Thunderdome - Two Men Enter! One Man Leaves! [Archive] - Page 3

Raven Hawk

12-20-2004, 03:30 PM

Weapons Selection For Week 5:

Blade (Rank 1, The House of Four Fingers) vs. Mucius "The Lefty" Scaevola (Rank 1, Bloodhaus)
Weapons: Lead Pipe, Axe, Crowbar, Chainsaw
Analysis: Neither of the Rank 1 fighters are able to get a lucky draw. On the other hand, neither of them got an unlucky draw either. Blades skilled in, you guessed it, the longsword. Mucius is skilled in the use of the spear. This match will probably go off around 1:1 depending on how the fighters look in the paddocks.

MC² (Rank 2, The House of Four Fingers) vs. Raven "The Imposter" Hawk (Rank 1, Malice Unchained)
Weapons: Longsword, Chains, Warhammer, Lead Pipe
Analysis: Another even draw as Raven Hawk's machete is nowhere to be found and neither is MC's axe. MC will go off as a slight favorite in this match due to his newly acquired defensive skill. The early line in 5:4 in favor of MC.

King II (Rank 1, Bloodhaus) vs. Fattoe the Smashifier (Rank 3, Pain Unlimited)
Weapons: Machete, Axe, Warhammer, Lead Pipe
Analysis: For once Fattoe does not get lucky in the weapons draw. His rapier did not show up for him this time. King II, however, is drooling over the prospect of a warhammer in the ring. What this really serves to do is even out the match. Fattoe will use his style specializations to try to outmaneuver King and his warhammer of death. Early line says 3:2 in favor of Fattoe.

Split Peon the First (Rank 2, Bloodhaus) vs. Little Jeebie Dee (Rank 2, Malice Unchained)
Weapons: Longsword, Spear, Knife, Longsword
Analysis: This will be fun battle to watch as both fighters are Rank 2. Both are experts with the Longsword and there are two of them in the ring for this match. Split will hope that his armor holds and Little Jeebie Dee hopes that he can anticipate Split's attacks well enough to land blows before Split can strike. Early line puts this at 1:1.

Qwikshot (Rank 2, The House of Four Fingers) vs. Calaleus (Rank 3, House Corax)
Weapons: Rapier, Chainsaw, Knife, Longsword
Analysis: Although Qwikshot didn't get his machete in this match, he can consider himself a lucky man today . . . maybe not tomorrow, but today he can. This is the best situation he could hope for. Since both men are proficient with the machete, a machete draw would have been moot. However, it is lucky for Qwik that neither of Calaleus' other two weapons showed up. With that said, Qwik will use his defensive skill to avoid blows from Calaleus and do the best he can to counter with the weapons at hand. The early line is 4:3 in favor of Qwikshot.

Poli

12-20-2004, 05:03 PM

With a name like "Raven Hawk", you know the slave is actually the favorite.

albionmoonlight

12-21-2004, 09:25 AM

Challenge accepted. Or shall I say "Bring it on, William?"

Professor Plum, with the lead pipe, in the Thunderdome.
Big Billy Badass accepts your accepting.

You're going to be crying for Colonial Mustard before it is all said and done, Professor!

KWhit

12-21-2004, 09:33 AM

Big Billy Badass accepts your accepting.
Little Larry Lardass looks on lovingly.

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 10:40 AM

Just a quick note to everybody. Thunderdome will be getting a little later start today as it has been busy for me at work. I hope to get it going by 1:00 CST. Possibly sooner if I can manage it.

Thanks,

Management

Poli

12-21-2004, 10:53 AM

Fine with me. I'll just kill kittens every hour until you start.

mckerney

12-21-2004, 10:54 AM

Fine with me. I'll just kill kittens every hour until you start.

In which case, kittens will be the only thing you'll be killing today.

Poli

12-21-2004, 11:00 AM

I hate to start somewhere.

I mean, have. I have to start somewhere.

Blade6119

12-21-2004, 01:04 PM

Did Sterlingice and my match gets postponed till next week?

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 01:18 PM

Did Sterlingice and my match gets postponed till next week?
Your match is scheduled for Thursday (next week game time).

With that said . . .

IT'S TIME FOR THUNDERDOME!

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

First on the docket. Blade vs. Mucius "The Lefty" Scaevola

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 01:19 PM

Blade (Rank 1, The House of Four Fingers) vs. Mucius "The Lefty" Scaevola (Rank 1, Bloodhaus)

Purse: $12,000

Weapons: Lead Pipe, Axe, Crowbar, Chainsaw

Blade is first to enter the paddocks and he looks like he is in pretty good condition. Following close behind is Mucius who looks to be in fabulous shape. The bookies think this one is going to be over quick and have Mucius as the slight favorite. The two men are walked to the arena where they travel to their respective corners. The host gives the signal . . . ."BEGIN!" Blade breaks for the crowbar and Mucius breaks for the chainsaw . . .

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 01:19 PM

Mucius gets to the chainsaw first and gives the cord a tug. The chainsaw starts and begins its trademark purring. Blade grabs the crowbar and heads toward Mucius. Mucius steps to the side of a charging Blade and swings the chainsaw. Blade barely gets his crowbar up in time and his head stays attached to his body for the time being. Mucius returns a swing with the hooked end of the crowbar . . .

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 01:20 PM

And he hits Blade in the right arm and the crowbar traps Mucius' forearm. The resulting gash opened on Mucius' are begins bleeding. Blade yanks on the crowbar, but Mucius rolls with the pull, stepping into it and still manages to hold onto the idling chainsaw. Mucius attempts to give the crowbar another tug, but this time Mucius not only follows the pulling motion, but he also revs the chainsaw and stabs it into Blade's chest. Blade backs away and releases his grip on the crowbar as the chainsaw bites into his chest.

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 01:21 PM

The crowd roars as the chainsaw sprays blood everywhere. Blade looks for another weapon. He spots the lead pipe not too far away and breaks for it. Mucius chases with the chainsaw and can't quite get enough reach, missing Blade by an inch or two. Blade attempts to pick up the lead pipe as Mucius swings again. Blade grabs the lead pipe and gets it into a blocking position, but the chainsaw averts the block and strikes Blade in the thigh. Blade's leg goes limp and he topples to the ground.

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 01:22 PM

Mucius moves in for the kill, but Blade is still strong enough to fight off the attack. Blade swings weekly at Mucius' ankle, but his aim is a little off and he misses his mark. The lead pipe hits Mucius above the ankle. Other than causing Mucius to jump a little, the impact has no effect. Blade just won't give up! Mucius swings, but Blade is quicker. He hits Mucius in his chainsaw arm again . . .

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 01:23 PM

The impact isn't too hard, but it connects with Mucius' first wound causing the chainsaw to fall out of his hand! Mucius backs off for a moment. Blade gets his bleeding leg under him, but can't muster enough strength to chase Mucius around the arena. Mucius picks up the axe and returns to the bleeding Blade. Blade is ready for Mucius and swings and Mucius parries with the axe. Mucius' return attack is parried by Blade. The crowd begins to chant!

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 01:24 PM

Blade is getting short on breath and he needs to get a victory quick if he wants any chance at survival. Lacking the energy to do anything else, Blade fings the lead pipe at Mucius' head! Mucius ducks. Mucius attacks with the axe and this time drives the axehead deep into Blade's shoulder, breaking his collarbone and cleaving into his lungs.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Blade falls to the ground, cloven by a heavy axe head. Mucius leaves the axe where it lay and walks to the tunnel, seeking immediate medical attention.

Mucius "The Lefty" Scaevola is promoted to Rank 2 and receives 1 prestige point. Demetrius Cavish collects the $12,000 purse and buys Mucius a shoulder guard. Four Fingered Flynn winces as he can hear the death knell of his house start to sound . . .

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 01:25 PM

Next up: MC² vs. Raven "The Imposter" Hawk

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 01:29 PM

MC² (Rank 2, The House of Four Fingers) vs. Raven "The Imposter" Hawk (Rank 1, Malice Unchained)

Purse: $18,000

Weapons: Longsword, Chains, Warhammer, Lead Pipe

MC² is the first of the two warriors to enter the ring. He is in the best shape of his life. Raven Hawk will have a tough task to take down this foe. Raven Hawk enters the arena in good shape, but not as good as MC². The oddsmakers keep the odds at 5:4 in favor of MC². The two men are hearded into the arena and they go to their respective corners. The host takes the microphone and makes the familiar call . . . "BEGIN!" MC² heads for the lead pipe; Raven Hawk heads for the warhammer . . .

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 01:30 PM

The two men easily get to their weapons and pick them up. As they close the distance, Raven Hawk is the first to strike, using the length of the warhammer to his advantage. Crack! A full side swing hits MC², sending him backwards and onto his ass. The stunned fighter looks up in horror as Raven Hawk comes in to finish the fight off early.

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 01:31 PM

MC² attempts to get up, but Raven Hawk maneuvers around to prevent MC² from getting his feet under him. Raven Hawk swings the heavy warhammer at MC² again, but MC² is able to evade. MC² begins to cough up blood as he attempts to get on his feet again. This time he is successful and gets himself into a defensive stance. Raven Hawk swings the mighty hammer . . .

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 01:31 PM

But MC² uses his training to easily evade the hammer head. MC² finally gets a chance to strike back. But can't get a good shot off. Raven Hawk easily blocks the lead pipe. Still fighting defensively, MC² takes a hesitant swing at Raven Hawk, but misses. Raven Hawk swings again . . .

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 01:32 PM

And plays tee-ball with MC²'s head. The head flies into the stands and the a lucky fan has a souvenir to take home. Raven "The Imposter" Hawk looks to the stands and proclaims that he is not worthy of bearing such a noble name. Raven Hawk looks down from his box seat and nods in agreement.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Raven Hawk is promoted to Rank 2 and recieves 2 prestige points. The Rooster collects the $18,000 purse and teaches Raven Hawk how to better anticipate the attacks of his enemies. Flynn is getting nervous . . .

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 01:33 PM

Welcome to intermission. Here's the rest of today's card:

Undercard 2($25,000): King II (Rank 1, Bloodhaus) vs. Fattoe the Smashifier (Rank 3, Pain Unlimited)
Undercard 1($25,000): Split Peon the First (Rank 2, Bloodhaus) vs. Little Jeebie Dee (Rank 2, Malice Unchained)
Main Event($34,000): Qwikshot (Rank 2, The House of Four Fingers) vs. Calaleus (Rank 3, House Corax)

I'll be back in a bit!

Qwikshot

12-21-2004, 01:47 PM

Guess it's up to me to help Four Fingers...

