search and I'm sure you'll come up with some interesting reading...

bbor · 12-07-2004, 10:51 AM

I lost my penis.

It just shrivled up and jumped into my stomach when i opened this thread

spleen1015 · 12-07-2004, 11:20 AM

Good luck.

rkmsuf · 12-07-2004, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spleen1015

Good luck.

that isn't exactly reassuring that luck with play a factor in his balls falling out.

MizzouRah · 12-07-2004, 11:27 AM

I'll pass.

Todd

CraigSca · 12-07-2004, 11:28 AM

C'mon guys - I was hoping to get a 2 for 1 deal going

spleen1015 · 12-07-2004, 11:30 AM

Don't both of the boys get chopped?

rkmsuf · 12-07-2004, 11:32 AM

It's not that bad outside of the tugging sensation when they sow you up. Oh and the novocaine shot into the balls.

CraigSca · 12-07-2004, 11:38 AM

Yeah, that's the one thing I'm really concerned about - the novocaine shot. I mean, is there a worse place to take a shot?

I haen't had a bad dental appointment in a long that's required novocaine (geez, my last filling was 20 years ago). But, I remember the novocaine shot in the gum was excruciating. I can only imagine what a 50 foot long needle in the gonads must feel like. Rest assured you will all know next Tuesday! Unless I back out and take the first flight to Vegas...

Glengoyne · 12-07-2004, 11:39 AM

I've known a few guys that have gotten one, and in all cases they were walking bow-legged and hunched over for a day or two.

Have fun though. IIRC a vasectomy helped at least on FOFCer get lucky on a more regular basis.

rkmsuf · 12-07-2004, 11:41 AM

You are so self conscious while the young female assistants are helping the doctor you don't even notice.

Franklinnoble · 12-07-2004, 11:41 AM

Serious question... because I'm an idiot... but, if they snip the vas deferens, umm, where does all the baby batter go? And, um, what comes out when you, you know?

sabotai · 12-07-2004, 11:43 AM

I was wondering the same thing Franklin.

rkmsuf · 12-07-2004, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franklinnoble

Serious question... because I'm an idiot... but, if they snip the vas deferens, umm, where does all the baby batter go? And, um, what comes out when you, you know?

nothing, your nuts just swell to enormous size for a moment and then it's time for a smoke.

spleen1015 · 12-07-2004, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franklinnoble

Serious question... because I'm an idiot... but, if they snip the vas deferens, umm, where does all the baby batter go? And, um, what comes out when you, you know?

The batter stays put.

The same stuff comes out, but no swimmers.

bbor · 12-07-2004, 11:44 AM

Batter still comes out....just not the baby part.

CraigSca · 12-07-2004, 11:45 AM

Apparently the sperm just go back into the body. This happens all the time with cells, so it's nothing new.

The semen is regular semen, but now 100% sperm-free

CraigSca · 12-07-2004, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rkmsuf

You are so self conscious while the young female assistants are helping the doctor you don't even notice.

Yeah...i was wondering about that. Also...would I have to do any "prep" work? The doc said "no", however...though I think I'll tidy up the area anyway

CraigSca · 12-07-2004, 11:47 AM

Batter comes from your prostate and other doo-dads - only the sperm come from the jewels.

MizzouRah · 12-07-2004, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franklinnoble

Serious question... because I'm an idiot... but, if they snip the vas deferens, umm, where does all the baby batter go? And, um, what comes out when you, you know?

"baby batter"???

I just barfed that bologna sandwich.

Todd

rkmsuf · 12-07-2004, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CraigSca

Yeah...i was wondering about that. Also...would I have to do any "prep" work? The doc said "no", however...though I think I'll tidy up the area anyway

Oh no, the doctor will take great pleasure in shaving you.

CraigSca · 12-07-2004, 11:54 AM

Yeah, I wouldn't want to irritate him by denying him that pleasure

spleen1015 · 12-07-2004, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rkmsuf

Oh no, the doctor will take great pleasure in shaving you.

Watch for in-grown hair.

rkmsuf · 12-07-2004, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spleen1015

Watch for in-grown hair.

You are literally in the hands of professionals...not a problem.

oliegirl · 12-07-2004, 11:59 AM

Haha...I may have to go through childbirth, but I will never have to worry about someone coming at my genetalia with a needle wanting to snip something!!!! It's good to be a woman

MizzouRah · 12-07-2004, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rkmsuf

Oh no, the doctor will take great pleasure in shaving you.

I thought all "men" shaved there on a normal basis anyway. Women love that.

Todd

rkmsuf · 12-07-2004, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MizzouRah

I thought all "men" shaved there on a normal basis anyway. Women love that.

