Thunderdome - Two Men Enter! One Man Leaves!

[Erik Flamebeard of The Neither Here Nor There]

I accept.

Erik understands this. You die, big word speaking man.

[Coffee Warlord]

This message serves no purpose except to get Oh Ye Of The Really Long Name off as last poster.

[Fonzie]

Thou shalt perish at my hand, thy pompousity swiftly extinguished, forsooth, I accept thy challenge. Though I have merited the name that mocks my countenance, yet it is only my features that seem unsightly, and not my tongue, which speaketh as if lined with finest gold--and never, yea, never shall I speak in the vile third-person when referencing mine own greatness, as thou seemest so wont to speak. Fare thee well, wretched heathen Norselander. May flights of Valkyrie swift thee to thy rest.

What? :confused:

[Travis]

Hokius Maximus sinlently laughs at all the challenges flying back and forth, confident in the knowledge that everyone recalls what happened to the last man who faced him. When you split a man in half, people tend to back away.

Is there anyone with the guts to challenge Hokius?

Big Bad no like smug smile. Maybe hammer to head wipe smile away lucky man.

Maybe we see your guts Maximus, maybe mine, SMASH EITHER WAY!

[PilotMan]

Pilot paced, his mind fixed on one thing. Happy to have left his master and thrilled to be purchased by House of Corax. Now, all he needed was to taste the blood. To find a victim and bring sure death to him. For the pain that he would extract on his foe. The people will remember and the crowd will chant his name. They will be awed by the carnage.

A note was posted in blood in the town square.

Froggius your time has come. You discrace your house by living. I'll help to end your embarrasment. Pilot the Cruel

To the side lay the man whose blood was spilt for the message, still alive, but really not wanting to be.

[Desnudo]

Thou shalt perish at my hand, thy pompousity swiftly extinguished, forsooth, I accept thy challenge. Though I have merited the name that mocks my countenance, yet it is only my features that seem unsightly, and not my tongue, which speaketh as if lined with finest gold--and never, yea, never shall I speak in the vile third-person when referencing mine own greatness, as thou seemest so wont to speak. Fare thee well, wretched heathen Norselander. May flights of Valkyrie swift thee to thy rest.

Wait, can I can kill him instead?

[Coffee Warlord]

No.

Erik must slay the Talkative One.

[korme]

Dr. Fantastic! Gunther GoBoom challenge you to death!

Gunther want you head on platter. Taste good with Saltines.
Dr. Fantastic accepts, prepare to go under the knife..

[mckerney]

I challenge Raven Hawk!

[Vince]

If Big Bad still thinks he can hang with Scaevola, he's going down. If Big Turd's running mouth has gotten him into trouble elsewhere, Mucius would like to challenge the mighty Godzillius Blitz.

[fantastic flying froggies]

Pilot paced, his mind fixed on one thing. Happy to have left his master and thrilled to be purchased by House of Corax. Now, all he needed was to taste the blood. To find a victim and bring sure death to him. For the pain that he would extract on his foe. The people will remember and the crowd will chant his name. They will be awed by the carnage.

A note was posted in blood in the town square.

Froggius your time has come. You discrace your house by living. I'll help to end your embarrasment. Pilot the Cruel

To the side lay the man whose blood was spilt for the message, still alive, but really not wanting to be.
Ah, bring it on!

[revrew]

What? :confused:

Alas, our native tongue so precipitously plunges into the decrepid minds of those incapable of discerning its nuances, from whence it emerges in vain monosyllabic vapors. For thy sake, I shall translate into the vulgar vernacular with which you are most familiar:

In other words, I said, "I'm gonna kill you and your trash talk with you. I accept your challenge. Though I am as ugly as my name suggests, I speak beautifully. And unlike you, I don't say, 'Revrew will smash, Revrew will kill," when I really mean, 'I will smash, I will kill.' Good bye, Viking. The grim reaper is coming for you."

'Tis a poor state of affairs that I should so humble myself to descend into the gutters of modern English. ;) :D

Egads! Sweet matriarch of the divine! Didst I see an emoticon, nay, a smilie eminate from my hand?? This does not bode well...

[KWhit]

Dr. Fantastic accepts, prepare to go under the knife..
Gunther think Dr. Fantastic is sissy name.

Gunther treat Dr. Fantastic like girlie. Do nasty things to Fantastic man after he dead. Gunther not picky.

[hoopsguy]

Slave Name: HornsManiac
Weapon: Lead Pipe
House: Corax

Why do I have a feeling that HornsManiac won't lack for challenges from fellow slaves?

[Blade6119]

Who wants to die an early death at the hands of the greatest fighter known to thunderdome??? I will bring a quick and painful death to all comers. Who is man enough to face his destiny with doom now?

[sachmo71]

Since Jeeberus D couldn't even survive one match; I will issue an open challenge to anyone who wants a piece of me.

fattoe hear nothing, but make sure that you know you open challenge IS ACCEPTED!

[Qwikshot]

Who wants to die an early death at the hands of the greatest fighter known to thunderdome??? I will bring a quick and painful death to all comers. Who is man enough to face his destiny with doom now?
I'll challenge you!!!

[kingfc22]

Fattoe must be deaf. Your death has already been arranged for next week. Have fun this weekend as it will be your last.

[WSUCougar]

Alas, our native tongue so precipitously plunges into the decrepid minds of those incapable of discerning its nuances, from whence it emerges in vain monosyllabic vapors. For thy sake, I shall translate into the vulgar vernacular with which you are most familiar:

In other words, I said, "I'm gonna kill you and your trash talk with you. I accept your challenge. Though I am as ugly as my name suggests, I speak beautifully. And unlike you, I don't say, 'Revrew will smash, Revrew will kill," when I really mean, 'I will smash, I will kill.' Good bye, Viking. The grim reaper is coming for you."

'Tis a poor state of affairs that I should so humble myself to descend into the gutters of modern English. ;) :D

Egads! Sweet matriarch of the divine! Didst I see an emoticon, nay, a smilie eminate from my hand?? This does not bode well...
I envision that scene in Airplane, where the people are lining up to smack around the hysterical woman. Only we all want to kill this guy...

[Godzilla Blitz]

Slave Name: Blade6119
Weapon of Choice: Rapier
House of Choice: House of Four Fingers

Watch me die creatively!

I was wondering when you (aka, the man who always dies in his first combat in every dynasty he ever volunteers for) were going to show up.

This great dynasty just got a lot better.

Here's hoping that you eventually survive one combat!

[Coffee Warlord]

I envision that scene in Airplane, where the people are lining up to smack around the hysterical woman. Only we all want to kill this guy...

No worries. Erik's on the job.

[Blade6119]

I'll challenge you!!!

BRING IT ON!!! I shall be merciful when the time comes for your death. It shall come as easily as one of the slave girls to my victorious bed! :D

EDIT: Qwik and i are in the same house. Any none four finger peons want to die a quick death?

[Blade6119]

I was wondering when you (aka, the man who always dies in his first combat in every dynasty he ever volunteers for) were going to show up.

This great dynasty just got a lot better.

Here's hoping that you eventually survive one combat!

I am proud to hold that distinction....i think im at like 6 straight dynasties where i die in my first attempt. Just know that whenever i reach like my fifth guy(who will finally live for 2 battles), your mine! Congrats so far buddy, and ill see you in the ring of death :cool:

[Qwikshot]

BRING IT ON!!! I shall be merciful when the time comes for your death. It shall come as easily as one of the slave girls to my victorious bed! :D

EDIT: Qwik and i are in the same house. Any none four finger peons want to die a quick death?

Mmm Then I can't kill you...darn.

[Desnudo]

I envision that scene in Airplane, where the people are lining up to smack around the hysterical woman. Only we all want to kill this guy...

I'm torn between wanting him to die in the first match and for him to win so I can get a chance to kill him later.

[Fonzie]

Alas, our native tongue so precipitously plunges into the decrepid minds of those incapable of discerning its nuances, from whence it emerges in vain monosyllabic vapors. For thy sake, I shall translate into the vulgar vernacular with which you are most familiar:

In other words, I said, "I'm gonna kill you and your trash talk with you. I accept your challenge. Though I am as ugly as my name suggests, I speak beautifully. And unlike you, I don't say, 'Revrew will smash, Revrew will kill," when I really mean, 'I will smash, I will kill.' Good bye, Viking. The grim reaper is coming for you."

'Tis a poor state of affairs that I should so humble myself to descend into the gutters of modern English. ;) :D

Egads! Sweet matriarch of the divine! Didst I see an emoticon, nay, a smilie eminate from my hand?? This does not bode well...

What? :confused:

[Raven Hawk]

Notes:

1. Thank you, everybody, so far in participating in this. I have just as much fun reading all the taunts as I do writing up the matches.

2. Tuesday's and Thursday's cards are now being updated in the first post so that you can see who already has a fight scheduled for the week. There is one opening on the Thursday card.

3. Lefty - Big Bad already accepted a challenge from Hokius prior to your acceptance of his. Therefore, Big Bad is scheduled against Hokius.

4. Please let me know if I have missed any fights. As I'm sure you already know it can get confusing sorting out who is challenged who and who has accepted. On Monday, I'll post some more info in the first post to make things a little easier.

[Desnudo]

Lowest undercard! I'll kill you next for the that!

[Chief Rum]

The Chief is getting rusty with inactivity. Is there a plebeian willing to give his life, sacrificed under the blades of my chainsaw?

I accept the first of any challenger for the last spot in Thursday's action.

(as there is a good chance I will be suspended and can't respond, please treat this as acceptance of any challenge to come forthwith).

CR

[Blade6119]

SOMEONE FIGHT ME...i just had to cancel my last match, so i need some filler "opponent' to come take me on. Anyone?

[Chief Rum]

Bladee6119: You wish to die so quickly, knave? Then I will take your challenge, and the gods will take the lesser--you==on Thursday morn.

The Chief

[Raven Hawk]

Bladee6119: You wish to die so quickly, knave? Then I will take your challenge, and the gods will take the lesser--you==on Thursday morn.

The ChiefI'm booking this as the last fight on Thursday. If there are any other challenges accepted, I may run them as special events on either Tuesday or Thursday, depending how much time I have.

Edit: Just found the post where Chief declares his training, removing that request from this post.

[Raven Hawk]

More Notes:

1. A Comprehensive (Living) Fighter List is now in the first post and will be updated when needed. It has fighters listed by house, including whether or not they currently have a fight scheduled. This should make it easier to find somebody to challenge.

2. The Real Deal and HornsManiac have been added to the Friday auction block.

[Qwikshot]

I challenge Split Peon

[KWhit]

Gunther GoBoom excited for Thursday.