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:07 PM

King II (Rank 1, Bloodhaus) vs. Fattoe the Smashifier (Rank 3, Pain Unlimited)

Purse: $25,000

Weapons: Machete, Axe, Warhammer, Lead Pipe

As the two men enter the paddocks, you really can't see any significant difference in their forms. Fattoe has the experience to make this a quick fight, but King II has his weapon in the ring. The line stays the same at 3:2 in favor of Fattoe. Today's guest host is Chevy Chase. The two men are led into the ring. Chevy trips on his way up to the microphone, taps it, "Is this thing on?" . . . "BE!" . . . The fighters take a step then stop. "BE!" . . . The fighters balk again. "BEGIN!" Both men head for the warhammer.

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:08 PM

Fattoe gets to the warhammer first and he has King II dead to rights. King II pivots and heads for the lead pipe as Fattoe swings! The warhammer barely grazes King II and King II makes it over to the lead pipe. But Fattoe gets another shot off as King II tries to pick up his weapon . . .

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:09 PM

And connects! Fattoe's hammer crushes into King II's back sending King II sprawling to the ground with lead pipe in hand. Fattoe swings aggressively trying to end the match quickly and connects, but barely scrapes the dodging King II. King II swings back and Fattoe takes the opportunity to smack the lead pipe out of King II's hand. King II begins to cough up blood . . .

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:10 PM

Fattoe stands over the prone, weaponless King II and brings the hammer down. King II rolls out of the way and stands up, right next to the axe. He picks up the axe and readies himself. Fattoe saunters into range and attacks King II but he can't connect. King II is doing everything that he can do to avoid the blows of Fattoe.

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:11 PM

King II, sensing his life is near its end, charges Fattoe, swinging wildly. The cornered bear tactic works as he delivers a blow to Fattoe's midsection. Fattoe, doubles over in pain and can't retaliate. The blood pours heavily out of the enormous axe wound in Fattoe's belly. King II continues coughing up blood.

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:12 PM

Fattoe, the veteran fighter, finds the energy to swing again, but is too weak to land a blow. King II returns a weak swing at Fattoe, but still gets enough momentum behind it to bury the axe in Fattoe's leg. King II coughs up blood. Fattoe bleeds profusely. Both men are lifting their weapons in defiance of their own bodies. Both men swing . . .

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:13 PM

But it is Fattoe that connects, crushing the skull of King II. King II collapses to the ground, dead. Fattoe collapses to the ground, barely alive. The medical staff runs out into the arena to see if they can salvage the life of the winning fighter. Fattoe's world goes black.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Fattoe wakes up one week later in the hospital. He'll need another three weeks to fully heal. Fattoe will not be able to fight until the season finale in Week 10. Fattoe remembers seeing a white light that he was compelled to head towards, but for some reason he didn't go there.

Fattoe the Smashifier is promoted to Rank 4 and recieves 1 prestige point. When he is healthy enough, he will be trained in another fighting style. Torbjorg collects the $25,000 purse.

fantastic flying froggies

12-21-2004, 02:19 PM

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Poli

12-21-2004, 02:20 PM

How you doing, mckerney?

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:23 PM

Next up: Split Peon the First vs. Little Jeebie Dee

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:23 PM

Split Peon the First (Rank 2, Bloodhaus) vs. Little Jeebie Dee (Rank 2, Malice Unchained)

Purse: $25,000

Weapons: Longsword, Spear, Knife, Longsword

In the paddocks before the match, both men pace anxiously. Split Peon looks to be in much better shape than Little Jeebie Dee. The oddsmakers and the fans begin to bet heavily on Split Peon the First. As the windows close, Split Peon goes off as a 2:1 favorite. The fighters are led to their corners and Chevy Chase makes the call . . . "BEGIN!" both men head for opposite longswords . . .

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:24 PM

Both men grab their swords and begin circling defensively in the center of the ring. Little Jeebie is the first to attack. He sees Split Peon shift to the left and moves in for the strike. In the name of all that is good and holy! Little Jeebie Dee steps in and strikes Split Peon in stomach. The thrust catches Split Peon by surprise. Split Peon is impaled on Little Jeebie's sword!

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:25 PM

Hoping to make it a quick end to his adversary, Little Jeebie yanks the sword out and swings at Split Peon's head. This time he lands a light blow on Split Peon's armor. Split Peon manages to retaliate but is bleeding profusely from his stomach wound. Split Peon attempts to swing again . . .

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:26 PM

But, Little Jeebie Dee just slaps Split's sword to the side. Jeebie thrusts his longsword at his foe yet again, opening up a wound in his arm. Split Peon staggers and his vision begins to go fuzzy as he tries to keep his entrails inside of himself. Jeebie swings again, but can't penetrate Split's armor. Split retaliates, but he has no energy. Split continues bleeding . . .

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:26 PM

Little Jeebie backs up for a moment to watch his opponent suffer. Split's only way out is to make a spirited charge and pray for the best. He charges, but Jeebie evades. Split collapses on the ground from the loss of blood.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Little Jeebie Dee is quick and merciful as he skillfully wields the longsword. It takes only a moment for him to bring it down on Split Peon's neck and sever the head from the body. The crowd cheers. Jeebie heads for the tunnel daydreaming about how drunk he would get tonight.

Little Jeebie Dee is promoted to Rank 3 and receives 2 prestige points. The Rooster collects the $25,000 purse and trains Little Jeebie Dee further in the art of anticipating his opponents attacks. Little Jeebie Dee was not injured during the fight and can fight again at his leisure.

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:27 PM

Next up: The main event.

Qwikshot vs. Calaleus

Can Qwikshot single handedly save The House of Four Fingers?

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:42 PM

Qwikshot (Rank 2, The House of Four Fingers) vs. Calaleus (Rank 3, House Corax)

Purse: $34,000

Weapons: Rapier, Chainsaw, Knife, Longsword

Four Fingered Flynn nervously chomped on his finger nails. Qwikshot was the only chance he had of avoiding financial ruin. Flynn was worried specifically because his fighter was going up against a higher ranked fighter. Even though Qwikshot got a good weapons draw, Flynn knew that Qwik would have to be in excellent form if he was to win the match against Calaleus. As the two fighters came out onto the paddocks, Flynn was relieved to see that his fighter was in much better shape. The oddsmakers took their notes and adjusted their odds to 3:2 in favor of Qwikshot. And we know that the oddsmakers have been in rare form today . . .

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:43 PM

The two men are led into the arena amongst the pomp and fanfare that suits the occasion. Various flares go off in the corners of the arena. The Thunderdome Girls dance about the arena scantily clad. Chevy Chase steps up to the microphone and gives the call . . . "BEGIN!" Qwik heads for the rapier, Calaleus heads for the chainsaw . . .

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:43 PM

Both men reach their weapons in a timely fashion. Qwikshot picks up the rapier and charges Calaleus while Calaleus tries to start the chainsaw. Calaleus gives the cord a tug and the chainsaw lets out a low low rumble. It stops. It starts rumbling again. It stops. It starts rumbling. Calaleus squeezes the trigger giving it some gas and the chainsaw begins idling properly.

fantastic flying froggies

12-21-2004, 02:44 PM

Wow, little Jeebie was pretty expeditive in that fight...

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:44 PM

As Qwik enters the chainsaw's attack arc, Calaleus takes a swing. Qwik easily parries the shot aside, but cannot return an accurate shot, missing by at least a foot. Calaleus attacks again and Qwik's defensive skills appear to be in good form as he parries the chainsaw again. Qwik returns a much more accurate shot this time . . .

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:45 PM

And pokes Calaleus in the leg with the rapier. The blade goes in an inch before Qwik pulls it out and into a defensive position. He quickly strikes again, but Calaleus avoids the blow. Calaleus swings the chainsaw defensively, but Qwik's defensive skill is just too much. Qwik parries once again.

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:45 PM

Calaleus reverts to a standard technique as he moves back in to attack Qwik. Calaleus' furious blow is met by Qwik's dancing rapier and turned aside. Once again, however, Qwik can't return an accurate shot and misses his opponent with the first of two following strikes. The second strike lands and opens a small wound on Calaleus. Calaleus swings wildly again, but over-rotates, leaving his back exposed to Qwik.

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:46 PM

Qwik can't capitalize, trying to strike straight for Calaleus' heart. Calaleus swings back around and into a defensive position. The two men exchange parries again. Flynn looks on nervously. Qwikshot moves into a defensive position. As Calaleus attacks, Qwik intercepts the attack and cuts at open Calaleus' left arm.

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:47 PM

Calaleus counters with a quick stab with the biting teeth of the chainsaw. Qwik is on top of his game though and parries yet another shot from Calaleus. As Qwikshot parries, he slides the blade up Calaleus' right arm and opens a small cut. Calaleus starts to feel a little light headed and charges Qwikshot. Qwik attempts to intercept, but he can't. With a heavy swing Calaleus attempts to turn the match . . .

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:47 PM

But he loses his grip on the chainsaw. It tumbles out of his hand and flies to the ground. Qwikshot decides to move himself between his foe and the chainsaw. Calaleus looks for a new weapon and finds the knife in close proximity. He grabs for it.

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:48 PM

With lightning speed, Calaleus picks up the weapon and strikes out at Qwikshot. Qwik is equal to the task and parries the blade harmlessly away. The knife seems to be just enough for Calaleus alive as he parries away three consecutive thrusts from his opponent. Qwikshot, won't let Calaleus get through his guard either.

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:49 PM

Qwikshot opens up another nick on his opponent and parries the returning blow. Another attack and another small wound opens up on Calaleus, this time on his cheek. Calaleus' uses Qwik's frustration against him. In a moment of opportunity, Calaleus throws the knife at Qwik and it sticks in his stomach.

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:49 PM

Calaleus takes off for the longsword and Qwikshot is too stunned to follow him. Qwik groans as he pulls the knife out of his stomach. Calaleus gets to the longsword picks it up. He looks to have a second wind as Qwikshot charges uncontrolably.

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 02:50 PM

The two exchange parries again. The crowd cheers. Flynn winces. Qwikshot stabs hard at Calaleus' chest. Calaleus attempts to move, but his body isn't as quick as his mind anymore. The rapier goes straight through his chest and sticks out the other side.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Qwikshot has been promoted to Rank 3 and receives 3 prestige points. Flynn happily collects the $34,000 purse and proceeds immediately to the loan shark's office to pay off some debts. Afterwards, he trains the only fighter left in his house how to better defend himself. Qwikshot will be out for 1 week with his knife wound and will be able to fight again in week 7 if he wishes.

