I can't even think of a title for this article..

[Mustang]

Not 1.. Not 2.. But THREE guys thought this was a good idea.. what... the.. f??



hxxp://www.madison.com/wsj/mad/top/index.php?ntid=97619&ntpid=4



Three men charged with attempting to rob a grave Saturday in Cassville were doing so because one of the men had seen the dead woman's obituary photo and wanted to have sex with her body, according to a criminal complaint filed Tuesday in Grant County Circuit Court.

The men had stopped at a Wal-Mart and bought condoms before heading to the cemetery, police said.

"One of the crimes we study in abnormal criminal behavior is necrophilia. I guess that would be the motive," Grant County Sheriff Keith Govier said Tuesday, adding that he had never before dealt with such a case.

Govier said the men apparently didn't know the dead woman.

"They just saw her obituary picture in the newspaper," he said.

Cassville Police Officer Brent McDonald was sent to St. Charles Cemetery in Cassville about 11 p.m. Saturday on a citizen's report of a suspicious vehicle.

McDonald found Alex Grunke, 20, of Ridgeway, dressed in black.

Grunke was "extremely nervous" and "sweating on a very cool night," McDonald said in an interview. Grunke told McDonald that two other men were in the cemetery digging up the grave of Laura Tennessen, 20, who died Aug. 27 after being thrown from the back of a motorcycle.

At Tennessen's grave, officers found a hole that uncovered the concrete vault that encases the coffin. The two men were gone.

Sunday morning, Nicholas Grunke, 20, of Ridgeway, and Dustin Radke, 20, of Dodgeville, were found walking along Highway 81 in Beetown, about eight miles from the cemetery. The Grunkes are twin brothers.

Each man was charged with being party to attempted third- degree sexual assault and being party to attempted misdemeanor theft. Bond was set at $1,000 each for the Grunke brothers and $1,500 for Radke.

According to the complaint, Radke told police that Nicholas Grunke asked him to help dig up the grave so that Grunke could take the corpse behind his house in Ridgeway and have sexual intercourse with the body. On the way to the cemetery, the men stopped at the Dodgeville Wal-Mart and bought condoms, Radke told police.

Govier said he spoke with members of the Tennessen family about the incident.

"I can't come to the word to describe (what they're going through)," he said. "Having to put their daughter to rest, and then having to deal with this. It opens up wounds that I don't know anybody could experience."

The Rev. John Norder, Laura Tennessen's priest at St. Charles Catholic Church, said she was the type of person who was always smiling and never judged others.

"She always said, 'You know, you never know what people have been through in their lives.' (She was) a really good kid."

[rkmsuf]

Good to see the boys were using protection.

[Ksyrup]

Given the intelligence they displayed in even coming up with this idea, I think it's probably too much to assume the condoms were to keep from leaving their DNA as evidence. Most likely, they were concerned with getting her pregnant.

[rkmsuf]

Given the intelligence they displayed in even coming up with this idea, I think it's probably too much to assume the condoms were to keep from leaving their DNA as evidence. Most likely, they were concerned with getting her pregnant.

I think the condoms might have been for other horseplay that was planned for later that evening.

[MikeVic]

How hot must her obituary photo been if three guys wanted to screw her CORPSE??

[Ksyrup]

I think the condoms might have been for other horseplay that was planned for later that evening.

Sadly, I don't think they would have had the energy...

[tanglewood]

How hot must her obituary photo been if three guys wanted to screw her CORPSE??

http://www.thonline.com/photo_archives/obitpics/Tennessen0829.jpg

[rkmsuf]

whoa

[Ksyrup]

whoa

Disappointing. I was expecting a "There's a WalMart down the street" comment out of you.

[rkmsuf]

Disappointing. I was expecting a "There's a WalMart down the street" comment out of you.

If I ever took up corpse banging she would be high on the list. Right after Estelle Getty.

[Pumpy Tudors]

Seriously, how does the idea of having sex with a corpse even get to the point of action? I will give these guys the benefit of the doubt and assume that they weren't actively scouting the obituaries for women who were hot, so how did it go? They're just looking through the newspaper, they see that picture, and then they say, "I'd hit it! Um, well, come on! Let's hit it!"?

During the drive/walk to Wal-Mart, or during the wait in line to pay for the condoms, or during the trip to the cemetary, they don't even realize how ridiculous it all is? Hell, while they were in Wal-Mart, they couldn't find a halfway decent-looking girl to drool over?

It's just hard to imagine being dead set (pun intended, I guess) on having sex with a corpse. It's even more bizarre that that particular picture was enough to make them go through that much effort to attempt this. I just wish I could have heard the conversation as these guys actually greenlighted this whole scheme.

[Ksyrup]

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/graphics/art3/0906061grave1.jpg

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/graphics/art3/0906061grave2.gif

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/graphics/art3/0906061grave3.gif

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/graphics/art3/0906061grave4.gif

[Pumpy Tudors]

Well, after seeing the guys' pictures, I understand how they'd have trouble picking up a living woman.

[rkmsuf]

Which one was gonna pork her?

[Pumpy Tudors]

Which one was gonna pork her?
The hot one. Duh. The hot guys always get the chicks.

[Ksyrup]

I thought the first guy was Emo Phillips' illegitimate kid.

[sabotai]

Ahhh, I see. The first two are aliens, and they used some kind of mind control device to get the 3rd guy to go along with it.

It's all starting to fall into place....

[WSUCougar]

"People" like this have no place in a civilized society. Just my two bits.

[st.cronin]

When you say Wisconsin, you've said it all.

[bulletsponge]

shes cute. but not dig up her corpse and bang it cute

these pervs are sick. i guess a stay at "bang you in your bum" prison might give them some perspective about necrophilia

[BrianD]

We do get some odd people up here. Do you think they understood that she wasn't still going to look like that when they got to her?

