Move over Najah Davenport we have a new winner

Dr. Sak · 11-09-2005, 04:22 PM

The Digital Collegian - Published independently by students at Penn State NEWS
[ Monday, Nov. 7, 2005 ]

News in brief

Female defecates in police department

A 20-year-old Penn State student was cited after an incident at 3 a.m. Saturday in the lobby of the State College Police Department, 243 S. Allen St.

A Penn State University Police auxiliary officer found the semi-conscious, partially dressed woman after she had defecated on the floor and rolled in it, police said.

The woman told police she thought the building was her home, and she was taken to Mount Nittany Medical Center to be treated for an alcohol overdose, police said.

Janitors had to be called to clean and sanitize the area, and the doors were left open to air out the building, police said.

Police said the building's doors are always left unlocked, but the public bathrooms on the first floor are locked at night.

The woman was given citations for a minor's law violation, public drunkenness, disorderly conduct and criminal mischief.

Not only did she crap on the floor, but she ROLLED in it. I have never gotten that drunk that I have lost control of my bowels. This is just too funny.

Ksyrup · 11-09-2005, 04:26 PM

Not quite as good as Najeh, though, since his was willful, not alcohol-induced. Still, I think it's a shame that her name was withheld from the story.

sovereignstar · 11-09-2005, 04:26 PM

She should be featured in the next Playboy Big 10 issue.

vtbub · 11-09-2005, 04:27 PM

Who'd you piss off now?

Ramzavail · 11-09-2005, 04:34 PM

hah thats great.

WSUCougar · 11-09-2005, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bsak16

Janitors had to be called to clean and sanitize the area...

...because God knows I'M not cleaning up that shit!

st.cronin · 11-09-2005, 05:21 PM

I bet she transfers.

Joe · 11-09-2005, 05:50 PM

you guys act like it's some strange phenomenon. it actually can happen quite easily.

Solecismic · 11-09-2005, 05:54 PM

Which reminds me of a teaser I heard on the news this evening.

What is the worst possible job a person could have?

Apparently, there are people who consider themselves experts in toilet training. And with the instant gratification don't-fuck-with-my-leisure-time approach to parenting these days, there are plenty of parents willing to fork over the bucks to bring in one of these weirdos to teach your kid to use the toilet.

As the parent of a two-year-old, I can not imagine a worse career choice.

Desnudo · 11-09-2005, 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by George W Bush

you guys act like it's some strange phenomenon. it actually can happen quite easily.

Mistaking a police station for your home, and then mistaking the floor for a toilet, and then mistaking shit for your pillow?

SackAttack · 11-09-2005, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solecismic

As the parent of a two-year-old, I can not imagine a worse career choice.

Two years old?

Good Lord, has time passed that quickly?

Joe · 11-09-2005, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desnudo

Mistaking a police station for your home, and then mistaking the floor for a toilet, and then mistaking shit for your pillow?

Exactly. I can't tell you how many times I've seen it happen.

Vegas Vic · 11-09-2005, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solecismic

What is the worst possible job a person could have?

On one of Letterman's old Top 10 lists, it was "floor swabber in a peep show booth."

Swaggs · 11-09-2005, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vegas Vic

On one of Letterman's old Top 10 lists, it was "floor swabber in a peep show booth."

Norm MacDonald said it was "Assistant Crack Whore" on Weekend Update a few years ago.

colt45 · 11-09-2005, 08:43 PM

Come on guys, poop is fun! At home OR in jail! Surely you remember college . . . mmmm.

Lathum · 11-10-2005, 03:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solecismic

Which reminds me of a teaser I heard on the news this evening.

What is the worst possible job a person could have?

Apparently, there are people who consider themselves experts in toilet training. And with the instant gratification don't-fuck-with-my-leisure-time approach to parenting these days, there are plenty of parents willing to fork over the bucks to bring in one of these weirdos to teach your kid to use the toilet.

As the parent of a two-year-old, I can not imagine a worse career choice.

my cousin actually tried this with his daughter. It was like potty training boot camp and it fucked the poor girl up so badly she was so afraid to have an accident that she would and then cry about it and feel ashamed.

Ksyrup · 11-10-2005, 06:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desnudo

Mistaking a police station for your home, and then mistaking the floor for a toilet, and then mistaking shit for your pillow?

In all fairness, she mistook the shit for her blanket, not a pillow. Much more common mistake.

11-09-2005, 04:26 PM	#2
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	Not quite as good as Najeh, though, since his was willful, not alcohol-induced. Still, I think it's a shame that her name was withheld from the story. __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

11-09-2005, 04:27 PM	#4
vtbub College Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Burlington, VT USA	Who'd you piss off now? __________________

11-09-2005, 04:26 PM	#3
sovereignstar Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2004	She should be featured in the next Playboy Big 10 issue.

11-09-2005, 04:34 PM	#5
Ramzavail College Starter Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Strong Island, NY	hah thats great.

11-09-2005, 05:21 PM	#7
st.cronin General Manager Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: New Mexico	I bet she transfers.

11-09-2005, 05:50 PM	#8
Joe Pro Starter Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Minneapolis	you guys act like it's some strange phenomenon. it actually can happen quite easily.

11-09-2005, 05:54 PM	#9
Solecismic Solecismic Software Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Canton, OH	Which reminds me of a teaser I heard on the news this evening. What is the worst possible job a person could have? Apparently, there are people who consider themselves experts in toilet training. And with the instant gratification don't-fuck-with-my-leisure-time approach to parenting these days, there are plenty of parents willing to fork over the bucks to bring in one of these weirdos to teach your kid to use the toilet. As the parent of a two-year-old, I can not imagine a worse career choice.

11-09-2005, 08:43 PM	#15
colt45 n00b Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Dallas	Come on guys, poop is fun! At home OR in jail! Surely you remember college . . . mmmm.

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