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 03:01 PM

Here is our Hall of Fodder. The list grows each week! :D

<TABLE cellSpacing=0 bgColor=#ffffff border=1><CAPTION></CAPTION><THEAD><TR><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>SlaveName</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Rank</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Slayer</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>DeathThroe</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>House Name</TH></TR></THEAD><TBODY><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Calaleus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>3</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Qwikshot</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Skewered through lung</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Split Peon the First</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Little Jeebie Dee</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Impaled and Beheaded</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>MC²</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Raven Hawk</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Got hammered</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Rizarro</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>JAGus "Mad" MAXimus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Didn't See the Crowbar Coming</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Hokius Maximus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Big Bad</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Crushed Head & Chest</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Godzillius Blitz</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Calaleus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Axehead in the head</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Ajtuck</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Godzillius Blitz</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Crushed Windpipe and Suffocation</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The Hunter</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>JAGus "Mad" MAXimus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>New Entrée: Shishka-heart</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Thickthumbs the Violent Tempered</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Rizarro</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Machete Embedded in Skull</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Pain Unlimited</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Myrdrimor</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Calaleus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Lost his Head to an Axe</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Coffee Warlord</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Qwikshot</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Lost his Head to a Machete</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Jeeberus Dee</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>MC²</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Neck/Axe Incompatability Issues</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>HellAntic</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Split Peon the First</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Lost his Head to a Machete</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>King II</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Fattoe the Smashifier</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>New "flat-top" skull adjustment</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Sinister Vibes</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The Chief</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Axe Embedded in Chest</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Kingfc22</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Fattoe the Smashifier</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Brained by Lead Pipe</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Gaius Julius Vincius</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Fattoe the Smashifier</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Severed Artery in Leg</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Flatulon</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Little Jeebie Dee</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Longsword Caught in Neck</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Pain Unlimited</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Blade</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Mucius "The Lefty" Scaevola</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Axehead to heart via collarbone</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Dr. Fantastic</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Gunther GoBoom</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Chainsaw bit him in the chest</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Malice Unchained</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Ca$h Money</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Love Hurts</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodloss to Bloodhaus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Malice Unchained</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Pilot the Cruel</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Froggius</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Stabbed in the Chest w/Crowbar</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Revile the Revolting</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Erik Flamebeard (of the neither her nor there)</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Erik Smash Head</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Blade6119</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The Chief</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>It Was His Destiny</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>DeToxusRoxus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Hokius Maximus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Cut in Twain by Chainsaw</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR></TBODY><TFOOT></TFOOT></TABLE>

Feel free to sign up for Friday's auction block.

KWhit

12-21-2004, 03:05 PM

Great stuff.

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 03:10 PM

Current Season Standings:

<TABLE cellSpacing=0 bgColor=#ffffff border=1><CAPTION></CAPTION><THEAD><TR><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>House Name</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>W</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0> L</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Win %</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Cash</TH></TR></THEAD><TBODY><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Pain Unlimited</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>8</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right> 2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>0.800</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$69,000.00</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Malice Unchained</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>6</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>0.750</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$50,500.00</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>3</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>5</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>0.375</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$10,000.00</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>4</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>8</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>0.333</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$25,500.00</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>4</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>8</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>0.333</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$33,500.00</TD></TR></TBODY><TFOOT></TFOOT></TABLE>

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 03:19 PM

Page 1 updated.

fantastic flying froggies

12-21-2004, 03:31 PM

Pain Unlimited rocks da House!

RealDeal

12-21-2004, 03:44 PM

When is it my turn to fight?

sachmo71

12-21-2004, 04:06 PM

Little man give Fattoe fight. Can see toenails gurgling in stomach. Heh.

JeeberD

12-21-2004, 04:22 PM

Desnudo

12-21-2004, 04:57 PM

Muahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who is next to die at the hands of the youngest Dee brother?

I think you will find that Love conquers all. Love Hurts plans on eliminating the Dee family tree starting with the easiest one first.

Raven Hawk

12-21-2004, 05:01 PM

When is it my turn to fight?
RealDeal,

You need to challenge/accept a challenge from an opponent to get the match scheduled. Check out the first page and find somebody who isn't scheduled and challenge them. I'd recommend not going after the Rank 3 and Rank 4 opponents for your first fight.

Sorry about the confusion.

RealDeal

12-21-2004, 05:25 PM

I challenge everybody. Come on, mother fuckers, you don't have what it takes to withstand the Real Deal.

Vince

12-21-2004, 08:40 PM

Mucius "The Lefty" Scaevola would be happy to end the Real Deal's life prematurely. Alea ayate es!

On a side note, didn't we have quite a rivalry going as wide receivers at some point?

SplitPersonality1

12-21-2004, 11:06 PM

Name: Tony Harding
Weapon of choice: Lead Pipe (of course)
Preffered House: any but Malice Unchained

Open challenge: rank 1 or 2

Raven Hawk

12-22-2004, 10:26 AM

Name: Tony Harding
Weapon of choice: Lead Pipe (of course)
Preffered House: any but Malice Unchained

Open challenge: rank 1 or 2
Lol! I do believe that the Lead Pipe would be appropriate. :)

Travis

12-22-2004, 11:39 AM

Big Bad sits alone, his wound still seeping and festering. Dirt covers his skin and the lice are almost visibly crawling in what little remains of his hair. A grotesque smile is spread across his face as he stares down at the individual twigs that he grasps in each hand.

"BIG BAD SMASH!"

With that, the twig in his left hand soundly thwacks the one in his right, nearly splitting it in two.

"BIG BAD ENTER, BIG BAD LEAVE!"

The twig in his right hand swings at the left, missing pathetically of course, then falls to the ground as Big Bad lets it go. His left hand moves it's twig over the fallen one.

"WARHAMMER SMASH!"

His left hand mashes into the ground, enveloping both twigs, then proceeds to basically squish both twigs into the ground. When he lifts his hands, both twigs are shattered and broken, yet the satisfied smile never waivers.

"Jagus enter, Jagus die"

KWhit

12-22-2004, 11:52 AM

Big Bad sits alone, his wound still seeping and festering. Dirt covers his skin and the lice are almost visibly crawling in what little remains of his hair.
Be still my beating heart. Yowza!

:D

Qwikshot

12-22-2004, 01:18 PM

"Well Flynn, it's getting quite quiet round here.."

"Just be sure to evade, anticipate the movements..."

I think I have a line of people for my blood, Hoopsguy and the Split...out one week to recuperate then time to spend learning how to obliterate...

JeeberD

12-22-2004, 03:31 PM

I think you will find that Love conquers all. Love Hurts plans on eliminating the Dee family tree starting with the easiest one first.

Challenge accepted, fool...

kingfc22

12-22-2004, 06:37 PM

Name: Tony Harding
Weapon of choice: Lead Pipe (of course)
Preffered House: any but Malice Unchained

Open challenge: rank 1 or 2

Name: King III
Weapon of choice: Warhammer

I accept this open challenge.

PilotMan

12-22-2004, 06:52 PM

Hey wasn't there supposed to be a weapons draw today?

Raven Hawk

12-22-2004, 08:20 PM

Hey wasn't there supposed to be a weapons draw today?
Yeah, sorry. I was finishing up my submission for WSUCougar's essay contest. I'll do the weapons draw later tonight.

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 12:20 AM

Parvus Caesar "The Side Salad" (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Bladed Death (Rank 1, House Corax)
Weapons: Longsword, Lead Pipe, Spiked Club, Machete
Analysis - Neither fighter drew their weapon. Parvus Caesar favors the knife and Bladed Death favors the Rapier. You probably won't be able to find a fairer fight. The weapons don't matter, but their form will matter. Both men are training vigorously to get into shape for the match. Oddsmakers say 1:1.

Godzillius Blitz II (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Mikhail Vicious (Rank 1, Bloodhaus)
Weapons: Knife, Claymore, Lead Pipe, Knife
Analysis - Once again neither opponent got lucky in the draw. However, Godzillius can take more hits. It will be interesting to see if either of the fighters go for the claymore, which is the only weapon that has any range in the group. The fight stands currently at 4:3 in favor of Godzillius.

Windstorm 1 (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Gunther GoBoom (Rank 2, Bloodhaus)
Weapons: Longsword, Chains, Spiked Club, Chains
Analysis - The weapon selection evens this fight out a little. Gunther will still hold the advantage wearing his armor into the ring and hanging onto the higher rank. It is, however, imperative that Gunther gets to the longsword before Windstorm 1 does. If Windstorm gets the longsword look for Gunther to try to get to a set of chains. Chains are good at disarming opponents and Gunther will want to get that longsword out of Winstorms hands. Early odds come in at 4:3 in favor of Gunther.

Erik Flamebeard (of the neither here nor there) (Rank 2, Malice Unchained) vs. Froggius (Rank 2, Pain Unlimited)
Weapons: Rapier, Rapier, Machete, Axe
Analysis - Once again, neither man has drawn their weapon. The will be a knock down drag out fight between two decent fighters. Froggius will attempt to use his aggressive style to penetrate Erik's defense and Erik will try to anticipate Froggius' actions and intercept those attacks. Current odds are 1:1.

Big Bad "The Almost Dead" (Rank 2, Malice Unchained) vs. JAGus "The Not Quite Dead" (Rank 3, Pain Unlimited)
Weapons: Warhammer, Chainsaw, Warhammer, Spiked Club
Analysis - You'd think that JAGus would be lucky in getting his chainsaw in his third straight match. However, Big Bad is even luckier today. Big Bad finds two of his warhammers in the ring for the fight . . . and he'll need them. Both men will be coming in with injuries and Big Bad is worse for wear than JAGus. This should be a quick match for the victor. Current odds are 3:2 in favor of JAGus "mAd" MAXimus.

Coffee Warlord

12-23-2004, 12:24 AM

Erik....Slash?

Hey Big Bad! Erik needs you to throw one of your warhammers into his match. Erik must smash, not slash!

You only need one hammer to smash. You have two, Erik has none. Give Erik one.

sterlingice

12-23-2004, 09:54 AM

KWhit

12-23-2004, 11:35 AM

Windstorm 1 (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Gunther GoBoom (Rank 2, Bloodhaus)
Weapons: Longsword, Chains, Spiked Club, Chains
Analysis - The weapon selection evens this fight out a little. Gunther will still hold the advantage wearing his armor into the ring and hanging onto the higher rank. It is, however, imperative that Gunther gets to the longsword before Windstorm 1 does. If Windstorm gets the longsword look for Gunther to try to get to a set of chains. Chains are good at disarming opponents and Gunther will want to get that longsword out of Winstorms hands. Early odds come in at 4:3 in favor of Gunther.

Gunther mad at stupid draw.

Gunther need chainsaw.

Gunther want to stick chainsaw in Winstorm's face.

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 11:55 AM

Looks like we both had bad luck already. I think "fair fight" is RH-speak for "they both suck". Stay tuned to see which bad luck wins out ;)
That's not far from the truth. :)

I'm going to get started here in a minute, but I wanted to warn people that it will take a little longer to post the matches today as I am "live simming" instead of posting something that I simmed last night.

Everybody get ready for the THUNDERDOME!

