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View Full Version : I lack Closing Skills...Please Help

JimmyWint
05-20-2005, 03:19 PM
Okay, So I like to go out on a Friday evening and have a few adult beverages while admiring the scenery. I even am able to strike up conversations without a hitch...but when it comes to closing the deal I seem to always blow it...How does one become an effective closer?
mhass
05-20-2005, 03:22 PM
This will end very badly for you, Jimmy.
Young Drachma
05-20-2005, 03:22 PM
Play it cool. Bring a friend. Don't be desperate.
Karlifornia
05-20-2005, 03:23 PM
"Do you want to go back to my place so I can turn your face into a petri dish?"
Blackadar
05-20-2005, 03:23 PM
You need to be cocky AND funny.
st.cronin
05-20-2005, 03:23 PM
'Does this smell like chloroform to you?'
TLK
05-20-2005, 03:24 PM
Over/Under--- 103 posts
Young Drachma
05-20-2005, 03:26 PM
roofie colada?
Best. show. ever.
Lathum
05-20-2005, 03:27 PM
roofie colada?
Desnudo
05-20-2005, 03:30 PM
Over/Under--- 103 posts

Given the time of day, and it being Friday, I don't think this thread is going to get the love it deserves.

Jimmy, my advice would be to find a better place for advice on picking up women than a text sim message board.

And show a little butt cleavage. Chicks dig that.
markprior22
05-20-2005, 03:30 PM
'Does this smell like chloroform to you?'

This method sounds very promising!! Let us know how it turns out Jimmy.
Lathum
05-20-2005, 03:31 PM
Tell them about this message board. They'll think thats pretty cool.
WSUCougar
05-20-2005, 03:31 PM
I'll get the beer...someone else pop some popcorn.
BrianD
05-20-2005, 03:37 PM
'Does this smell like chloroform to you?'

I like this one.
Glengoyne
05-20-2005, 03:41 PM
...How does one become an effective loser?
Just by posting here, you are well on your way.http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/%7Efof/forums/images/smilies/wink.gif

Sorry about the quote correction....That is what I thought it said though.
judicial clerk
05-20-2005, 04:49 PM
tell us more about what you are looking for. When you say "close" do you mean get the person's telephone number so that you can get a date, do you mean telling her you have to get up early the next morning as you slip out of her apartment at 3:00 in the morning, or do you mean something in between?

Just tell us more about how your conversations go.
moriarty
05-20-2005, 05:38 PM
I sense Jimmy is the "nice'" guy whom all the girls love to be "friends" with.

Poor Jimmy.

Heh, on the brightside I'm sure all your friends appreciate a good "set up" man.
Julio Riddols
05-20-2005, 05:39 PM
I think if you develop your sinker a bit and find a way to get some more movement on your fastball, you'll be converting more saves in no time.. Figuratively speaking of course. I don't have any idea what your "out" pitch is.
stevew
05-21-2005, 12:41 AM
Maybe you need to go back down to the minors and start getting the easy outs, and work your way up to the big leagues?
dubb93
05-21-2005, 12:43 AM
What you need to do is look as confident as you can. Strut over to a table full of good looking chicks, make sure the table is full of them, the more the better. Walk right up to them and blurt out "Which one of you lucky bitches gets the pleasure of sucking my dick tonight." The key is to keep a straight face and look confident.
Franklinnoble
05-21-2005, 01:20 AM
The Ladies' Man recommends you try the butt.
ThunderingHERD
05-21-2005, 03:26 AM
http://film.onet.pl/oscary/_i/2aktor/tom_cruise.jpg

"Form a tragedy"
Ragone
05-21-2005, 06:20 AM
I would suggest not taking tips from Dan Kolb
illinifan999
05-21-2005, 07:33 AM
Latroy?
Ben E Lou
05-21-2005, 07:38 AM
As I go in to the control panel to check IP's, anyone want to lay odds on how likely this account is to get banned?
FrogMan
05-21-2005, 07:42 AM
As I go in to the control panel to check IP's, anyone want to lay odds on how likely this account is to get banned?
well, if so, he's been flying under the radar for quite a while now...