[BrianD]

dola,

Not that that was the only problem...

[bulletsponge]

We do get some odd people up here. Do you think they understood that she wasn't still going to look like that when they got to her?

i doubt "Thinking" is a strong suit of these guys

[Groundhog]

Is that Elijah Wood with the glasses?

http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Sbk/25/lotr3_nzp_05_0025.jpg

[Craptacular]

Having some friends from this area, and seeing some of their neighbors, it's sad to say that this was not as shocking to me as you'd think it would be.

[Greyroofoo]

Damn, all three were about 6 feet tall and 140 lbs.

[path12]

shes cute. but not dig up her corpse and bang it cute

This is damn near signature worthy.

[Craptacular]

OK, I didn't even notice something the first time through. These guys are from Ridgeway and Dodgeville, which are actually closer to Madison than Cassville (where the grave was). In fact, Cassville is about 60 miles from Dodgeville and 70 miles from Ridgeway. These guys weren't from down the street, or in the next town over. They drove for more than an hour to do this, then planned to drive more than an hour back to Ridgeway with the corpse.

[kcchief19]

I thought the first guy was Emo Phillips' illegitimate kid.
Are we sure it's not?

[Pumpy Tudors]

OK, I didn't even notice something the first time through. These guys are from Ridgeway and Dodgeville, which are actually closer to Madison than Cassville (where the grave was). In fact, Cassville is about 60 miles from Dodgeville and 70 miles from Ridgeway. These guys weren't from down the street, or in the next town over. They drove for more than an hour to do this, then planned to drive more than an hour back to Ridgeway with the corpse.
Jeez, that makes me stand behind my earlier post even more than before. Good grief.

During the drive/walk to Wal-Mart, or during the wait in line to pay for the condoms, or during the trip to the cemetary, they don't even realize how ridiculous it all is? Hell, while they were in Wal-Mart, they couldn't find a halfway decent-looking girl to drool over?

It's just hard to imagine being dead set (pun intended, I guess) on having sex with a corpse. It's even more bizarre that that particular picture was enough to make them go through that much effort to attempt this. I just wish I could have heard the conversation as these guys actually greenlighted this whole scheme.

[LionsFan10]

The cops frown on this activity, shit. There go my plans for this weekend ...

Lame. :(

[molson]

shes cute. but not dig up her corpse and bang it cute



I've been looking for a new pick up line for a while - thanks.

[Craptacular]

Update:

hxxp://www.channel3000.com/news/9861183/detail.html

The charges of attempted sexual assault were dropped, because Wisconsin, in addition to 33 other states (?!?!), does not have laws against necrophilia. They are still being charged with attempted misdemeanor theft and criminal damage to property. How fast do you think we'll see 34 new state laws??

[Poli]

I may have missed it, but I'm a little surprised there hasn't been a "I'd hit it" comment. :)

[GrantDawg]

shes cute. but not dig up her corpse and bang it cute

This is damn near signature worthy.



I think it should be the new way of judging hotness. "Is she hot enough to dig up her corpse and bang it?"

[CraigSca]

Oh, those crazy Grunke twins!

[WSUCougar]

Who dug this thread back up? Oh...

[korme]

Man this thread is just fucked up altogether and I do not like. :(

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Officer, honest... I just wanted to get some head!

[tabucko]

As sick as the activity of having sex with the corpse may be, at least some of the people of Wisconsin are evolving a little anyway. First, Ed Gein was wearing people's skin, and then Jeffery Dahmer was eating skin - these boys just want to lay with it.

[rkmsuf]

Wheeeeeeee!!!!!!

-----------------------------------------


More From The Bay City Times | Subscribe To The Bay City Times
Area man charged with bestiality
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
By TIM YOUNKMAN
TIMES WRITER
A 44-year-old Saginaw man remains jailed today on charges of bestiality after he was seen engaged in sexual acts with a dead dog, Michigan State Police troopers said.

Ronald Kuch was arrested after police searched the area of Midland and Carter roads Friday for a man who ran away from a Bay County Animal Control officer. The entire incident was within view of a nearby day care center.

At his arraignment on Monday, Kuch demanded a preliminary examination in Bay County District Court. District Judge Craig Alston ordered him to remain jailed in lieu of $500,000 bond pending a hearing on the evidence Nov. 6.

Kuch is charged with crimes against nature and assaulting a law enforcement officer.

Troopers said a woman from the day care center called for animal control because there was a dead dog near the property that had been hit by a car several days earlier.

Before officers could arrive, the man showed up and began engaging in sexual acts with the dog, police said. The animal control officer also reported seeing Kuch involved in the sex act and as he approached him, Kuch shoved him away and ran off.

State troopers searched the area and found the man hiding in the attic of a nearby house.

Officers determined that the house belonged to the man's girlfriend and later learned that the dog, a black Labrador retriever, also belonged to the girlfriend. The dog had been dead for four or five days.

The official charge of crimes against nature carries a maximum penalty of 15 years in prison. If the person is a repeat offender, the maximum is life in prison.

http://www.mlive.com/news/bctimes/index.ssf?/base/news-8/116170304311310.xml&coll=4

[Ksyrup]

"Crimes against nature"?! Like, is this a crime against decomposition, worms, or what?

[rkmsuf]

there's something hot about the dog belonging to his girlfriend

[Desnudo]

A dog day afternoon

[rkmsuf]

"Crimes against nature"?! Like, is this a crime against decomposition, worms, or what?

Is this scenario not on the bar exam?

[Groundhog]

there's something hot about the dog belonging to his girlfriend

Looks like he'd had the urge awhile and wasn't about to let a little thing like decomposition rob him of his pleasure.