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 11:57 AM

Here's today's card:

Undercard 4($12,000): Parvus Caesar "The Side Salad" (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Bladed Death (Rank 1, House Corax)
Undercard 3($12,000): Godzillius Blitz II (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Mikhail Vicious (Rank 1, Bloodhaus)
Undercard 2($18,000) : Windstorm 1 (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Gunther GoBoom (Rank 2, Bloodhaus)
Undercard 1($25,000) : Erik Flamebeard (of the neither here nor there) (Rank 2, Malice Unchained) vs. Froggius (Rank 2, Pain Unlimited)
Main Event($35,000): Big Bad "The Almost Dead" (Rank 2, Malice Unchained) vs. JAGus "The Not Quite Dead" (Rank 3, Pain Unlimited)

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 12:17 PM

Parvus Caesar "The Side Salad" (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Bladed Death (Rank 1, House Corax)

Purse: $12,000

Weapons: Longsword, Lead Pipe, Spiked Club, Machete

Parvus Caesar is the first to trot out to the paddocks and he looks to be in pretty good shape. When Bladed Death appears on the stage, he looks to be in just as good shape. This match has the potential of being an epic length battle, since neither man is in much better shape than the other and neither man has any skill in the weapons that will be in the arena. The odds go off at 1:1. The men are led to the arena and they are taken to their corners. The host takes the microphone . . . "BEGIN!" Parvus heads for the lead pipe, Bladed Death heads for the Machete . . .

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 12:21 PM

Parvus is the first to get to his weapon and picks up. He charges Bladed Death, but the bladed one is quick to get his machete up for a block. Parvus continues attacking aggressively, and Bladed Death is using a standard fighting style. Bladed Death's first swing lands short of its mark. Parvus Caesar takes a wide, powerful swing . . .

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 12:24 PM

And catches the tip on Bladed Death's head. Bladed Death grabs his head in pain, but can continue fighting. Bladed Death returns with an overhead machete strike, but Parvus easilyt parries the blow to the side. Parvus' counterstrike is not effective either as Bladed Death turns his strike to the side as well.

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 12:28 PM

Both men adopt normal fighting stances and continue the fight. Parvus strikes low at Bladed Death's knees, but hits his thigh instead with minimal effectiveness. Bladed Death is looking awkward with the machete, often trying to thrust with it instead of using a chopping motion. Blade Death thrusts the machete at Parvus Caesar and Parvus easily blocks. Parvus strikes out again with the lead pipe . . .

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 12:33 PM

And cracks Bladed Death in the skull. Bladed Death goes down to the dirt unconscious.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Parvus Caesar steps over the body of Bladed Death and lines up the death blow. Raising the lead pipe high to the sky, Parvus brings it down hard on Bladed Death's skull. The resounding thud echoes through the stadium and the crowd goes wild. Parvus stands up and bows before exiting the arena.

Parvus Caesar is promoted to Rank 2 and receives 1 prestige point. Torbjorg picks up the $12,000 purse and offers to teach Parvus Caesar one of the fighting styles. Parvus was not injured in the fight, and will be able to fight again at his own leisure.

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 12:34 PM

Next up: Godzillius Blitz II vs. Mikhail Vicious

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 12:41 PM

Godzillius Blitz II (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Mikhail Vicious (Rank 1, Bloodhaus)

Purse: $12,000

Weapons: Knife, Claymore, Lead Pipe, Knife

Coming out of the paddocks, both men look to be in really good form. This match has another opportunity to be an epic battle, but most likely it will be over quickly. As the windows close, the fight will be going off at 1:1. The two men are led down the tunnel to the arena and move to their corners. The host takes the microphone and makes the call . . . "BEGIN!" Godzillius heads for the Lead Pipe and Mikhail heads for the Claymore.

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 12:43 PM

Godzillius is first to reach his weapon. He picks it up and charges Mikhail. Mikhail is having a little trouble handling the huge claymore and Godzillius is able to get an undefended shot in. Godzillius swings hard at the shoulder of Mikhail, but only grazes it as Mikhail twists away.

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 12:47 PM

A little ticked off about getting hit, Mikhail starts charging and lets his momentum be his strength as he swings low at Godzillius. The heavy claymore barely opens a cut on Mikhails leg. Mikhail fell for the bait, Godzillius immediately retaliates with a misdirection shot that fakes low and swings high. But, Mikhail is too swift and he dodges.

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 12:52 PM

Mikhail awkwardly swings the heavy claymore again, but can't seem to find a hole in Godzillius' defense. Godzillius follows up Mikhail's attack with an aggressive swing to the shoulder again. He connects, but once again, he didn't land a clean shot. Mikhail immediately retaliates with a misdirection shot, attempting to foil his opponent. He feints left and swings right . . .

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 12:57 PM

But Godzillius steps into the feint and disrupts Mikhail's attack. Godzillius bring a quick, short overhead strike with the lead pipe. Godzillius drives the lead pipe into Mikhail's skull and Mikhail goes to the ground silently with a blank stare on his face.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Godzillius spends a moment trying to dislodge his lead pipe from his opponents skull, but can't manage to do so. He finally lets go and raises his arms in victory as the crowd cheers him on.

Godzillius Blitz II is promoted to Rank 2 and receives 1 prestige point. Torbjorn picks up his second purse of the day and offers to teach Godzillius on of the four fighting styles. Godzillius received one minor wound, but can fight again at his own leisure.

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 12:58 PM

Next up: Winstorm 1 vs. Gunther GoBoom!

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 01:07 PM

Windstorm 1 (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Gunther GoBoom (Rank 2, Bloodhaus)

Purse: $18,000

Weapons: Longsword, Chains, Spiked Club, Chains

Windstorm 1 is first to hit the paddocks. The crowd reacts in revulsion as Windstorm is unkempt and in very bad form. Gunther comes into the ring in decent form, his shoulder guard sparkling in the midday sun. Windstorm knows that he needs to get to that longsword first if he is going to have any chance at winning. Gunther will try to prevent him from doing that. The odds go off on the fight at 3:2 in favor of Gunther. The men are led to the ring and today's guest announcer, Dan Dierdorf, takes the microphone. "Back when I used to play for the Cardinals, you might say that the NFL was like Thunderdome." The crowd begins to chant something new.

THROW HIM IN! THROW HIM IN!

Dan quickly realizes that he shouldn't be talking about his days as a St. Louis Cardinal. He gets back on track: "BEGIN!" Both men break hastily for the longsword . . .

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 01:10 PM

And it’s a bad break for Gunther as he slips in some of Mikhails blood that wasn't properly cleaned up. Windstorm quickly grabs the longsword, smiles, and charges his opponent. Gunther quickly changes direction and heads for the nasty spiked club. Gunther gets to the club, but can't ready it before Windstorm takes a swing with his longsword . . .

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 01:14 PM

Windstorm swings aggressively, but can't handle the longsword. The sword slips from his hand and he begins bobbling it. Gunther takes the opportunity to swing the spiked club with authority, but only manages to scrape his opponent with one of the spikes. Windstorm regains control of the sword just in time to block the follow up shot from Gunther. Windstorm counters . . .

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 01:17 PM

And strikes Gunther hard with the longsword. The longsword opens a deep gash in Gunther's arm and causes him to drop the spiked club. But, agile as a cat, Gunther catches the falling club in his off hand and brings the club back to a ready position. He swings the club, but the club is blocked by Windstorm's parry.

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 01:22 PM

Windstorm swings high and nicks Gunther's cheek with the sword, he continues and follows up rolling his wrists to swing the sword downwards at Gunther's head. Gunther steps sideways, but the sword strikes him in the shoulder opening a small gash where it hit. Gunther stumbles for a moment, but regains his composure. He swings and scratches Windstorm again with the spikes of the club.

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 01:27 PM

Windstorm takes a more defensive stance and Gunther attempts a misdirection shot. However, Windstorm intercepts the feint with his longsword. Cuts down Gunther's center line. The shot lands and opens a deep gash in Gunther's chest and Gunther drops to one knee, bleeding heavily from his wound. Windstorm moves in to finish off the match . . .

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 01:32 PM

But Gunther isn't quite done. He swings his spiked club heavily, much to Windstorm's surprise. Surprised as he was, Windstorm still manages to get his sword out in time to block the shot, but can't follow through with his earlier intentions. Gunther gets up and swings aggressively. It takes all of Windstorms energy to block the heavy blow from Gunther, but Gunther has left himself exposed.

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 01:37 PM

Windstorm quickly moves in with the longsword and swings hard at Gunther's neck. The longsword hits its mark and cleaves straight through to the other side. Gunthers head topples from his body and hits the dirt. Soon after, Gunther's body topples to the ground as well.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Windstorm 1 flexes his muscles to the crowd and raises his sword in the air. The cheers are deafening as he leaves the stadium. Windstorm 1 is promoted to Rank 2 and receives 2 prestige points. Torbjorg collects his third purse of the day. With that Torbjorg has scored a hattirck. Torbjorg offers to teach Windstorm one of the fighting styles. Windstorm 1's injuries were negligible and he can fight at his leisure.

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 01:38 PM

Next up: Erik Flamebeard (of the neither here nor there) vs. Froggius

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 01:46 PM

Erik Flamebeard (of the neither here nor there) (Rank 2, Malice Unchained) vs. Froggius (Rank 2, Pain Unlimited)

Purse: $25,000

Weapons: Rapier, Rapier, Machete, Axe

Both men are led out onto the stage in chains. Erik Flamebeard is looking to be in good condition and Froggius is in decent condition. Once again neither of the opponents got lucky in the weapons draw. Erik was hoping for the warhammer and Froggius was hoping for the claymore. Regardless as the men enter the stadium, the betting window closes at 1:1. Dan Dierdorf makes another attempt at announcing. "Back when I used to play for the St. Louis Cardinals . . .BEGIN!" Both men decide to head for the machete.

Godzilla Blitz

12-23-2004, 01:48 PM

That lead pipe is a nifty toy!

Did Blade6119 die yet again? Too funny. I was half joking before about him having horrible luck in dynasties, but this is starting to be a truly amazing streak of deadly bad luck. Very impressive.

And to think, I was figuring that Bladed Death and Godzillius Blitz II could fight a level 2 match, but since one of us is dead (again), Godzillius Blitz II will have to search for another opponent.

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 01:49 PM

The arena know is coated in blood from the blunt trauma and decapitations of previous matches. Erik can't get good footing and slips on his way out of the corner. Knowing that Froggius will get to the machete, he immediately heads toward the axe. Froggius charges aggressively, as is his style, and swings the machete . . .

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 01:53 PM

And he hits Erik in the back. From the grimmace on Erik's face, you can tell that the strike hit clean. Erik sucks in some air, picks up the axe and swings it. Froggius is too quick and is able to parry the strike to the side. Froggius returns with another aggressive swing, but Erik blocks it at the last moment.

