WVUFAN takes a 5 pound crap

Shkspr · 08-11-2007, 08:45 PM

It'll need its own thread in about 8-12 hours.

st.cronin · 08-11-2007, 08:47 PM

Threads like this are what keeps my girlfriend from joining the board. Good work, sir.

WVUFAN · 08-11-2007, 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shkspr

It'll need its own thread in about 8-12 hours.

Let's focus on the present, shall we?

Desmond · 08-11-2007, 08:55 PM

One time when I was little and we were getting ready for church, I was in the bathroom for a long time, it eventually took a stick to get the thing to flush. On the way to church my mom remarked how the thing must of been 5 pounds. That innocuous wording screwed me up for a good 5-6 years as I would measure my weight based on the size of my poops, "that one looks like a 3 pounder at best, I better load up on some corn in the coming weeks if I wanna make pee wee football this year".

Richard Weed · 08-11-2007, 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desmond

One time when I was little and we were getting ready for church, I was in the bathroom for a long time, it eventually took a stick to get the thing to flush. On the way to church my mom remarked how the thing must of been 5 pounds. That innocuous wording screwed me up for a good 5-6 years as I would measure my weight based on the size of my poops, "that one looks like a 3 pounder at best, I better load up on some corn in the coming weeks if I wanna make pee wee football this year".

That story is quite disturbing. You know that if the pile is coming out of the water, you should've flushed halfway through right?

Desmond · 08-11-2007, 09:02 PM

I was a kid, I didn't know nothin. I always took big poops cause for some reason I had an aversion to going to the bathroom so I would store it way too long.

WVUFAN · 08-11-2007, 09:05 PM

This is a very .. very disturbing thread.

st.cronin · 08-11-2007, 09:07 PM

What happened to the stick?

Desmond · 08-11-2007, 09:09 PM

I dunno, probably thrown back out back or something. Maybe the neighbors yard.

Shkspr · 08-11-2007, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WVUFAN

This is a very .. very disturbing thread.

Even more disturbing is that this might have been the most successful thread I've ever started.

stevew · 08-11-2007, 09:38 PM

I always make sure I weigh myself before and after dropping the big "holiday" level poops.

Crim · 08-11-2007, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st.cronin

What happened to the stick?

I'm cryin over here. F'n cryin. Thank you.

Crim · 08-11-2007, 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevew

I always make sure I weigh myself before and after dropping the big "holiday" level poops.

First time my wife caught me doing that, she was so disgusted she announced it to her family while I was still in mid-deed. I heard her dad guffawing about it while the neck of the turd was still rounding the corner of my large intestine. I honestly think she was trying to shame some class into me, but it didn't seem to take.

cartman · 08-11-2007, 10:39 PM

Pepto-Bismol is made by a bunch of liars. It says right on the bottle "For Diarrhea". I drank a whole bottle at once before, and I never got diarrhea. But I did poop an enormous brick about 8 days later.

flere-imsaho · 08-12-2007, 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WVUFAN

Let's focus on the present, shall we?

You go ahead and get into your "happy place". We'll all be over here laughing at your eventual plight.

Suburban Rhythm · 08-12-2007, 09:24 AM

Most disturbing thing so far...i saw flere was the last post before me, and I am really upset this thread didn't have a flere paint-diagram.

Julio Riddols · 08-12-2007, 11:07 AM

Turds have necks? I must've missed the chance to take Turd Anatomy in high school.

So in theory, I could choke a turd.

larrymcg421 · 08-12-2007, 11:09 AM

I really think the board could have survived without this thread.

cartman · 08-12-2007, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by larrymcg421

I really think the board could have survived without this thread.

That which does not kill you makes you stronger.

But that which kills you, kills you.

Shkspr · 08-12-2007, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by larrymcg421

I really think the board could have survived without this thread.

I was thinking I'd let it grow to five pages and then try to flush it with a stick.

Crim · 08-12-2007, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julio Riddols

Turds have necks? I must've missed the chance to take Turd Anatomy in high school.

So in theory, I could choke a turd.

Never heard of a turdle neck sweater?

MizzouRah · 08-12-2007, 07:09 PM

Please tell me you have plenty of Air Wick on hand?

CamEdwards · 08-12-2007, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st.cronin

What happened to the stick?

Your house didn't have a designated "turd stick"? Must be an Oklahoma thing.

08-11-2007, 08:47 PM	#2
st.cronin General Manager Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: New Mexico	Threads like this are what keeps my girlfriend from joining the board. Good work, sir. __________________ co-commish: bb-bbcf.net knives out

08-11-2007, 09:05 PM	#7
WVUFAN College Starter Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Huntington, WV	This is a very .. very disturbing thread. __________________

08-11-2007, 09:07 PM	#8
st.cronin General Manager Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: New Mexico	What happened to the stick? __________________ co-commish: bb-bbcf.net knives out

08-11-2007, 10:39 PM	#14
cartman Death Herald Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Le stelle la notte sono grandi e luminose nel cuore profondo del Texas	Pepto-Bismol is made by a bunch of liars. It says right on the bottle "For Diarrhea". I drank a whole bottle at once before, and I never got diarrhea. But I did poop an enormous brick about 8 days later. __________________ Thinkin' of a master plan 'Cuz ain't nuthin' but sweat inside my hand So I dig into my pocket, all my money is spent So I dig deeper but still comin' up with lint

08-12-2007, 09:24 AM	#16
Suburban Rhythm Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Pittsburgh	Most disturbing thing so far...i saw flere was the last post before me, and I am really upset this thread didn't have a flere paint-diagram. __________________ "Do you guys play fast tempos with odd time signatures?" "Yeah" "Cool!!"

08-11-2007, 08:55 PM	#4
Desmond Banned Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: The Hatch	One time when I was little and we were getting ready for church, I was in the bathroom for a long time, it eventually took a stick to get the thing to flush. On the way to church my mom remarked how the thing must of been 5 pounds. That innocuous wording screwed me up for a good 5-6 years as I would measure my weight based on the size of my poops, "that one looks like a 3 pounder at best, I better load up on some corn in the coming weeks if I wanna make pee wee football this year".

08-11-2007, 09:02 PM	#6
Desmond Banned Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: The Hatch	I was a kid, I didn't know nothin. I always took big poops cause for some reason I had an aversion to going to the bathroom so I would store it way too long.

08-11-2007, 09:09 PM	#9
Desmond Banned Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: The Hatch	I dunno, probably thrown back out back or something. Maybe the neighbors yard.

08-11-2007, 09:38 PM	#11
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	I always make sure I weigh myself before and after dropping the big "holiday" level poops.

08-12-2007, 11:07 AM	#17
Julio Riddols College Prospect Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Bryson Shitty, NC	Turds have necks? I must've missed the chance to take Turd Anatomy in high school. So in theory, I could choke a turd. __________________ Recklessly enthused, stubbornly amused. FUCK EA

08-12-2007, 11:09 AM	#18
larrymcg421 Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Georgia	I really think the board could have survived without this thread. __________________ Top 10 Songs of the Year 1955-Present (1976 Added) Franchise Portfolio Draft Winner Fictional Character Draft Winner Television Family Draft Winner Build Your Own Hollywood Studio Draft Winner

08-12-2007, 07:09 PM	#22
MizzouRah Hall Of Famer Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Troy, Mo	Please tell me you have plenty of Air Wick on hand?

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