[MrBug708]

Rigamortis (sp?) wasn't the only stiff thing on the dog it seems...

[Raiders Army]

What's that called? Necrobestiality?

[mckerney]

This thread reminds me of this from overheardatcollege:

Guy #1: So, if you have sex with a dead child, is that pedophilia or necrophilia? It can’t be both, right?
Guy #2: I’m pretty sure that it’s necrophilia, because you can’t ask the person how old they are and make sure they’re not a kid.
Guy #1: But what if I don’t realize that they’re dead either?
Guy #2: Good question.
Girl: Uh, that’s not a good question. If I see a public safety guy, I’m having you both arrested for being the dumbest people on the planet.

[bulletsponge]

thats freakin sick!


who "dug up" this old thread

[rkmsuf]

Wisconsin strikes again!
----------------------------------------------




Judge Rules On Dead Deer Sex
Man who had relations with animal carcass must stand trial
NOVEMBER 22--A Wisconsin man who argued that he could not be prosecuted for having sex with a deer because the animal was dead at the time, was dealt a legal setback today when a judge rejected a motion seeking dismissal of a criminal charge against him. As a result of Circuit Court Judge Michael Lucci's ruling, defendant Bryan James Hathaway, 20, will have to stand trial for his alleged assault last month of the deer carcass. In his ruling (a copy of which you'll find below), Lucci denied a November 7 motion filed by Hathaway's lawyer, Fredric Anderson, which argued that the deer ceased being an animal upon its death (Hathaway, pictured at right, allegedly found the carcass in a roadside ditch). Anderson contended that a charge of sexual gratification with an animal could not be sustained because "the term 'animal' refers to a living organism, not a carcass." Lucci, however, noted that "most people understand that an animal does not necessarily cease being or qualifying as an animal or even being referred to as an animal once it's dead." He added that the "primary focus" of Wisconsin's criminal statute dealing with crimes against sexual morality is on "human behavior and on protecting sexual morality in the community, and not necessarily on animal protection." (4 pages)



E-mail story to a friend.




< 1 2 3 4 >



hxxp://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1122061deer1.html

[Ksyrup]

It's the most wonderful time of the year.
With the kids a-grave digging,
and everyone telling you,
"Fuck that dead deer!"
It's the most wonderful time of the year!

[CU Tiger]

Damn imagine how bad the hookers in these parts must feel.

I mean, Ive seen some ugly women but never dig up a dead girl or screw a dead dog/deer instead of HER ugly....

Sheesh...Is $20 that hard to come by?

[Anthony]

Damn imagine how bad the hookers in these parts must feel.

I mean, Ive seen some ugly women but never dig up a dead girl or screw a dead dog/deer instead of HER ugly....

Sheesh...Is $20 that hard to come by?

hookers have STD's. when was the last time you heard a deer having herpes?

[CU Tiger]

True...

But deer ticks have to be waaaay harder to explain than crabs...

And uhhh lets no even get started on maggots....

[Izulde]

Damn imagine how bad the hookers in these parts must feel.

I mean, Ive seen some ugly women but never dig up a dead girl or screw a dead dog/deer instead of HER ugly....

Sheesh...Is $20 that hard to come by?

The W states tend to be pretty low on the hot girl quotient.

[heybrad]

This reminds me of a Robert Schimmel joke where he talked about how an animal necrophiliac would defend himself.

"Honest Your Honor, I thought the cat was alive while I was fucking it!"

[bulletsponge]

It's the most wonderful time of the year.
With the kids a-grave digging,
and everyone telling you,
"Fuck that dead deer!"
It's the most wonderful time of the year!


thats good, but if ya want to give wierd al a run for his money you need to do a whole song http://www.smileyhut.com/eat_drink/drunk.gif

[Ksyrup]

I think one verse is all necrophilia deserves. Which is why I don't listen to black metal.

[rkmsuf]

Spanaway man first arrest under state's new bestiality law
By The Associated Press


TACOMA, Wash. — A Spanaway man believed to be the first person in the state charged under Washington's new bestiality law bailed out of the Pierce County Jail this morning.

Pierce County prosecutors say 26-year-old Michael Patrick McPhail was caught by his wife on Wednesday night having intercourse on the back porch with their four-year-old female pit bull terrier.

The wife took photos with a cell phone and called police.

Pierce County sheriff's spokesman Ed Troyer says "There's pretty clear proof what happened to this dog."

McPhail was arrested that night.

Charged with animal cruelty, he could be sentenced to a year in jail if convicted.

The bestiality law took effect in June. It was prompted by an incident in Enumclaw where a man died after having sex with a horse.

hxxp://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2003314312_webbestiality20.html?fark

[BrianD]

The bestiality law took effect in June. It was prompted by an incident in Enumclaw where a man died after having sex with a horse.


So the bestiality law was passed to protect people?

[Ksyrup]

Spanaway man first arrest under state's new bestiality law
By The Associated Press


TACOMA, Wash. — A Spanaway man believed to be the first person in the state charged under Washington's new bestiality law bailed out of the Pierce County Jail this morning.

Pierce County prosecutors say 26-year-old Michael Patrick McPhail was caught by his wife on Wednesday night having intercourse on the back porch with their four-year-old female pit bull terrier.

The wife took photos with a cell phone and called police.

Pierce County sheriff's spokesman Ed Troyer says "There's pretty clear proof what happened to this dog."

McPhail was arrested that night.

Charged with animal cruelty, he could be sentenced to a year in jail if convicted.

The bestiality law took effect in June. It was prompted by an incident in Enumclaw where a man died after having sex with a horse.

hxxp://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2003314312_webbestiality20.html?fark

No pics pls thx.