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 01:58 PM

Both men exchange blows but neither of them can penetrate their opponents defenses. Erik attempts to feint and swings high, then low. Froggius bites. The axe comes screaming in at Froggius' legs. Realizing that he's going to get hit, Froggius dive rolls over the swing in a last ditch effort and avoids the axe. Erik is confuses as to how he didn't hit Froggius, but doesn't spend much time thinking on it as Froggius is now in an open position on the ground. Erik heaves the axe over his head and swings.

Qwikshot

12-23-2004, 01:59 PM

Gunther go-DEAD!

fantastic flying froggies

12-23-2004, 02:01 PM

...and???

Travis

12-23-2004, 02:02 PM

Aw come on, they always cut to commercials at a point like this. Take the bathroom break and grab some snacks, the salty ones, and they'll be right back ;)

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 02:07 PM

He opens a small gash on Froggius' back. Froggius' gets back up and readies his machete. Erik attacks again with the hefty axe, swinging aggressively. Erik swings the axe from right to left. Froggius gets his machete out to block, but the enormous force or the blow sends the machete flying and the axe bites deep into Froggius' side. A puzzled look comes across Froggius' face as he realizes that he is slain.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Froggius hits the ground and his entrails spill out onto the arena floor. The crowd erupts Erik begins stomping his feet one at a time on the ground beside his dead victim. "Erik Smash!"

Erik Flamebeard (of the neither here nor there) is promoted to Rank 3 and receives 2 prestige points. The Rooster collects the purse and teaches Erik how to further anticipate the attacks of his enemies. Erik has a deep wound in his back and will not be able to fight for two weeks.

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 02:10 PM

Next up: Gimpier vs. Gimpy.

Travis

12-23-2004, 02:13 PM

ERIK SLASH!

NOW BIG BAD SMASH!

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 02:17 PM

Big Bad "The Almost Dead" (Rank 2, Malice Unchained) vs. JAGus "The Not Quite Dead" (Rank 3, Pain Unlimited)

Purse: $35,000

Weapons: Warhammer, Chainsaw, Warhammer, Spiked Club

Big Bad is the first out onto the stage. He is sporting some nice bandages, but it is evident that he hasn't had a chance to train for the fight. JAGus, on the other hand, has fewer bandages and looks as though he has been training. The bookies put this fight at 5:2 in favor of JAGus. The two men are led from the paddocks amongst the fireworks and fanfare out to the arena floor. As one of the gorgeous dancers steps by Big Bad, Big Bad tells her "Big Bad no feel so good." Dan Dierdorf takes the microphone and makes the call. "Does ANYONE remember when I played for the St. Louis Cardinals? BEGIN!" Both men head for their weapons. Big Bad goes to the warhammer and JAGus heads for the chainsaw.

fantastic flying froggies

12-23-2004, 02:18 PM

damn, I spoiled the House of Pain Unlimited perfect record so far tonight...

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 02:20 PM

Both men reach their weapons amazingly fast considering their conditions. Big Bad charges and JAGus gives a quick tug to the starter cord. The chainsaw begins to idle. Big Bad is quick to swing the heavy hammer and loses his grip halfway through the swing. The hammer goes flying out into the crowd. It looks like a lucky fan has a souvenir from the match: a warhammer and a broken shoulder. Big Bad heads for the other warhammer and JAGus attacks with the chainsaw.

Travis

12-23-2004, 02:27 PM

Heh, I've done that with a baseball bat before, never a warhammer.

Ah well, that'll learn 'em to keep their eye on the game.

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 02:30 PM

Ohhh . . . That has to hurt! JAGus wastes no time and swings aggressively with the chainsaw at his injured foe. The chainsaw bites into Big Bad's chest and tears open his rib cage. Blood splashes violently from the wound and Big Bad collapses to the ground.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

JAGus doesn't care that the match was anticlimatic. He tries to give the crowd a little more show for their money by revving the chainsaw and slicing it into Big Bad's neck. After completing the cut, he holds Big Bad's head up for all the crowd to see.

JAGus is promoted to Rank 4 and receives 2 prestige points, bringing his total prestige up to 5. Torbjorg collects another huge purse and puts in his pocket. Pain Unlimited had five matches today and won 4 of them . . . Torbjorg will train JAGus in another style of his choosing. As a bonus for reaching 5 prestige points, Torbjorg offers to train JAGus in one of the following areas as well: Weapon Proficiency, Defense, Strength, Initiative. JAGus did not sustain any further wounds and will be able to fight as his leisure, fully healed.

Travis

12-23-2004, 02:34 PM

Okay, screw that, revenge will be had quickly.

New Fighter: Mr. T
Weapon 'o choice: Chains
House: Anything outside of Pain Unlimited

sachmo71

12-23-2004, 02:34 PM

Fattoe would like to train Agressive, when healthy.

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 02:35 PM

New hall of fodder:

<TABLE cellSpacing=0 bgColor=#ffffff border=1><CAPTION></CAPTION><THEAD><TR><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>SlaveName</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Rank</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Slayer</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>DeathThroe</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>House Name</TH></TR></THEAD><TBODY><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Sinister Vibes</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The Chief</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Axe Embedded in Chest</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Coffee Warlord</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Qwikshot</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Lost his Head to a Machete</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Godzillius Blitz</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Calaleus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Axehead in the head</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Split Peon the First</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Little Jeebie Dee</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Impaled and Beheaded</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Kingfc22</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Fattoe the Smashifier</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Brained by Lead Pipe</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Gaius Julius Vincius</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Fattoe the Smashifier</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Severed Artery in Leg</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Gunther GoBoom</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Windstorm 1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Severe case of whiplash</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>King II</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Fattoe the Smashifier</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>New "flat-top" skull adjustment</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Mikail Vicious</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Godzillius Blitz II</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Pipe Laid in his Head</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Revile the Revolting</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Erik Flamebeard (of the neither her nor there)</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Erik Smash Head</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Hokius Maximus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Big Bad</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Crushed Head & Chest</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Ajtuck</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Godzillius Blitz</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Crushed Windpipe and Suffocation</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Calaleus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>3</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Qwikshot</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Skewered through lung</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Jeeberus Dee</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>MC²</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Neck/Axe Incompatability Issues</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Pilot the Cruel</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Froggius</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Stabbed in the Chest w/Crowbar</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bladed Death</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Parvus Caesar</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Nasty Pipe Beating</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Big Bad</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>JAGus "Mad" MAXimus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Now touring as McRib sandwich</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Malice Unchained</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Dr. Fantastic</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Gunther GoBoom</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Chainsaw bit him in the chest</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Malice Unchained</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Ca$h Money</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Love Hurts</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodloss to Bloodhaus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Malice Unchained</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Thickthumbs the Violent Tempered</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Rizarro</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Machete Embedded in Skull</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Pain Unlimited</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Flatulon</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Little Jeebie Dee</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Longsword Caught in Neck</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Pain Unlimited</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Froggius</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Erik Flamebeard (of the neither here nor there)</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Axe/Entrails Combination Platter</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Pain Unlimited</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>MC²</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Raven Hawk</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Got hammered</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The Hunter</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>JAGus "Mad" MAXimus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>New Entrée: Shishka-heart</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Rizarro</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>JAGus "Mad" MAXimus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Didn't See the Crowbar Coming</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>DeToxusRoxus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Hokius Maximus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Cut in Twain by Chainsaw</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Myrdrimor</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Calaleus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Lost his Head to an Axe</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>HellAntic</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Split Peon the First</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Lost his Head to a Machete</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Blade6119</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The Chief</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>It Was His Destiny</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Blade</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Mucius "The Lefty" Scaevola</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Axehead to heart via collarbone</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR></TBODY><TFOOT></TFOOT></TABLE>

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 02:37 PM

<TABLE cellSpacing=0 bgColor=#ffffff border=1><CAPTION>Current Standings</CAPTION><THEAD><TR><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>House Name</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>W</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>L</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Win %</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Cash</TH></TR></THEAD><TBODY><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Pain Unlimited</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>12</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>3</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>0.80</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$136,000</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Malice Unchained</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>7</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>3</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>0.70</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$69,500</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>4</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>8</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>0.33</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$33,500</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>3</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>6</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>0.33</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$9,000</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>4</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>10</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>0.29</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$22,500</TD></TR></TBODY><TFOOT></TFOOT></TABLE>

House Corax is now in dire straights. They have only two Rank 1 fighters and no real money to buy anymore.

Raven Hawk

12-23-2004, 02:46 PM

Page 1 Updated.

Godzilla Blitz

12-23-2004, 02:57 PM

Following the cues of some of the greater fighters of Thunderdome, Godzillius Blitz II would like to train in the normal style.

Who needs a dance partner for next Thursday? All are welcome.

Coffee Warlord

12-23-2004, 03:16 PM

Erik smashed, Erik slashed...now Erik HEALS!

fantastic flying froggies

12-23-2004, 03:38 PM

A new entry:

Slave name: Louis LeBeau
Weapon of choice: I like to fight wiz le longsworde
House of choice: ze house wiz enough money to buy me

fantastic flying froggies

12-23-2004, 03:46 PM

[Louis LeBeau speaks] I will fight ze first fighter available, zis is an open challenge.

And I will kiss ze first available womane, zis is an open invitation. I am ze master of looove.

[/Louis LeBeau speaks]

Godzilla Blitz

12-23-2004, 04:23 PM

I challenge the imposter Raven Hawk!

KWhit

12-23-2004, 05:49 PM

Gunther go-DEAD!

:(

KWhit

12-23-2004, 05:55 PM

Slave name: Bonzo the Monkey of Death
Weapon of choice: Chains

Bonzo shall throw the feces of doom upon you all!

KWhit

12-23-2004, 05:56 PM

Bonzo the Monkey of Death will accept the open challenge of the poof Louis LeBeau (assuming we're not bought by the same house, of course).

Blade6119

12-23-2004, 11:01 PM

Slave Name: No chance of surviving
Weapon of Choice: Rapier
House: Any

JeeberD

12-24-2004, 01:35 AM

Excellent, Little Jeebie Dee will be getting his first of many main events on Tuesday. Hopefully JAGus will survive his next fight, for Little Jeebie would love to slay him after Little Jeebie defeats Love...

JAG

12-24-2004, 07:24 AM

JAGus will train in Normal style again and will take the special defense training. JAGus will also accept the challenge of any fighter who dares to challenge him.

Poli

12-24-2004, 07:46 AM

I challenge the imposter Raven Hawk!
Word.

Raven Hawk

12-24-2004, 04:36 PM

I apologize for the shortness of this message. I just wanted to get the houses set for the new fighters. Here they are:

Tony Harding: Bloodhaus
King III: Malice Unchained
Mr.T: The House of Four Fingers (and one mohawk)
Louis Lebeau: House Corax
Bonzo the Death Monkey: Bloodhaus
No Chance of Surviving: Malice Unchained

I'll post more details on Sunday, but this should be good to get people going on challenging.

