At 9:26 CST Billy has returned to us.

[The Afoci]

The drunk guy on the street predicting the end of the world got the first part right, so we are all screwed now.

Anyone know of any speed traps in Tennessee, I got a load of Crawfish on my truck and need to get to Florida quick, so I will be hauling ass. Just help a web connected trucker please.

[The Afoci]

Just to add to my non-sexual crush of the only person to grace this board who has a social life, I have decided to go to Kinkos and get this expanded, printed and framed as it is the one moment in my life I was in the same area as a normal person. We were at this moment equals in the world and it made me happy. It will hang above my bed for when my crush turns sexual.

Front Office Football Central > Hattrick

(Moderated by: FrogMan, HornedFrog Purple)
(Users Browsing this Forum: antbacker, Raven Hawk, BillyMadison, KevinNU7, The Afoci)


If only KevinNU7 didn't come between us Billy, we could have been something special.

[The Afoci]

As quickly as he appeared, he has left. My life is now hollow again.

[Nyarlahotep]

Damn and I missed it. Stupid customers!! Couldn't they have bought their flowers from my roadside stand just a little bit latter so I could have seen this precious moment.

[The Afoci]

It was a good thing I wasn't at a truck stop admiring the cars I would never drive and the women I would never have consentual relations with. If only Billy was here, he could tell me how to spell consentual right, that is if my guess is wrong which I am guessing it is. Off to kinkos for my last momento of him...

[Nyarlahotep]

Billy has been haunting my dreams since he left. As I sleep in a lawn cheer on the side of the road my head is filled with visions of Billy and the amazing life he must have. I see him doing all the things a roadside flower salesman like myself could never do. And that isn't all, he spends so much time doing those things that he doesn't even have five minutes a week to spare for a PBE college football game. Ahhhh, I keep thinking of what it would be like to have such a life, but Billy said I will never get the chance. Maybe I shouldn't have dropped out of school when I was 7, but only Billy can tell me what could have been. Oops, the smell of car exhaust tells me I have another customer.

[The Afoci]

You get to smell exhaust. That is great, the best job I ever had was watching paint dry. Everyone else had breating equipment, not me, I just sat by the vent and got wasted. My mom would give me rides to and from work.[true story] I blame it on why I am the way I am today.

[Nyarlahotep]

Hmmm, I would have thought it was due to your mother taking ten hits a day of triple dipped Timothy Leary or at least some decent white blotter while she was pregnant with you.

[The Afoci]

Nah, I was fine up until the paint job. What she did during her pregnancy with me is what caused me to steal lunchables.

[Nyarlahotep]

Fair enough.

I wonder what Billy is doing right now. Driving a car I will never drive, banging a woman I will never bang, or banging a woman I will never bang while driving a car I will never drive. So much for a nobody with no potential like myself to ponder.

[The Afoci]

I am pretty sure he is banging a car I will never with a woman I will never drive. I use to have potential, then I was born.

[thealmighty]

As a trucker, I have stolen lunchables on any number of occasions...













...but never bologna.

[The Afoci]

When times are tough, I steal bologna. When times are good, I steal ham and turkey. Times were tough.

[Franklinnoble]

This is the most bizarre thread I've seen on FOFC in a long, long time...





Keep up the good work!

[Coffee Warlord]

That's a bold statement, Frankie.

Speaking of franks, I feel a need for a hot dog right now. Since my trucker's wages can't afford more than hot dogs for food, I think I'll go get one right now, from my local gas station. Maybe I'll see someone gassing up a car I'll never drive, and then wonder how I can be STILL UNDEFEATED!

[thealmighty]

Mmmmmm, ham and turkey... with mustard (that I stole at the stop) and onions (that the stop Annie gave me for taking so little of her time).

[The Afoci]

Onions are for people with potential.

[Coffee Warlord]

Who wants a ham?

[The Afoci]

Ham is for people with potential.

[Qwikshot]

Turkey and Hi-C

[Aesyrqwe]

Damn and I wanted some ham too..

-Aes-

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by Aesyrqwe
Damn and I wanted some ham too..

-Aes-

Accept your fate and move on.

[Nyarlahotep]

Originally posted by Franklinnoble
This is the most bizarre thread I've seen on FOFC in a long, long time...


This is what The Afoci and I do to BM threads between selling flowers, driving a truck and dreaming about having the life that BM has.

[terpkristin]

Originally posted by Nyarlahotep
This is what The Afoci and I do to BM threads between selling flowers, driving a truck and dreaming about having the life that BM has.

Between FM dreaming about Excel and you guys dreaming about ::gasp:: BM, now I'm starting to get scared!

:D :p

~terpk

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by Nyarlahotep
This is what The Afoci and I do to BM threads between selling flowers, driving a truck and dreaming about having the life that BM has.

