Is it Possible to Fudge a bank Statement?

[JimmyWint]

I want to make sure I don't get busted for making a certain purchase...Anyone have any ideas about how to get an item removed, or to change it? No It has nothing to do with the purchase of Porn...Just thought I would add that before all of the smart remarks start flowing in :-)

[st.cronin]

Why would you buy porn when there's so much free stuff on the net?

[Hawglaw]

No It has nothing to do with the purchase of Porn...

That means it's porn.

[MikeVic]

If it's not porn, then it's something illegal.... bad Jimmy! ;) In seriousness, I don't know.

[stevew]

It's better if you pay cash for hookers, instead of by check or credit card.

[gottimd]

Don't worry about buying porn, nowadays it just says something like "Entertainment" or some generic company name on the itemized statements.

[digamma]

request online statements.

[kcchief19]

I think Daivd has it setup so that charges for purchasing his game going to Matrix LLC, which could be just about anything. It won't say what the purchase is for or say football anywhere on it. So go ahead and order Maximum Football with a clear conscious.

Maximum Football -- Customizable bank statements, baby!

[QuikSand]

This thread has huge potential.

[Desnudo]

So this is a how do I defraud my wife scenario? You will get busted sooner or later. Own up to the foot fetish now, she'll go easier on you.

[Lathum]

I'm dying to know what the purchase was.

[Swaggs]

This has potential, but I bet it was just a gift or something for his wife/girlfriend.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Ok I don't get this. Why would you care if your wife saw what you purchased? Further, why would your wife care?

[Eaglesfan27]

Ok I don't get this. Why would you care if your wife saw what you purchased? Further, why would your wife care?

Exactly. Unless it is a gift for her, just man up and tell her what you ordered.

[Draft Dodger]

so, you bought the kirby too?

[wade moore]

Exactly. Unless it is a gift for her, just man up and tell her what you ordered.

And if it's a gift for her, learn to have some sort of seperate account. i had an ING account that discreetly pulled out money over an extended period of time for the engagement ring.

[jbmagic]

Penis enlargement item? :) lol

[Pumpy Tudors]

This can easily be done with new money-laundering technology!!!

[stevew]

I'm guessing he bought something for like 150 bucks and told his wife it was only 60, something to that effect.

[FrogMan]

I'm guessing he bought something for like 150 bucks and told his wife it was only 60, something to that effect.

LOL! if so, it's like my 9yo son telling me all is well in class, that no, he's not been disruptive in class, that he's doing very well, until he realizes that every friday, his teacher writes a note to us reporting about class progress and letting parents know of bad behaviour... :D

FM

[Radii]

LOL! if so, it's like my 9yo son telling me all is well in class, that no, he's not been disruptive in class, that he's doing very well, until he realizes that every friday, his teacher writes a note to us reporting about class progress and letting parents know of bad behaviour... :D

FM

I thought Oliegirl wrote this for a second.



I'm sure a lot of couples hide stuff, but its a bad practice to get into.

[Samdari]

Ok I don't get this. Why would you care if your wife saw what you purchased? Further, why would your wife care?

Wow, that's naiive.

News Flash, sometimes husbands do things they don't want their wives to know about.

The smart ones use cash.

[FrogMan]

I thought Oliegirl wrote this for a second.


hehe, reminds you of your kiddo, huh? ;)

FM

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Wow, that's naiive.

News Flash, sometimes husbands do things they don't want their wives to know about.

The smart ones use cash.

You're absolutely right. Husbands do many things they don't want their wives to know about.

But it's even more naive to think we don't know, or will never find out. :)

[Pumpy Tudors]

I'm glad I told my wife that I bought this stuff:

http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/7051/supercyril3lc.jpg

[stevew]

did pumpy just post a picture?

[MikeVic]

I'm glad I told my wife that I bought this stuff:

http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/7051/supercyril3lc.jpg

Is that Super Cyril?

[Pumpy Tudors]

did pumpy just post a picture?
Yes, but it's old, so it doesn't count.

Is that Super Cyril?
That's Super Cyril. He's coming to your house tonight. Have pancakes ready.

[JimmyWint]

I signed up for something online. It was an impulse decision at 2am after a visit to the local watering hole...ARGH!

[SackAttack]

That means it's porn.