JeeberD

12-24-2004, 04:51 PM

JAGus will also accept the challenge of any fighter who dares to challenge him.

Hopefully JAGus will survive his next fight, for Little Jeebie would love to slay him after Little Jeebie defeats Love...

Rar

Blade6119

12-24-2004, 07:23 PM

Anyone want to win...please, come kill me....the Blade Bad Luck continues, so come one come all....

fantastic flying froggies

12-26-2004, 07:40 AM

Bonzo the Monkey of Death will accept the open challenge of the poof Louis LeBeau (assuming we're not bought by the same house, of course).
Since we are not in ze same hous, let us fight to ze deathe!

Raven Hawk

12-27-2004, 07:51 PM

Thunderdome will be delayed a this week. Tuesday matches will be held on Wednesday.

Sorry for the delay, busy week for me.

KWhit

12-27-2004, 08:22 PM

Since we are not in ze same hous, let us fight to ze deathe!
Bonzo the Monkey of Death can't wait to spit on your corpse.

sterlingice

12-27-2004, 09:35 PM

fantastic flying froggies

12-28-2004, 06:57 AM

Parvus Caesar is looking to improve on his normal fighting style.

RH, what else do we do with our money and how does training work?
Err, I don't think you have any money. You're a slave, remember!

Your owner gets all the money, and he is nice enough to offer you some training if you win matches for him...

fantastic flying froggies

12-28-2004, 06:58 AM

Bonzo the Monkey of Death can't wait to spit on your corpse.
AH! Once you are dead, I will use your spit to shine my shoes...

Coffee Warlord

12-28-2004, 09:00 AM

And, in a bout of stupidity, would like to challenge Erik Flamebeard

Oh ho!

Erik says he will happily smash you when he is better. Erik still has a big chunk of his back missing, and needs more of his back before he slaughters you.

Erik says he will fight you next week, if you are still alive.

Qwikshot

12-28-2004, 11:19 AM

Is it true I am injured and cannot challenge till Thursday?

Raven Hawk

12-29-2004, 09:26 AM

Parvus Caesar is looking to improve on his normal fighting style.

RH, what else do we do with our money and how does training work?

And, in a bout of stupidity, would like to challenge Erik Flamebeard!

SI

FFF is correct. You are a slave! You get no money! At least not until you get your tenth win. Rules of Thunderdome obligate your owner to put money into a "trust" for you after each victory. This trust is equal to 10% of the fighter's winnings. If you should reach your tenth victory, your trust is paid out to you and acts as the capital you would need to start your own house.

Also I need to apologize again. Thunderdome will actually be delayed until next week. This week has been crazy for me and I haven't had the time that I want to put into this. I'll try to update page 1 with the new schedule later today. The base effect is that all matches will have been delayed for one week.

JAG

12-29-2004, 11:22 AM

Is it true I am injured and cannot challenge till Thursday?

If you can fight, JAGus will challenge you and, by killing you and dragging your lifeless corpse around Thunderdome, will single-handedly cut The House of Four Fingers' fighting stable in half.

Qwikshot

12-29-2004, 07:41 PM

If you can fight, JAGus will challenge you and, by killing you and dragging your lifeless corpse around Thunderdome, will single-handedly cut The House of Four Fingers' fighting stable in half.Think Hoopsguy's character and Split Personality's character all have dibs first...

Raven Hawk

12-30-2004, 10:06 AM

Is it true I am injured and cannot challenge till Thursday?
Qwikshot,

You wouldn't be able to fight in the Tuesday matches, but you will be able to fight in the Thursday matches, wound free. Since Tuesday is already booked, feel free to accept/challenge for Thursday.

Qwikshot

12-30-2004, 01:32 PM

If you can fight, JAGus will challenge you and, by killing you and dragging your lifeless corpse around Thunderdome, will single-handedly cut The House of Four Fingers' fighting stable in half.
I'll accept your challenge (I guess too late for Thurs), but for Tues, if Hoops or Split doesn't chime in...

sterlingice

12-31-2004, 08:39 AM

I still have no one to fight but am unsure as to who is still free.

SI

JeeberD

01-02-2005, 02:54 PM

Look at the very first post, SI. It lists who is scheduled and who isn't...

Breeze

01-03-2005, 06:28 AM

sorry, I've been out of town. I'd like to train defensive if I still can. And I'm open for challenges.

fantastic flying froggies

01-03-2005, 02:18 PM

Look at the very first post, SI. It lists who is scheduled and who isn't...
Except I don't think Raven Hawk has had the time to update it yet...

Raven Hawk

01-04-2005, 02:04 PM

Okay, I'm starting to work on the updates. Here is the official auction results from 12/24. I'll be updating the first post later today, then I'll do the weapon draw for today. Late tonight, I'll post results from today's matches. It's time to start this thing back up! (although a little later than I thought). :)

<TABLE cellSpacing=0 bgColor=#ffffff border=1><CAPTION></CAPTION><THEAD><TR><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Reserve</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>SlaveName</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Weapons</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Wounds</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Styles</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>House Name</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>WinningBid</TH></TR></THEAD><TBODY><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$12,000.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>King III</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Warhammer</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>23</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>None</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Malice Unchained</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$14,000.00</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$10,000.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bonzo the Death Monkey</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Chains</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>19</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>None</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$12,000.00</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$10,000.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Louis LeBeau</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Longsword</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>22</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>None</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$10,000.00</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$10,000.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>No chance of surviving</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Rapier</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>19</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>None</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Malice Unchained</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$11,000.00</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$10,000.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Tony Harding</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Lead Pipe</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>21</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>None</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$10,000.00</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$9,000.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Mr. T</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Chains</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>19</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>None</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$10,000.00</TD></TR></TBODY><TFOOT></TFOOT></TABLE>

Raven Hawk

01-04-2005, 03:19 PM

Page 1 updated. Weapons selection to follow shortly.

Raven Hawk

01-04-2005, 04:57 PM

Professor Plum (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Big Billy Badass (Rank 1, Malice Unchained)
Weapons: Spear, Spiked Club, Chainsaw, Spear
Analysis - Neither of these Rank 1 fighters were able to get a lucky draw. As is usual for Rank 1 fighters in this situation, the match will be based heavily on how well these two have trained for their match. Oddsmakers have it opening at 1:1.

Hornsmaniac (Rank 1, House Corax) vs. Pilot the Savage (Rank 1, Malice Unchained)
Weapons: Chainsaw, Longsword, Knife, Lead Pipe
Analysis - Hornsmaniac should be feeling very cocky and funny as he was able to draw his lead pipe. Pilot knows that the match will hinge on getting to the lead pipe first. Pilot's axe is missing from the mix. Oddsmakers say 4:3 in favor of Hornsmaniac.

Dorrain (Rank 1, Bloodhaus) vs. Schizophrenic (Rank 1, House Corax)
Weapons: Axe, Axe, Crowbar, Claymore
Analysis - Dorrain did not pull his longsword and Schizo didn't get his spiked club. Being as these are both Rank 1 fighters, that is all that really matters. This should be a nice bloody match. Oddsmakers say 1:1.

The Real Deal (Rank 1, Malice Unchained) vs. Mucius "The Lefty" Scaevola (Rank 2, Bloodhaus)
Weapons: Lead Pipe, Warhammer, Chainsaw, Crowbar
Analysis - The Real Deal lucks out in the match as his lead pipe will be present in the ring. However, he's going up against a higher ranked fighter, so he'll need what help he can get. The race will be on to control the lead pipe. Whoever succeeds will probably win the match. Oddsmakers have it set at an even 1:1 to start, but look for these odds to change when the fighters reach the paddocks.

Love Hurts (Rank 2, Bloodhaus) vs. Little Jeebie Dee (Rank 3, Malice Unchained)
Weapons: Lead Pipe, Crowbar, Spiked Club, Rapier
Analysis - Little Jeebie Dee is a monster and even though neither of these two got their weapons draw, Little Jeebie will be favored. Jeebie has some good initiative and will try to use it to out maneuver his opponent in the ring. Love Hurts will hope that his armor will counter some of Jeebie's tricks. Oddsmakers have this going off at 2:1 in favor of Jeebie, but it is prime for upset.

JeeberD

01-05-2005, 10:18 AM

Love isn't going to be hurting any more once Jeebie gets through with him...

sterlingice

01-05-2005, 10:51 AM

I need a fight :(

SI

Breeze

01-05-2005, 10:57 AM

I need a fight :(

SI

SI, what house are you with. I'll fight you if we're not in the same group.

kingfc22

01-05-2005, 02:01 PM

King III is looking for a victim.

Desnudo

01-05-2005, 05:23 PM

Love isn't going to be hurting any more once Jeebie gets through with him...

You are right, instead I will be sleeping on top of a large pile of money with many beautiful women.

Travis

01-05-2005, 05:35 PM

King III is looking for a victim.

I'll challenge you fool. You won't be ruling nothing when I'm done with you sucker.

I'm gonna finish you off A-Team style.

sterlingice

01-05-2005, 05:37 PM

SI, what house are you with. I'll fight you if we're not in the same group.
I am in the tender and gentle auspices of Pain Unlimited.

SI

Raven Hawk

01-05-2005, 06:05 PM

Professor Plum (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Big Billy Badass (Rank 1, Malice Unchained)

Weapons: Spear, Spiked Club, Chainsaw, Spear

As the two fighters enter the paddocks, it is obvious to all onlookers that Professor Plum has trained harder for the fight. Big Billy looks to be in decent form, but he will be in for a long (or perhaps short) day against the Professor. The oddsmakers adjust the odds to 4:3 in favor of the Professor. Both men exit the paddocks and are let out into the arena. The host takes the microphone and says the magic words . . . "BEGIN!" The Professor heads for a spear and Billy goes for the chainsaw . . .

Raven Hawk

01-05-2005, 06:09 PM

Both men reach their weapons at the same time. Billy gives the chainsaw a tug as the Professor closes the gap, spear in hand. The chainsaw teeth start rotating and Billy moves in for the attack. He swings the chainsaw wide, avoiding the thrust of the spear and lands a hit on the Professors shoulder. The Professor cries out in agony!

Raven Hawk

01-05-2005, 06:13 PM

The Professor recoils, but he won't give up. The Professor attempts a low thrust and Big Billy swings low to block. Bad news for the Professor: The chainsaw cuts the head off of the spear. The Plum has only a stick to defend himself against the nasty biting chainsaw!

Raven Hawk

01-05-2005, 06:15 PM

However, the Professor has learned his lesson and blocks Big Billy's Badass swing at the engine housing instead of at the blade. Unskilled in the chainsaw, Big Billy allows the chainsaw to idle for too long and the chainsaw dies. The Professor swings high with his newly created bo-stick aggressively . . .