FM
Ben E Lou
05-21-2005, 07:47 AM
well, if so, he's been flying under the radar for quite a while now...

FMNot really. A common technique of some of our more creative and long-term trolls is/was to create multiple accounts, posting a few harmless times with each account, leaving said accounts alone for months/years at a time, then comign back and using those accounts to troll/create drama when they're bored on a Friday afternoon at work.
Ben E Lou
05-21-2005, 08:01 AM
After further review, it is likely that this guy is legit. Odd? Perhaps. Socially dysfunctional? Highly likely. Coming to the wrong place at the wrong time for advice on this? Most definitely.


But legit? In all likelihood.
WSUCougar
05-21-2005, 10:21 AM
What you need to do is look as confident as you can. Strut over to a table full of good looking chicks, make sure the table is full of them, the more the better. Walk right up to them and blurt out "Which one of you lucky bitches gets the pleasure of sucking my dick tonight." The key is to keep a straight face and look confident.
I'd qualify that as "cocky."
WSUCougar
05-21-2005, 10:22 AM
dola
Latroy?
Gold
korme
05-21-2005, 12:22 PM
After further review, it is likely that this guy is legit. Odd? Perhaps. Socially dysfunctional? Highly likely. Coming to the wrong place at the wrong time for advice on this? Most definitely.


But legit? In all likelihood.
Ripping on him because you *THOUGHT* he was a troll? Highly unnecessary.
Ben E Lou
05-21-2005, 12:27 PM
Ripping on him because you *THOUGHT* he was a troll? Highly unnecessary.Your cause-effect assocations are sorely lacking.
Marmel
05-21-2005, 12:28 PM
Ripping on him because you *THOUGHT* he was a troll? Highly unnecessary.

Shorty, he just likes to remind everyone he can ban people, don't worry about it.
Ben E Lou
05-21-2005, 12:32 PM
Shorty, he just likes to remind everyone he can ban people, don't worry about it.Yours are, too.
DeToxRox
05-21-2005, 01:10 PM
Ask her back to a private chat.
kingnebwsu
05-22-2005, 01:22 AM
The only time I formed an alternate name to ask a question about my romantic life (because some of my friends patrol this board), my thread was shut down. There were like 15 responses, none of which were helpful. That's when I learned not to count on FOFC for serious life advice. BTW, I never got a chance to reply to my original post in that thread (Shrug)
flere-imsaho
05-22-2005, 03:26 PM
Your cause-effect assocations are sorely lacking.

How is it that a guy, asking for advice on how to more successfully pick up women, is "socially dysfunctional"?
SunDevil
05-22-2005, 05:10 PM
Try the swirl or the pinch.
BrianD
05-22-2005, 06:25 PM
Try the swirl or the pinch.

Is that a clockwise swirl, or a counter-clockwise swirl?
dawgfan
05-22-2005, 06:36 PM
After further review, it is likely that this guy is legit. Odd? Perhaps. Socially dysfunctional? Highly likely. Coming to the wrong place at the wrong time for advice on this? Most definitely.


But legit? In all likelihood.

So let me see if I'm following this correctly - you publicly speculate this thread was started by a troll, and when you find out it wasn't, not only do you not apologize, you insult him?

Poor form SkyDog, poor form.
stevew
05-22-2005, 06:41 PM
So let me see if I'm following this correctly - you publicly speculate this thread was started by a troll, and when you find out it wasn't, not only do you
not apologize, you insult him?

Poor form SkyDog, poor form.

At least he didnt suggest that he was a joystick jockey.
timmynausea
05-22-2005, 06:49 PM
As I go in to the control panel to check IP's, anyone want to lay odds on how likely this account is to get banned?

For a second I thought IP's was in reference to Innings pitched and this guy was going to get banned for not really being a closer. (Look at all these innings! This loser is a mediocre middle reliever trying to claim he's a closer.)
Schmidty
05-22-2005, 06:49 PM
Wow. I hadn't even read this thread after SD apparantly posted. Calling a guy socially dysfunctional for no reason? Nice job.

I hadn't really had a problem with SD before the past couple of days, but this from a guy who is trying to keep the peace and run the board cleanly? Poor.

