Celebrity Hot or Not, Vol. 47: Jessica Simpson

Kodos · 06-28-2006, 01:09 PM

Kelly Clarkson garnered less than a 40% hotness rating, severely lessening her chances of making the Celebrity Hot or Not Tournament. Next up, Jessica Simpson. The question on this pollster's mind: Will Nick's fans be able to forgive her?

Previous Voting Results

Code:

Elisha Cuthbert       92.00
Anna Kournikova       90.97
Kate Beckinsale       90.51
Jessica Alba          89.78
Salma Hayek           87.68
Scarlett Johansen     86.45 
Shania Twain          86.09
Natalie Portman       86.06
Charlize Theron       85.40
Keira Knightley       84.18
Evangeline Lilly      81.20
Alyssa Milano         79.89
Angelina Jolie        78.49
Eva Longoria          77.93
Ashley Judd           77.85
Faith Hill            77.10
Eva Mendes            76.26
Melissa Stark         75.00
Christina Milian      70.97
Jennifer Aniston      68.32
Cindy Crawford        62.50
Kirsten Dunst         61.01
Tyra Banks            60.14
Angie Harmon          60.00
Danica Patrick        59.17
Reese Witherspoon     58.05
Tiffani Thiessen      57.93
Kate Winslet          57.23
Christa Miller        52.43
Jennifer Garner       47.10
Sandra Bullock        44.65
Jennifer Lopez        44.23
Katie Holmes          43.28
Kelly Clarkson        39.85
Parminder Nagra       38.64
Teri Hatcher          37.96
Pamela Anderson       37.90
Uma Thurman           35.51
Gillian Anderson      35.48
Grace Park            33.33
Cameron Diaz          31.67
Madonna               14.47
Sarah Jessica Parker  11.05

CleBrownsfan · 06-28-2006, 01:10 PM

Perfect body but she looks like a man baby - IMO.

MJ4H · 06-28-2006, 01:10 PM

easy one. hot

PackerFanatic · 06-28-2006, 01:12 PM

Dukes of Hazzard anyone? Yowza...

Kodos · 06-28-2006, 01:13 PM

Her stupidity prevents me from voting hot. It is just too much of a turnoff.

rkmsuf · 06-28-2006, 01:13 PM

she looks smelly

I saw a mad tv with her on it from years ago though that gave me a boner.

I'm going not though. I can't stand the whole act she has going on.

bulletsponge · 06-28-2006, 01:13 PM

right now votes are 4-3 for hot, which leads me to think there are 3 gay dudes who voted

Anthony · 06-28-2006, 01:14 PM

before i die, i must fornicate with her.

in every orifice.

rkmsuf · 06-28-2006, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PackerFanatic

Dukes of Hazzard anyone? Yowza...

It's all trick photography.

Desnudo · 06-28-2006, 01:15 PM

Kodos · 06-28-2006, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bulletsponge

right now votes are 4-3 for hot, which leads me to think there are 3 gay dudes who voted

7-6 now. FOFC must be a haven.

wade moore · 06-28-2006, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kodos

Her stupidity prevents me from voting hot. It is just too much of a turnoff.

Fortunately I've never logged time with her MTV show or anything else where I get to see her stupidity...

Desnudo · 06-28-2006, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bulletsponge

right now votes are 4-3 for hot, which leads me to think there are 3 gay dudes who voted

I think it's gayer to have voted for a man.

rkmsuf · 06-28-2006, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desnudo

I think it's gayer to have voted for a man.

wurd

she's a mimbo

Toddzilla · 06-28-2006, 01:17 PM

Her stupidity prevents me from voting not. It is just too much of a turnon.

kingfc22 · 06-28-2006, 01:24 PM

If IQ came into play, then definately not. But her body is smokin.

rkmsuf · 06-28-2006, 01:25 PM

I think she is probably terrible in the sack. Just a hunch.

WSUCougar · 06-28-2006, 01:27 PM

Not, not, a thousand times not.

JeeberD · 06-28-2006, 01:32 PM

She used to be incredibly hot, but the recent pics I've seen of her make it seem like she's going downhill. Still, she's barely in the "hot" category...