Thursday, Gunther drink Dr. Fantastic blood.

Friday, Gunther have spa session to exfoliate skin. Gunther's pores clogged. Need apple mud bath.

[Coffee Warlord]

Minor typo on the fight cards, RH. Erik isn't the property of the House of Four Fingers.

Erik does not want four fingers. Erik thinks it's harder to smash things with four fingers.

[Raven Hawk]

Minor typo on the fight cards, RH. Erik isn't the property of the House of Four Fingers.

Erik does not want four fingers. Erik thinks it's harder to smash things with four fingers.
Fixed.

[Raven Hawk]

I thought I'd have a little more fun with the dynasty by doing a Weapons drawing the day before the fight. With that said, here are weapons that were drawn for each of the Tuesday matches:

-----------------------------------------------

Undercard 4($12,000):Ca$h Money (Rank 1, Malice Unchained) vs. Love Hurts (Rank 1, Bloodhaus)

Weapons: Spiked Club, Knife, Chains, Knife

Analysis: Ca$h Money couldn't be happier with the weapons draw. His chains will be present in the ring, but Love Hurts' claymore is nowhere to be seen. On top of that, only one other weapon in the ring has the range that the chains have. This one will be decided early on (as is typical with Rank 1 fighters) by the person who controls the chains.

-----------------------------------------------

Undercard 3($12,000): Little Jeebie Dee (Rank 1, Malice Unchained) vs. Flatulon (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited)

Weapons: Crowbar, Longsword, Chainsaw, Rapier
Analysis: This match pits two longsword fighters against each other. Unfortunatley, there is only one longsword in the ring. As we saw in Fattoe's first match, getting to a weapon that you are proficient in is a huge advantage. Both men will grab for the sword, one will get it, the other will most likely die.

-----------------------------------------------

Undercard 2($18,000): Kingfc22 (Rank 1, Bloodhaus) vs. Fattoe the Smashifier (Rank 2, Pain Unlimited)

Weapons: Spiked Club, Chains, Rapier, Lead Pipe
Analysis: Fattoe the Smashifier will likely be re-dubbed Fattoe the Slashifier as he once again lucks out in the weapons draw. His rapier will be present in the ring, Kingfc22's warhammer is not. If Fattoe gets a hold of the rapier, look for this one to be over quick. Kingfc22 has to get to the rapier if he wants any chance at living in his higher ranked opponent.

-----------------------------------------------

Undercard 1($25,000): JAGus "The Half Dead" (Rank 2, Pain Unlimited) vs. Rizarro "The Half Alive" (Rank 2, The House of Four Fingers)

Weapons: Machete, Lead Pipe, Crowbar, Chainsaw
Analysis: JAGus and his "Mad" chainsaw will look to team up in this war of the wounded. Rizarro will rely on his defensive wiles to avoide the chainsaw blade and better position himself to strike with another weapon. That is, if Rizarro can't control the chainsaw. Another mad dash towards the chainsaw will ensue and the winner of that race will most likely be the winner of the match. Both men will be nursing wounds, so this fight should be a quick one.

-----------------------------------------------

Main Event ($25,000): Godzillius Blitz (Rank 2, Bloodhaus) vs. Calaleus (Rank 2, House Corax)

Weapons: Chainsaw, Axe, Chains, Lead Pipe

Analysis: Godzillius finds himself in a precarious situation as Calaleus is skilled with the axe. The axe will be the key to this fight. Godzillius will hope that he can beat Calaleus to the axe. If not, Godzillius will have to hope that the one piece of armor on his shoulder holds and attracts all of the axe swings. Although the axe is deadly in Calaleus' hands, there are plenty of other deadly weapons available in this match. The book gives a slight advantage to Calaleus.

[fantastic flying froggies]

This dynasty gets better every day, good one RH! http://www.fof-ihof.com/phpBB2/images/smiles/icon_thumbsup.gif (javascript:emoticon(':thumbsup:'))

[RainRaven]

Slave Name: Dorrain
Favorite Weapon: Longsword
Stable Preference: Bloodhaus

[WSUCougar]

Rizzaro would like to bribe the weapons placement minion. Ditch the chainsaw, or better yet just remove the "-aw" from the end.

And he doesn't care if the Syndicate investigates or his House gets put on probation.

[Vince]

Lefty throws the gauntlet of challenge at Windstorm I's feet. "Windstorm -- more like Weakstorm. Down you shall go to the might of my spear!"

[JAG]

Another chainsaw! Woohoo!

Ready for your dentist appointment Rizzaro? The (mAd) doctor is in!

[WSUCougar]

...'cause here's the answer:

Rizzaro...in the Thunderdome...with the lead pipe

Another chainsaw! Woohoo!

Ready for your dentist appointment Rizzaro? The (mAd) doctor is in!

[Raven Hawk]

Dorrain has been added to the Auction Block for Friday.

[Fonzie]

Another chainsaw! Woohoo!

Ready for your dentist appointment Rizzaro? The (mAd) doctor is in!

Don't be silly! Dentists don't use chainsaws! Duh! :rolleyes:






;)

[SplitPersonality1]

I challenge Split Peon
Fool!

I, Split Peon the Great would be glad to take your life. Fortunately for you, I already have already challenged the winner of the Little Jeebie Dee vs. Flatulon match.

Should the winner be unavailable to fight due to injury, notify your family so they have time to prepare a proper burial.


(I will take you on pending the outcome of the other fight. If you want to challenge someone else in the meantime, feel free)

[sterlingice]

I am definitely getting into this game once finals are over.

SI

[fantastic flying froggies]

I am definitely getting into this game once finals are over.

SI
Ah, join NOW or flee forever, you cowardly half of a man!

[Raven Hawk]

The Sun beat down upon the arena dirt, warming the spilt blood that hadn't been cleaned up from the previous week. The familiar smell of dirt and sweat wafted up into the stands. Spectators mingled about waiting for the festivities to start.

The stadium speakers began to spew forth metal rock and the crowd noise stopped. Every fan ceased their conversations and headed for their seats. The host upon a platform, overlooking the Thunderdome.

"WELCOME! Everybody, to THUNDERDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEE!"

[Raven Hawk]

Ca$h Money (Rank 1, Malice Unchained) vs. Love Hurts (Rank 1, Bloodhaus)

Purse: $12,000

Weapons: Spiked Club, Knife, Chains, Knife

As the two men enter the paddocks, it is hard not to notice the grin on Ca$h Money's face. He knows that his weapon will be in the arena, but his opponent's will not. Love Hurts is busy blowing kisses to his fan and posing like an modern day Adonis. The line coming into the match has Ca$h as the favorite. Ca$h looks to be in good form after a good nights rest. Love Hurts, however, doesn't appear to have slept at all. The men enter the arena and go to their respective corners. The host heads to the microphone . . . "BEGIN!" Both men dash for the chains . . .

[Raven Hawk]

Ca$h is quick and gets to the chains . . . just in time to see Love Hurts steal them out from grasp! A huge moral victory for Love Hurts as he begins swinging the chains above his head. Ca$h needs to locate another weapon, and quick. It just so happens that a knife is the closest weapon. Ca$h heads for the knife and Love looses the chains at him as he moves across the arena . . .

[Coffee Warlord]

Two men enter, one man leaves!

Two men enter, one man leaves!

Two men enter, Erik Flamebeard of the Neither Here Nor There leaves!

[Raven Hawk]

Love swings aggressively, but Ca$h looks like a modern day Barry Sanders. He jukes left drawing the attack, then heads right for the knife. Love has no chance as the chains harmlessly strike the dirt. Love, still with the upper hand takes another swing as Ca$h attempts to pick up a knife. With less room to work, Ca$h Sanders barely evades the chainsaw is able to grab the knife.

[Raven Hawk]

Ca$h comes off the weapons pedestal with a blind fury. Love, feels the same vibe and charges Ca$h simultaneously. Love can't get into range and his short stab can't reach. Love can't get much behind the chains as they briefly strike Ca$h's knife before returning to their overhead twirl. Ca$h stabs for Love's belly getting love to flinch, then redirectshis strike to Love's arm, slicing in open. The agonizing pain in the arm interrupts the wild swinging of the chains and Love loses control of them. They fly from his hand, land in the dirt, and slide up against the wall . . . Ca$h grins.

[Raven Hawk]

Love makes for the nearest weapon, the spiked club. Ca$h lets him go and cautiously makes his way over to where the chains are resting. Ca$h sheaths the knife in his belt and picks up the chains. Love picks up the spiked club. Both men charge angrily at each other. Love gets his swing off earlier, to Ca$h's surprise. Ca$h's eyes bulge in amazement as the spiked club hits him square in the chest!

[Raven Hawk]

Ca$h let's out a scream as the spiked club punctures his rib cage. Ca$h drops to one knee as Love rips the club, spikes and all out of his chest. He returns the club over his head and adopts a sledgehammer grip as he attempts to finish Ca$h off. With enormous effort, Ca$h is able sneak in a blow to Love's leg. No damage, but the master of the chains has succeeded in his attempt to entangle his opponent. With a quick tug, Love goes to the ground.

[Raven Hawk]

Ca$h stands up with his chain still wrapped around Love's ankle. He continues to tug at it to ensure Love can't get back up. Love fights to get out of the chains, but he is unable to. With a last ditch effort to get free of the chains, Love swings the spiked club at them. It succeeds! Love knocks the chains out of Ca$h's hands. Ca$h immediately grabs for the spare knife that he tucked in his belt.

[Raven Hawk]

Now, coughing up blood, Ca$h knows that he has to make a move, or he'll likely bleed to death. Ca$h, attacks his opponents legs with the knife. Love won't have any of that and kicks Ca$h's knife hand away. Ca$h can't help but back away from the flailing feet of Love. Love buys himself enough time to get up off the ground. Ca$h backs off into a defensive position as Love winds up with the spiked club. Love swings and Ca$h tries to intercept, attacking Love's right arm again, but to no avail. However, Ca$h does succeed in getting out of the way of the nasty club.

[Raven Hawk]

Love, notices that Ca$h is getting a little light headed and moves in for another shot at the kill. Love holds the club up high, an brings it down hard. Ca$h Sanders dashes out of the way, avoiding death once again! But, Ca$h still cannot muster a worthy counter attack. Ca$h clutches his chest as the blood continues to flow out of his chest. Coughing up blood,his world starts to go dim . . .