[rkmsuf]

If you are the wife do you call the cops?

Man those pictures should go out on their christmas cards.

[Bee]

Spanaway man first arrest under state's new bestiality law
By The Associated Press


TACOMA, Wash. — A Spanaway man believed to be the first person in the state charged under Washington's new bestiality law bailed out of the Pierce County Jail this morning.

Pierce County prosecutors say 26-year-old Michael Patrick McPhail was caught by his wife on Wednesday night having intercourse on the back porch with their four-year-old female pit bull terrier.

The wife took photos with a cell phone and called police.

Pierce County sheriff's spokesman Ed Troyer says "There's pretty clear proof what happened to this dog."

McPhail was arrested that night.

Charged with animal cruelty, he could be sentenced to a year in jail if convicted.

The bestiality law took effect in June. It was prompted by an incident in Enumclaw where a man died after having sex with a horse.

hxxp://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2003314312_webbestiality20.html?fark


How ugly does this guy's wife have to be....

[rkmsuf]

How ugly does this guy's wife have to be....

or how cute is the dog?

[Ksyrup]

Christmas at the in-laws is going to be awfully uncomfortable for that guy.

[Warhammer]

Dog - Man's best friend. Now with benefits!

[rkmsuf]

Christmas at the in-laws is going to be awfully uncomfortable for that guy.

Just think of the hilarity many years later though when the family gets together.

"Remember the time grampy was caught fucking that dog? Tell the story again grampa."

[Ryche]

So much wrongness in one thread, I can't stop laughing.

On the original subjects of the thread, who's more messed up, the kid wanting to have sex with the corpse or his friends for agreeing to help him do it? That's what I'd call the ultimate wingmen.

[rkmsuf]

So much wrongness in one thread, I can't stop laughing.

On the original subjects of the thread, who's more messed up, the kid wanting to have sex with the corpse or his friends for agreeing to help him do it? That's what I'd call the ultimate wingmen.

who says they wouldn't have triple teamed her? I mean as corpses go she was pretty hot.

[ice4277]

who says they wouldn't have triple teamed her? I mean as corpses go she was pretty hot.

Those would be the sloppiest seconds EVER.

[rkmsuf]

Those would be the sloppiest seconds EVER.

I'm told you pretty much always go out your way to go first in these situations.

Theoretically I guess all 3 could partake at the same time though.

[DeToxRox]

Damnit.

It's interspecies erotica.

[Telle]

You know, I can't help but agree with the guy who's saying that once an animal's dead then it's no longer bestiality. Because let's say you went and bought a roasting chicken at the grocery store.. if you went at it with the chicken, would they say that's bestiality? Probably not. But at what point does the chicken cease to be an animal and instead become an inanimate object? And what if you had a pet that has passed or an animal that you hunted stuffed by a taxidermist? Would that be beastiality? I would think that that would also be considered an inanimate object.

Ok, I think I'm going to take my warped mind and go home now..

[Samdari]

How ugly does this guy's wife have to be....

Doesn't really really hot but unwilling have the same effect? In those inclined to bag the dog.

And if one was going to decide to "hit" a dog, why wouldn't you choose something meeker than a pit bull?

[rkmsuf]

horse sex is the new hotness
--------------------------------------


Sundance picks Seattle film on horse-sex case
The Seattle Times ^ | Thursday, November 30, 2006 | A&E briefs


Posted on 12/01/2006 10:12:32 AM PST by DogByte6RER


Sundance picks Seattle film on horse-sex case

The Sundance Film Festival announced Wednesday that Seattle filmmaker Robinson Devor's documentary "Zoo" has been accepted into the 2007 festival's documentary competition. The film examines the widely reported case of an Enumclaw man who died in 2005 after having sex with a horse.

"Zoo" is one of 16 documentaries selected for competition (out of 856 submitted), all of which will screen as world premieres. Devor has had two previous films at Sundance: the made-in-Seattle drama "Police Beat," and "The Woman Chaser."

The Sundance Film Festival will take place Jan. 18-28 in Park City, Utah.


hxxp://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1747031/posts

[Bee]

Doesn't really really hot but unwilling have the same effect?

Hasn't had that effect on me so far during my marriage.

[rkmsuf]

A boom shaka-lacka.

------------------------------------

Sheep sex immigrant caged

By ALASTAIR TAYLOR
November 03, 2006


COMMENT ON THIS STORY

AN asylum seeker had sex with a ewe as its “male partner” looked on, a court heard.

Factory worker Hidyat Amin — who came to Britain from Iraq — romped with the sheep in a farm shed.

The 30-year-old Kurd was trapped by DNA evidence after his underpants and socks were found at the scene.

Shocked farmer Frank Davidson said: “The ewe was not very well and not very happy.” He told cops he feared “something funny” was going on involving his sheep and Shetland ponies.

A man had been seen acting suspiciously under a full moon and was spotted several times previously lurking in the farmyard.

On one occasion he casually smoked a cigarette before driving off, Hull Crown Court heard.

The sheep and a ram had been isolated as part of treatment for foot rot, at Mr Davidson’s farm in Preston, East Yorks.

He said he had found pants and socks nearby on THREE occasions as well as bread crumbs — apparently used to entice the animals.

Amin was found guilty by a jury of having sex with an animal. Prosecutor Caroline Wigin said DNA swabs suggested a billion to one chance it was not him.



Scene of shame ... sheep on the farm



Amin, who fears deportation after three years in the UK, was sentenced to six months’ jail. But he could be out next week because of time already spent behind bars.

Judge Michael Mettyear told him: “The suspicion is that your offending was not limited to this one offence.”


hxxp://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2006510113,00.html

[Pumpy Tudors]

It's the most wonderful time of the year.
With the kids a-grave digging,
and everyone telling you,
"Fuck that dead deer!"
It's the most wonderful time of the year!
This is still cracking me up.