Raven Hawk

01-05-2005, 06:19 PM

But he can't connect. Billy is too quick and is able to duck the blow. Billy takes a moment to back off and give the cord another tug. The engine sounds like it wants to catch, but it doesn't! The Professor moves in, swinging low . . . but changes his swing when he realizes that Billy is paying too much attention to the chainsaw cord. The bo-stick heads straight for Billy's unattentive melon . . .

Raven Hawk

01-05-2005, 06:25 PM

SQUISH! Brains and skull fragments explode into the air as the bo-stick lands squarely atop Big Billy's crown. Big Billy falls to the ground, although dead, his arm carries out one last command, pulling on the chainsaw cord, with no pressure on the trigger, the chainsaw gives a burst of life before dieing slowly along with its weilder.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Professor Plum did in the Arena with the spear shaft. He is promoted to Rank 2 and can select a new training style from (aggressive, normal, defensive, misdirection). Torbjorg collects the $12,000 purse and puts another victory under his belt. Professor Plum will need two weeks to recover from his shoulder wound.

Raven Hawk

01-05-2005, 06:33 PM

Hornsmaniac (Rank 1, House Corax) vs. Pilot the Savage (Rank 1, Malice Unchained)

Weapons: Chainsaw, Longsword, Knife, Lead Pipe

Hornsmaniac is still feeling pretty cocky and funny, that's because he spent good time training this week. Pilot is feeling cocky, but not quite so funny. He looks to be in good shape, but Hornsmaniac looks like he is at the top of his game. The oddsmakers shift the odds to reflect the form - 2:1 in favor of Hornsmaniac today. The two men are led to their corners and the host makes the call . . . "BEGIN!" Both men dart for the lead pipe.

Raven Hawk

01-05-2005, 06:38 PM

It is Pilot that gets there first! At last, something for Pilot to be excited about. Pilot gets his Savage on as he swings the pipe at the defenseless Hornsmaniac. But Hornsmaniac is too cocky and too shift as he dives out of the way of the blunt implement. Hornsmaniac runs for the nearest weapon, which happens to be the knife. He makes sure to throw a cocky smile at pretty girl in the front row as he makes his way toward the knife.

hoopsguy

01-05-2005, 06:38 PM

Quikshot, don't forget to leave your schedule open for Thursday (or the next day with openings) so I can dismantle you after I'm done with Pilot.

Raven Hawk

01-05-2005, 06:42 PM

Hornsmaniac picks up the knife and swings it at Pilot all in the same motion, striking Pilot in the stomach and opening a gash in Pilot's belly. Pilot doubles over in pain and can't return the attack. Hornsmaniac blows kisses to the crowd. Pilot uses the opportunity to attack, but Hornsmaniac gets out of the way. And swings his knife back across Pilot's belly . . .

Raven Hawk

01-05-2005, 06:45 PM

. . . but he loses his grip on the knife and it goes skidding across the arena floor. Pilot is dumbfounded with his luck and can't actually bring himself to react. Hornsmaniac takes off for the longsword. Pilot chases, but can't get to Hornsmaniac before Hornsmaniac reaches the longsword. Pilot swings as Hornsmaniac raises the sword in defense . . .

Raven Hawk

01-05-2005, 06:48 PM

The lead pipe lands a glancing blow on Hornsmaniac's arm. Pilot swings again, feinting high, but swinging low. The attack gets through Hornsmaniac's guard, but doesn't land. Hornsmaniac retaliates with the longsword. But his attack is easily blocked by the lead pipe.

Raven Hawk

01-05-2005, 06:51 PM

Hornsmaniac tries to bait Pilot into an overhead attack by leaving it open. Pilot bites, but his swing is much quicker than Hornsmaniac had anticipated and it land on Hornsmaniac's shoulder, although it fails to connect squarely. Hornsmaniac follows with a low strike, but his interupted timing causes him to miss badly.

Raven Hawk

01-05-2005, 06:57 PM

Pilot attacks again, but he is easily parried by the cocky (and funny) Hornsmaniac. Hornsmaniac counters aggressively and breaks Pilot's guard. The resulting strike lands squarely across Pilot's chest. A blank stare comes to the Savage one's eye as he drops the ground.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Hornsmaniac drives the sword through the back of the fallen Pilot before raising it high in the air. He exits the stadium blowing kisses to the crowd.

Hornsmaniac is promoted to Rank 2 and receives 1 prestige point. Raven Hawk picks up the $12,000 purse and heads straight out to pay off his creditors, stopping momentarily to tell Hornsmaniac that he'll train him in a new weapon. Hornsmaniac's wounds are superficial and he'll be able to fight at his leisure.

Raven Hawk

01-05-2005, 07:00 PM

That's all for now. I'm going to try to get to the Next couple of matches later tonight.

Qwikshot

01-05-2005, 07:00 PM

Quikshot, don't forget to leave your schedule open for Thursday (or the next day with openings) so I can dismantle you after I'm done with Pilot.I look forward to the challenge of defeating you.

EDIT: You were Horns?...Can't wait to face him in battle.

JeeberD

01-06-2005, 12:36 AM

That's all for now. I'm going to try to get to the Next couple of matches later tonight.

Doh!

Love must die!!!

Desnudo

01-06-2005, 01:27 AM

Doh!

Love must die!!!

Love conquers all. Sleep well tonight, the governor has granted you a temporary stay of execution.

Breeze

01-06-2005, 07:58 AM

SI - me to.

I need a fight as well.

PilotMan

01-06-2005, 12:50 PM

/me {shakes head in disgust}

Slave Name: Pilot the Cripple
Weapon: Crowbar

Coffee Warlord

01-06-2005, 01:33 PM

Erik wants the doctors to fix him faster!

JeeberD

01-07-2005, 01:16 AM

That's all for now. I'm going to try to get to the Next couple of matches later tonight.

*cough*

SplitPersonality1

01-08-2005, 02:39 PM

Tony Harding challenges King III!

kingfc22

01-08-2005, 03:14 PM

Tony Harding challenges King III!
I have a match with Travis, but I'll be happy to kill you next week.

Travis

01-08-2005, 07:08 PM

I have a match with Travis, but I'll be happy to kill you next week.

Bah, once I'm done with you fool, I'll make everybody pity that Tony Harding and her pathetic pipe.

SplitPersonality1

01-08-2005, 07:18 PM

Tony Harding challenges any level 1 punk that is stupid enough to go up against me.

Blade6119

01-08-2005, 07:22 PM

Tony Harding challenges any level 1 punk that is stupid enough to go up against me.

Thats sounds like a Blade Call out to me!

Airhog

01-09-2005, 12:21 PM

Sign me up!\

Hung Lo
Knife
Any Stable

sachmo71

01-11-2005, 12:40 PM

Kilt.

Breeze

01-11-2005, 01:29 PM

Windstorm challenges "No Chance"

Blade6119

01-11-2005, 04:08 PM

Windstorm challenges "No Chance"

No Chance Accepts!

Raven Hawk

01-11-2005, 06:27 PM

Sorry that I haven't been able to run the fights. I have a new manager. Previous to my new manager coming aboard, I was reporting to the VP in the interim. Needless to say, my new manager walks by my desk more often than the VP did . . . This will become more sporadic, but I still haven't given it up.

JeeberD

01-24-2005, 06:13 PM

Little Jeebie Dee is too strong to die! He will continue to fight as long as his heart beats and there is air in his lungs!!!

sachmo71

01-28-2005, 04:27 PM

CLEAR!

*ZZZZT*

Beep...beep...beep

Desnudo

01-28-2005, 05:35 PM

So much potential.

Raven Hawk

01-28-2005, 06:01 PM

You rang . . .

Raven Hawk

01-28-2005, 06:01 PM

Dorrain (Rank 1, Bloodhaus) vs. Schizophrenic (Rank 1, House Corax)

Weapons: Axe, Axe, Crowbar, Claymore

Dorrain walks out onto the paddocks feeling pretty cocky he looks to be in good shape. Schizophrenic, however, looks to be in awesome shape. He struts, not walks, struts out onto the stage and does a little dance to please the crowd. The oddsmakers shift the fight to favor Schizo slightly. 5-4 in the books. Today's guest host comes out to make a the call: It's Drew Carey, with long hair. What's that all about? "Did I ever tell you about the time . . . Ahh forget it! BEGIN!" Both men head for the crowbar!

Raven Hawk

01-28-2005, 06:04 PM

Dorrain is the first to get their, he picks up the crowbar and tries to chase down the Schizo, who changed direction as soon as he realized he wasn't going to get to the crowbar before Dorrain. Schizo is moving toward an axe with Dorrain in tow. Dorrain stumbles momentarily and allows Schizo the time he needs to pick up the axe. The two men head begin circling . . .

Raven Hawk

01-28-2005, 06:08 PM

Both men assume defensive positions and it is Schizo who is the first to strike. A poor attempt at a sideways cut is an easy dodge for Dorrain. Dorrain counters with a clumsy strike with the crowbar and grazes Schizo's arm. Schizo maintains his defensive position and Dorrain adeptly adjusts his style to accommodate. He swings hard with the hooked end of the crowbar . . .

Raven Hawk

01-28-2005, 06:11 PM

And this time grazes Schizo's thigh with the tip. Schizo tries to get in another sideways swipe. But the agile Dorrain easily evades. However, Schizo gets the advantage attempts striking again. That attempt is a god-awful attempt as he misses Dorrain by a mile. Dorrain counters, but Schizo blocks.

Raven Hawk

01-28-2005, 06:14 PM

Dorrain's crowbar gets hooked on Schizo's axe during the block and Schizo gets a big smile on his face. Schizo gives a tug on his axe pulling Dorrain and the crowbar towards himself, he then twist the axe handle disarming Dorrain and thrusts forward with the blade landing a good size wound on Dorrain's chest. Dorrain runs for the other axe.

Raven Hawk

01-28-2005, 06:19 PM

Schizo takes a heavy swing with the axe and it lands right next to Dorrains hand as Dorrain picks up the axe. That was close! Schizo maintains using his advantage and attacks again. But luck is on Dorrain's side as he's able to evade the heavy swing again. The momentum begins to shift and both men can feel it. The two both take big cuts at their opponent.

Raven Hawk

01-28-2005, 06:25 PM

Shizo's blow lands quickly and with such great force that it cleaves his opponent from shoulder to navel. Dorrain, with the surprised look on his face falls backwards. His body pulls the axe out of Schizo's hand as he hits the ground. Schizo throws both fists up in the air and riles the crowd up:

"TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!"

Schizo trots out of the arena to the delightful cry of the crowd. Raven Hawk picks up the $12,000 purse and offers to teach Schizo a new weapon skill. Schizo, uninjured, may fight at his own disgression.