[Pumpy Tudors]

I signed up for something online. It was an impulse decision at 2am after a visit to the local watering hole...ARGH!
And it was porn. Yes, we get it. We're just trying to help you out with your porn purchase, man!

[FrogMan]

I'm glad I told my wife that I bought this stuff:

http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/7051/supercyril3lc.jpg

wow, Super Cyril has a much more cozier phone booth than that Superman dude, with a bench and all, niiiice...

:D

FM

[gottimd]

I signed up for something online. It was an impulse decision at 2am after a visit to the local watering hole...ARGH!

You signed up for a subscription of Porn. Are they delivering to your house? You better find a place to hide it before the wife finds out. Might I suggest my house? I have plenty of space.

[Franklinnoble]

Fess up, dude. Unless this is a gift for her or something, you're making a big mistake here.

[JimmyWint]

I should have just cooked a pizza and passed out like I normally do. It was not exactly porn though.

[MikeVic]

I should have just cooked a pizza and passed out like I normally do. It was not exactly porn though.

You signed up for a castration????

[oliegirl]

I should have just cooked a pizza and passed out like I normally do. It was not exactly porn though.


I'm guessing some sort of online dating service or something like that? AdultFriendFinder or something similar?

[gottimd]

I should have just cooked a pizza and passed out like I normally do. It was not exactly porn though.

You ordered some sick fetish porn, admit it. Like men dressed as werewolves with mentally handicapped pregnant midgets gonzo stuff probably.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

I should have just cooked a pizza and passed out like I normally do. It was not exactly porn though.
That's like saying you're kinda pregnant. It's either porn or it's not. So what exactly was it then?

[st.cronin]

"It was not exactly porn."

Lobster.com?

[MikeVic]

I'm guessing some sort of online dating service or something like that? AdultFriendFinder or something similar?

Ouch! That one would suck more than porn I think.

[JimmyWint]

I'm guessing some sort of online dating service or something like that? AdultFriendFinder or something similar?

Ollie Girl is pretty close...

[MikeVic]

Ollie Girl is pretty close...

You ordered a Russian bride didn't you. Now's the time to see if your wife is into threesomes.

[TroyF]

I'm guessing some sort of online dating service or something like that? AdultFriendFinder or something similar?

If you're right, that's worse than porn. He's gonna get his ass kicked.

[gottimd]

Ollie Girl is pretty close...

Just cowboy up and tell your wife that due to all of the MySpace arrests and those dateline shows, you wanted to make sure you were hitting on and possibly having sex with people of legal age. Then explain to her how embarrassed would she be if you showed up on those dateline "Child Predator" shows, and you are all golden.

[albionmoonlight]

I was already to make some smartass comment about the porn.

But then I saw a Pumpy Pic.

And I was too happy to be a smartass.

[stevew]

She won't go for the 3 way. Give it up.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Second the fess up comments. If you alter your bank statement, and she finds out, it would be so much worse for you.

[st.cronin]

If you're right, that's worse than porn. He's gonna get his ass kicked.

Yeah, you need to leave the country. That's your only chance.

[SackAttack]

I should have just cooked a pizza and passed out like I normally do. It was not exactly porn though.

The upshot is, that's still an option once your wife finds out!

[oliegirl]

Ollie Girl is pretty close...


Just call me Sherlock Holmes ;)

Seriously, just tell her the truth...if you lie and then get caught, you are in trouble for both the stupid thing and the lie.

I've had this same conversation with my 8 year old. Do men never learn????


PS - it's OLIEGIRL, not Ollie Girl...

[MikeVic]

PS - it's OLIEGIRL, not Ollie Girl...

What do you have against NBA Great Kevin Ollie? :(

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

I've had this same conversation with my 8 year old. Do men never learn????

No. At least Arlie didn't.

[oliegirl]

What do you have against NBA Great Kevin Ollie? :(


Well, for starters I can't stand basketball. Also, it's our cat's name, she's named after the Disney show Rolie Polie Olie.

No. At least Arlie didn't.

God help me!

[Samdari]

You're absolutely right. Husbands do many things they don't want their wives to know about.

But it's even more naive to think we don't know, or will never find out. :)

Have I mentioned that I am glad you have no idea how to contact the wife ;).

But, if there's no paper trail, there's no need to discuss what you both know. We can go on in blissful ignorance thinking we are successfully hiding it. Wives can monitor that we are using an appropriate amount of discretion in our sordid activities (cause really, they only care that the neighbors and their mother find out). Its beautiful, it works for everybody. But using the check card? Not bright.