[KWhit]

On one occasion he casually smoked a cigarette before driving off.

He was also overheard asking, "Was it good for ewe?"

[st.cronin]

The hot child molester thread was better.

[rkmsuf]

giddy up!

----------------------------------

Security setup records teen sexually abusing barn horse

By Gwyneth Gibby
Gazette-Times reporter





Suspect arrested on charges of burglary, sex abuse of animal

A Corvallis teenager is facing charges of burglary and sexual abuse of an animal after being arrested last week at a barn in northeast Corvallis.

The teenager, 17 at the time of his arrest, was arrested by Deputy Randy Hiner and Corvallis Police Officer Jason Harvey at the barn in the 4000 block of Northeast Minnesota Avenue at about 2:30 a.m. on June 7.

The owners of the property had reported assaults on the horse before, once on July 30, 2006, and again on Feb. 9 of this year. After the July incident, the owners noticed the halter of their mare had been moved. So the owners installed a video surveillance camera inside the barn.

In February 2007, the owners again noticed a halter and some food dishes had been moved in the barn. When they checked the video from the surveillance camera, they saw a male who they estimated being between 16 and 18 years old, sexually assaulting the horse. He wore a jacket and long pants and a baseball cap. They were not able to identify the suspect from the video.

Deputy Clay Stephens, who viewed the video, said the youth seemed very practiced, not hurried but not wasting any time. Stephens said he seemed to be following a “very concise, deliberate, well-thought-out plan.”

After the February incident, the owners installed a silent alarm on the barn. On June 7, at around 2:30 a.m., the alarm sounded in the house. The owners looked at the video monitor and saw the suspect preparing to assault the horse. They called the sheriff’s office. The suspect had gotten into the locked barn by squeezing behind one panel of a sliding door.

The suspect was charged with second degree burglary, a Class C felony, and sexual abuse of an animal, a Class A misdemeanor. He was taken to the Linn-Benton Detention Center where he was arraigned and released later the same day. His next court appearance is a hearing June 20.
Security setup records teen sexually abusing barn horse

By Gwyneth Gibby
Gazette-Times reporter





Suspect arrested on charges of burglary, sex abuse of animal

A Corvallis teenager is facing charges of burglary and sexual abuse of an animal after being arrested last week at a barn in northeast Corvallis.

The teenager, 17 at the time of his arrest, was arrested by Deputy Randy Hiner and Corvallis Police Officer Jason Harvey at the barn in the 4000 block of Northeast Minnesota Avenue at about 2:30 a.m. on June 7.

The owners of the property had reported assaults on the horse before, once on July 30, 2006, and again on Feb. 9 of this year. After the July incident, the owners noticed the halter of their mare had been moved. So the owners installed a video surveillance camera inside the barn.

In February 2007, the owners again noticed a halter and some food dishes had been moved in the barn. When they checked the video from the surveillance camera, they saw a male who they estimated being between 16 and 18 years old, sexually assaulting the horse. He wore a jacket and long pants and a baseball cap. They were not able to identify the suspect from the video.

Deputy Clay Stephens, who viewed the video, said the youth seemed very practiced, not hurried but not wasting any time. Stephens said he seemed to be following a “very concise, deliberate, well-thought-out plan.”

After the February incident, the owners installed a silent alarm on the barn. On June 7, at around 2:30 a.m., the alarm sounded in the house. The owners looked at the video monitor and saw the suspect preparing to assault the horse. They called the sheriff’s office. The suspect had gotten into the locked barn by squeezing behind one panel of a sliding door.

The suspect was charged with second degree burglary, a Class C felony, and sexual abuse of an animal, a Class A misdemeanor. He was taken to the Linn-Benton Detention Center where he was arraigned and released later the same day. His next court appearance is a hearing June 20.
http://www.gtconnect.com/articles/2007/06/15/news/community/3loc01_horseabuse.txt

[Ksyrup]

So nice you had to post it twice?

[rkmsuf]

giddy up!

[Ksyrup]

Shouldn't that be Gibby up?

[Ksyrup]

"Stephens said he seemed to be following a “very concise, deliberate, well-thought-out plan.”


Well, 2 outta 3 ain't bad....

[bulletsponge]

wtf

[rkmsuf]

wtf

Don't tell me you are new to the "I can't even think of a title for this article" thread.

Welcome!

[Ksyrup]

Sit a spell, do some readin'.

[Desnudo]

yee haw

[bulletsponge]

Don't tell me you are new to the "I can't even think of a title for this article" thread.

Welcome!

i cant believe someone "dug up" this old thread :D :rolleyes:

[rkmsuf]

Game on! It's legal!!!!!!!

----------------------------------------------

Accused Grave Robbers Dodge Sex Charges

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By RYAN J. FOLEY

MADISON, Wis. - Three men who dug up a young woman's corpse to have sex with it after seeing her obituary photo cannot be charged with attempted sexual assault because Wisconsin has no law against necrophilia, an appeals court ruled Thursday.

A judge was correct to dismiss the charges against twin brothers Nicholas and Alexander Grunke and Dustin Radke, all 21, because lawmakers never intended to criminalize sex with a corpse, the District 4 Court of Appeals said in a 3-0 ruling.

The three men went to a cemetery in Cassville in southwestern Wisconsin on Sept. 2 to remove the body of Laura Tennessen, 20, who had been killed the week before in a motorcycle crash.

The men used shovels to reach her grave. They abandoned their plan and were eventually arrested after a vehicle drove into the cemetery and reported suspicious behavior, authorities said.

They said the men had seen an obituary of Tennessen with her photo and wanted to dig up her body to have sexual intercourse. Such an act is known as necrophilia.