It does help pass the time until I can afford the gun to kill myself. Hell has to be better than the life destined to me.

[The Afoci]

Dola,

And a couple of bullets because I am a lousy shot.

[Nyarlahotep]

I would have though they handed out guns and ammo to newborns in North Dakota.

And Kristin don't be scared. You can admit you have dreams about BM too.

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by terpkristin
Between FM dreaming about Excel and you guys dreaming about ::gasp:: BM, now I'm starting to get scared!

:D :p

~terpk

This comes from someone who has considered doing the nasty for a friendly.

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by Nyarlahotep
I would have though they handed out guns and ammo to newborns in North Dakota.


They do, but being the tough hood I grew up in, I was mugged prior to being able to off myself. Sad really.

[Nyarlahotep]

Originally posted by The Afoci
This comes from someone who has considered doing the nasty for a friendly.

Hmmm. I thought she offered to do the nasty at a friendly. So much for booking the Real Terps FC just to get a sellout.

[The Afoci]

I offered the same thing at my games, sadly "You better guard your daughters or they will be" Les "their" Cherry"s" was the bait and it worked good until everyone had to go the doctor. After that people were less than excited about the promotion.

[Nyarlahotep]

They went to see the doctor? Are you sure they didn't just sober up from the previous night's "Free Beer Helmet with COmplimetary Beers Night"?

[Franklinnoble]

Originally posted by The Afoci
This comes from someone who has considered doing the nasty for a friendly.

Worse, she considered doing the nasty with ME for a friendly...

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by Franklinnoble
Worse, she considered doing the nasty with ME for a friendly...

You said it all.

[mckerney]

She's getting scared now?

Why are you ever here terpkristen, chances are you're one of those girls who we'll never have a chance with because we can't compete with the BillyMadison's of the world. If only I had the skills necessary to do something other than drive a truck. He'll, I can't even do that well, so I guess it's back to selling flowers on the side of the road. I'll only take that job because it affords me plenty of time to be on the internet everyday.

[Nyarlahotep]

Originally posted by Franklinnoble
Worse, she considered doing the nasty with ME for a friendly...

Why is that worse? Are you hideously ugly and repulsive? If so I may have to change your job title from disciple to lackey.

[Nyarlahotep]

Originally posted by mckerney
She's getting scared now?

Why are you ever here terpkristen, chances are you're one of those girls who we'll never have a chance with because we can't compete with the BillyMadison's of the world. If only I had the skills necessary to do something other than drive a truck. He'll, I can't even do that well, so I guess it's back to selling flowers on the side of the road. I'll only take that job because it affords me plenty of time to be on the internet everyday.


Are you the guy that tried to steal my corner the other day. If you are, you should take this warning to heart: try again and I will cut you. Don't fuck with a roadside flower saleman's corner.

[mckerney]

You got it backwards buddy, you tried to steal my flower selling corner. You'd better not go back there or I'll show you what happens, I will show you what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass.

[Nyarlahotep]

I know what happens when I fuck a stranger in the ass. If you show up on my corner again, I will show you what happens when I shove my pruning shears up a stranger's ass.


*edited to correct physical errors...STILL UNDEFEATED!!!

[Easy Mac]

Its too damn hot for a penguin to just be walkin around here..I gotta send him back to the south pole.

Nudie magazine day

STILL UNDEFEATED!!!

Billy Madison is a quote machine.

[mckerney]

Well Easy, you do know that that is a movie for the intellectual and socially elite.

[Nyarlahotep]

That reminds me, I need to renew my subscription to Drunk Chicks. Just in case BM stops by I would like to add that those are women I don't have to dream about.

[Franklinnoble]

Originally posted by Nyarlahotep
Why is that worse? Are you hideously ugly and repulsive? If so I may have to change your job title from disciple to lackey.

No, I'm probably as good looking as any of the other choads around here...

[Nyarlahotep]

Originally posted by Franklinnoble
No, I'm probably as good looking as any of the other choads around here...

Fair enough.

[The Afoci]

I am fairly good looking. My mother tells me that everyday. Its starting to scare me.

[Nyarlahotep]

If you're so good looking, why wouldn't she give you a hand when you were nine?

[terpkristin]

Hmm, so many things to reply to...

Yes, come to think of it, I *did* offer to $&*# for a friendly...
no, I'm not THAT desperate, but if it'll help my odds... ;)

No way in heck is BM ever going to be able to rate with me, but I'm sure he can dream about me. Kinda like he dreams about his team Fabulous! logo...

As for the rest of you, you're more than welcome to do that, too...I mean, a 6' tall karate girl who's played soccer for 15 years...oh and I'm blonde.

