I don't get any sex

[Draft Dodger]

Well, in my dreams anyways.

Last night was a typical dream:

First, Graham (my 2 year old) snuck out of the house at 5am, went to the neighbors house, and opened up their mail - a delivery of fireworks. After he lit all the fireworks, I went to get Graham and we went over to another neighbors house - an old friend of mine who I had a minor crush on in high school (she's not a real neighbor - she lives in Indiana). Anyways, since it's like 5 am, she's in bed, so I go into the bedroom to say "hi" while Graham starts playing with her kids (she has none in RL). Meanwhile, her husband gets up to watch the kids, so I take off my clothes and climb into bed to visit with Kim (she's also naked). So, we lay there making small talk, talking about various topics (like her nipples, for example - I blame...or thank...Fritz for this). Of course, if I'm writing this dream, you all know where it ends up...but my subconcious denies me - eventually, she gets up and gets dressed, and I gather up Graham and go home.

Later, her and I attend a circus together (not sure who to blame for this), and we start making out. But, before things get any further, I get chosen to be on stage for something, and I never do get back to the audience to see her. And, the next thing you know, I wake up.

I dream a lot. I dream about women a lot. I dream about naked women a lot, usually naked women I want to have sex with. And yet, I rarely get to seal the deal in my dreams (or, I am and I'm not remembering).

And, frankly, I don't think this is fair.

[VPI97]

alrighty then

[Suicane75]

Im not sure but i think this may be a common thing, my friends and I have actually discussed this and while the activity happens alot in our dreams, consumation rarely does. Theres got to be a study on this somewhere.

[sabotai]

If I were a psychologist, I would say that this is an indication of a self-esteem problem. In your mind, you do not think you are good enough for these women, and thus in your dreams, you deny yourself them. This could possibly be a biproduct of past rejections. Even though you are married and have a child, you feel as though you don't deserve it. You, in your dreams, try to see if you are worth it by finding yourself in these sistuations. Your mind challenges itself to succeed in "give me" situations. All you have to do is act on your urge, and your goal is acheived. Your inability to reach the goal is a clear indication that you have yet to really get over past relationship failures. You need to realize that you are not who you once were, and that you most definately do deserve your wife and your child. You can not let yourself be trapped in your past.

But I'm not, so I'll just laugh at you. HA HA! :D

[Fritz]

I put the fan in fantasy

[Fritz]

dola, were there any midgets at the circus? No disrespect to the little people in the fofc community, but midgets make me happy.

[Tigercat]

I dream a lot. I dream about women a lot. I dream about naked women a lot, usually naked women I want to have sex with. And yet, I rarely get to seal the deal in my dreams (or, I am and I'm not remembering).

And, frankly, I don't think this is fair.

Like many others, I too have this problem with women and sex(and the lack thereof) in my dreams.

I always just figured, that sexual desire for most of us is usually obvious and on the surface of our thoughts. You don't need to express obvious desires in your dreams. Now perhaps if you saw this woman more often and tried to push such thoughts completely out your mind... Then your dream self might get some.

[Fritz]

dola dola

you need some of my PATENTED (well, pantent pending. the patent was on the way until skydog banned sjshaw) dreamtime VIAGRA (except I can't call it that).

[Tigercat]

dola dola

you need some of my PATENTED (well, pantent pending. the patent was on the way until skydog banned sjshaw) dreamtime VIAGRA (except I can't call it that).

Double Dola DENIED worse than heterosexual sex in DD's dream!

[Danny]

Since there is no physical stimulation I imagine the mind gets more stimulation from other things. Once you finally get to having sex in a dream it's rather boring and anti-climatic since there is no physical stimulation.

What we need is a crotch massager for when we are asleep. I guarentee you'll dream you are having sex much more often.

[bbor]

In these dreams i usually end up having sex.....except i usually screw the gal in a weird spot.....like her thigh or bottom of her foot or some stupid crap like that.

[Fritz]

What we need is a crotch massager for when we are asleep. I guarentee you'll dream you are having sex much more often.

how do you back up this guarentee?