[Raven Hawk]

Love clobbers down again with the club, Ca$h instinctively rolls to the right avoiding the heavy mass. Ca$h tries to stab at Love from one knee, but he just doesn't have the strength to extend his arm all the way. Love, raises the club high in the air and brings it back down, Ca$h rolls to the left avoiding the blow, in the process he loses his knife. Love misses Ca$h and drives the club into the earth. It sticks there. Both men are weaponless.

[Raven Hawk]

Love tries to pry up the club and Ca$h tries to regain the knife. Love manages to pull the club out of the ground. Disoriented, from blood loss, Ca$h cannot find the knife. Blindly rolling around Ca$h avoids yet another blow from the vicious club head. The crowd begins to sigh as the cruelty of the sport shows itself plainly on the face of Ca$h Money. He stumbles clutching his chest, hoping to find the knife. Feeling around, Ca$h instead finds the chains . . .

[Raven Hawk]

The crowd begins to groan as the two fighters, fatigued and losing blood, continue to swing weakly at each other. The club misses. The chains hit, but fail to do any damage. Both men exchange blows that are missing each other by miles. The crowd calls for mercy and the good lord provides it as Ca$h finally succumbs to his chest wound. The blood from his chest drips slowly and Ca$h closes his eyes as if he were going to sleep. The disaffected crowd doesn't have the energy to cheer for Ca$h's death.

Love Hurts is now Rank 2 and receives a prestige point. Demetrius Cavish collects the $12,000 purse and buys Love Hurts a shoulder guard for his efforts. Love Hurts will not be able to return to the ring until December 23 due to blood loss.

[Raven Hawk]

Next up: Little Jeebie Dee vs. Flatulon!

[Raven Hawk]

Little Jeebie Dee (Rank 1, Malice Unchained) vs. Flatulon (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited)

Purse: $12,000

Weapons: Crowbar, Longsword, Chainsaw, Rapier

Out in the paddocks all the talk is about who will get to the longsword firts. Will it be Little Jeebie Dee or Flatulon. Both men look in very good shape today. This one looks to be a quick fight. The oddsmakers have it set even at 1:1. The two men are prodded down the tunnel and into the ring. The host steps up to the mic . . . "BEGIN!" Both men go straight for the longsword . . .

[Raven Hawk]

Both men stumble out of the blocks, but it is Jeebie who gets to the longsword first. Instead of going after another weapon, Flatulon attempts to tackle Jeebie before he can bring the sword to bear. Flatulon can't get a good grip on the slippery Jeebie and his clasp slides down Jeebie's torso. Jeebie strikes with the longsword . . .

[Raven Hawk]

But Flatulon is too close in to get a good shot. The sword nicks Flatulon, but doesn't even break the skin. Flatulon attempts to push Jeebie away and succeeds, but he doesn't push him far enough and Jeebie is still in range of Flatulon. Flatulon, however is able to pivot his body and move out of range before Jeebie gets a shot in. Flatulon turns and sees the rapier right in front of him and he picks it up in time to try to block Jeebie's shot.

[Raven Hawk]

Clang! The rapier turns the longsword aside. Jeebie gets a little tricky and drops his shoulder to get an advantage on Flatulon, but Flatulon, knowing the longsword, is wise to the maneuver and thrusts counter to Jeebie's blade. Flatulon turns the longsword outward with a parry, but cannot land his own blade.

[Raven Hawk]

Flatulon aggressively attacks and Jeebie counters with a defensive stance. Flatulons high slice can't connect. Jeebie parries the rapier upward and immediately strikes counter. Jeebies blade thrusts at Flatulon's neck and hits its mark. The blade pierces through the skin and in a moment, blood explodes out from Flatulon's neck. Flatulon gurgles for a moment, then falls to the ground, dead.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Little Jeebie Dee is Rank 2 and receives 1 prestige point. The Rooster collects the $12,000 purse and teaches Little Jeebie how to better anticipate his opponents attacks. Little Jeebie Dee was not injured in the course of the fight and may fight when he next wishes.

[Raven Hawk]

Next up: The battle of the walking wounded: JAGus vs. Rizarro

[Raven Hawk]

JAGus "The Half Dead" (Rank 2, Pain Unlimited) vs. Rizarro "The Half Alive" (Rank 2, The House of Four Fingers)

Purse: $25,000

Weapons: Machete, Lead Pipe, Crowbar, Chainsaw

Both men come into the paddocks coveraged in bandages and salve. Rizarro looks a little worse for wear than JAGus, but neither looks healthy. The rumor is that Rizarro wasn't resting properly, but rather entertaining his nurses. If that be the case, Four Fingered Flynn can blame his loose medical staff if Rizarro doesn't survive the match. The book has the money favoring JAGus 4:3, but a large late bet knocks it down to 1:1. The two men head towards the arena and make their way to their respective corners. Prior to F. Lee Ermy taking the stand, an astute observer might notice Flynn giving Rizarro a knowing wink. F. Lee Ermy takes the microphone . . . "BEGIN!" JAGus heads for the chainsaw. Rizarro heads for the crowbar?

[Raven Hawk]

Both men end up at their weapons in timely fashion. JAGus pauses for a moment at the chainsaw before he grabs it. Rizarro picks up the crowbar and heads toward JAGus. JAGus gives the starter cord a tug on the chainsaw. Nothing.

[Raven Hawk]

Rizarro steps up toward JAGus and swings for the fences. JAGus attempts to parry with the chainsaw. Rizarro connects, sending the bent tip of the crowbar into JAGus' belly, where it hooks up under his rib cage. JAGus doubles over in pain with the crowbar lodged in his ribs. Rizarro smiles and gives the crowbar a quick tug. The crowbar stays lodged in JAGus' rib cage and begins pulling at his ribs. JAGus, gives up the chainsaw and attempts to remove the crowbar from his midsection as he screams out in pain.

[Raven Hawk]

JAGus is able to control the crowbar enough to get it unstuck from his rib cage, but the crowbar has reopened his old wound and he is bleeding profusely from it. Rizarro attempts to remove JAGus' limited control of the crowbar. JAGus cries out to the sky and wrests the crowbar from Rizarro's grip instead. Rizarro backs off and looks for another weapon. The lead pipe is not far away. Rizarro breaks for it.

[Raven Hawk]

JAGus reverses his grip on the crowbar and takes a fleeting swing at Rizarro. But is unable to connect. Rizarro gets to the lead pipe and picks it up in defense. Rizarro puts up a weak defense as JAGus swings low. JAGus connects with Rizarro's knee and Rizarro toples over in agony.

[Raven Hawk]

JAGus continues forward with the crowbar and swings at the prone Rizarro. The angry JAGus barrels down on Rizarro with the crowbar and sends the tip right through Rizarro's eye.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

The crowbar sticks through Rizarro's head effectively staking it to the ground. Rizarro is no more. The nurses will weep for days, or until a new flavor of beefcake enters the infirmary. Out of frustration JAGus goes over and picks up the chainsaw with the intention of doing some post-mortem dentistry. He pulls on the cord a couple more times with no effect. He checks the gas tank . . . no gas. In a blind fury, JAGus puts his foot through Rizarro chest, heel first. Then, grabbing his wound, he retires to the tunnel and medical attention.

JAGus "mAd" MAXimus is promoted to Rank 3 and earns 2 prestige points for his victory. Torbjorg collects the $25,000 purse and looks defiantly at Four Fingered Flynn as walks across the arena to collect. Torbjorg will train JAGus further in stylization. (As noted in the previous fight, styles can be stacked to increase their effectiveness) JAGus will need 3 weeks to recover from his current wounds. That puts him fully healed for December 28th fights.

[JAG]

Cheating bastards...*collapses*

[Raven Hawk]

Next up: Kingfc22 vs. Fattoe the Smashifier

(Sorry, I just realized that I went out of order, but now we're back on).

[Raven Hawk]

Kingfc22 (Rank1, Bloodhaus) vs. Fattoe the Smashifier (Rank 2, Pain Unlimited)

Purse: $18,000

Weapons: Spiked Club, Chains, Rapier, Lead Pipe

Women and children gawk at the size of Fattoe's mouth as he trots around the stage in the paddocks. Kingfc, however, has a more somber walk. He seems focussed in on the task at hand and is looking for a victory over a higher ranked opponent. Demetrius Cavish, explained to Kingfc22 what a rapier looks like, but Cavish wasn't sure if it stuck with Kingfc22. Kingfc22 looks to be in a bit better shape than Fattoe, even though Fattoe has the weapon advantage. The book has these two going off at 3:2 in favor of Fattoe. The men enter the ring and are taken to their corners. The pages quickly leave the arena floor. The guest announcer for today's matches, F. Lee Ermy gives the call for the men to . . . "BEGIN!" Both men head out for the Rapier . . .

[WSUCougar]

JAGus will need 3 weeks to recover from his current wounds. That puts him fully healed for December 28th fights.
*sigh*

Ya know, lodging a crowbar through a guy's ribs just doesn't do what it used to. 'Grats, JAG. Sleep light... :mad:

[Raven Hawk]

Kingfc22' shape shows as he shoots out of his corner and grabs the rapier before Fattoe can get there. Fattoe, realizing that he can't reach the rapier in time heads toward the lead pipe instead. Kingfc22 will get a shot in before Fattoe can get there. Kingfc22 strikes for Fattoe's back, barely catching Fattoe's back with the flat of his blade. Fattoe reaches the lead pipe and gets it up in defense of the charging Kingfc22. The King swings . . .

[Raven Hawk]

but the king is obviously not skilled with the rapier and the strike lands two feet short of its target. Fattoe is quick to capitalize moving in behind the returning blade of Kingfc22. Fattoe strikes for the shoulder blade and lands the blunt instrument squarely upon it. Kingfc22 scowls in pain as his arm goes numb and the rapier drops from his hand.

[WSUCougar]

Ladies and gentleman, I give you:

Name: Professor Plum
Weapon: Lead pipe

[KWhit]

Gunther GoBoom worried about gas in chainsaw.

Gunther GoBoom worried about cheating.

Gunther GoBoom worried about who wins The Real Gilligan's Island.

[Raven Hawk]

Having seen Ca$h Money's misfortune at attempting to go for a dropped weapon, Fattoe, instead presses in with the lead pipe and strikes again. Kingfc22 attempts to grab the rapier that he just lost. Fattoe quickly ends that idea as he smashes the lead pipe across Kingfc22's back. Fattoe connects with Kingfc22's spine and Kingfc22 gets a tingly feeling all over his body as he falls to the ground.

[Raven Hawk]

Kingfc22 regains control of his body and is able roll over onto his back into a defensive positon. Unfortunately for him, his defensive position was facing the wrong way and he rolled into a position which exposed his head to Fattoe. Fattoe takes the opportunity swing at the exposed head.

