JonInMiddleGA
09-24-2007, 06:50 PM
Like the subject line says, I'd appreciate the prayers of those so inclined.
Bottom line: my maternal grandmother was told today that she "most likely" has liver cancer.
The backstory and, I guess, rest of the current story is a little more complicated than that.
She's been hospitalized twice in the past couple of weeks with severe chest pain, both times thought to be heart attacks/heart related, only to find that her heart functions, blood pressure, etc. were all quite normal before, during, and after the incidents. An MRI meant to look for possible blood clots that could have been passing through and causing the pain went a little lower than intended & they spotted an irregularity with her liver. Further imaging was done last week, with the results being delivered today.
She definitely has multiple lesions on her liver, which the doctor said were "most likely" due to cancer of the liver but "he really can't say for sure". And since "most liver cancer starts somewhere else, I really can't tell without doing a colonoscopy" (however it's spelled, the one with the light & camera jammed up to check your colon). But she's "welcome, of course, to get a second opinion."
Her response was basically "No way. I'm done with tests, doctors, that's it."
Now I know that she's certainly got a right to dictate her own treatment options, including none at all but there's some stuff I'm having a tough time getting my head around here. Starting with "what about a liver biopsy"? Wouldn't that be the logical next step toward diagnosing the source/cause of the lesions?
I can understand her reluctance to have further tests (there's some bad family history with the colon testing stuff), I don't have to like it but I can and do respect it. I can understand even how she might almost have more fear that she could survive a battle with whatever it is more than she fears not being able to beat it, as the battle itself is usually grueling.
And I can definitely see how a conclusive diagnosis of liver cancer could make finding out about any colon or other cancers kind of a moot point. And she's endured the death of my grandfather as well as each of her brothers & sisters over the past several years, I'd be lying if I didn't say I could understand there being some part of her that was ready to join them in the next world after this one.
What I'm having a problem handling right now -- whether it's my place to have a problem with it or not -- is not at least exploring enough options to determine whether she actually has liver cancer or something else. Particularly something else that might not be terminal if treated, even potentially something with a relatively straightforward treatment. After all, the most common cause of liver lesions are benign tumors, not malignant ones. And there's no history, personal nor family, of internal cancer in her family (she has had several small skin cancers removed over the past 20 years in outpatient procedures). With all of that plus her doctor's inconclusive opinion plus his recurring tendency to basically write off older patients, at least send the existing test results to another doctor for them to take a look at.
For the moment, I've decided it's better than I just keep my mouth shut and on any of this. From my wife's experience, I do have some idea of what hearing the word cancer directed at you is like for the first few hours and days after.
I certainly wouldn't presume to tell anyone who was willing to say a prayer for her how or what to pray for. But I would ask that you consider adding a sort of tangent to your list if you find it appropriate. Please pray that not only her but the rest of the family as well be able to not only find, but also accept, God's will.
I say that because I realized this evening that what a big part of me wanted to do was fall to my knees and beg God to heal her and keep her here with us. But I also knew that wasn't necessarily what was His will, nor necessarily what was best for her. And I don't want to encourage her to do something that is ultimately against her best interests. I'd like to be able to at least "do no harm" with whatever council I might offer, and I've got to separate my own selfish interests from this in order to do that, as would her daughter (my mother), and the rest of our family.
And, since I suppose I've already rambled, I'd like to say just a little about her. A petite woman in physical size, she's also one of the strongest people I've ever known. She's the widow of my grandfather whose passing some of you may remember me talking about a few years ago. She was the Edith to his Archie, and that requires a lot of inner strength ... not to mention patience, perseverance, and a number of other desirable qualities. She's devout in her faith, but it's an intensely personal thing for her, not something for demonstration through words but rather by actions & everyday practice. On the rare occasion she ever uttered a harm word about anyone, she regretted it immediately, it just wasn't her nature nor her belief of what she should strive to be. I can't say that I've ever known anyone who worked any harder at living what they believed in, not for anything really except for a strong belief that is what you're supposed to do. She's been an incredible example for me of someone who sought to have a life well led, regardless of how poorly I've managed to follow that example at times. Not to mention the simplest thing of all: she's my Granny, I couldn't have ordered a better one from a catalog, and I love her dearly.
