JeeberD
06-14-2003, 05:39 PM
Someone from from FOFC has got to work for Stuff Magazine. That's the only reason that I can come up with that the magazine would have a full page layout on our beloved Colossal Squid. Well, ok, maybe not a full page layout. He has to share the page with Rene Zellweger, but that's beyond the point.
On the page there is a big picture of CS laying on an examining table with scientists examining him (we've already seen this picture, I believe). The text under the picture says:
"If you don't know what a colossal squid looks like, imagine a very, very tiny squid as seen through a superhigh-powered magnifying glass. The squid above was found in the Ross Sea. If you don't know what the Ross Sea looks like, imagine a regular sea and...you're done. The squid is covered with 25 teethlike hooks and has eyes the size of dinner plates. And this is only a half-grown colossal squid. Had it lived, it would have grown monstrously large (see chart, asshole). Scientists rarely recover full-grown colossal squids, because they thought you were going to do it. Remember that communication is the key"
The caption next to the picture of CS says:
" 'Jesus, they're not even wearing gloves!' exclaimed Colossal Squid's worried mother in the hospital waiting room. Relax, mom. Your son's already dead."
You know, this is pretty crappy writing. Fritz or WSUCoug could do much, much better...
If you happen to see July's issue of Stuff, turn to page 32 to see Colossal Squid in all his glory...
On the page there is a big picture of CS laying on an examining table with scientists examining him (we've already seen this picture, I believe). The text under the picture says:
"If you don't know what a colossal squid looks like, imagine a very, very tiny squid as seen through a superhigh-powered magnifying glass. The squid above was found in the Ross Sea. If you don't know what the Ross Sea looks like, imagine a regular sea and...you're done. The squid is covered with 25 teethlike hooks and has eyes the size of dinner plates. And this is only a half-grown colossal squid. Had it lived, it would have grown monstrously large (see chart, asshole). Scientists rarely recover full-grown colossal squids, because they thought you were going to do it. Remember that communication is the key"
The caption next to the picture of CS says:
" 'Jesus, they're not even wearing gloves!' exclaimed Colossal Squid's worried mother in the hospital waiting room. Relax, mom. Your son's already dead."
You know, this is pretty crappy writing. Fritz or WSUCoug could do much, much better...
If you happen to see July's issue of Stuff, turn to page 32 to see Colossal Squid in all his glory...