[Raven Hawk]

Fattoe raises the lead pipe high in the air and brings it slamming down on Kingfc22's skull. The sound resulting from the blow sounds like a casaba melon hitting the pavement from 20 feet above. Brains fly out the side of Kingfc22's skull and his body goes limp.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Fattoe is promoted to Rank 3 and receives 1 prestige point. Torbjorg Andreasson collects the $18,000 purse for Pain Unlimited and offers to train Fattoe further in stylization. (FYI, you can stack styles and be double specialized in Normal if you'd like, or you can grab another specialization). Fattoe was uninjured and can fight again when he desires.

[Raven Hawk]

Next up: The Main Event! Godzillius Blitz vs. Calaleus!

[Raven Hawk]

Godzillius Blitz (Rank 2, Bloodhaus) vs. Calaleus (Rank 2, House Corax)

Purse: $25,000

Weapons: Chainsaw, Axe, Chains, Lead Pipe

Both fighters confidently walk the paddocks. Godzillius looks to be in better form than Calaleus. However, that will not matter if Calaleus can get to the axe first. The current line on this fight 1:1. The men enter the arena and the fanfare begins for the main event. Scantily clad dancers rub up against the fighters. The fighters both enjoy it, but don't let it show. Only one of them would be leaving the ring. F. Lee Ermy steps up the mic for the final time tonight and he gives out the call . . . "BEGIN! MAGGOTS!" Both men bolt for the axe.

[Raven Hawk]

Godzillius stumbles slightly, giving Calaleus the instant advantage as Calaleus grabs the axe. Godzillius changes route and heads for the nearby chains. As Godzillius is grabbing for the chains, Calaleus charges aggressively with the axe cocked. He unleashes a furious blow . . .

[Raven Hawk]

But misses as Godzillius is able to duck as he grabs the chains and starts swinging them overhead. Calaleus takes a swing as he backs off into a more defensive stance. Godzillius easily evades. Godzillius strikes out with the chains. But Calaleus masterfully evades the chains as well. It appears as though the fighters are loosening up and feeling each other out.

[Raven Hawk]

Calaleus comes in with a misdirection attack, but Godzillius is wary of the attack and counters defensively with crossing strikes from his chains. Realizing that Godzillius has countered properly, Calaleus aborts the second attack in his misdirection combination. As Godzillius attempts his own misdirection, he loses control of the chains. Calaleus is quick to capitalize as Godzillius attempts to recover. Calaleus swings heavy at Godzillius' chest . . .

[JAG]

Ladies and gentleman, I give you:

Name: Professor Plum
Weapon: Lead pipe

You just couldn't let go the Clue reference, could you? :D

[Raven Hawk]

Godzillius somehow manages to contort his body out of the brunt of the blow. The axe falls squarely on his shoulder armor and impacts the shoulder beneath it. If that blow would have landed where it was supposed to, Godzillius would surely be dead. In Godzillius' contortion, he had to give trying to recontrol the chains and let them swing wildly from his hands, dropping harmlessly to the dirt below.

[Raven Hawk]

Calaleus fires again, this time from the side. Learning his lesson, Calaleus avoids the shoulder and opens a gash in Godzillius' belly. Godzillius grabs hold of his stomach in pain as he heads for the nearest weapon: The Lead Pipe. But, Calaleus is relentless with that axe, he swings again, this time at midsection level but in the opposite direction. He barely misses and Godzillius reaches the lead pipe and attempts to bring it up to block Calaleus' next swing.

[Raven Hawk]

Calaleus swings over the top again and at the last moment, Godzillius gets the lead pipe up to block! Another death blow averted by Godzillius! The recoil from the axe blow does not allow Godzillius to get off counter shot. Calaleus continues the fury, but Godzillius now able to match his strikes with parries. Once again, the two have settled into a rythym of strikes and parries, testing each others' defenses.

[Raven Hawk]

Godzillius opens up his stance to invite an attack to his right. Calaleus takes the bait like a starving bear takes to donuts. Godzillius quickly shifts his weight and brings the lead pipe down on Calaleus, striking in him in the hand. Calaleus drops the axe as the lead pipe smashes the bones in his hand. Godzillius is so anxious to hit, that he throws a horrible shot over Calaleus' head. Calaleus tries to grab for the axe again, but cannot to bring it to his defense before Godzillius strikes again.

[Raven Hawk]

Godzillius strikes high but misses the dodging Calaleus. Calaleus now readies the axe in his off-hand. Calaleus strikes and breaks Godzillius' defense. A look of panic comes over his face as the axe comes through his face. Calaleus leaves the axe in Godzillius' head as the lifeless body topples to the ground.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Calaleus has been promoted to Rank 3 and gains 2 prestige points. Raven Hawk collects the $25,000 purse and teaches Calaleus another weaponskill: Crowbar. Calaleus will be out 1 week healing his broken hand, but will be at full strength on December 21st should he choose to fight.

[Coffee Warlord]

You killed GB!

Bastard!

[Raven Hawk]

Tuesday's card is completed. The rankings and cards on the first page are updated.

[Raven Hawk]

The Hall of Fodder Updated:

<TABLE cellSpacing=0 bgColor=#ffffff border=1><CAPTION></CAPTION><THEAD><TR><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>SlaveName</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Rank</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Slayer</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>DeathThroe</TH></TR></THEAD><TBODY><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Godzillius Blitz</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Calaleus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Axehead in the head</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Ajtuck</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Godzillius Blitz</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Crushed Windpipe and Suffocation</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The Hunter</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>JAGus "Mad" MAXimus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>New Entrée: Shishka-heart</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Rizarro</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>JAGus "Mad" MAXimus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Didn't See the Crowbar Coming</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Thickthumbs the Violent Tempered</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Rizarro</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Machete Embedded in Skull</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Myrdrimor</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Calaleus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Lost his Head to an Axe</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Coffee Warlord</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Qwikshot</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Lost his Head to a Machete</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Jeeberus Dee</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>MC²</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Neck/Axe Incompatability Issues</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>DeToxusRoxus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Hokius Maximus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Cut in Twain by Chainsaw</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>HellAntic</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Split Peon the First</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Lost his Head to a Machete</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Sinister Vibes</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The Chief</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Axe Embedded in Chest</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Kingfc22</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Fattoe the Smashifier</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Brained by Lead Pipe</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Gaius Julius Vincius</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Fattoe the Smashifier</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Severed Artery in Leg</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Flatulon</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Little Jeebie Dee</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Longsword Caught in Neck</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Ca$h Money</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Love Hurts</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodloss to Bloodhaus</TD></TR></TBODY><TFOOT></TFOOT></TABLE>

[sachmo71]

I'll train in Defensive, please.

[Travis]

You killed GB!

Bastard!

It's just Karma, at some point you know he'll face one of Blade's guys, who'll finally have a chance at killing GB instead of the other way around ;)

[Coffee Warlord]

Dear dear, I love this dynasty. :)

[Coffee Warlord]

It's just Karma, at some point you know he'll face one of Blade's guys, who'll finally have a chance at killing GB instead of the other way around ;)

There's a LOT of people gunning to kill GB. :)

The illustrious X-Com history of Coffee Warlord and his son....lessee here.

Coffee Warlord Sr...died so fast he had the award renamed after him.

Coffee Warlord Jr...survived the war, a hero of the Mars Invasion. Of course, he was not permitted to carry a damn WEAPON during the Mars Invasion.

Hooo yeah. GB will pay in Thunderdome! PAY! Erik Smash!

[SplitPersonality1]

You killed GB!

Bastard!

From now on, every fighter that GB brings forward should be named Kenny. :D

[SplitPersonality1]

Oh. and Little Jeebie Dee, your a$$ is mine. Do you accept the challenge?

[JAG]

JAGus will take some normal training.

[Desnudo]

Poor Ca$h Money, if you weren't such a skinny wimp you might have had more blood in your body and won.

[Godzilla Blitz]

Ouch. Axehead to the face. I just hate when that happens. Damn 'bot.

Godzillius Blitz's son steps forward:
Name: Godzillius Blitz II
Weapon: Longsword

Reading the above posts, I didn't realize how many people wanted revenge for X-COM! I'm starting to get a feel for how the Yankees must feel when they play on the road. :) I'm ready. Bring it on, people.

Can we make challenges before we're picked up by a house?

Great stuff, RH, by the way!

[MikeVic]

Slave Name: Mikail Vicious
Weapon: Machete

[Raven Hawk]

Can we make challenges before we're picked up by a house?
You can make challenges, however, just be aware that there is a possibility that it is nullified if you end up joining the same house as your opponent.

[VPI97]

Ladies and gentleman, I give you:

Name: Professor Plum
Weapon: Lead pipe http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/%7Efof/forums/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[fantastic flying froggies]

all together now:

Two Men Enter! One Man Leaves! Two Men Enter! One Man Leaves!

[Qwikshot]

I need a challenge, CHALLENGE ME.

[hoopsguy]

Qwik, I'll put you in a shallow grave if that is what you seek.

[Godzilla Blitz]

I'll challenge Mikail Vicious!

[KWhit]

Gunther GoBoom looks forward to eating Dr. Fantastic's brain on cracker.

Saltine is okay, but Gunther prefers brains on Wheat Thin.

[MikeVic]

I'll challenge Mikail Vicious!

I'll make sure you suffer the same fate as your father! Well, with a machete instead of an axe of course! Har har har!

[WSUCougar]

JAGus will take some normal training...
...and a McRib?

[JAG]

...and a McRib?

Food always tastes better after you've stuck your heel through another man's chest.

[Desnudo]

That was, by far, my favorite highlight so far.

[Raven Hawk]

The first post has been updated to include the current slaves on the auction block for Friday. If I have missed anybody, let me know.

[sachmo71]

Hornsmaniac = 23 wound

Definately more powerful and stronger then ever.

[Raven Hawk]

Hornsmaniac = 23 wound

Definately more powerful and stronger then ever.
You can't win, Fattoe. If you strike him down, he shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

[Poli]

You forgot RAVEN HAWK, hater!

[Raven Hawk]

You forgot RAVEN HAWK, hater!
That imposter was sold at last Friday's auction to Malice Unchained. In fact, I believe that he has an outstanding challenge from MC² . . .

[Blade]

I, Blade the Mighty, challenge Mucius "The Lefty" Scaevola. I will do my best to make sure that the left hand is all you have left when I am done...

:D

[Qwikshot]

Qwik, I'll put you in a shallow grave if that is what you seek.
You're all talk...:) Prove it.

[Poli]

Eh, I accept. :) I didn't see it, or my name on your list.