The men were charged with attempted third-degree sexual assault and misdemeanor attempted theft charges. But Grant County Circuit Judge George Curry dismissed the sexual assault charges in September, saying no Wisconsin law addressed necrophilia. Prosecutors appealed his ruling.

At issue is a provision in the sexual assault law saying criminal penalties apply "whether a victim is dead or alive at the time of the sexual contact or sexual intercourse."

The appeals court said the law was ambiguous but the most reasonable interpretation was that it does not ban necrophilia. Instead, the court said, the law was meant to make sure prosecutors could bring sexual assault charges in rape-murder cases in which the victim ends up dead.

Outrage over the case might soon change the law.

Sen. Dale Schultz, R-Richland Center, introduced legislation Wednesday that would make having sex with a corpse a felony with punishment of up to 6 years in prison and a $10,000 fine. The bill would levy the same penalties against anyone who intentionally disturbs a burial site or a buried human corpse.

A service of the Associated Press(AP)


http://www.chippewa.com/articles/2007/07/26/ap/strange/d8qkijio0.txt

[BrianD]

One would think that a law against necrophilia shouldn't be necessary. This is just one of those activities that shouldn't even occur to people to do.

That said, how do you determine an appropriate punishment for this? While disgusting, it is a pretty victimless crime. You could almost argue that just being successful in the crime is punishment enough.

[Passacaglia]

Sen. Dale Schultz, R-Richland Center, introduced legislation Wednesday that would make having sex with a corpse a felony with punishment of up to 6 years in prison and a $10,000 fine. The bill would levy the same penalties against anyone who intentionally disturbs a burial site or a buried human corpse.

Doesn't that leave you back where you started? No additional punishment for having sex with the corpse?

[Celeval]

Well, it would apply if the corpse was not yet buried.

[Ksyrup]

Doesn't that leave you back where you started? No additional punishment for having sex with the corpse?

It woudl be an additional, separate charge against them, if I read it correctly.

[Wolfpack]

That said, how do you determine an appropriate punishment for this? While disgusting, it is a pretty victimless crime. You could almost argue that just being successful in the crime is punishment enough.

Well, if it were a truly punishing thing, people wouldn't actually want to do it. Maybe it's sick and disgusting, but apparently these chaps didn't think of it as punishing in a bad way.

As for the victimless nature of it, well I'd wager that the kin of the departed should not like to think about such activities desecrating the earthly remains of a loved one. Even more so in this case since this wasn't some 90-year-old granny who'd lived out her lifespan, but a 20-year-old daughter who was taken just as her independent life was beginning.

[Ksyrup]

In addition to relatives, there's the people who read these threads to think about.

[Critch]

It's not just humans who find this kind of thing hawt:


Necrophilia among ducks ruffles research feathers
Donald MacLeod

The strange case of the homosexual necrophiliac duck pushed out the boundaries of knowledge in a rather improbable way when it was recorded by Dutch researcher Kees Moeliker.

It may have ruffled a few feathers, but it earned him the coveted Ig Nobel prize for biology awarded for improbable research, and next week he will be recounting his findings to UK audiences on the Ig Nobel tour.

Ducks behave pretty badly, it seems. It is not so much that up to one in 10 of mallard couples are homosexual - no one would raise an eyebrow in the liberal Netherlands - but they regularly indulge in "attempted rape flights" when they pursue other ducks with a view to forcible mating. "Rape is a normal reproductive strategy in mallards," explains Mr Moeliker.

As he recounts in his seminal paper, The first case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard anas platyrhynchos, he was in his office in the Natuurmuseum Rotterdam, when he was alerted by a bang to the fact a bird had crashed into the glass facade of the building. "I went downstairs immediately to see if the window was damaged, and saw a drake mallard (anas platyrhynchos) lying motionless on its belly in the sand, two metres outside the facade. The unfortunate duck apparently had hit the building in full flight at a height of about three metres from the ground. Next to the obviously dead duck, another male mallard (in full adult plumage without any visible traces of moult) was present. He forcibly picked into the back, the base of the bill and mostly into the back of the head of the dead mallard for about two minutes, then mounted the corpse and started to copulate, with great force, almost continuously picking the side of the head.

"Rather startled, I watched this scene from close quarters behind the window until 19.10 hours during which time (75 minutes) I made some photographs and the mallard almost continuously copulated his dead congener. He dismounted only twice, stayed near the dead duck and picked the neck and the side of the head before mounting again. The first break (at 18.29 hours) lasted three minutes and the second break (at 18.45 hours) lasted less than a minute. At 19.12 hours, I disturbed this cruel scene. The necrophilic mallard only reluctantly left his 'mate': when I had approached him to about five metres, he did not fly away but simply walked off a few metres, weakly uttering a series of two-note 'raeb-raeb' calls (the 'conversation-call' of Lorentz 1953). I secured the dead duck and left the museum at 19.25 hours. The mallard was still present at the site, calling 'raeb-raeb' and apparently looking for his victim (who, by then, was in the freezer)."

Mr Moeliker suggests the pair were engaged in a rape flight attempt. "When one died the other one just went for it and didn't get any negative feedback - well, didn't get any feedback," he said.

His findings have provoked a lot of interest - especially in Britain for some reason - but no other recorded cases of duck necrophilia. However, Mr Moeliker was informed of an American case involving a squirrel and a dead partner, although in this case it is not known whether the necrophilia observed was homosexual or not as the victim had been run over by a truck shortly before the incident.

http://education.guardian.co.uk/higher/research/story/0,9865,1432991,00.html

[rkmsuf]

Kees Moeliker is one sick fucker.