[duckman]

Oh, like you two women have never did something deceitful to your husbands before. ;)

[John Galt]

Yeah, you need to leave the country. That's your only chance.

Agreed. It really is the only option.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Have I mentioned that I am glad you have no idea how to contact the wife ;).

But, if there's no paper trail, there's no need to discuss what you both know. We can go on in blissful ignorance thinking we are successfully hiding it. Wives can monitor that we are using an appropriate amount of discretion in our sordid activities (cause really, they only care that the neighbors and their mother find out). Its beautiful, it works for everybody. But using the check card? Not bright.

Oh cmon, I'm not so bad. I can be very charming when I need to be. Your wife would love me. :)

[Maple Leafs]

Serious advice: when your wife sees it (assuming the description is vague enough), and asks what it is, just wink and say "oh you'll find out soon enough". Then immediately go out and buy her a gift (with cash) that costs the same as the item. And surprise her with it within 24 hours.

[oliegirl]

Oh, like you two women have never did something deceitful to your husbands before. ;)


Nothing that would harm or jeapordize my marriage...absolutely not.

[Coffee Warlord]

I'm dying to know details now.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Oh, like you two women have never did something deceitful to your husbands before. ;)

Not really. Arlie knows what my kinks are, and I don't feel like I need to hide them from him. So long as I keep them away from my son, he's completely supportive. Same thing for him.

Now, if we're talking about buying the purse I've been coveting for a while, and pretending that it's something I've had forever when he comments on it....now that's something else. ;)

[JimmyWint]

Serious advice: when your wife sees it (assuming the description is vague enough), and asks what it is, just wink and say "oh you'll find out soon enough". Then immediately go out and buy her a gift (with cash) that costs the same as the item. And surprise her with it within 24 hours.

That sounds like a pretty good idea. I am just worried that she will do a google search on the company...then I am Toast.

Sorry about the Spelling OlieGirl!

[oliegirl]

Not really. Arlie knows what my kinks are, and I don't feel like I need to hide them from him. So long as I keep them away from my son, he's completely supportive. Same thing for him.

Now, if we're talking about buying the purse I've been coveting for a while, and pretending that it's something I've had forever when he comments on it....now that's something else. ;)


Great minds think alike!!! You and I would be SO dangerous together!!!! You need to come to Atlanta so we can go shopping :)

oh - which purse is it????

[Swaggs]

Serious advice: when your wife sees it (assuming the description is vague enough), and asks what it is, just wink and say "oh you'll find out soon enough". Then immediately go out and buy her a gift (with cash) that costs the same as the item. And surprise her with it within 24 hours.

BRILLIANT!

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

That sounds like a pretty good idea. I am just worried that she will do a google search on the company...then I am Toast.

Sorry about the Spelling OlieGirl!

Not that I want to contribute to your deception - but often times companies like that have legal business names that are different from the names they operate under. The legal name would be what shows up on your statement.

[st.cronin]

Serious advice: when your wife sees it (assuming the description is vague enough), and asks what it is, just wink and say "oh you'll find out soon enough". Then immediately go out and buy her a gift (with cash) that costs the same as the item. And surprise her with it within 24 hours.

This will almost definitely work.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Great minds think alike!!! You and I would be SO dangerous together!!!! You need to come to Atlanta so we can go shopping :)

oh - which purse is it????

Heh. Arlie and Radii would either have to bail us out of jail, or rent a hotel room to store all of our shopping bags.

It's a Marc Jacobs little number for a paltry $800 or so. He'd skin me alive if I spent that much money on a purse.

[gottimd]

Serious advice: when your wife sees it (assuming the description is vague enough), and asks what it is, just wink and say "oh you'll find out soon enough". Then immediately go out and buy her a gift (with cash) that costs the same as the item. And surprise her with it within 24 hours.

Like more porn?

Seriously though, why would it matter if it was the same cost if you are using cash? I guess by same, you mean in the ballpark of?

This trick in any case would not work on my wife. She would continously guess until I revealed what the gift was without leaving my side. She is very persistent when it comes to spoiling gifts.

[FrogMan]

Well, for starters I can't stand basketball. Also, it's our cat's name, she's named after the Disney show Rolie Polie Olie.