[Blade6119]

It's just Karma, at some point you know he'll face one of Blade's guys, who'll finally have a chance at killing GB instead of the other way around ;)

Ohhh, how i await that day...the fruition of all my anger...that will be the day i reclaim my honor...unless he kills me....then it will really start to suck for the Blade family... :(

[MikeVic]

What's wounds? And why am I a cheap slut?

[Godzilla Blitz]

Ohhh, how i await that day...the fruition of all my anger...that will be the day i reclaim my honor...unless he kills me....then it will really start to suck for the Blade family... :(

Best you focus on Thursday's fight before dreaming of vengeance. You die quickly in every dynasty, not just mine. Hell, you could probably die in a TCY dynasty. I can see the play-by-play now:

1-10-ORST47 (15:00) ORST 19 Blade6119 ran off left guard for 1 yard. Tackled by BOIS 34 Buckner.

2-09-ORST48 (14:34) ORST 19 Blade6119 pass completed to 82 Stargell for 21 yards. Tackled by BOIS 53 Rosehill.

1-10-BOIS31 (13:59) ORST 19 Blade6119 pass was dropped by 82 Stargell.
ORST 19 Blade6119 was hit by sniper on the play. He is dead.

[Coffee Warlord]

Heh!

[Blade6119]

Best you focus on Thursday's fight before dreaming of vengeance. You die quickly in every dynasty, not just mine. Hell, you could probably die in a TCY dynasty. I can see the play-by-play now:

1-10-ORST47 (15:00) ORST 19 Blade6119 ran off left guard for 1 yard. Tackled by BOIS 34 Buckner.

2-09-ORST48 (14:34) ORST 19 Blade6119 pass completed to 82 Stargell for 21 yards. Tackled by BOIS 53 Rosehill.

1-10-BOIS31 (13:59) ORST 19 Blade6119 pass was dropped by 82 Stargell.
ORST 19 Blade6119 was hit by sniper on the play. He is dead.

LOL, nice buddy! I am at a loss for a comeback....give me some time to think on this one... :D

[Vince]

Scaevola accepts the challenge of Blade the Tighty-Whitey. Your head will look quite fetching at the top of my spear.

[SplitPersonality1]

Best you focus on Thursday's fight before dreaming of vengeance. You die quickly in every dynasty, not just mine. Hell, you could probably die in a TCY dynasty. I can see the play-by-play now:

1-10-ORST47 (15:00) ORST 19 Blade6119 ran off left guard for 1 yard. Tackled by BOIS 34 Buckner.

2-09-ORST48 (14:34) ORST 19 Blade6119 pass completed to 82 Stargell for 21 yards. Tackled by BOIS 53 Rosehill.

1-10-BOIS31 (13:59) ORST 19 Blade6119 pass was dropped by 82 Stargell.
ORST 19 Blade6119 was hit by sniper on the play. He is dead.

Very funny GB. :)

[sterlingice]

Awesome, GB!

SI

[kingfc22]

Slave Name: King II
Weapon: Warhammer

[kingfc22]

Give me Professor Plum in the arena with NO leadpipe!!

Prepare to die!!!

[Godzilla Blitz]

Thanks, guys. Glad you liked it. :)

[albionmoonlight]

Wow--that didn't sound like a fun death for Ca$h.

[Breeze]

<b>Windstorm 1 </b>(notice I'm so confident I've already started numbering my people. :D)
Challenges - <b>Blade from The House of Four Fingers</b>


I'll train defensive (if I can)

[SplitPersonality1]

Since Little Jeebie Dee is too cowardly to accept my invitation to his death, I openly challenge any available rank 2 or higher opponent. I want a fight that is worthy of the greatness that is Split Peon the First.


[edited to include available rank 3 fighters]

[KWhit]

Gunther GoBoom want chainsaw in his fight.

Gunther GoBoom like chainsaw.

Chainsaw good at opening up other fighters.

Gunther GoBoom prefer Poulan chainsaw, but Ryobi okay.

[Raven Hawk]

Notes:

The first post has been updated with people's training and Tuesday's card has been updated with accepted challenges.

MikeVic: Wounds are a measure of how tough you are, in effect, your hit points. You're a cheap slut for many reasons, I'm sure ;) . As it applies to this game, though, it is because you got a crappy draw. Wounds increase by +2 each rank you raise, so if you can survive a couple of matches, you'll be better off.

GB: LMAO!

albionmoonlight: You are correct, that was horrible way to die, especially since Love Hurts couldn't hit him again. If you didn't notice, that was a hell of an upset by Love Hurts. If he didn't get that shot in when he did, Ca$h would have devastated him with the chains. Feel free to enroll your next fighter. ;)

Breeze: Unfortunately, you can't train until one of the following events occurs:
1. You win a match
2. You reach a multiple of (5) in prestige points.
3. You make it to the offseason alive (the season is 10 weeks long, Thursday will be weak 4)

Also, I'll be doing the weapon draws for Thursday's matches sometime this afternoon.

[sachmo71]

Shouldn't Calaleus be level 3?

[Raven Hawk]

Shouldn't Calaleus be level 3?
You are correct, sir! Fixed.

[sterlingice]

Ok, finals are close enough to over. I'm in.

Slave: Parvus Caesar (think: "pizza! pizza!")
Weapon: Knife

SI

[KWhit]

And why am I a cheap slut?
Gunther GoBoom suddenly like MikeVic.

[JAG]

JAGus "mAd" MAXimus remained as still as he could in his hospital slab. Each breath he drew was like agony, but he had to pay it no mind: he needed to get the word out. Finally the scribe came to his room and began taking down his words.

"The House of Four Fingered Flynn has shown itself to be a haven for sniveling CHEATING weaklings. Without their actions this past match which sullied the honor that is the Thunderdome, I would not be in my current condition. Due to their treachery, I hereby dedicate myself to the erradication of that House and all it stands for. In addition, every fighter I kill from the Four Fingered Flynn stable will be mutilated in more and more brutal fashion until I have finally won my freedom. Consider this a warning and challenge to the cowards that reside in that House."

Satisfied his words would be carried to the masses, JAGus finally stopped his speach and angrily waved the scribe out of his mudhut. Those Four Fingered Flynn scums would pay dearly once he was no longer able to see his own ribs.

[albionmoonlight]

Fighter: Big Billy Badass
Weapon: Chains

B3 does not care who buys him and issues a challenge to anyone man enough to take it as soon as he has a house.

[sachmo71]

Gunther GoBoom suddenly like MikeVic.

Suspect.

[KWhit]

Fighter: Big Billy Badass
Weapon: Chains

B3 does not care who buys him and issues a challenge to anyone man enough to take it as soon as he has a house.

Gunther GoBoom wonder if B3 is friend to 3R?

[Raven Hawk]

WEAPON SELECTION FOR THURSDAY:

Erik Flamebeard of the Neither Here nor There (Rank 1, Malice Unchained) vs. Revile the Revolting (Rank 1, Bloodhaus)
Weapons: Warhammer, Longsword, Spear, Spear
Analysis: Erik Flamebeard gets a lucky draw as his Warhammer is amongst the weapons selected for the match. Revile doesn't feel to good about his selection. Look for Revile to try to control the Warhammer. If he can't do that, he'll likely try to keep Erik at range with the spear.

Gunther GoBoom (Rank 1, Bloodhaus) vs. Dr. Fantastic (Rank 1, Malice Unchained)
Weapons: Claymore, Chainsaw, Claymore, Lead Pipe
Analysis: Gunther like chainsaw. Gunther want chainsaw. Dr. Fantastic will make an attempt at the chainsaw also, but if that should fail, he will also try to keep Gunther and his chainsaw at range with one of the two claymores available. Gunther becomes a slight favorite over the doctor.

Pilot the Cruel (Rank 1, House Corax) vs. Froggius (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited)
Weapons: Claymore, Crowbar, Knife, Spear
Analysis: Froggius gets the lucky draw here. As is usual in Rank 1 fights, a lot depends on weapon selection. If Froggius controls the Claymore, he'll chop Pilot to pieces. If Pilot controls the Claymore, it will be an even match. Pilot can take more damage than Froggius, but he hopes that he doesn't have to.

Blade6119 (Rank 1, The House of Four Fingers) vs. The Chief (Rank 2, Pain Unlimited)
Weapons: Machete, Spear, Chains, Spiked Club
Analysis: No luck for either opponent. Blade6119 is skilled in Rapier and The Chief is skilled in the use of the chainsaw. Look for The Chief to use his Misdirection attacks when feasible to throw off Blade6119. The Chief is favored to win this fight.

Hokius Maximus (Rank 2, House Corax) vs. Big Bad (Rank 1, Malice Unchained)
Weapons: Chains, Axe, Warhammer, Lead Pipe
Analysis: Both men get a stroke of luck in this match. At the gun, Big Bad will head for his Warhammer and Hokius will head for his Axe. The two will meet in the middle of the ring brandishing their weapons of choice and it will be a classic duel. As both men are proficient, watch for alot of parries. The match will most likely end abruptly if one of the two is able to penetrate the other's defense. Hokius can take a heavier hit than Big Bad and may need to in order to win. Early odds on this fight are 1:1.

[JeeberD]

Jeebies blade thrusts at Flatulon's neck and hits its mark. The blade pierces through the skin and in a moment, blood explodes out from Flatulon's neck. Flatulon gurgles for a moment, then falls to the ground, dead.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Little Jeebie Dee is Rank 2 and receives 1 prestige point. The Rooster collects the $12,000 purse and teaches Little Jeebie how to better anticipate his opponents attacks. Little Jeebie Dee was not injured in the course of the fight and may fight when he next wishes.

Beautiful...

*Sniff*

[JeeberD]

Dola-

Oh. and Little Jeebie Dee, your a$$ is mine. Do you accept the challenge?

Bring it!!!

[KWhit]

Gunther GoBoom smile as chainsaw is announced.

Gunther love chainsaw. Like to sleep with it in bed and smell the oil. Touch the teeth.

Gunther need Kleenex. Prefers Puffs Plus with Aloe.

[Coffee Warlord]

It's Thursday!

What does that mean, folks? Erik Flamebeard of the Neither Here Nor There is ready for.......THUNNNNNNNNDERDOME!

[Travis]

Big Bad happy, both get best most favorite toys.

Come out and play Hokius.....Come out and plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayay!

[Qwikshot]

I challenge the computer guy...I'm itchin for a fight.

[Raven Hawk]

Welcome, Everbody! To Week 4 of Thunderdome!

