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View Full Version : Move over Najah Davenport we have a new winner

Dr. Sak
11-09-2005, 04:22 PM
The Digital Collegian - Published independently by students at Penn State NEWS
[ Monday, Nov. 7, 2005 ]

News in brief

Female defecates in police department

A 20-year-old Penn State student was cited after an incident at 3 a.m. Saturday in the lobby of the State College Police Department, 243 S. Allen St.

A Penn State University Police auxiliary officer found the semi-conscious, partially dressed woman after she had defecated on the floor and rolled in it, police said.

The woman told police she thought the building was her home, and she was taken to Mount Nittany Medical Center to be treated for an alcohol overdose, police said.

Janitors had to be called to clean and sanitize the area, and the doors were left open to air out the building, police said.

Police said the building's doors are always left unlocked, but the public bathrooms on the first floor are locked at night.

The woman was given citations for a minor's law violation, public drunkenness, disorderly conduct and criminal mischief.
<end of story>

Not only did she crap on the floor, but she ROLLED in it. I have never gotten that drunk that I have lost control of my bowels. This is just too funny. :eek:
Ksyrup
11-09-2005, 04:26 PM
Not quite as good as Najeh, though, since his was willful, not alcohol-induced. Still, I think it's a shame that her name was withheld from the story.
sovereignstar
11-09-2005, 04:26 PM
She should be featured in the next Playboy Big 10 issue.
vtbub
11-09-2005, 04:27 PM
Who'd you piss off now?
Ramzavail
11-09-2005, 04:34 PM
hah thats great.
WSUCougar
11-09-2005, 04:36 PM
Janitors had to be called to clean and sanitize the area...
...because God knows I'M not cleaning up that shit!
st.cronin
11-09-2005, 05:21 PM
I bet she transfers.
Joe
11-09-2005, 05:50 PM
you guys act like it's some strange phenomenon. it actually can happen quite easily.
Solecismic
11-09-2005, 05:54 PM
Which reminds me of a teaser I heard on the news this evening.

What is the worst possible job a person could have?

Apparently, there are people who consider themselves experts in toilet training. And with the instant gratification don't-fuck-with-my-leisure-time approach to parenting these days, there are plenty of parents willing to fork over the bucks to bring in one of these weirdos to teach your kid to use the toilet.

As the parent of a two-year-old, I can not imagine a worse career choice.
Desnudo
11-09-2005, 06:05 PM
you guys act like it's some strange phenomenon. it actually can happen quite easily.

Mistaking a police station for your home, and then mistaking the floor for a toilet, and then mistaking shit for your pillow?
SackAttack
11-09-2005, 06:20 PM
As the parent of a two-year-old, I can not imagine a worse career choice.

Two years old?

Good Lord, has time passed that quickly?
Joe
11-09-2005, 07:42 PM
Mistaking a police station for your home, and then mistaking the floor for a toilet, and then mistaking shit for your pillow?

Exactly. I can't tell you how many times I've seen it happen.
Vegas Vic
11-09-2005, 08:07 PM
What is the worst possible job a person could have?



On one of Letterman's old Top 10 lists, it was "floor swabber in a peep show booth."
Swaggs
11-09-2005, 08:13 PM
On one of Letterman's old Top 10 lists, it was "floor swabber in a peep show booth."

Norm MacDonald said it was "Assistant Crack Whore" on Weekend Update a few years ago. :)
colt45
11-09-2005, 08:43 PM
Come on guys, poop is fun! At home OR in jail! Surely you remember college . . . mmmm.
Lathum
11-10-2005, 03:55 AM
Which reminds me of a teaser I heard on the news this evening.

What is the worst possible job a person could have?

Apparently, there are people who consider themselves experts in toilet training. And with the instant gratification don't-fuck-with-my-leisure-time approach to parenting these days, there are plenty of parents willing to fork over the bucks to bring in one of these weirdos to teach your kid to use the toilet.

As the parent of a two-year-old, I can not imagine a worse career choice.
my cousin actually tried this with his daughter. It was like potty training boot camp and it fucked the poor girl up so badly she was so afraid to have an accident that she would and then cry about it and feel ashamed.
Ksyrup
11-10-2005, 06:53 AM
Mistaking a police station for your home, and then mistaking the floor for a toilet, and then mistaking shit for your pillow?
In all fairness, she mistook the shit for her blanket, not a pillow. Much more common mistake.