Radii
01-19-2008, 12:46 AM
Thread title stolen from the article, you can't improve on perfection.
hxxp://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/0118081def1.html
The Crappiest Neighbor Ever
Cops: Wisconsin man let loose on baby clothes, bedding, shoes
JANUARY 18--A Wisconsin man who allegedly defecated on the clothing and shoes of neighbors was charged yesterday with the repulsive, month-long soiling spree. Ronnie Ballard, 19, is facing misdemeanor charges for ruining the items, which were in the laundry room and hallways of a Madison apartment building that is next door to Ballard's residence. According to a criminal complaint filed in Dane County Circuit Court, Ballard defecated on two occasions in a washing machine, ruining a comforter, baby clothing, and other garments. Ballard, pictured in the mug shot at right, is also charged with defecating in the tennis shoes and boots of building residents, who had left the footwear outside their apartment doors. The complaint, a copy of which you'll find below, quotes one resident's reaction when she discovered the ruined sneakers: "He shit in someone's Reebok." The document adds that Felicia Walton, owner of the sneakers, "had not given anyone permission to defecate in her shoes and she was disturbed." As first reported by the Wisconsin State Journal, Ballard was apprehended after a neighbor confronted him in the laundry room and followed him home. At the time of his arrest, Ballard was out on bail on a lewd and lascivious behavior charge from Lincoln County (he is currently being held on $1400 bail at the Dane County lockup). As the Journal's Ed Treleven reported, during a court appearance yesterday, Court Commissioner Todd Meurer "ordered Ballard to only defecate in toilets."
The bolded parts turn this from a weird crime story to pure comedy gold, IMO.
hxxp://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/0118081def1.html
The Crappiest Neighbor Ever
Cops: Wisconsin man let loose on baby clothes, bedding, shoes
JANUARY 18--A Wisconsin man who allegedly defecated on the clothing and shoes of neighbors was charged yesterday with the repulsive, month-long soiling spree. Ronnie Ballard, 19, is facing misdemeanor charges for ruining the items, which were in the laundry room and hallways of a Madison apartment building that is next door to Ballard's residence. According to a criminal complaint filed in Dane County Circuit Court, Ballard defecated on two occasions in a washing machine, ruining a comforter, baby clothing, and other garments. Ballard, pictured in the mug shot at right, is also charged with defecating in the tennis shoes and boots of building residents, who had left the footwear outside their apartment doors. The complaint, a copy of which you'll find below, quotes one resident's reaction when she discovered the ruined sneakers: "He shit in someone's Reebok." The document adds that Felicia Walton, owner of the sneakers, "had not given anyone permission to defecate in her shoes and she was disturbed." As first reported by the Wisconsin State Journal, Ballard was apprehended after a neighbor confronted him in the laundry room and followed him home. At the time of his arrest, Ballard was out on bail on a lewd and lascivious behavior charge from Lincoln County (he is currently being held on $1400 bail at the Dane County lockup). As the Journal's Ed Treleven reported, during a court appearance yesterday, Court Commissioner Todd Meurer "ordered Ballard to only defecate in toilets."
The bolded parts turn this from a weird crime story to pure comedy gold, IMO.