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

First up on the card is:

Erik Flamebeard (of the neither here nor there) vs. Revile the Revolting

[Raven Hawk]

Erik Flamebeard of the Neither Here nor There (Rank 1, Malice Unchained) vs. Revile the Revolting (Rank 1, Bloodhaus)

Purse: $12,000

Weapons: Warhammer, Longsword, Spear, Spear

At the paddocks it very apparent that Erik Flamebeard (of the neither here nor there) is overconfident. He got the weapon's draw that favored him. He looks to be in bad form, perhaps from all the partying last night. Revile, however, isn't quite revolting today. In fact, as the hanidcappers put it: "He's in the best shape of his short life." The line is set at 3:2 in favor of Revile despite weapon selection. The two men enter the ring and are led to their respective corners. Their shackles are released. The host takes the mic . . . "BEGIN!" Both men head directly for the warhammer.

[Raven Hawk]

Revile is agile as a cat today and gets to the warhammer first. As he's picking up the massive weapon, Erik coolly heads toward the nearest spear. Revile looks like he'll be able to get a shot off before Erik can pick up the spear. He swings with all his might . . .

[Raven Hawk]

And the warhammer is too unwieldy for the slender man. The warhammer slips from his grip and lands at the feet of Erik Flamebeard. Erik grabs the spear and chucks it excitedly at Revile, who is now heading for another weapon. The spear glances off of Revile's side opening a small wound. Revile bends over to pick up the spear that was thrown at him and Erik grabs for the hammer at his feet.

[Raven Hawk]

Erik gets the hammer and advances on Revile. With a cool swing, he strikes Revile in the stomach. Revile's rock hard abs absorb the blow as he rolls with the weak swing, resulting in superficial damage. Revile counters with a thrusting spear, but can't get a good strike in after his defensive maneuver. Erik, picks another angle with the hammer and raises it high to bring it down hard on Revile. Revile gets his spear up in time to block . . .

[Coffee Warlord]

ERIK SMASHED!

[Raven Hawk]

But the force of the blow is to heavy and Revile's wirey arms can't handle the momentum of the swing. His arms give and the head of the hammer lands on his shoulder. Erik smiles, knowing that he got a good hit in. Revile can't mount a counter to the overhead swing.

[Raven Hawk]

Erik can smell victory and aggressively swings his hammer overhead again. Revile has had enough of the close range and backs outside of the hammer's range, leaving the hammer to strike the dirt beneath their feet. Revile counters with a sound thrust, but the master of the hammer parries the spearhead away.

[Raven Hawk]

Both men are now playing the range game, Erik tries to close the range and Revile tries to open it up. Erik charges Revile with the hammer swings right down Revile's center line. Revile cannot handle the charge and the warhammer connects with his head. The hammer hits Revile square in the forehead sending his head backwards, crushing his skull and breaking his neck. Revile collapses to the dirt below.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Erik Flamebeard (of the neither here nor there) is promoted to Rank 2 and receives 1 prestige point. The Rooster collects the $12,000 purse and offers to train Erik how to better anticipate his opponents attacks.

[Raven Hawk]

Next up: Gunther GoBoom vs. Dr. Fantastic

[Raven Hawk]

Gunther GoBoom (Rank 1, Bloodhaus) vs. Dr. Fantastic (Rank 1, Malice Unchained)

Purse: $12,000

Weapons: Claymore, Chainsaw, Claymore, Lead Pipe

The men enter the paddocks. As is customary, the challenger enters first. Gunther GoBoom walks in with steel in his eyes. He is in excellent form. Gunther often walks out close to the crowd and offers up phrases like, "Bet on Gunther or Gunther smash you!" or "Gunther go to the bathroom, then Gunther go to the ring, then Gunther GO BOOM!" Dr. Fantastic is looking in terrible shape coming out of the paddocks. The odds are closed at 3:1 in favor of Gunther, but what do oddsmakers know? The two men enter the arena. The host takes the microphone . . . "BEGIN!" Both men head for the chainsaw . . .

[Raven Hawk]

Gunther flies out of the corner and grabs the chainsaw, Dr. F changes course for the nearest claymore. Gunther gives the chainsaw cord a tug and it begins purring like a kitten in his hand. Dr. F gets to the claymore and picks it up. The two close their distance and Dr. F gets off the first swing . . .

[Raven Hawk]

Unwisely, Dr. F opts for a misdirection attack with his claymore. He brings the claymore overhead and swings downward at an angle. Halfway through the swing he rolls his hands over and attempts to cut back at the opposite downward angle. Gunther doesnt go for it and sparks fly off the claymore as the chainsaw blade strikes it away. Gunther counters . . .

[Raven Hawk]

And with an ugly swing, he connects . . . with the claymore again. I tell you, Gunther had Dr. F dead to rights, but attacked his sword instead of his body. Is Gunther just playing around? Gunther attacks again, this time stepping into better range and he swings with the chainsaw. Dr. F looks like a natural with the claymore and parries the chainsaw away. Dr. F counters with an aggressive swing of his own . . .

[Raven Hawk]

And once again metal and sparks ring out as Gunther blocks with the chainsaw. Both men circle, Gunther's face tells a story of confusion, while Dr. F's tells a story of desperation. Dr. F moves in as Gunther opps for a defensive stance. Gunther blocks and has his combination set up as he moves into range on Dr. F. Whack! Whack! Whack! and Dr. F has three gashes on his body. One in the leg, and two in the abdomen. Dr. F staggers backwards . . .

[Raven Hawk]

Gunther isn't wasting any more time as he steps in to finish off the job. Revving the chainsaw, he stabs the chainsaw into Dr. F's chest the chainsaw bites and blood starts to fly everywhere as it is ejected from Dr. F's body by the hungry chainsaw. That's about all Dr. F can take as his body goes limp and the claymore drops from his hand.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Gunther GoBoom is promoted to Rank 2 and receives 1 prestige point. Demetrius Cavish collects the $12,000 purse and buys Gunther shoulder-guard armor.

[Raven Hawk]

Next up: Pilot the Cruel vs. Froggius

[Raven Hawk]

Pilot the Cruel (Rank 1, House Corax) vs. Froggius (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited)

Weapons: Claymore, Crowbar, Knife, Spear

It is apparent in the paddocks before the match that Pilot the Cruel is just not in the shape he needs to be in to win a fight. Froggius is in decent shape and has the weapon selection in his favor. The question is: Are Pilot's cruel intentions enough to win him the fight? Let's find out. The odds going into the match are 5-2 in favor of Froggius. Today's host of honor is none other than Jesse "The Body" Ventura. Jesse takes the mic and calls out the start . . . "BEGIN!" The two men dart for the claymore.

[Raven Hawk]

Pilot thanks the lord as he gets to the claymore first. Froggius doesn't give it up easily, though and puts a shoulder into Pilot's ribs. Froggius slams into Pilot and knocks him to the ground. Pilot, not wanting to give up control of the claymore, takes it to the ground with him and lands on it! The claymore opens a deep slice in Pilot's side.

[Raven Hawk]

Pilot, in pain tries to escape Froggius, but Froggius grabs for the claymore that Pilot is laying on. The two men roll around on the ground for a moment, but Pilot eventually escapes from Froggius. Now Froggius has a panicked look on his face. Where's the nearest weapon?!! Pilot swings the great sword at Froggius . . .

[Raven Hawk]

But Froggius is too quick and he gets out of the sword's arc. Froggius spots the crowbar and makes a break for it with Pilot following close behind. Pilot swings and misses the dodgy young Frog-boy yet again. Froggius grabs hold of the crowbar and brings it into ready position before Pilot swings again. That claymore looks much bigger than that crowbar . . .

[PilotMan]

Well that sucked.

Stay tuned for the next incarnation.

[Raven Hawk]

But the crowbar is solid enough to block the claymore's strike. Froggius attempts to move into range with the crowbar as Pilot cautiously backs up and swings. Once again, the crowbar proves to be trusty shield as Froggius scoops the claymore's blade away with its hook. Froggius counters with a short inside swing. He swings and Pilot moves out of the way at the last moment to avoid the blow. Out of his defensive stance, Pilot counters with a cut of his own . . .

[Raven Hawk]

And connects . . . with the very tip, barely leaving a scratch on his opponent. As both men begin to fatigue, they both charge each other in hope to end the brawl quickly. The claymore comes in first, and once again Froggius is able to hook the blade away. This time, Froggius counters with the unhooked end of the crowbar with a thrust to the chest . . .

[Raven Hawk]

And the sharpened end lands squarely in Pilot's chest breaking the sternum and puncturing his heart. Pilot staggers backwards clutching his heart, with a look of disbelief staring back at Froggius. Froggius stands like a statue, posing for photos after he retracted the crowbar from Pilot's chest. Pilot falls to the ground and his world goes black.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Froggius is promoted to Rank 2 and receives 1 prestige point. Torbjorg collects the $12,000 purse and offers to train Froggius in one of the fighting styles Normal,Defensive, Aggressive, Misdirection).

[Raven Hawk]

Next up: The fight you've all been waiting for! Can Blade6119 shake his dynasty curse?

Blade6119 vs. The Chief

[PilotMan]

Slave Name: Pilot the Savage
Weapon: Axe

[Coffee Warlord]

Froooooogggggggiuuuuussssssss!

Erik Flamebeard of the Neither Here Nor There demands you present yourself for Smashing!

Hammers crush frogs quite nicely. Even Froggiuses. You will be smashed by Erik.

[Raven Hawk]

Blade6119 (Rank 1, The House of Four Fingers) vs. The Chief (Rank 2, Pain Unlimited)

Purse: $18,000

Weapons: Machete, Spear, Chains, Spiked Club

As Blade6119 walks out onto the stage at the paddocks, it seems as though a black cloud is following him. He often spoke of dreams about dead ancestry. Would this be the fateful day that he dreaded all his life? The oddsmakers say: Yes! - 6:1 in favor of The Chief. Blade6119 is in horrible form and, you guessed it, The Chief is in superb form. Jesse "The Body" looks solemly upon Blade6119 as he picks up the microphone . . . "BEGIN!" The Chief heads for the chains. Blade 6119 heads for the machete.

[Raven Hawk]

The two men reach their weapons at nearly the same time. They both pick their weapons up and The Chief starts closing the gap. Blade6119, attempting to avoid the inevitable, takes up a defensive stance. When The Chief gets into range, however, it is Blade6119 who is first to strike. The Chief easily avoids Blade6119's weak attempt and counters . . .

[Raven Hawk]

The blow lands on the doomed Blade6119, striking him in the head. Blade6119 fatefully takes the blow and continues to fight unmoved, awaiting his impending destruction. But perhaps, that shot to the head knocked some sense into him . . . Blade6119 shifts his guard and attacks low, The Chief avoids the low shot, but that's exactly what Blade6119 wanted him to do . . .

