Vasectomies

[CraigSca]

These things are all the rage. Anyone else have one of these done? I'm getting mine next Tuesday.

I didn't need my vas deferens anyway.

[rkmsuf]

My advice would be to hold still.

[JeeberD]

That word makes my nuts hurt.

I think we've had a thread or two here about the procedure. Do a search and I'm sure you'll come up with some interesting reading...

[bbor]

I lost my penis.

It just shrivled up and jumped into my stomach when i opened this thread:(

[spleen1015]

Good luck.

[rkmsuf]

Good luck.

that isn't exactly reassuring that luck with play a factor in his balls falling out.

[MizzouRah]

I'll pass.


Todd

[CraigSca]

C'mon guys - I was hoping to get a 2 for 1 deal going :D

[spleen1015]

Don't both of the boys get chopped?

[rkmsuf]

It's not that bad outside of the tugging sensation when they sow you up. Oh and the novocaine shot into the balls.

[CraigSca]

Yeah, that's the one thing I'm really concerned about - the novocaine shot. I mean, is there a worse place to take a shot?

I haen't had a bad dental appointment in a long that's required novocaine (geez, my last filling was 20 years ago). But, I remember the novocaine shot in the gum was excruciating. I can only imagine what a 50 foot long needle in the gonads must feel like. Rest assured you will all know next Tuesday! Unless I back out and take the first flight to Vegas...

[Glengoyne]

I've known a few guys that have gotten one, and in all cases they were walking bow-legged and hunched over for a day or two.

Have fun though. IIRC a vasectomy helped at least on FOFCer get lucky on a more regular basis.

[rkmsuf]

You are so self conscious while the young female assistants are helping the doctor you don't even notice.

[Franklinnoble]

Serious question... because I'm an idiot... but, if they snip the vas deferens, umm, where does all the baby batter go? And, um, what comes out when you, you know?

[sabotai]

I was wondering the same thing Franklin.

[rkmsuf]

Serious question... because I'm an idiot... but, if they snip the vas deferens, umm, where does all the baby batter go? And, um, what comes out when you, you know?

nothing, your nuts just swell to enormous size for a moment and then it's time for a smoke.

[spleen1015]

Serious question... because I'm an idiot... but, if they snip the vas deferens, umm, where does all the baby batter go? And, um, what comes out when you, you know?

The batter stays put.

The same stuff comes out, but no swimmers.

[bbor]

Batter still comes out....just not the baby part.

[CraigSca]

Apparently the sperm just go back into the body. This happens all the time with cells, so it's nothing new.

The semen is regular semen, but now 100% sperm-free :)

[CraigSca]

You are so self conscious while the young female assistants are helping the doctor you don't even notice.

Yeah...i was wondering about that. Also...would I have to do any "prep" work? The doc said "no", however...though I think I'll tidy up the area anyway :D

[CraigSca]

Batter comes from your prostate and other doo-dads - only the sperm come from the jewels.

[MizzouRah]

Serious question... because I'm an idiot... but, if they snip the vas deferens, umm, where does all the baby batter go? And, um, what comes out when you, you know?

"baby batter"???

I just barfed that bologna sandwich.


Todd

[rkmsuf]

Yeah...i was wondering about that. Also...would I have to do any "prep" work? The doc said "no", however...though I think I'll tidy up the area anyway :D

Oh no, the doctor will take great pleasure in shaving you.

[CraigSca]

Yeah, I wouldn't want to irritate him by denying him that pleasure :)

[spleen1015]

Oh no, the doctor will take great pleasure in shaving you.

Watch for in-grown hair.

[rkmsuf]

Watch for in-grown hair.

You are literally in the hands of professionals...not a problem.

[oliegirl]

Haha...I may have to go through childbirth, but I will never have to worry about someone coming at my genetalia with a needle wanting to snip something!!!! It's good to be a woman :)

[MizzouRah]

Oh no, the doctor will take great pleasure in shaving you.

I thought all "men" shaved there on a normal basis anyway. Women love that. :)


Todd

[rkmsuf]

I thought all "men" shaved there on a normal basis anyway. Women love that. :)


Todd

If you are up for a challenge, try shaving your balls while you are drunk.

[bbor]

Haha...I may have to go through childbirth, but I will never have to worry about someone coming at my genetalia with a needle wanting to snip something!!!! It's good to be a woman :)

You may.....it all depends on what Radii is into :D

[MizzouRah]

If you are up for a challenge, try shaving your balls while you are drunk.

I'll try that sometime. Maybe this weekend. :)


Todd

[Franklinnoble]

Haha...I may have to go through childbirth, but I will never have to worry about someone coming at my genetalia with a needle wanting to snip something!!!! It's good to be a woman :)

Hah. Ever heard of an episiotomy?