Way up high
in the Rolie Polie Sky
is a little round planet
of a really swell guy...


Damn, I watch too much of that show... :D

FM

[SackAttack]

You know, idly, how long did it take FOFC to ferret out the truth here? And we don't know you like your wife (presumably) does.

This could be hilarious popcorn theatre.

[oliegirl]

Way up high
in the Rolie Polie Sky
is a little round planet
of a really swell guy...


Damn, I watch too much of that show... :D

FM


I miss that show...Anthony outgrew it a few years ago, now it's all SpongeBob, Fairly Oddparents, Jimmy Neutron and Danny Phantom...

[Eaglesfan27]

And if it's a gift for her, learn to have some sort of seperate account. i had an ING account that discreetly pulled out money over an extended period of time for the engagement ring.

Yep. I have an account that the wife never accesses or even knows that it exists that is just for her gifts.

[FrogMan]

I miss that show...Anthony outgrew it a few years ago, now it's all SpongeBob, Fairly Oddparents, Jimmy Neutron and Danny Phantom...

with a 9yo and a 2 1/2yo in the house, we get an odd mix of the two styles :)

Funny thing is that Andrew (older sibling) doesn't really seem to mind the Rolie Polie time we get right before leaving for school/work/daycare, so it's all good in the house :) Reason I watch, or hear it so much is that it's also on right after dinner time...

FM

[KevinNU7]

Soooo WHAT WAS IT!

[Pumpy Tudors]

yeah see if i ever post a picture on this internet message board again

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Yep. I have an account that the wife never accesses or even knows that it exists that is just for her gifts.

Ditto. Well sort of. He knows the accounts exist, just doesn't know how to access them. It's so easy to set accounts up these days we both have our own.

[Lathum]

Is it possible to tell your wife you made the purchase for a friend who doesn't have a credit card and that friend gave you the cash?

[FrogMan]

Is it possible to tell your wife you made the purchase for a friend who doesn't have a credit card and that friend gave you the cash?

once you start these kind of games, you better not get mixed up in your lies or else you're in even bigger trouble...

FM

[FrogMan]

dola, and I'm not saying this because that's my way of dealing with stuff like that. I'm more of the honest kind, that way it's easier to remember what the story is :)

FM

[Maple Leafs]

Seriously though, why would it matter if it was the same cost if you are using cash? I guess by same, you mean in the ballpark of?
Right, just the ballpark. If your statement says $200, a teddy bear holding a heart will not get the job done.

[Maple Leafs]

That sounds like a pretty good idea. I am just worried that she will do a google search on the company...then I am Toast.
This is why timing is crucial. Don't give her time to doubt you and start poking around.

By the way, a nice side effect is that she's actually feel guilty for doubting you. Feel free to play that card a little -- "Why, honey, what did you think it would be?"

[sabotai]

Here's an idea. Claim you have no idea what it is, and suggest that maybe someone got ahold of your credit card number. Wait a few hours, then tell her that you called the credit card company and said the purchase came from some other state and that your credit card number was either stolen or someone used a credit card number generator and happened to generate your number.

Then go through the process of canceling your cards and getting new ones.

[Suburban Rhythm]

She won't go for the 3 way. Give it up.

He'd have better luck this way...

http://www.helpwinthisbet.com/404/

[FrogMan]

Right, just the ballpark. If your statement says $200, a teddy bear holding a heart will not get the job done.

and if he thinks it will do, i.e. she's not of the brightest kind, then why go to the trouble, she won't ever figure out what's on the bank statement anyway... :D

FM

[Pumpy Tudors]

Some of those bank statements can be deceiving. My wife has a Ph.D and still hasn't figured out that I have seven Russian brides, two former thoroughbred racehorses with equine STDs, a Portuguese child whom I picked up on the black market, and 5% of the Kansas City Royals. I hope with all my heart that she doesn't find out about those purchases.

[Klinglerware]

You could also try getting the account frozen by going deeply into debt and ignoring subsequent creditor actions. Contributions to known terrorist groups could work too--she'll be so annoyed that your alleged terrorist connections got the account frozen, she'll ignore your porn addiction.

[st.cronin]

Some of those bank statements can be deceiving. My wife has a Ph.D and still hasn't figured out that I have seven Russian brides, two former thoroughbred racehorses with equine STDs, a Portuguese child whom I picked up on the black market, and 5% of the Kansas City Royals. I hope with all my heart that she doesn't find out about those purchases.