[Ksyrup]

Homosexual Necrophiliac Duck


This is the name I've been waiting for. My death metal band is almost ready to conquer the world.

[DanGarion]

Game on! It's legal!!!!!!!

----------------------------------------------

Accused Grave Robbers Dodge Sex Charges

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By RYAN J. FOLEY

MADISON, Wis. - Three men who dug up a young woman's corpse to have sex with it after seeing her obituary photo cannot be charged with attempted sexual assault because Wisconsin has no law against necrophilia, an appeals court ruled Thursday.

A judge was correct to dismiss the charges against twin brothers Nicholas and Alexander Grunke and Dustin Radke, all 21, because lawmakers never intended to criminalize sex with a corpse, the District 4 Court of Appeals said in a 3-0 ruling.

The three men went to a cemetery in Cassville in southwestern Wisconsin on Sept. 2 to remove the body of Laura Tennessen, 20, who had been killed the week before in a motorcycle crash.

The men used shovels to reach her grave. They abandoned their plan and were eventually arrested after a vehicle drove into the cemetery and reported suspicious behavior, authorities said.

They said the men had seen an obituary of Tennessen with her photo and wanted to dig up her body to have sexual intercourse. Such an act is known as necrophilia.






The men were charged with attempted third-degree sexual assault and misdemeanor attempted theft charges. But Grant County Circuit Judge George Curry dismissed the sexual assault charges in September, saying no Wisconsin law addressed necrophilia. Prosecutors appealed his ruling.

At issue is a provision in the sexual assault law saying criminal penalties apply "whether a victim is dead or alive at the time of the sexual contact or sexual intercourse."

The appeals court said the law was ambiguous but the most reasonable interpretation was that it does not ban necrophilia. Instead, the court said, the law was meant to make sure prosecutors could bring sexual assault charges in rape-murder cases in which the victim ends up dead.

Outrage over the case might soon change the law.

Sen. Dale Schultz, R-Richland Center, introduced legislation Wednesday that would make having sex with a corpse a felony with punishment of up to 6 years in prison and a $10,000 fine. The bill would levy the same penalties against anyone who intentionally disturbs a burial site or a buried human corpse.

A service of the Associated Press(AP)


http://www.chippewa.com/articles/2007/07/26/ap/strange/d8qkijio0.txt

Um welcome to post #33 http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/showpost.php?p=1252208&postcount=33

[rkmsuf]

Um welcome to post #33 http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/showpost.php?p=1252208&postcount=33

look pal, without me you'd miss out on the homo ducks.

[Wolfpack]

I'm trying to decide whether the thread has actually gotten worse or not. I didn't think it was possible until the homosexual necrophiliac duck came along (though to be fair, I guess the duck wasn't aware his buddy was dead).

[path12]

I swear, I can't go into a public restroom these days without a homosexual necrophiliac duck trying to fuck me.

[DanGarion]

look pal, without me you'd miss out on the homo ducks.

.... True...

[bulletsponge]

ok i said it earlier in this thread but... who "dug up" this old thread? ;)

[rkmsuf]

Welcome to Vermont!
---------------------------------------


Man allegedly admits to sexually molesting cows
1:33 p.m.
July 31, 2007

Daphne Larkin, Times Argus staff

BARRE - A man caught in a dairy barn just before midnight in late May was not only violating the boundaries of the farmer’s property, but he admitted to police that he was there sexually molesting the cows.

Fifty-six year old Gregory Viens, of Fayston, pleaded no contest last week in Vermont District Court to the misdemeanor charge of unlawful trespass and paid the court $601 in fines for his crime.

On May 29 Viens was caught in the barn of the Scribner Farm on River Road in Moretown when a farm employee, who had noticed Viens vehicle parked near the farm, went around to the back of the barn and caught Viens in there.

Viens attempted to run away from the farm employee, but was taken into custody until police arrived about five minutes later.

Employees at the farm had suspected Viens of trespassing on the farm and knew he had a history of sexually abusing cows, according to court documents.
Viens was convicted of the same charge in 2000.

According to court documents, Stephen Scribner, manager of the Scribner farm, told police he suspected Viens had been trespassing and that Vien’s presence there made farm employees uncomfortable.

http://rutlandherald.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070731/THISJUSTIN/70731001

[Axxon]

The first case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard anas platyrhynchos, he was in his office in the Natuurmuseum Rotterdam, when he was alerted by a bang to the fact a bird had crashed into the glass facade of the building.

Wouldn't that make it an anus platyrhynchos?


I got nothing.

[rkmsuf]

WTF
----------------------------------

Testicles and tentacles: Seamen show their derring-do by doing denizens of the deep

Jitsuwa Knuckles SpecialTaro Makeburu, a stage comedian, used to be a fisherman. A resident of the Izu Islands, he enrolled in a public high school whose curriculum, understandably, offered numerous subjects related to oceanography.

Magazine columnist Kureichi Matsuzawa has long been a fan of Makeburu's humorous fish stories, which, Matsuzawa notes, can't get too raunchy or personal when he's performing in public as they might alienate the audience.

But get him in private and, well, you wind up reeling in something a bit bestial.

We're not talking about legends of making it with mesmerizing mermaids, but something that's the genuine thing. Like manta rays.

"Almost everybody in the fishing business has had sex with a manta at some point," Makeburu asserts.

What!!! A manta??? You mean one of those enormous, intimidating winged things with a stinger on their tail that looks like an aquatic Batman?

Yep. After all, fisherman out on ships spend a loooonggg time at sea without ever encountering a woman, and, well, let's face it, they can get pretty horny. No, dammit, let's make that incredibly horny. Even desperate enough to do it with a manta. Right?

"Nah," shrugs Makeburu. "Coastal fishermen poke them too."