Maybe that puts my on his hit list, but I just call it the way I see it (same way he claims to).
JimmyWint
05-23-2005, 12:16 PM
Well, I did not have much better luck last weekend, but I managed to lay the foundation for the big close next weekend. I was at a bar that had ladies night, and it just so happened that there was a ratio of like 5:1 women...so that helped my cause! I would say my biggest problem is trying to shed that "nice Guy" image. I think I may go out and get one of those temporary tattoos and see if that helps. Do tattoos still convey the bad boy image?

Also, who is SkyDog and why did he call me a troll? I have posted and read posts for a long time now. I was very saddened to be attacked at such a personal level. Perhaps I could let it slide though.
rkmsuf
05-23-2005, 12:21 PM
The key is timing. Lay low and when the moment presents it's self yell out

"Times up. Leroy....Jeeeeeennnnnkkkkkkkkkiiiiiiinnnnnnnssss!"

Grab one, throw her in your car and speed away.

Works every time.
Desnudo
05-23-2005, 12:36 PM
Do tattoos still convey the bad boy image?


I would say no, since everyone and their mother has one now. If you want to convey the bad boy image, try black leather chaps and a matching studded leather hat.

TBH, I can sense why you're not having much luck at bars. In all seriousness, if all you want is a one night stand, be an arrogant ass. You'll strike out a lot, but you will take someone home eventually.
rkmsuf
05-23-2005, 12:36 PM
I would say no, since everyone and their mother has one now.

I'm telling Mike Tyson you said that.
rkmsuf
05-23-2005, 12:39 PM
You are so street

Wurd
flere-imsaho
05-23-2005, 12:39 PM
I think it's important to understand what the opposite of the "nice guy" is. Because it's not the "bad boy". The "nice guy" is the guy who's pleasant, funny, attentive to the woman and, thus, completely a non-challenge to her. When you get into this role, you become the "fall-back" option for the woman. Unless you happen to look like Brad Pitt, she's going to put you in the "fall-back" bracket and keep looking for bigger fish.

The opposite of "nice guy", then, is "can take it or leave it guy". He's the guy who's fun, interesting, at least somewhat charismatic, and gives the woman the impression that if he happens to not get her number, it's cool, because he has other options.

Recently there was a thread here that devolved into a conversation amongst the married men (myself included) about how we all found ourselves much more attractive to the opposite sex once we got married. Why is this? Take a look at the description for the opposite of "nice guy". Ring any bells? Yeah, we'll talk to women in social settings, we'll be smart & funny, and we're probably at least a little charismatic, but at the end of the day, we don't really care if we get her number. We're a challenge, unattainable, and it drives them nuts.

(Note: I've found that once women hit their late 20s, this doesn't apply anymore, so don't anyone view this as a blanket statement).

So, my advice: Be yourself, be cool, show enough interest, but not too much, and give the impression that you have everything you need. Best of luck.
Desnudo
05-23-2005, 12:39 PM
I'm telling Mike Tyson you said that.

You are so street
Franklinnoble
05-23-2005, 12:43 PM
Put on your robe and wizard hat already...
Anthony
06-24-2006, 08:42 AM
i miss the good ole days when SD was the only dictator and every decision was questioned. so much drama in the air. each thread an opportunity for a boxing/banning.

off with the multi-mods. bring back the Banninator.
Ben E Lou
06-24-2006, 09:55 AM
i miss the good ole days when SD was the only dictator and every decision was questioned. so much drama in the air. each thread an opportunity for a boxing/banning.

off with the multi-mods. bring back the Banninator.:D

After further review, it is likely that this guy is legit. Odd? Perhaps. Socially dysfunctional? Highly likely. Coming to the wrong place at the wrong time for advice on this? Most definitely.


But legit? In all likelihood.I always have been an excellent judge of character, even in the face of scorn.

So let me see if I'm following this correctly - you publicly speculate this thread was started by a troll, and when you find out it wasn't, not only do you not apologize, you insult him?

Poor form SkyDog, poor form.I know a nimrod when I see a nimrod, thank you very much. :)

Oh...the fun I could have with this...