POT --> KETTLE -->

[korme]

BLACK.


What are some of your favorite anecdotes, sayings, cliches, etc?

[Chubby]

You shot who in the what now?

[Fonzie]

Ayyyyyyyyyyy!

[Noop]

Shorty please draft me!!!

[Qwikshot]

What what WHAT!

[Poli]

Does a fat puppy hate fast cars?

[Blade6119]

Im sorry, all i heard was blah blah blah blah blah im a dirty tramp

I love that one...never gets old!

[Noble_Platypus]

Never rub another mans rhubarb

[VPI97]

To be said in Ace Ventura-speak: Alrighty then!!




Kill me.

[Vince]

It's all good.

[Marmel]

My two favorites:

1) Hey Schmidty, Why don't you go fuck yourself!

2) Please leave me the hell alone Neuqua!

[Fonzie]

All hail Brak!

[bbor]

Word!

[Noop]

Shorty--> Noop--> Great Choice


:)

noop

[Chubby]

hey brad

[MrBug708]

Well Fuck me with a spoon

[Blade6119]

illinois blows

[SirFozzie]

One of my friends got severely drunk one day.. and of course, the rest of us were kind and understanding about it when he showed up the next day around 2:30 PM. When asked how he was feeling.. he stated...

"Oh, I'm alright, except for Cthulu, King Kong and Godzilla doing a conga line in my head"

It's become standdard for one of use to use "Oh, I'm alright.. except for".. when we are in a bad mood.. huriting or whatever..

[Fonzie]

I bent my wookie.

[Chubby]

illinois blows

or my favorite variation...

Dean Houston blows.

[Peregrine]

There's a Simpsons gag where Bart and Lisa are going to play rock-paper-scissors to decide something, and Lisa is thinking "Poor predictable Bart, always chooses rock." and then they cut to Bart thinking "Good old rock, nothing beats that!"

So it's become a favorite thing of mine to say Good old X..nothing beats that! especially when a friend is doing something foolish.

[Glengoyne]

Well you've got that going for ya. ;)

[JeeberD]

Monkeys!!!

[k0ruptr]

You say this just as your walking past someone and right before they get out of earshot.


"So I was doing 112 MPH through a school zone right..."

[NoMyths]

Well, at least we still got pussy.

[Fritz]

Well, at least we still got NoMyths.

[Ben E Lou]

I don't have a dog in that fight.

[SnowMan]

DOH!

[Maple Leafs]

Useful in sales meetings: "Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining."
Useful on first dates: "Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out."
Never useful, and in extremely poor taste: "You smell like an anchovie's cunt."

[JonInMiddleGA]

"That's like trying to teach a pig to read -- it does you no good and annoys the hell out of the pig"

and

"There goes another poster child for retroactive abortion"

[Senator]

Your what hurts?

[Butter]

So, how's that working out for you then?

[timmae]

Do what you gotta do to get the girl.

And my all time personal favorite.....

I wanted to have all my ducks in a row so that if we did get into a posture we could pretty much slam dunk this thing and put it to bed.

[scooper]

My father passed away five years ago. We only knew he was sick for about six weeks. The doctor informed him of his cancer and it's late stage and then left the room. At that point, my dad looked at us and said:

"Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?"

Through the tears, we burst into laughter. I've been using that one ever since.

[rkmsuf]

Now matter where you go, there you are...

[The Afoci]

Even a blind squirrel gets to bust a nut sometimes.

[KevinNU7]

ZING!

[Poli]

When you take the bus, you get there.

[wig]

XXX called, he wants his xxx back.

[wig]

Is this a draft, or are we just naming phrases?

[Ben E Lou]

My anus was burning.

[Poli]

That's what you get when you mix electronics with stupidity.

[Airhog]

This will keep the men from homosexuality....for about 3 days!

Theres a what in your what?

Gerbiltastic

[Poli]

said about any bad situation you may be in:

This party sucks.

[Poli]

This reminds me of two of my favorite "No Fun Rules" for my division onboard the USS Carr some 4 or 5 years ago. Our division officer didn't like us relaxing, and would "ban" anything that we didn't for enjoyment. Such as: Cards, movies, television, video games, board games, etc.