[oliegirl]

Hah. Ever heard of an episiotomy?

Yep, had one with my son...19 stiches...but I was still numb from the epidural and the dr. put topical numbing cream on to make sure I didn't feel anything. Still beats getting a needle in the balls though :)

[JeeberD]

Hah. Ever heard of an episiotomy?

*Shudders*

My dad is an OBGYN and used to tell my mom at the dinner table about his day at work. I especially loved the stories about how there were times when the baby was coming so fast that they didn't have time to grab the scalpel or scissors or whatever they use for the episiotomy, so he would just have to grip and rip.

Reason #38,875 that's it's great to be a man... :)

[Eaglesfan27]

*Shudders*

My dad is an OBGYN and used to tell my mom at the dinner table about his day at work. I especially loved the stories about how there were times when the baby was coming so fast that they didn't have time to grab the scalpel or scissors or whatever they use for the episiotomy, so he would just have to grip and rip.

Reason #38,875 that's it's great to be a man... :)
Ugh... brings back some bad memories from my OB/GYN rotation. Glad my wife never saw that stuff, convincing her to have a little Eaglesfan would be even harder than it already is.

[Franklinnoble]

Jeebs, don't ever do that again. Seriously. That's just wrong.

[JeeberD]

I've got tons of great stories, Franky. You sure you don't want to hear any more? ;)

[SackAttack]

...so he would just have to grip and rip.

Just remember: drive for show, putt for dough.

[rkmsuf]

SackAttack in the vasectomy thread.

[Dave66]

DO NOT let the physician performing the surgery talk you into just taking a valuim.....it does not take the edge off and you will smell burning flesh and feel pulling and tugging. DO let them give you an injection of Versed. You won't remember or feel a thing. I went the Versed way and don't regret it a bit

[rkmsuf]

Burning flesh? How big are dem nuts?

[Franklinnoble]

SackAttack in the vasectomy thread.


Brilliant. :D

[VPI97]

For three years, I've been begging my wife to let me get a vasectomy.

I want the needle in the scrotum.

[Franklinnoble]

For three years, I've been begging my wife to let me get a vasectomy.

I want the needle in the scrotum.

Can somebody recommend a good mental health clinic in the greater Atlanta area?

[VPI97]

Can somebody recommend a good mental health clinic in the greater Atlanta area?I'm already shaved, so I'm ahead of the game. The only problem is that in Georgia, married men are required to have spousal consent before having a vasectomy. The wife won't sign up for it yet.

[GrantDawg]

I'm already shaved, so I'm ahead of the game.

TMI! TMI! TMI! TMI! Don't EVER reveal crap like that again.

[SackAttack]

Brilliant. :D

Wouldn't be proper widdout, right?

[rkmsuf]

Cut me Mick.

http://vision.york.ac.uk/articles/151/media/images/rocky.jpeg

[SegRat]

I would have never gussed this thread would be so damn funny.

[Ksyrup]

The only problem is that in Georgia, married men are required to have spousal consent before having a vasectomy.
Really?! I've never heard of such a thing.

So let me get this straight - women not only have the absolute right to decide whether to keep a baby, but whether to make one as well? What about the man's privacy right? Or his privates' rights?

[rkmsuf]

Really?! I've never heard of such a thing.

So let me get this straight - women not only have the absolute right to decide whether to keep a baby, but whether to make one as well? What about the man's privacy right? Or his privates' rights?

That's absolutely true.

[rkmsuf]

At least you don't need consent for a good shave.

[VPI97]

Really?! I've never heard of such a thing.

So let me get this straight - women not only have the absolute right to decide whether to keep a baby, but whether to make one as well? What about the man's privacy right? Or his privates' rights?Crazy, ain't it?

[Subby]

Good luck mastering your domain during the mandatory recovery period.

*i'm OUT!!!!*

[Radii]

This is the worst thread ever, despite some of the entertaining nicknames suggested in the first few posts after Franklin's question.

[EagleFan]

Just do what my friend did. He had the doctor right him a prescription for blow jobs to cover the required ejaculations before coming into the office for the follow-up checkup.

I wonder if the local pharmacy would also honor that? ;)


But on the other side of the spectrum. Another friend had one and has horror stories that make your stomach turn. Between the haunting smell of burning flesh to the tugging feeling to what happened before all of that (he wasn't completely numb yet when the doctor began, there must have been a problem with the first attempt at numbing him).

He still doesn't know if the doctor was just kidding when he mumbled an "oops" during the procedure. He thinks that may have been a very poor attempt at humor but he was not in the mood for it after how the procedure began.

[CraigSca]

Ummm....thank you?

[CraigSca]

6 MORE DAYS!