Butter · 06-28-2006, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kodos

Her stupidity prevents me from voting hot. It is just too much of a turnoff.

I decided it was not quite enough of a turnoff to prevent me from voting hot. But it was on a razor's edge there. I actually gasped when I revealed the outcome.

Toddzilla · 06-28-2006, 01:38 PM

I know you can't tell if someone is hot just by listening to them and not seeing them, so by that standard I believe you cannot say someone isn't hot buy what they say and not how they look.

Eaglesfan27 · 06-28-2006, 01:38 PM

The body is just too good to vote not.

rkmsuf · 06-28-2006, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toddzilla

I know you can't tell if someone is hot just by listening to them and not seeing them, so by that standard I believe you cannot say someone isn't hot buy what they say and not how they look.

that's not true. it's a combination unless you are allowed to tape their mouths shut. I have lobbyed for this in certain cases.

Draft Dodger · 06-28-2006, 01:47 PM

really, people. lower than Melissa Stark?

BrianD · 06-28-2006, 01:59 PM

I think we need a vote for below-the-neck hot, or paper-bag hot...

PackerFanatic · 06-28-2006, 02:02 PM

Granted her stupidity does turn her off a little bit...I voted on sheer hot looks.

PackerFanatic · 06-28-2006, 02:02 PM

dola, her stupidity is probably just an act anyways (or I sincerely hope so)

vex · 06-28-2006, 02:03 PM

Nick has fans?

MalcPow · 06-28-2006, 02:07 PM

Her stupidity? Did you guys sleep through all of your objectifying women classes at man school? This is, pardon the pun, a no-brainer.

BrianD · 06-28-2006, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PackerFanatic

dola, her stupidity is probably just an act anyways (or I sincerely hope so)

She is the one that couldn't figure out if Chicken of the Sea tuna was fish or chicken, right?

RendeR · 06-28-2006, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MalcPow

Her stupidity? Did you guys sleep through all of your objectifying women classes at man school? This is, pardon the pun, a no-brainer.

Yer rightm its a no-brainer....NOT HOT. She's such a freaking moron. But more than that she KNOWS she has a nice body and she also knows its the ONLY reason she has any celebrity at all.

I hate pompous asses.

NOT HOT.

rkmsuf · 06-28-2006, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrianD

She is the one that couldn't figure out if Chicken of the Sea tuna was fish or chicken, right?

that was probably shctick but regardless she hasn't a clue how to be sexy. that whole family over there is bonkos.

Desnudo · 06-28-2006, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PackerFanatic

dola, her stupidity is probably just an act anyways (or I sincerely hope so)

I'm sure it's more of a "never had to think for myself," kind of ignorance rather than out and out stupidity. Which is more of a turn-off to me than someone who is plain dumb.

rkmsuf · 06-28-2006, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desnudo

I'm sure it's more of a "never had to think for myself," kind of ignorance rather than out and out stupidity. Which is more of a turn-off to me than someone who is plain dumb.

very well said

impressive, danielson

BrianD · 06-28-2006, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rkmsuf

that was probably shctick but regardless she hasn't a clue how to be sexy. that whole family over there is bonkos.

I don't think so. There are too many of those stories for it to be an act. Her sister seems to be just as bad. I'm not sure how either got to be famous since they are both devoid of any talent. That said, for curiosity's sake, I'll check out Ashlee's spread in Playboy if she decided to do it.

Desnudo · 06-28-2006, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rkmsuf

very well said

impressive, danielson

That's what Ali Mills said

Arigato

rkmsuf · 06-28-2006, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desnudo

That's what Ali Mills said

Arigato

ooh doctor. ali mills.

cartman · 06-28-2006, 02:22 PM

I'd bang her smart.

rkmsuf · 06-28-2006, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrianD

I don't think so. There are too many of those stories for it to be an act. Her sister seems to be just as bad. I'm not sure how either got to be famous since they are both devoid of any talent. That said, for curiosity's sake, I'll check out Ashlee's spread in Playboy if she decided to do it.

how sick and twisted can parents be is my question

they are geniuses though. they got the cash which I suppose was the goal.