[BlingBlingKilla]

I aint seen pussy in so long Id throw stones at it

[Suicane75]

Heh

[stevew]

Hrm.....not getting laid is probably better than waking up and having to clean up.

[GabeRivers]

I'm no pyschologist, but I did read an article discussing this subject several months ago. Don't fret. It seems the answer to why dream sex is typically not fully consumated is rather basic. You're subconsciously trying to avoid ejaculation, so your dream is cutting you off. Nothing sinister about that.

[Suicane75]

I'm no pyschologist, but I did read an article discussing this subject several months ago. Don't fret. It seems the answer to why dream sex is typically not fully consumated is rather basic. You're subconsciously trying to avoid ejaculation, so your dream is cutting you off. Nothing sinister about that.

I am never, in any form of consciousness, trying to avoid ejaculation.

[Draft Dodger]

ditto

[GabeRivers]

That's why it's called subconscious, as opposed to a form of "consciousness".

[Draft Dodger]

well, my subconscious sux

[DanGarion]

I dream a lot. I dream about women a lot. I dream about naked women a lot, usually naked women I want to have sex with. And yet, I rarely get to seal the deal in my dreams (or, I am and I'm not remembering).

And, frankly, I don't think this is fair.


Funny I always have this problem too... but in real life...

[pennywisesb]

Funny I always have this problem too... but in real life...

:D

[Fidatelo]

In these dreams i usually end up having sex.....except i usually screw the gal in a weird spot.....
Like the back of a Volkswagon?

[Fritz]

Like the back of a Volkswagon?

Like in a bucket of chitlins

[Marmel]

I put the fan in fantasy


That is fine, but let it be known, I put the ant in fantasy.

[Draft Dodger]

it continues...

last night, not only did I not get any...but my ex-girlfriend slept with someone else just to torment me. After that, I toured Buckingham Palace with the Backstreet Boys.

it's pretty clear: my subconscious hates me.

[wig]

Man, I always seal the deal in my dreams.

My subconscious wants to get it whenever it can.

:\

[Ksyrup]

I have no response to that.


OK, if you think those are twisted dreams, I can go one further. I rarely ever dream of having sex, but when I do, it's with my wife.

What kind of perverted freak am I?!

[TroyF]

it continues...

last night, not only did I not get any...but my ex-girlfriend slept with someone else just to torment me. After that, I toured Buckingham Palace with the Backstreet Boys.

it's pretty clear: my subconscious hates me.


Ummm. . . Wow.

Time for therapy?

Just one more thing: You ever have sex with a Backstreet Boy in your dreams, pleas keep it to yourself. This is bad enough.

[Fritz]

That is fine, but let it be known, I put the ant in fantasy.

I thought you put the Mar in Mel

[CamEdwards]

I have no response to that.


OK, if you think those are twisted dreams, I can go one further. I rarely ever dream of having sex, but when I do, it's with my wife.

What kind of perverted freak am I?!

You're not a perverted freak. I often dream about doinking your wife, and I'm perfectly normal.

By the way, I have lived without my wife and kids for three months now, with only two trips home during that time. Don't even try and talk to me about not getting any.

I'm the freakin' king of not getting any.

[Fritz]

You're not a perverted freak. I often dream about doinking your wife, and I'm perfectly normal.

By the way, I have lived without my wife and kids for three months now, with only two trips home during that time. Don't even try and talk to me about not getting any.

I'm the freakin' king of not getting any.


Cam - investigate Good Guys.

[CamEdwards]

Cam - investigate Good Guys.

Funny, one of the guys I work with went there a couple of weeks ago after seeing Velvet Revolver in D.C.

I want to know when the heck we're going to Richmond! My family arrives here on the 20th, so time's running out if we want to do it soon.

[CamEdwards]

dola

my coworker said the dancers there were tatooed to the point of skankiness, but I don't know if that's the norm.

[Fritz]

I have not been there or the place across the street in a few years, but I recall them being quite fine, and very pantless.

[QuikSand]

That is fine, but let it be known, I put the ant in fantasy.

I thought that was The Afoci.

You, in the other hand, put the "antsy" in fantasy.