Todd

If you are up for a challenge, try shaving your balls while you are drunk.

bbor · 12-07-2004, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oliegirl

Haha...I may have to go through childbirth, but I will never have to worry about someone coming at my genetalia with a needle wanting to snip something!!!! It's good to be a woman

You may.....it all depends on what Radii is into

MizzouRah · 12-07-2004, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rkmsuf

If you are up for a challenge, try shaving your balls while you are drunk.

I'll try that sometime. Maybe this weekend.

Todd

Franklinnoble · 12-07-2004, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oliegirl

Haha...I may have to go through childbirth, but I will never have to worry about someone coming at my genetalia with a needle wanting to snip something!!!! It's good to be a woman

Hah. Ever heard of an episiotomy?

oliegirl · 12-07-2004, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Hah. Ever heard of an episiotomy?

Yep, had one with my son...19 stiches...but I was still numb from the epidural and the dr. put topical numbing cream on to make sure I didn't feel anything. Still beats getting a needle in the balls though

JeeberD · 12-07-2004, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franklinnoble

Hah. Ever heard of an episiotomy?

*Shudders*

My dad is an OBGYN and used to tell my mom at the dinner table about his day at work. I especially loved the stories about how there were times when the baby was coming so fast that they didn't have time to grab the scalpel or scissors or whatever they use for the episiotomy, so he would just have to grip and rip.

Reason #38,875 that's it's great to be a man...

Eaglesfan27 · 12-07-2004, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JeeberD

*Shudders*

My dad is an OBGYN and used to tell my mom at the dinner table about his day at work. I especially loved the stories about how there were times when the baby was coming so fast that they didn't have time to grab the scalpel or scissors or whatever they use for the episiotomy, so he would just have to grip and rip.

Reason #38,875 that's it's great to be a man...

Ugh... brings back some bad memories from my OB/GYN rotation. Glad my wife never saw that stuff, convincing her to have a little Eaglesfan would be even harder than it already is.

Franklinnoble · 12-07-2004, 12:50 PM

Jeebs, don't ever do that again. Seriously. That's just wrong.

JeeberD · 12-07-2004, 01:00 PM

I've got tons of great stories, Franky. You sure you don't want to hear any more?

SackAttack · 12-07-2004, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JeeberD

...so he would just have to grip and rip.

Just remember: drive for show, putt for dough.

rkmsuf · 12-07-2004, 01:07 PM

SackAttack in the vasectomy thread.

Dave66 · 12-07-2004, 01:12 PM

DO NOT let the physician performing the surgery talk you into just taking a valuim.....it does not take the edge off and you will smell burning flesh and feel pulling and tugging. DO let them give you an injection of Versed. You won't remember or feel a thing. I went the Versed way and don't regret it a bit

rkmsuf · 12-07-2004, 01:14 PM

Burning flesh? How big are dem nuts?

Franklinnoble · 12-07-2004, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rkmsuf

SackAttack in the vasectomy thread.

Brilliant.

VPI97 · 12-07-2004, 01:27 PM

For three years, I've been begging my wife to let me get a vasectomy.

I want the needle in the scrotum.

Franklinnoble · 12-07-2004, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VPI97

For three years, I've been begging my wife to let me get a vasectomy.

I want the needle in the scrotum.

Can somebody recommend a good mental health clinic in the greater Atlanta area?

VPI97 · 12-07-2004, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franklinnoble

Can somebody recommend a good mental health clinic in the greater Atlanta area?

I'm already shaved, so I'm ahead of the game. The only problem is that in Georgia, married men are required to have spousal consent before having a vasectomy. The wife won't sign up for it yet.

GrantDawg · 12-07-2004, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VPI97

I'm already shaved, so I'm ahead of the game.

TMI! TMI! TMI! TMI! Don't EVER reveal crap like that again.

SackAttack · 12-07-2004, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franklinnoble

Brilliant.

Wouldn't be proper widdout, right?

rkmsuf · 12-07-2004, 01:58 PM

Cut me Mick.

SegRat · 12-07-2004, 02:08 PM

I would have never gussed this thread would be so damn funny.

Ksyrup · 12-07-2004, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VPI97

The only problem is that in Georgia, married men are required to have spousal consent before having a vasectomy.

Really?! I've never heard of such a thing.

So let me get this straight - women not only have the absolute right to decide whether to keep a baby, but whether to make one as well? What about the man's privacy right? Or his privates' rights?

12-07-2004, 10:38 AM	#2
rkmsuf Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2001	My advice would be to hold still. __________________ "Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales

12-07-2004, 10:51 AM	#4
bbor Pro Starter Join Date: May 2001 Location: toronto	I lost my penis. It just shrivled up and jumped into my stomach when i opened this thread __________________ Pumpy Tudors Now that I've cracked and made that admission, I wonder if I'm only a couple of steps away from wanting to tongue-kiss Jaromir Jagr and give Bobby Clarke a blowjob.