Raiders Army · 06-28-2006, 03:12 PM

Antmeister · 06-28-2006, 03:29 PM

I had mixed feelings over this because I had remembered when she was a stick figure, but this picture proves that she filled out quite well and I even felt my knees buckle a little bit:

NSFW:hxxp://thebosh.com/archives/Jessica%20Simpson%20%20Shot.jpg

If only it slipped a little further.

gkb · 06-28-2006, 03:47 PM

Boobs...hot.

sovereignstar · 06-28-2006, 03:52 PM

Bitch has had work done on her boobs. All you need to do is look at pre-2004 photos. Regardless, not.

MIJB#19 · 06-28-2006, 03:59 PM

Had I never seen Newly Weds, I'd have voten hot in a second. But her act on that show, I hope it was an act, it almost pushed me into not...

MIJB#19 · 06-28-2006, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kodos

Kelly Clarkson garnered less than a 40% hotness rating, severely lessening her chances of making the Celebrity Hot or Not Tournament.

Tournament?

Neuqua · 06-28-2006, 04:41 PM

Solid face with a hall of fame body.

Hot Hot Hot.

dawgfan · 06-28-2006, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neuqua

Solid face with a hall of fame body.

Hot Hot Hot.

Hall of fame body, but I'm not a big fan of her face.

Antmeister · 06-28-2006, 05:42 PM

By the way, thanks for the edit Jeebs. I don't know what I was thinking.

JeeberD · 06-28-2006, 05:49 PM

Gotta take care of my fellow Texans, don't I?

Joe · 06-28-2006, 05:49 PM

her sister is much hotter

View Poll Results: Jessica Simpson is...
Hot!	110	72.37%
Not!	42	27.63%
Voters: 152. You may not vote on this poll

06-28-2006, 01:10 PM	#2
CleBrownsfan Pro Rookie Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: C-Town	Perfect body but she looks like a man baby - IMO. __________________ *XBox Gamertag:* Pronk32 FOOL-X - Cleveland Naps FOOL - Cleveland Cyclones SLOP - Cuyahoga Spiders

06-28-2006, 01:12 PM	#4
PackerFanatic Pro Starter Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Appleton, WI	Dukes of Hazzard anyone? Yowza... __________________ Commissioner of the RNFL

06-28-2006, 01:13 PM	#6
rkmsuf Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2001	she looks smelly I saw a mad tv with her on it from years ago though that gave me a boner. I'm going not though. I can't stand the whole act she has going on. __________________ "Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales

06-28-2006, 01:15 PM	#10
Desnudo Coordinator Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Here and There	Nah

06-28-2006, 01:10 PM	#3
MJ4H Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Hog Country	easy one. hot

06-28-2006, 01:13 PM	#5
Kodos Resident Alien Join Date: Jun 2001	Her stupidity prevents me from voting hot. It is just too much of a turnoff.

06-28-2006, 01:13 PM	#7
bulletsponge Pro Starter Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: TX	right now votes are 4-3 for hot, which leads me to think there are 3 gay dudes who voted

06-28-2006, 01:14 PM	#8
Anthony Banned Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Astoria, NY, USA	before i die, i must fornicate with her. in every orifice.

06-28-2006, 01:17 PM	#15
Toddzilla Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Burke, VA	Her stupidity prevents me from voting not. It is just too much of a turnon.

06-28-2006, 01:24 PM	#16
kingfc22 Head Coach Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Morgan Hill, CA	If IQ came into play, then definately not. But her body is smokin. __________________ Fan of SF Giants, 49ers, Sharks, Arsenal

06-28-2006, 01:25 PM	#17
rkmsuf Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2001	I think she is probably terrible in the sack. Just a hunch. __________________ "Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales

06-28-2006, 01:27 PM	#18
WSUCougar Rider Of Rohan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Port Angeles, WA or Helm's Deep	Not, not, a thousand times not. __________________ It's not the years...it's the mileage.

06-28-2006, 01:32 PM	#19
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	She used to be incredibly hot, but the recent pics I've seen of her make it seem like she's going downhill. Still, she's barely in the "hot" category... __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

06-28-2006, 01:38 PM	#21
Toddzilla Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Burke, VA	I know you can't tell if someone is hot just by listening to them and not seeing them, so by that standard I believe you cannot say someone isn't hot buy what they say and not how they look.