Apparently it's a ritual of manhood, done out of recognition of the dangers of life on the sea.

Before mounting one of these intimidating creatures, points out J.K. special, it is "absolutely essential" that its stinger be removed. Yes, that certainly would make sense.

And of course, there's the matter of protocol. To wit, the ship's captain, if he so chooses, is entitled to go first.

Is your mind suitably boggled? No? Ready for some more?

"A manta's ... thing is kind of similar to a human's," Makeburu says.

Japanese fishermen prove the old adage that there are plenty of fish in the sea. (Mainichi)Okay, well ... not exactly. More than a reproductive organ, it's basically an organ of elimination. So engaging in sex with a manta is basically an act of deep-sea sodomy.

"It's shallow and there's resistance at the other end, so the feeling isn't that good," is how he describes it.

At least the manta survives the violation. "With most fish, we just whack 'em, but we release the manta's we screw back into the ocean," Makeburu relates.

A curious Matsuzawa wonders ... if the captain had an STD, wouldn't the other crew members who had sex with the manta contract it too?

"That's right," grins Makeburu. "So some guys slip on condoms before they do it. Once I came down with the clap. But we were in port around that time and I did it with a woman, so I don't have any way of knowing if I picked it up from her, or from the manta."

Is it common, then, for marine students to lose their virginity to a manta?

"Well, no, actually it's more common for them to lose it to a moray eel," he confides.

What??!! Isn't that, like, dangerous, as in crazy?

"You can stick it in until it bites," he says. "But if you pull it away too fast the skin on your cock will tear."

Apparently once out of the water a moray becomes less aggressive. So you can force its mouth open with your hands, and then stick in your cock and let it chew on your chin-chin.

Of course you can't actually call that sex either; it's only oral sex. Or as an Italian fisherman might croon, "That's a moray!"

An isoginchaku comes in handy for those lonely nights at sea. (Mainichi)Should you happen to find yourself climbing on a seaside crag, you might come across a type of anemone known as "isoginchaku." And this, says Makeburu, bodes well for some fishy frolic.

The creature gets its name from the old Japanese coin purse called a "kinchaku," which puckers tightly in the center when you pull on the drawstrings.

"So if you stick in your you-know-what, it'll snap shut around it," he says. "You don't need any foreplay at all. Just ram the old avenger home. It feels goooood," he grins, rolling his eyes.

Alas, sighs Jitsuwa Knuckles Special, Japan's fishing industry is fading fast, and the charming old customs it spawned appear almost certainly doomed. Someday, perhaps soon, all that will remain are these titillating tales, about romances between the men who went to sea and the obliging creatures they encountered therein. (By Masuo Kamiyama, contributing writer)

August 28, 2007

hxxp://mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp/waiwai/news/20070828p2g00m0dm002000c.html

[heybrad]

Kinda makes you rethink the term chocolate starfish.

[MikeVic]

That is so weird. I don't know what to say.

[DaddyTorgo]

i'm more than a little disturbed

[StarBuck]

Not 1.. Not 2.. But THREE guys thought this was a good idea.. what... the.. f??

idabejesus!:eek:

[MikeVic]

idabejesus!:eek:

You're Jesus?

[StarBuck]

Yes. It's pronounced "Hey-Zues", my son.

[bulletsponge]

theres not enough WTF smileys in the world to describe what im thinking

[StarBuck]

WTF
----------------------------------

Testicles and tentacles: Seamen show their derring-do by doing denizens of the deep

I don't mean to offend anyone, but the Japanese are strange folk.

[MikeVic]

I don't mean to offend anyone, but the Japanese are strange folk.

You are a big-time racist and stereotyper missy. Just because they like their tentacle hentai doesn't make them weird!

:p

[WSUCougar]

I had an Avenger with high mileage a few years back.
Just ram the old avenger home.

Edit: Not "had" in *that* sense...I owned one. Drove it. Er...aaagh!

[MikeVic]

I had an Avenger with high mileage a few years back.


Edit: Not "had" in *that* sense...I owned one. Drove it. Er...aaagh!

You motorist! Wait, what term can be used to describe someone that screws a tailpipe now and then?

[JeeberD]

HOT!

[rkmsuf]

That's one sexy bike.
------------------------------------------


Man who had sex with bike in court
By Richard Alleyne
Last Updated: 1:21pm BST 26/10/2007



A man has been placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.


An object of lust?
Robert Stewart was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.

On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how he had been found by the hostel workers.

She said: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.

advertisement"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both witnesses, who were extremely shocked, notified the hotel manager, who in turn alerted the police.

Mr Stewart was placed on the sex offenders’ register but his sentence was deferred until next month.

He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however.

Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch,

hxxp://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/10/26/nsex126.xml

[Telle]

Wait.. he was arrested, convicted, and placed on the sex offender list because he was masturbating in private?? Wow. Is there a person on this planet who shouldn't be on the sex offender list if we went by that criteria??

But, yeah.. using a bike is kinda odd....

[Passacaglia]

Someone probably told him that sex was just like riding a bike.

[cuervo72]

Maybe Ryan knows that guy.

[Eaglesfan27]

The bike is odd, but the pavement seems even more odd to me. Anyway, I agree with Telle. It seems odd that he is being prosecuted for masturbating in private in which no living objects were hurt, even if it is bizarre.

[Passacaglia]

Well, if it's a Hostel, is it necessarily private?

[rkmsuf]

hope he greased his chain

[Eaglesfan27]

Well, if it's a Hostel, is it necessarily private?


Ahh, I misread it as a hotel. That explains things better.

[jackyl]

Gloria Steinem once said that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. But when a man needs a bicycle, does that mean a woman needs a fish?

Ergo, every time a guy porks a bike, a lesbian is born.