[Raven Hawk]

Blade6119, midstrike, changes his angle and slice up The Chief's belly, opening a 5 inch cut on his stomach. The Chief is amazed by this, but swings back, obviously distracted by his bleeding stomach. Blade6119 easily avoids the chains, but slips in The Chief's blood . . .

[Raven Hawk]

Down goes Blade6119, to the dirt and The Chief chases him with the chains. Blade6119 rolls out of the way, but is unable to get up. The Chief swings again, but now he slips in his own blood. What the hell? Does The Chief bleed laundry detergent? Blade6119 siezes the opportunity and gets to his feet. Swinging wildly (as if he has a chance to win) Blade6119 strikes down on the prone Chief with his machete . . .

[Raven Hawk]

But is unable to connect. The Chief rolls out of his way and back up onto his feet. Both men look cautiously at the pool of blood and step away from it. Blade6119 strikes again as The Chief defends. The Chief avoids the machete and returns a shot with the chains which goes wide.

[Raven Hawk]

Falling back on what has worked, Blade6119 swings low again, but this time, The Chief is not fooled by the misdirection. The Chief steps to his left and Blade6119's following shot has no chance to hit. The Chief, however, has set himself up nicely and looses the chains at Blade6119's head once again. . .

[Raven Hawk]

And The Chief has unloads the most beautiful combination ever seen in the history of Thunderdome, hitting his victim a total of five times. The chains strike Blade6119 first in the head causing blood to explode from the wound. The chains then return strike Blade6119 in the midsection, then in the knee, dropping Blade6119 to his other knee. The chains come back to strike Blade6119 in the head and close by wrapping around his neck. Blade6119 is dead before The Chief even begins to choke Blade6119 with the chains. The Chief holds the choke for a moment, just for show, before letting the ill-fated Blade6119 drop to the ground.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

The Chief has been promoted to Rank 3 and has earned 1 prestige point. Torbjorg collects the $18,000 purse and offers to further teach The Chief in stylization.The Chief will be in the infirmary for two weeks due to the nasty wound on his stomach. He'll be able to fight again in week 7 (Dec 28).

[Raven Hawk]

Next up: The main event!

Hokius Maximus vs. Big Bad

Let's get it on!

[Raven Hawk]

Hokius Maximus (Rank 2, House Corax) vs. Big Bad (Rank 1, Malice Unchained)

Weapons: Chains, Axe, Warhammer, Lead Pipe

Both men come into the paddocks in decent for. Hokius Maximus is in worse shape than Big Bad, but form shouldn't be a factor in this fight. Instead look for the fight to end quickly as the two men have weapons available to them that they are proficient in. The early odds stay true as the book closes with the fighter at 1:1. Jesse "The Body" takes the stand of the main event. Both men are directed to their corners as the lovely dancers dance about them wearing next to nothing. In fact, one dancer makes the comment, "So THAT's why they call you Big Bad!" Big Bad tries to focus, instead, on the fight, but is failing miserably. Jesse takes up the microphone and gives the command . . . "BEGIN!" The fighters leave their corners and head for their weapons . . .

[Raven Hawk]

Hokius gets to the axe first and picks it up. Big Bad does the same at the warhammer pedestal. The two men walk toward the center of the ring cautiously. Hokius is the first to attack. He cocks his axe back and swings horizontally across Big Bad's midsection. Big Bad takes a step back, avoiding the blow, before swinging heavily with the warhammer . . .

[Raven Hawk]

Big Bad hits Hokius with a strong blow to the chest and momentarily knocks the wind out the more experienced fighter. Hokius staggers back and Big Bad follows, swinging the hammer just as heavily. This time Big Bad barely gets a piece of Hokius' arm. Hokius counters hesitantly.

[VPI97]

Go Hokius!

[Raven Hawk]

And Big Bad is able to block with the monstrous hammer. Big Bad comes back over the top of Hokius' axe, but Hokius brushes the blow aside easily. Hokius tries a cut back in from the side as he steps into the swing and connects, but barely draws any blood from a small cut in Big Bad's chest. Big Bad, stumbles for a moment as he tries to return fire and is intercepted by Hokius' swing. Hokius once again opens up a small wound, this time on Big Bad's forearm.

[VPI97]

Damn

[Raven Hawk]

Hokius swings again, bearing the axe overhead this time he connects solidly with Big Bad's chest. Big Bad falls backwards, but is able to keep his momentum from taking him to the ground. He clutches his chest and coughs . . . blood. Big Bad brings his warhammer back to ready position and walks back into the fray.

[Raven Hawk]

Big Bad knows he needs to end this one quick and swings his hammer with force. The warhammer passes Hokius' guard and connects with Hokius' head. Hokius' world goes black and he collapses to the ground. Big Bad steps over the unconscious body and swings down hard on Hokius' chest embedding the warhammer head deep within.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Big Bad falls over clutching his chest and spittin up blood. The medical staff soon arrives on sight. It doesn't look good for the winner. But it's still a better outlook than the loser's.

Big Bad is promoted to Rank 2 and earns 2 prestige points. The Rooster collects the $18,000 purse and teaches Big Bad how to better anticipate his opponents attacks. Big Bad is in critical condition and will need three weeks to fully heal. He will be able to fight again in week 8 (Dec 30).

[Raven Hawk]

That is the end of week 4. Feel free to sign up for Friday's Auction Block. Deadline is 10AM CST.

I'll update the first post shortly.

[Coffee Warlord]

"It Was His Destiny"

I was laughing at 'Erik Smash Head', then I saw that. And hilarity ensued!

[Raven Hawk]

I give you, the Hall of Fodder!

<TABLE cellSpacing=0 bgColor=#ffffff border=1><CAPTION></CAPTION><THEAD><TR><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>SlaveName</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Rank</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Slayer</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>DeathThroe</TH></TR></THEAD><TBODY><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Godzillius Blitz</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Calaleus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Axehead in the head</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Ajtuck</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Godzillius Blitz</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Crushed Windpipe and Suffocation</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The Hunter</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>JAGus "Mad" MAXimus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>New Entrée: Shishka-heart</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Rizarro</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>JAGus "Mad" MAXimus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Didn't See the Crowbar Coming</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Thickthumbs the Violent Tempered</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Rizarro</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Machete Embedded in Skull</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Myrdrimor</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Calaleus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Lost his Head to an Axe</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Coffee Warlord</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Qwikshot</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Lost his Head to a Machete</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Jeeberus Dee</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>MC²</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Neck/Axe Incompatability Issues</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Hokius Maximus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Big Bad</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Crushed Head & Chest</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>DeToxusRoxus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Hokius Maximus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Cut in Twain by Chainsaw</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>HellAntic</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Split Peon the First</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Lost his Head to a Machete</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Sinister Vibes</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The Chief</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Axe Embedded in Chest</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Kingfc22</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Fattoe the Smashifier</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Brained by Lead Pipe</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Gaius Julius Vincius</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Fattoe the Smashifier</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Severed Artery in Leg</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Flatulon</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Little Jeebie Dee</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Longsword Caught in Neck</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Dr. Fantastic</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Gunther GoBoom</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Chainsaw bit him in the chest</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Ca$h Money</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Love Hurts</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodloss to Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Pilot the Cruel</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Froggius</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Stabbed in the Chest w/Crowbar</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Revile the Revolting</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Erik Flamebeard (of the neither her nor there)</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Erik Smash Head</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Blade6119</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The Chief</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>It Was His Destiny</TD></TR></TBODY><TFOOT></TFOOT></TABLE>

[Raven Hawk]

I challenge the computer guy...I'm itchin for a fight.
Incidentally Calaleus accepts.

[Erik Flamebeard of The Neither Here Nor There]

I am Erik Flamebeard of the Neither Here Nor There. The revolting one looks more pretty now that he is smashed. He will make his funny talk no more. His head being smashed was a funny noise, though. Erik will drink to his victory!

Erik hopes Froggius accepts his challenge, and does not talk as much. Erik's head still hurts from the smashed Revolting One's talk.

[Coffee Warlord]

Clearing Erik from last poster.

[KWhit]

Gunther isn't wasting any more time as he steps in to finish off the job. Revving the chainsaw, he stabs the chainsaw into Dr. F's chest the chainsaw bites and blood starts to fly everywhere as it is ejected from Dr. F's body by the hungry chainsaw. That's about all Dr. F can take as his body goes limp and the claymore drops from his hand.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Gunther GoBoom is promoted to Rank 2 and receives 1 prestige point. Demetrius Cavish collects the $12,000 purse and buys Gunther shoulder-guard armor.
Gunther GoBoom licks the blood from the chainsaw.

Gunther glad he remembered to turn it off first.

[KWhit]

Winstorm 1 - Gunther GoBoom challenge you!

Gunther look forward to making a Winstorm 1 sandwich. Sliced thin. With provalone and dijon mustard.

[Travis]

Big Bad not like hole in chest, but see another who holey too.

Jagus, come out and plaaaaaaaaaaaaaay little man.

(assuming we can still fight while wounded if we choose?)

[korme]

my guys are 0-2, this sucks

Name: Schizophrenic
Weapon: Spiked Club

[JAG]

Big Bad not like hole in chest, but see another who holey too.

Jagus, come out and plaaaaaaaaaaaaaay little man.

(assuming we can still fight while wounded if we choose?)

While I have demanded the blood of the four fingered ones, let it never be said that JAGus, the mAd one, has ever backed down from a challenge. Especially from a hulking idiot with a hole in his chest bigger than mine. I accept. This Tuesday, I will feast on your beating heart and use your entrails for floss!

[MikeVic]

Someone buy me! I'm cheap! You won't be disappointed............

[kingfc22]

Since Professor Plum doesn't want any of King II. I issue an open challenge to anyone who wants to die at my hands.

[sachmo71]

Since Professor Plum doesn't want any of King II. I issue an open challenge to anyone who wants to die at my hands.


Fattoe accept challenge.

[kingfc22]

King II will avenge his father's death.

[Godzilla Blitz]

*snickers*

So, Blade6119, how did you do today?

*snickers*

The curse lives on, and in its typically spectacular fashion! One thing must be said for Blade6119, he knows how to die in style!

Great stuff, RH!

[Raven Hawk]

my guys are 0-2, this sucks

Name: Schizophrenic
Weapon: Spiked ClubJust so you know, this dynasty will probably be popular among the fans of MXC as it hands down some of the same comic delight. I envision Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano being the official announcers for Thunderdome. For every contestant who succeeds in climbing the hill, there are fifty who get mauled by the giant foam boulders and go toppling back down to the bottom.