Poli

01-28-2005, 06:25 PM

Wow. Welcome back, Kotter. :)

Raven Hawk

01-28-2005, 06:25 PM

Sometimes I just need a good prodding. I'll get the last two matches of this fight day done sometime this weekend.

Poli

01-28-2005, 06:26 PM

Woo! Time stamp issue!

sachmo71

01-28-2005, 07:23 PM

Hey! I brought something back to life! Thank god for these paddles I bought on Amazon!

Raven Hawk

01-29-2005, 02:02 PM

The Real Deal (Rank 1, Malice Unchained) vs. Mucius "The Lefty" Scaevola (Rank 2, Bloodhaus)

Weapons: Lead Pipe, Warhammer, Chainsaw, Crowbar

As The Real Deal steps up onto the stage at the paddocks, the crowd applauds. He has apparently been working out for the fight. Mucius "The Lefty" Scaevola, however looks to be in dismal shape. Mucius is hoping that The Real Deal swings continuously at the small piece of shoulder armor that Mucius is wearing. Mucius hopes to grab the lead pipe first and give a beat down to Mucius. Drew Carey steps up to the podium and introduces the two contestants as "Oswald and Lewis," before giving the familiar battle cry, "BEGIN!" Both men head directly for the Lead Pipe.

Raven Hawk

01-29-2005, 02:05 PM

The two men both get to the lead pipe at the same time and they immediately start wrestling with the weapon to see who can gain control! Mucius' small bit of experience wins out as he rips the lead pipe from Real Deal's hands and proceeds to swing at him with it. Mucius swings hard at the defensless Real Deal . . .

Raven Hawk

01-29-2005, 02:13 PM

The hapless Real Deal tries to block with his head and is successful! The lead pipe lands squarely between Real Deal's eyes. The force of the blow splits his skull open and splatters brain matter over the first row of the crowd, most of which did remember to put on their souvenir ponchos. Now they have more souvenir's in the form of brain matter and skull fragments!

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Mucius pulls the lead pipe from its cranial chasm and hands it to a young fan in the crowd. Mucius has obliterated The Real Deal and is promoted to Rank 3. Demetrius Cavish slides over to the payment window and collects the purse. He quickly purchases an arm guard for his new favorite fighter. Mucius is uninjured and can fight again at his own discression.

That is about as quick as these matches can go.

Raven Hawk

01-29-2005, 02:22 PM

Love Hurts (Rank 2, Bloodhaus) vs. Little Jeebie Dee (Rank 3, Malice Unchained)

Weapons: Lead Pipe, Crowbar, Spiked Club, Rapier

Love Hurts probably realized that he bit off a little more than he could chew when he challenged Little Jeebie Dee to a deathmatch. To make up for the lack of judgement, Love Hurts trained extra hard for the match and has come to the paddocks in phenomenal shape. Jeebie, the ever diligent, trained hard as well. Although he does not look to be in as good of shape as Love Hurts, he is still in remarkable shape. The oddsmakers still like Little Jeebie in this one and they the odds 7-4 in favor of Jeebie. Drew Carey takes to the podium and tells a "Mimi" joke before he let's out the call: "BEGIN!" Lover Hurts wants the crowbar and Jeebie wants the rapier.

Raven Hawk

01-29-2005, 02:24 PM

Both men reach their weapons without any problem and head to the center of the ring. They begin circling for what seems like minutes, then Love Hurts takes a tentative swing at Jeebie from a defensive position. The strike catches only air as it stops a foot short of Jeebie's chest. Love Hurts recovers as Jeebie counters . . .

Raven Hawk

01-29-2005, 02:28 PM

Jeebie thrusts aggressively with his rapier, but over commits himself to the strike. Finding himself in excellent position, Love Hurts strikes quickly. But he can't land a shot as Jeebie lithely recovers and turns the crowbar away with his rapier.

Raven Hawk

01-29-2005, 02:31 PM

Love Hurts is surprised that he did not land the blow, that he doesn't pay attention to Jeebie's follow up strike. Jeebie swipes horizontally across Love Hurts' belly and steps back into a defensive stance. The sharp rapier landed, but it takes a second or two for the wound to react and start bleeding. Love Hurts counters with a defensive blow to keep Jeebie at bay . . .

Raven Hawk

01-29-2005, 02:36 PM

Jeebie parries the blow at Love's hand, opening a small wound on the knuckle, but just enough to get Love to drop his weapon. Jeebie quickly moves in to finish off his foe. He slashes downward across Love's chest. The shouder armor picks up some of the impact, but the blade slides off of it and continues to open a wound in Love's chest.

Raven Hawk

01-29-2005, 02:47 PM

Love takes off toward the Lead Pipe and Jeebie walks after him as though he were playing the part of a serial killer in a bad slasher film. Love picks up the lead pipe and charges Jeebie. Love swings wildly and Jeebie parries the lead pipe away from his head. As he holds the lead pipe in check, Jeebie slides the rapier forward and stabs at Love's head. The rapier pierces through Love's nose and up into his brain.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Love drops the Lead Pipe and clutches the wound on his face, moreso, his involuntary reaction allows him to do that. Hunched over on his knees, Love is not quite dead yet, but he wouldn't want to live on with the wound that he suffered. Jeebie humanely drops the rapier blade hard upon the back of Love's neck, severing head from body.

Little Jeebie D has won the match and is promoted to Rank 4. The Rooster, collects the large purse and trains Little Jeebie some more tactics on how to anticipate his opponents attacks. Jeebie is uninjured and can fight again at his own discression.

After the match, The Rooster pats Little Jeebie on the back and says, "The boss would like to see you for some private time," as he pointed up to the box where his co-owner Ms. Jameson was sitting.

Raven Hawk

01-29-2005, 02:49 PM

I don't have time to update the tables right now, but I will do so on Monday. At least, we can now move on to week 8, which has not yet been filled (unless I missed some challenge acceptances). I'll go ahead and hold an auction before week 8 begins as well, since we haven't had one in awhile.

Raven Hawk

01-31-2005, 10:30 AM

Incidentally Little Jeebie D has reached a Rank 4 with a prestige rating of 5, which means that he can gain additional training in one of the following areas:

Strength (Damage)
Speed (Defense)
Wits (Initiative)
Weapon Profieciency
Style Proficiency (Normal, Defensive, Aggressive, Misdirection)

Raven Hawk

01-31-2005, 10:38 AM

<TABLE cellSpacing=0 bgColor=#ffffff border=1><CAPTION>Current Data for Houses

</CAPTION><THEAD><TR><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>HouseID</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>House Name</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Victories</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Defeats</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Cash</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Prestige</TH></TR></THEAD><TBODY><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>5</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>6</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$21,000.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>6</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>4</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>8</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$23,500.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>4</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>3</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>4</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>11</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$13,000.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>6</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>4</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Pain Unlimited</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>13</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>3</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$147,000.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>16</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>5</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Malice Unchained</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>7</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>5</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>$73,000.00</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>10</TD></TR></TBODY><TFOOT></TFOOT></TABLE>

Raven Hawk

01-31-2005, 10:39 AM

Hall of Fallen Warriors

<TABLE cellSpacing=0 bgColor=#ffffff border=1><CAPTION></CAPTION><THEAD><TR><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>SlaveName</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Rank</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>Slayer</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>DeathThroe</TH><TH borderColor=#000000 bgColor=#c0c0c0>House Name</TH></TR></THEAD><TBODY><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Gaius Julius Vincius</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Fattoe the Smashifier</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Severed Artery in Leg</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Coffee Warlord</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Qwikshot</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Lost his Head to a Machete</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Split Peon the First</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Little Jeebie Dee</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Impaled and Beheaded</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Sinister Vibes</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The Chief</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Axe Embedded in Chest</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Godzillius Blitz</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Calaleus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Axehead in the head</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Kingfc22</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Fattoe the Smashifier</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Brained by Lead Pipe</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Gunther GoBoom</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Windstorm 1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Severe case of whiplash</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Love Hurts</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Little Jeebie Dee</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Rapier Nose Pick</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Dorrain</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Schizophrenic</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Cleft from Shoulder to Navel</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Revile the Revolting</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Erik Flamebeard (of the neither her nor there)</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Erik Smash Head</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Mikail Vicious</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Godzillius Blitz II</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Pipe Laid in his Head</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>King II</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Fattoe the Smashifier</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>New "flat-top" skull adjustment</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodhaus</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Calaleus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>3</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Qwikshot</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Skewered through lung</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Jeeberus Dee</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>MC²</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Neck/Axe Incompatability Issues</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Hokius Maximus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Big Bad</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Crushed Head & Chest</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Pilot the Cruel</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Froggius</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Stabbed in the Chest w/Crowbar</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bladed Death</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Parvus Caesar</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Nasty Pipe Beating</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Ajtuck</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Godzillius Blitz</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Crushed Windpipe and Suffocation</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>House Corax</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Big Billy Badass</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Professor Plum</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Brain. On a stick!</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Malice Unchained</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Ca$h Money</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Love Hurts</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Bloodloss to Bloodhaus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Malice Unchained</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Dr. Fantastic</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Gunther GoBoom</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Chainsaw bit him in the chest</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Malice Unchained</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The Real Deal</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Mucius "The Lefty Scaevola"</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Lead Pipe Canyon Head</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Malice Unchained</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Big Bad</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>JAGus "Mad" MAXimus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Now touring as McRib sandwich</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Malice Unchained</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Pilot the Savage</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Hornsmaniac</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Not cocky, nor funny.</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Malice Unchained</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Froggius</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Erik Flamebeard (of the neither here nor there)</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Axe/Entrails Combination Platter</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Pain Unlimited</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Flatulon</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Little Jeebie Dee</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Longsword Caught in Neck</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Pain Unlimited</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Thickthumbs the Violent Tempered</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Rizarro</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Machete Embedded in Skull</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Pain Unlimited</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The Hunter</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>JAGus "Mad" MAXimus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>New Entrée: Shishka-heart</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>MC²</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Raven Hawk</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Got hammered</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Rizarro</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>2</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>JAGus "Mad" MAXimus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Didn't See the Crowbar Coming</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Myrdrimor</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Calaleus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Lost his Head to an Axe</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>HellAntic</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Split Peon the First</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Lost his Head to a Machete</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Blade</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Mucius "The Lefty" Scaevola</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Axehead to heart via collarbone</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Blade6119</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The Chief</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>It Was His Destiny</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR><TR vAlign=top><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>DeToxusRoxus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0 align=right>1</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Hokius Maximus</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>Cut in Twain by Chainsaw</TD><TD borderColor=#c0c0c0>The House of Four Fingers</TD></TR></TBODY><TFOOT></TFOOT></TABLE>