Man maybe I *am* sounding desperate. Don't pay any mind to my ramblings of tonight, it's been a LOOOOOOOOOONG week.

~terpk

[The Afoci]

I have a LOOOOONNNNGGGG thing too.



My index finger is huge.

[illinifan999]

Originally posted by terpkristin
Hmm, so many things to reply to...

Yes, come to think of it, I *did* offer to $&*# for a friendly...
no, I'm not THAT desperate, but if it'll help my odds... ;)

No way in heck is BM ever going to be able to rate with me, but I'm sure he can dream about me. Kinda like he dreams about his team Fabulous! logo...

As for the rest of you, you're more than welcome to do that, too...I mean, a 6' tall karate girl who's played soccer for 15 years...oh and I'm blonde.

Man maybe I *am* sounding desperate. Don't pay any mind to my ramblings of tonight, it's been a LOOOOOOOOOONG week.

~terpk

Hi I'm Daniel, and I like to be cocky and funny (tm). I'm young too, not like all these OLD guys here. :)

P.S. Anyone else think that Kristin really really needs to post a pic in the "What the Hell do you Look like" thread?

[Nyarlahotep]

There's a "What the Hell do you Look like" thread?

[mckerney]

Or in this thread, so The Afoci and Nyar can make comments about it.

[Nyarlahotep]

That would be helpful.

[illinifan999]

Very helpful. Remember no clothes or a lot of skin.

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by terpkristin
Hmm, so many things to reply to...

Yes, come to think of it, I *did* offer to $&*# for a friendly...
no, I'm not THAT desperate, but if it'll help my odds... ;)

No way in heck is BM ever going to be able to rate with me, but I'm sure he can dream about me. Kinda like he dreams about his team Fabulous! logo...

As for the rest of you, you're more than welcome to do that, too...I mean, a 6' tall karate girl who's played soccer for 15 years...oh and I'm blonde.

Man maybe I *am* sounding desperate. Don't pay any mind to my ramblings of tonight, it's been a LOOOOOOOOOONG week.

~terpk

It just hit me. She is the lady from The Next Karate Kid.

[Nyarlahotep]

I'm pretty sure that the girl from The Next Karate Kid wasn't very tall.

[The Afoci]

She is probably taking HGH.

[mckerney]

That'd explain it. It might also explain why she thought she could punch through a cinderblock.

[illinifan999]

Originally posted by mckerney
That'd explain it. It might also explain why she thought she could punch through a cinderblock.

I tried that once. Not a good idea.

[Nyarlahotep]

Originally posted by mckerney
That'd explain it. It might also explain why she thought she could punch through a cinderblock.

I think there are some flaws in this theory. The side effects of HGH are carpal tunnel syndrome, arthritis, edema, and elevated blood sugar levels. She must be taking some other drug that would account for her frequent injuries. Perhaps Mr. Miyagi hooked her up with some secret Asian formula.

[mckerney]

Well, don't most people take steroids when they're talking hormones too?

Though one of the sideaffects of steroids is testicle shrinkage, could this be one of the reasons The Afoci couldn't attach a crawfish to her sack?

[FrogMan]

Originally posted by Nyarlahotep
I'm pretty sure that the girl from The Next Karate Kid wasn't very tall.

That girl was Hillary Swank btw...

FM

[Nyarlahotep]

Originally posted by FrogMan
That girl was Hillary Swank btw...

FM


I'm pretty sure we all know that, but your posting it pissed all over our parade.

[FrogMan]

Originally posted by Nyarlahotep
There's a "What the Hell do you Look like" thread?

Nyar, you didn't know.

There you go: linky (http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=9374&highlight=picture+hell)

Kind of a fun thread actually... :)

FM

[Nyarlahotep]

Unless that whole Kristin thing is just a ruse and she is Hillary Swank.

[Nyarlahotep]

Originally posted by FrogMan
Nyar, you didn't know.

There you go: linky (http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=9374&highlight=picture+hell)

Kind of a fun thread actually... :)

FM

I check this forum all the time and never saw that thread or most of the people who posted in it. Hmmmm, I think there is some kind of conspiracy going on here (besides Krisitin/ Hillary's ruse).

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by FrogMan
That girl was Hillary Swank btw...

FM

Just because she is open about liking to do the beast with two backs doesn't mean we have to call her names.

[illinifan999]

Originally posted by FrogMan
Nyar, you didn't know.

There you go: linky (http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=9374&highlight=picture+hell)

Kind of a fun thread actually... :)

FM

Especially shorty's WESTSIDE!!!!!!!! pictures, and all the ensuing priceless quotes that came from making fun of him. :D

[illinifan999]

Page 5 and 6 had me sitting in tears. And shit.