Vic: "This John Nasty, he runs a scratch and sniff adult entertainment site."
Ken: "Yeah you should go there, scratch the taco."
Vic: "Will do, Ken."

[PilotMan]

RH I guessed you missed this with it being so fast and all:

Slave Name: Pilot the Savage
Weapon: Axe


<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

[SplitPersonality1]

"This is Bunny Blue - Thunderdome reporter, talking to Split Peon..."

Split Peon: "That's Mr. the First, Bunny"

Bunny Blue: "OK...talking about life as a warrior in the Thunderdome. So Mr. the First, what will you do if you successfully win your freedom? Will you start your own fighting house?"

Split Peon: "Well Bunny, I propbably will, but my first love is music. I will prabably start a band and tour as a rock star."

Bunny: "Really. You write music?"

Split Peon: "Well of course. I am a man of many talents. In fact, I have a song that I would like to perform fpr you right now. My inpiration is my upcoming fight next week. Wanna hear it? Ok Hear it goes."

Bunny: "Okaaaay."

Split Peon: "Ahem.

(sung to the tune of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star)
Little Jeebie Dee will die
All his friends and fans will cry
With a longsword in my hand
I will be the better man
Little Jeebie Dee will die
When I stab him in the eye

How was that?"

Bunny: "Uh...well...um...OK"

Split Peon: "I suppose you want my autograph now. Wanna be my first groupie?"

Bunny: "Um..no. Back to you Phil."

Split Peon: "Come on baby, give this rock star the love he deserves."

Bunny: "Phil, I mean it. Back to you!"

[MikeVic]

Just so you know, this dynasty will probably be popular among the fans of MXC as it hands down some of the same comic delight. I envision Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano being the official announcers for Thunderdome. For every contestant who succeeds in climbing the hill, there are fifty who get mauled by the giant foam boulders and go toppling back down to the bottom.

Vic: "This John Nasty, he runs a scratch and sniff adult entertainment site."
Ken: "Yeah you should go there, scratch the taco."
Vic: "Will do, Ken."

MXC is awesome.

[fantastic flying froggies]

Erik hopes Froggius accepts his challenge, and does not talk as much. Erik's head still hurts from the smashed Revolting One's talk.
Oh, I accept and don't worry, will not talk you to death. They don't call me the Silent Assassin for nothing. I do intend on cutting you up in little pieces and shipping them back to where you came from in, err... Here ? or was it There?

Froggius would like to train in Agressive style. I do not want to die like a coward cowering in a corner or some silly guy running around the arena...

[JeeberD]

Froggius would like to train in Agressive style. I do not want to die like a coward cowering in a corner or some silly guy running around the arena...

Have you never seen Life of Brian? Running around the arena can be a beautiful thing! :D

[Blade6119]

Slave Name: Bladed Death
Favorite Weapon: Rapier
Stable to Fight for: House Corax

[fantastic flying froggies]

Have you never seen Life of Brian? Running around the arena can be a beautiful thing! :D
That's exactly what I had in mind when I wrote my post... :D

[KWhit]

Winstorm 1 - Gunther GoBoom challenge you!

Gunther look forward to making a Winstorm 1 sandwich. Sliced thin. With provalone and dijon mustard.
Gunther GoBoom think Winstorm 1 is little girl afraid to fight.

[SplitPersonality1]

Split Peon decided to check the announcement board for next weeks fight. He loves the fact that his bout with Jeebie Dee will be the main event.

*What the ?*

"I've been bumped? For Quikshot and that idiot from House Corax?" shouted SplitP.

"I challenge the winner of the Quikshot & Calaleus fight. No one upstages Split Peon the First." :mad:

[JeeberD]

Don't count your chickens, SP...

[SplitPersonality1]

Don't count your chickens, SP...

Ha. Of course I will defeat you. I've already written a song about my impending victory. Perhaps I should write a few more so I can sing over your lifeless corpse.

I am Split Peon the First and I will emerge victorious!

[Coffee Warlord]

Oh, I accept and don't worry, will not talk you to death. They don't call me the Silent Assassin for nothing. I do intend on cutting you up in little pieces and shipping them back to where you came from in, err... Here ? or was it There?

Froggius would like to train in Agressive style. I do not want to die like a coward cowering in a corner or some silly guy running around the arena...

Good. Erik does not like people sniveling and whining when they die. Dying silently is much more manly. Erik shall smash your face in, and honor your death with a tankard of ale, for you say you will die well.

[Breeze]

Windstorm 1 - stupidly accepts GoBoom's Challenge. Of course if I was smart I wouldn't be in this mess to begin with.

[Raven Hawk]

Results of Friday's Auction:

<TABLE cellSpacing=0 bgColor=#ffffff border=1><CAPTION></CAPTION><THEAD><TR><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Rank</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Reserve</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>SlaveName</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Weapons</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Wounds</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Styles</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>House Name</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>WinningBid</TH></TR></THEAD><TBODY><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$12,000.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Big Billy Badass</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Chains</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>23</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>None</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Malice Unchained</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$16,000.00</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$12,000.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Godzillius Blitz II</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Longsword</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>23</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>None</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Pain Unlimited</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$13,000.00</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$12,000.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>HornsManiac</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Lead Pipe</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>23</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>None</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$14,000.00</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$11,000.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Dorrain</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Longsword</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>22</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>None</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$15,000.00</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$10,000.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bladed Death</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Rapier</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>21</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>None</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$11,000.00</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$10,000.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Parvus Caesar</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Knife</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>20</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>None</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Pain Unlimited</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$12,000.00</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$10,000.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Pilot the Savage</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Axe</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>20</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>None</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Malice Unchained</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$14,000.00</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$10,000.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Professor Plumb</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Lead Pipe</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>20</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>None</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Pain Unlimited</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$10,000.00</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$10,000.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Schizophrenic</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Spiked Club</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>20</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>None</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$14,000.00</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$10,000.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The Real Deal</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Lead Pipe</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>20</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>None</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Malice Unchained</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$11,000.00</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$8,000.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>King II</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Warhammer</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>18</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>None</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$12,000.00</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$8,000.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Mikail Vicious</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Machete</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>18</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>None</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$11,000.00</TD></TR></TBODY><TFOOT></TFOOT></TABLE>

I'll be updating page 1 soon.

[Coffee Warlord]

And I'm waiting for the deluge of challenges to HornsManiac. :)

[MikeVic]

Hah, I'm an 11 Million dollar slut!

[Raven Hawk]

News & Notes:

The House of Four Fingers has been fined $10,000 for an incident in a week 3 match. Flynn was found guilty of bribing weapons handlers to empty the gas tank on a chainsaw prior to the match. The match ended with his fighter, Rizarro, dieing at the hands of JAGus "mAd" MAXimus. According to local sources, Flynn was found pawning jewelry and visiting loan sharks to get enough money to enter his three fighters in this week's match. A poor showing by his fighters might put his stable out of business.

--------------

The mysterious investor in Malice Unchained, Inc. has revealed herself as the major shareholder of the outfit. Jenna Jameson said that she has a relationship with The Rooster that dates back to his pre-fighting days when he performed with her in a few short films. The Rooster a.k.a. Richard Long, performed in three such movies with the starlet before his incarceration for animal husbandry. Long was sent to work the salt mines, but soon opted to fight in Thunderdome in lieu of his sentence. The rest, as they say, is history my friends.

--------------------------------

Rumors abound about the scheduling of a match between Big Bad and JAGus "mAd" MAXimus this week. According to our sources here at Thunderdome TV, the fight, which was originally scheduled to take place in week 5 was moved to week 6. Thunderdome spokesperson and Chief of Operations, Edward Norton, stated:

"The Calaleus-Qwikshot fight is already a large purse fight scheduled for week 5. We wanted to spread our these fights out over two weeks. Plus, this gives the two fighters and extra week to heal."

Sources speculate that Malice Unchained was grateful with the decision to postpone the fight, but that Pain Unlimited was disappointed and had hoped the fight could take place as scheduled.

[MikeVic]

Gunther better stay away from me... we're in the same stable and all, but I don't want any funny business.........

[Coffee Warlord]

Erik requests a visit from Jenna after Erik wins his next fight.

[hoopsguy]

I have zero interest in fighting any of the other eleven slaves that were sold alongside me. I'm hunting bigger game. I challenge any Level 2 fighter to come meet their maker. It should be an honor to be the answer to the trivia question, "Who was the first of ten slaves to fall before Hornsmaniac?"

[JAG]

According to local sources, Flynn was found pawning jewelry and visiting loan sharks to get enough money to enter his three fighters in this week's match. A poor showing by his fighters might put his stable out of business.

And if his fighters do well before they get to me, I'll be the one to put them out of business. Muhahahahaha.



Rumors abound about the scheduling of a match between Big Bad and JAGus "mAd" MAXimus this week. According to our sources here at Thunderdome TV, the fight, which was originally scheduled to take place in week 5 was moved to week 6. Thunderdome spokesperson and Chief of Operations, Edward Norton, stated:

"The Calaleus-Qwikshot fight is already a large purse fight scheduled for week 5. We wanted to spread our these fights out over two weeks. Plus, this gives the two fighters and extra week to heal."

Sources speculate that Malice Unchained was grateful with the decision to postpone the fight, but that Pain Unlimited was disappointed and had hoped the fight could take place as scheduled.

We haven't given up hope scheduling this fight for Tuesday. We're trying to tie in the two matches as a special twinbill, hoping to increase viewership with some high-powered matches.

(it's really not because JAGus was looking to get some extensive fighting-while-injured training from Torbjorg. Really).

[Desnudo]

Animal husbandry. The fiend!

[WSUCougar]

Fighter: Big Billy Badass
Weapon: Chains

B3 does not care who buys him and issues a challenge to anyone man enough to take it as soon as he has a house.
Challenge accepted. Or shall I say "Bring it on, William?"

Professor Plum, with the lead pipe, in the Thunderdome.

[RainRaven]

Dorrain will fight anyone that steps forth. It will be honorable to impale you and allow you to leave this world.

[JAG]

Challenge accepted. Or shall I say "Bring it on, William?"

Professor Plum, with the lead pipe, in the Thunderdome.

I think you'll find life in Pain Unlimited to be much happier.

[sterlingice]

I (Parvus Caesar) challenge Bladed Death just to show him that my luck is even worse than his!

SI

[Blade6119]

I (Parvus Caesar) challenge Bladed Death just to show him that my luck is even worse than his!

SI

BRING IT ON!!!