12-07-2004, 11:28 AM	#8
CraigSca Pro Starter Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Not Delaware - hurray!	C'mon guys - I was hoping to get a 2 for 1 deal going __________________ She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! She loves you, yeah! how do you know? how do you know?

12-07-2004, 11:32 AM	#10
rkmsuf Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2001	It's not that bad outside of the tugging sensation when they sow you up. Oh and the novocaine shot into the balls. __________________ "Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales

12-07-2004, 11:38 AM	#11
CraigSca Pro Starter Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Not Delaware - hurray!	Yeah, that's the one thing I'm really concerned about - the novocaine shot. I mean, is there a worse place to take a shot? I haen't had a bad dental appointment in a long that's required novocaine (geez, my last filling was 20 years ago). But, I remember the novocaine shot in the gum was excruciating. I can only imagine what a 50 foot long needle in the gonads must feel like. Rest assured you will all know next Tuesday! Unless I back out and take the first flight to Vegas... __________________ She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! She loves you, yeah! how do you know? how do you know?

12-07-2004, 10:50 AM	#3
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	That word makes my nuts hurt. I think we've had a thread or two here about the procedure. Do a search and I'm sure you'll come up with some interesting reading... __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

12-07-2004, 11:20 AM	#5
spleen1015 Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2003	Good luck.

12-07-2004, 11:27 AM	#7
MizzouRah Hall Of Famer Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Troy, Mo	I'll pass. Todd

12-07-2004, 11:30 AM	#9
spleen1015 Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2003	Don't both of the boys get chopped?

12-07-2004, 11:39 AM	#12
Glengoyne Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Fresno, CA	I've known a few guys that have gotten one, and in all cases they were walking bow-legged and hunched over for a day or two. Have fun though. IIRC a vasectomy helped at least on FOFCer get lucky on a more regular basis.

12-07-2004, 11:41 AM	#13
rkmsuf Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2001	You are so self conscious while the young female assistants are helping the doctor you don't even notice. __________________ "Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales

12-07-2004, 11:41 AM	#14
Franklinnoble Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Placerville, CA	Serious question... because I'm an idiot... but, if they snip the vas deferens, umm, where does all the baby batter go? And, um, what comes out when you, you know?

12-07-2004, 11:43 AM	#15
sabotai General Manager Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Satellite of Love	I was wondering the same thing Franklin.

12-07-2004, 11:44 AM	#18
bbor Pro Starter Join Date: May 2001 Location: toronto	Batter still comes out....just not the baby part. __________________ Pumpy Tudors Now that I've cracked and made that admission, I wonder if I'm only a couple of steps away from wanting to tongue-kiss Jaromir Jagr and give Bobby Clarke a blowjob.

12-07-2004, 11:45 AM	#19
CraigSca Pro Starter Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Not Delaware - hurray!	Apparently the sperm just go back into the body. This happens all the time with cells, so it's nothing new. The semen is regular semen, but now 100% sperm-free __________________ She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! She loves you, yeah! how do you know? how do you know?

12-07-2004, 11:47 AM	#21
CraigSca Pro Starter Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Not Delaware - hurray!	Batter comes from your prostate and other doo-dads - only the sperm come from the jewels. __________________ She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! She loves you, yeah! how do you know? how do you know?

12-07-2004, 11:54 AM	#24
CraigSca Pro Starter Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Not Delaware - hurray!	Yeah, I wouldn't want to irritate him by denying him that pleasure __________________ She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! She loves you, yeah! how do you know? how do you know?

12-07-2004, 12:50 PM	#36
Franklinnoble Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Placerville, CA	Jeebs, don't ever do that again. Seriously. That's just wrong.

12-07-2004, 01:00 PM	#37
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	I've got tons of great stories, Franky. You sure you don't want to hear any more? __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

12-07-2004, 01:07 PM	#39
rkmsuf Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2001	SackAttack in the vasectomy thread. __________________ "Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales

12-07-2004, 01:12 PM	#40
Dave66 n00b Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Baton Rouge, LA	DO NOT let the physician performing the surgery talk you into just taking a valuim.....it does not take the edge off and you will smell burning flesh and feel pulling and tugging. DO let them give you an injection of Versed. You won't remember or feel a thing. I went the Versed way and don't regret it a bit

12-07-2004, 01:14 PM	#41
rkmsuf Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2001	Burning flesh? How big are dem nuts? __________________ "Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales

12-07-2004, 01:27 PM	#43
VPI97 Hokie, Hokie, Hokie, Hi Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Kennesaw, GA	For three years, I've been begging my wife to let me get a vasectomy. I want the needle in the scrotum. __________________ CT & Jivin - "Surprisingly Entertaining"

12-07-2004, 01:58 PM	#48
rkmsuf Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2001	Cut me Mick. __________________ "Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales

12-07-2004, 02:08 PM	#49
SegRat High School Varsity Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Oshkosh, WI	I would have never gussed this thread would be so damn funny. __________________ USFL: Charlotte Fightn' Squirrels

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