Sorry so long here, your prayers would be much appreciated.
Bottom line: my maternal grandmother was told today that she "most likely" has liver cancer.
The backstory and, I guess, rest of the current story is a little more complicated than that.
She's been hospitalized twice in the past couple of weeks with severe chest pain, both times thought to be heart attacks/heart related, only to find that her heart functions, blood pressure, etc. were all quite normal before, during, and after the incidents. An MRI meant to look for possible blood clots that could have been passing through and causing the pain went a little lower than intended & they spotted an irregularity with her liver. Further imaging was done last week, with the results being delivered today.
She definitely has multiple lesions on her liver, which the doctor said were "most likely" due to cancer of the liver but "he really can't say for sure". And since "most liver cancer starts somewhere else, I really can't tell without doing a colonoscopy" (however it's spelled, the one with the light & camera jammed up to check your colon). But she's "welcome, of course, to get a second opinion."
Her response was basically "No way. I'm done with tests, doctors, that's it."
Now I know that she's certainly got a right to dictate her own treatment options, including none at all but there's some stuff I'm having a tough time getting my head around here. Starting with "what about a liver biopsy"? Wouldn't that be the logical next step toward diagnosing the source/cause of the lesions?
I can understand her reluctance to have further tests (there's some bad family history with the colon testing stuff), I don't have to like it but I can and do respect it. I can understand even how she might almost have more fear that she could survive a battle with whatever it is more than she fears not being able to beat it, as the battle itself is usually grueling.
And I can definitely see how a conclusive diagnosis of liver cancer could make finding out about any colon or other cancers kind of a moot point. And she's endured the death of my grandfather as well as each of her brothers & sisters over the past several years, I'd be lying if I didn't say I could understand there being some part of her that was ready to join them in the next world after this one.
What I'm having a problem handling right now -- whether it's my place to have a problem with it or not -- is not at least exploring enough options to determine whether she actually has liver cancer or something else. Particularly something else that might not be terminal if treated, even potentially something with a relatively straightforward treatment. After all, the most common cause of liver lesions are benign tumors, not malignant ones. And there's no history, personal nor family, of internal cancer in her family (she has had several small skin cancers removed over the past 20 years in outpatient procedures). With all of that plus her doctor's inconclusive opinion plus his recurring tendency to basically write off older patients, at least send the existing test results to another doctor for them to take a look at.
For the moment, I've decided it's better than I just keep my mouth shut and on any of this. From my wife's experience, I do have some idea of what hearing the word cancer directed at you is like for the first few hours and days after.
I certainly wouldn't presume to tell anyone who was willing to say a prayer for her how or what to pray for. But I would ask that you consider adding a sort of tangent to your list if you find it appropriate. Please pray that not only her but the rest of the family as well be able to not only find, but also accept, God's will.
I say that because I realized this evening that what a big part of me wanted to do was fall to my knees and beg God to heal her and keep her here with us. But I also knew that wasn't necessarily what was His will, nor necessarily what was best for her. And I don't want to encourage her to do something that is ultimately against her best interests. I'd like to be able to at least "do no harm" with whatever council I might offer, and I've got to separate my own selfish interests from this in order to do that, as would her daughter (my mother), and the rest of our family.
And, since I suppose I've already rambled, I'd like to say just a little about her. A petite woman in physical size, she's also one of the strongest people I've ever known. She's the widow of my grandfather whose passing some of you may remember me talking about a few years ago. She was the Edith to his Archie, and that requires a lot of inner strength ... not to mention patience, perseverance, and a number of other desirable qualities. She's devout in her faith, but it's an intensely personal thing for her, not something for demonstration through words but rather by actions & everyday practice. On the rare occasion she ever uttered a harm word about anyone, she regretted it immediately, it just wasn't her nature nor her belief of what she should strive to be. I can't say that I've ever known anyone who worked any harder at living what they believed in, not for anything really except for a strong belief that is what you're supposed to do. She's been an incredible example for me of someone who sought to have a life well led, regardless of how poorly I've managed to follow that example at times. Not to mention the simplest thing of all: she's my Granny, I couldn't have ordered a better one from a catalog, and I love her dearly.
Sorry so long here, your prayers would be much appreciated.