06-28-2006, 01:38 PM	#22
Eaglesfan27 Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: New Jersey	The body is just too good to vote not. __________________ Retired GM of the eNFL 2007 Super Bowl Champion Philadelphia Eagles (19-0 record.) GM of the WOOF 2006 Doggie Bowl Champion Atlantic City Gamblers. GM of the IHOF 2019 and 2022 IHOF Bowl Champion Asheville Axemen.

06-28-2006, 01:47 PM	#24
Draft Dodger Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Keene, NH	really, people. lower than Melissa Stark? __________________ Mile High Hockey

06-28-2006, 01:59 PM	#25
BrianD Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Appleton, WI	I think we need a vote for below-the-neck hot, or paper-bag hot...

06-28-2006, 02:02 PM	#26
PackerFanatic Pro Starter Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Appleton, WI	Granted her stupidity does turn her off a little bit...I voted on sheer hot looks. __________________ Commissioner of the RNFL

06-28-2006, 02:03 PM	#28
vex Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Tulsa	Nick has fans?

06-28-2006, 02:07 PM	#29
MalcPow College Benchwarmer Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: San Diego	Her stupidity? Did you guys sleep through all of your objectifying women classes at man school? This is, pardon the pun, a no-brainer.

06-28-2006, 02:22 PM	#38
cartman Death Herald Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Le stelle la notte sono grandi e luminose nel cuore profondo del Texas	I'd bang her smart. __________________ Thinkin' of a master plan 'Cuz ain't nuthin' but sweat inside my hand So I dig into my pocket, all my money is spent So I dig deeper but still comin' up with lint

06-28-2006, 03:12 PM	#40
Raiders Army Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Black Hole	not

06-28-2006, 03:29 PM	#41
Antmeister Pro Starter Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: At the corner of Beat Street and Electric Avenue	I had mixed feelings over this because I had remembered when she was a stick figure, but this picture proves that she filled out quite well and I even felt my knees buckle a little bit: NSFW:hxxp://thebosh.com/archives/Jessica%20Simpson%20%20Shot.jpg If only it slipped a little further. __________________ "I'm ready to bury the hatchet, but don't fuck with me" - Schmidty "Box me once, shame on Skydog. Box me twice. Shame on me. Box me 3 times, just fucking ban my ass...." - stevew Last edited by JeeberD : 06-28-2006 at 04:36 PM.

06-28-2006, 03:47 PM	#42
gkb High School Varsity Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Colorado	Boobs...hot. __________________ BALLERZ YO, fo shizzle. - QuikSand

06-28-2006, 03:52 PM	#43
sovereignstar Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2004	Bitch has had work done on her boobs. All you need to do is look at pre-2004 photos. Regardless, not.

06-28-2006, 03:59 PM	#44
MIJB#19 Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Maassluis, Zuid-Holland, Netherlands	Had I never seen Newly Weds, I'd have voten hot in a second. But her act on that show, I hope it was an act, it almost pushed me into not... __________________ * 2005 Golden Scribe winner for best FOF Dynasty about IHOF's Maassluis Merchantmen * Former GM of GEFL's Houston Oilers and WOOF's Curacao Cocktail Last edited by MIJB#19 : 06-28-2006 at 03:59 PM.

06-28-2006, 04:41 PM	#46
Neuqua Pro Rookie Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Chicago, Ill	Solid face with a hall of fame body. Hot Hot Hot. __________________ Our Deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?

06-28-2006, 05:42 PM	#48
Antmeister Pro Starter Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: At the corner of Beat Street and Electric Avenue	By the way, thanks for the edit Jeebs. I don't know what I was thinking. __________________ "I'm ready to bury the hatchet, but don't fuck with me" - Schmidty "Box me once, shame on Skydog. Box me twice. Shame on me. Box me 3 times, just fucking ban my ass...." - stevew

06-28-2006, 05:49 PM	#49
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	Gotta take care of my fellow Texans, don't I? __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

06-28-2006, 05:49 PM	#50
Joe Pro Starter Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Minneapolis	her sister is much hotter

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