Five or six of us came up with the "No Fun Rules", which started off somewhat seriously. We were listing everything he said we couldn't have. I've got them somewhere, maybe I'll post them. Anyway, two of my all time favorites:

No eating red meat.

No being a vegetarian.

[MJ4H]

The jerk store called and they're running out of you.

[SplitPersonality1]

It's colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra.

[3ric]

A modern classic from Seinfeld:
"The sea was angry that day, my friend"

[Sun Tzu]

:in comic book guy voice: "Worst xxx ever"

When I'm in a conversation that calls for the mentioning of a electronic device or something a bit zany I'll say this for example. "And that's why God invented Toasters" or something along those lines.

[The Afoci]

From Flag Football Sunday...

Down, Set, HOLLA HOLLA.

Don't mix drugs with football.

[corbes]

There you go.

[wig]

homo

[Chubby]

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

FESTIVUS!

[primelord]

"After yesterday's fiasco I will never do that with a lima bean again."

I over heard that statement as I was walking into work a few months ago. For the next several days it was driving me crazy trying to figure out what the hell he could have been doing with a lima bean that led to a fiasco. :)

[Noop]

what did he do? With the Lima bean?

[Schmidty]

You can't teach a marmel to shit in a thimble, you can't get cantalope juice from squeezing a prostate, and the Carp have no chance in 2013.

[wig]

noop?

[Tigercat]

Whataever ____s your ____.

(different derivitives of whatever floats your boat)

[robbgmaier]

So close, and yet, so what.

[rkmsuf]

What's the deal with ovaltine? The jar is round, the lid is round. It should be called roundtine...

[Chubby]

What's the deal with ovaltine? The jar is round, the lid is round. It should be called roundtine...

Be... sure... to... drink.... your ovaltine. Ovaltine? A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch...

[Suicane75]

If it weren't for my horse I wouldn't have spent that year in College.

[Franklinnoble]

Well, spank my ass and call me "Charlie."

[tucker342]

That boy run so fast he make my dick hard!

[korme]

*starts galloping*

[primelord]

If it weren't for my horse I wouldn't have spent that year in College.

That went through my head when I heard the lima bean comment. Just one those ststaments that makes your brain screech to a halt. :)

[Franklinnoble]

Why don't you go outside and play hide-and-go-f*ck-yourself?

[Chubby]

In Soviet Union, review watches you!

[Craptacular]

It's craptacular!

[Chubby]

JOE!!!!

[Noop]

noop?
Is that wignasty or wignify? And why the hell you keep saying my name? Do you enjoy typing it? noop or maybe you read it as poon...;)

[timmae]

a semi jack-knifed a manure spreader on the santa ana... whew!!

You efforts don't go unnoticed or unnappreciated (best when utilized by middle management)

We can't have that happen now can we??? (said by an auto mechanic who just backed over a coworker at my wife's work when told that he just backed over Bob)

[Raven Hawk]

It's like putting lipstick on a bulldog . . . (used in referrence to putting a new interface on a crappy legacy system)

Even a blind pig hits the trough every now and again . . . (a derivative or precursor of TheAfoci's)

What's this we sh*t? You got a mouse in your pocket? (used to inform somebody that you have no intention of helping them out when they have a plan that includes we)

Bad planning on your part does NOT create an emergency on my part. (a nice way of saying go f*** yourself: if you wanted this done today, you should have brought it to me yesterday)

[timmae]

What's this we sh*t? You got a mouse in your pocket? (used to inform somebody that you have no intention of helping them out when they have a plan that includes we)

Also used appropriately while an individual is explaining, complaining or detailing the sport he watched on TV last night and includes himself as part of teh team. i.e. We really beat those Panthers in the Suberbowl, eh?

[Toddzilla]

In consulting we used to say our bosses would shit on our heads and expect us to say Thanks for the hat.

[Toddzilla]

How about a nice cup of S.T.F.U.

[timmae]

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son....

[robbgmaier]

Excuse me, sir, just one more thing.

[rkmsuf]

"I can't I have class that night..."

"Why don't you call me sometime when you have no class."