I got nothing.

[CamEdwards]

who's the sick soda fetishist that puts Fanta in fantasy?

[Ksyrup]

You're not a perverted freak. I often dream about doinking your wife, and I'm perfectly normal.

By the way, I have lived without my wife and kids for three months now, with only two trips home during that time. Don't even try and talk to me about not getting any.

I'm the freakin' king of not getting any.
Bah, between the wife being majorly pregnant for the past few months (pregnancy didn't do for her what it does for some other women), and now in the immediate "recovery time," I might as well have been out of town for the past 6 months.

[Glengoyne]

Bah, between the wife being majorly pregnant for the past few months (pregnancy didn't do for her what it does for some other women), and now in the immediate "recovery time," I might as well have been out of town for the past 6 months.
My wife was in the "some other women" camp, so I just popped in here to laugh at you guys.

[GrantDawg]

Bah, between the wife being majorly pregnant for the past few months (pregnancy didn't do for her what it does for some other women), and now in the immediate "recovery time," I might as well have been out of town for the past 6 months.That's sad. Best time of my life has been the 17 months my wife was pregnant.

[Draft Dodger]

Bah, between the wife being majorly pregnant for the past few months (pregnancy didn't do for her what it does for some other women), and now in the immediate "recovery time," I might as well have been out of town for the past 6 months.

that's where we're at now. life is cruel, sometimes. the cruelest joke is the breasts - they get bigger almost immediately, but they become so sore that they are generally "hands off". cruel.

[GrantDawg]

that's where we're at now. life is cruel, sometimes. the cruelest joke is the breasts - they get bigger almost immediately, but they become so sore that they are generally "hands off". cruel.
Really? Again not to brag, but why could, umm.... "find extreme pleasure" while pregnant with just a little attention there and no other simulation. You are making me nostalgic. *sigh*

[CamEdwards]

Grant's gonna turn into revrew if this thread keeps going.

[GrantDawg]

Grant's gonna turn into revrew if this thread keeps going.
We took care of that after my son. :(

[CamEdwards]

you could always auction off the chance to be a one time stand in to members of the board, and then reap the rewards when nature takes its course.


or not. I really have no idea how to respond to what you said without being tasteless or entirely too personal.

We are talking about vasectomy and not a castration, right?

[Ksyrup]

We're mulling over the V word right now. Not that we're in danger of getting pregnant at this point, but soon...one day, far into the future...it might at least be possible.

I know someone who had a bad experience with it, got an infection. I don't know too much more, nor do I want to know. But suffice to say he wasn't on his feet much for 3 weeks, and when he was, he walked like a 90 year old man who had just been kicked in the crotch by a horse.

[rkmsuf]

We're mulling over the V word right now. Not that we're in danger of getting pregnant at this point, but soon...one day, far into the future...it might at least be possible.

I know someone who had a bad experience with it, got an infection. I don't know too much more, nor do I want to know. But suffice to say he wasn't on his feet much for 3 weeks, and when he was, he walked like a 90 year old man who had just been kicked in the crotch by a horse.

He was butchered then

[korme]

this thread is great to wake up to

[GrantDawg]

you could always auction off the chance to be a one time stand in to members of the board, and then reap the rewards when nature takes its course.


or not. I really have no idea how to respond to what you said without being tasteless or entirely too personal.

We are talking about vasectomy and not a castration, right?
Tubal ligation, so your evil plan is out. :)

[cuervo72]

I'm no pyschologist, but I did read an article discussing this subject several months ago. Don't fret. It seems the answer to why dream sex is typically not fully consumated is rather basic. You're subconsciously trying to avoid ejaculation, so your dream is cutting you off. Nothing sinister about that.

Usually, I think I'm subconsciously trying to not pee in my bed, as when I wake up that's really REALLY what I need to do....

[cuervo72]

By the way, I have lived without my wife and kids for three months now, with only two trips home during that time. Don't even try and talk to me about not getting any.

I'm the freakin' king of not getting any.

Please...I'm not even going to argue this. And I've *been* living with my wife and kids the whole time.