Is the Portugese kid available at all? Cause I had a good night at the blackjack tables last night.

[Pumpy Tudors]

Is the Portugese kid available at all? Cause I had a good night at the blackjack tables last night.
Sure, I'd be glad to send her over as soon as she's done cutting the grass.

With her jagged little TEETH!

[Axxon]

Some of those bank statements can be deceiving. My wife has a Ph.D and still hasn't figured out that I have seven Russian brides, two former thoroughbred racehorses with equine STDs, a Portuguese child whom I picked up on the black market, and 5% of the Kansas City Royals. I hope with all my heart that she doesn't find out about the Kansas City Royals.

Woulda been priceless if you'd said it like this.

[Pumpy Tudors]

Woulda been priceless if you'd said it like this.
So true... so true...

[TroyF]

Put the kid in a Royals uniform. He couldn't do any worse than what's there now, and being his legal gaurdian, you'll get his salary.

[Eaglesfan27]

Ditto. Well sort of. He knows the accounts exist, just doesn't know how to access them. It's so easy to set accounts up these days we both have our own.

If I told her it existed, she would bug me to tell her how to access it. She LOVES to spoil surprise gifts. :(

Then again, it is kind of fun when one really surprises her.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Arlie just hides my gifts way up high where I can't reach them. It's not much fun hunting for them if I have to drag the ladder around the house.

[Franklinnoble]

I'm not very good at keeping surprises. I either have to give my wife the gifts early, or buy them at the last possible minute.

[Rizon]

I want to make sure I don't get busted for making a certain purchase...Anyone have any ideas about how to get an item removed, or to change it? No It has nothing to do with the purchase of Porn...Just thought I would add that before all of the smart remarks start flowing in :-)

No.

It will show up on your bank statement unless you caught it quick enough for them to void the transaction instead of credit your account back (usually same-day). You'll see a charge for it, then a credit for it later. So it will be on your statement TWICE.

Luckily when buying pr0n or stuff like this it shows up on your statement under a different name (IE Sam's Marketing) instead of Back Door Midget Pornfest XXI. Not that I would know or anything ...

So unless your wife is going through it with a fine-tooth comb you don't have to be worried about castration.

[Tigercat]

The key is not to lie but stretch reality in the most rational way possible. If you get caught red handed, act really guilty(as you really are) and say it was a stupid drunken joke(which it pretty much is) and that you feel stupid and bad about it now.

You will get flak, but long term you should survive. Now, if you talk about it like it was a serious decision made and you show no sign of feeling guilty, you are toast.

[Logan]

Soooo WHAT WAS IT!

Seriously. The guy has had like 40 posts before this thread. It's not like we know anything about him, where getting this sort of information could come back to haunt him. Just tell us what kind of porn you're into so we can start making fun of you already.

[Greyroofoo]

Real men don't let their wives see credit statements.

[Galaxy]

If I told her it existed, she would bug me to tell her how to access it. She LOVES to spoil surprise gifts. :(

Then again, it is kind of fun when one really surprises her.


What's the biggest "suprise" you given her?

[Eaglesfan27]

What's the biggest "suprise" you given her?

So many directions to go with this....

[Galaxy]

Heh. Arlie and Radii would either have to bail us out of jail, or rent a hotel room to store all of our shopping bags.

It's a Marc Jacobs little number for a paltry $800 or so. He'd skin me alive if I spent that much money on a purse.


$800 pursue? What if it was your money, not his? Would Arlie still be pissed?

[Eaglesfan27]

The straight answer is some very nice diamond earrings.

[Galaxy]

So many directions to go with this....

This thread keeps getting better and better, doesn't it..:D

[DaddyTorgo]

Seriously. The guy has had like 40 posts before this thread. It's not like we know anything about him, where getting this sort of information could come back to haunt him. Just tell us what kind of porn you're into so we can start making fun of you already.

seconded. i want to know what the site was!

[Maple Leafs]

Seriously. The guy has had like 40 posts before this thread. It's not like we know anything about him, where getting this sort of information could come back to haunt him. Just tell us what kind of porn you're into so we can start making fun of you already.
Well, his other main post was the "does anyone speak binary" thread, so I'm guessing he joined an android sex chat site.

[st.cronin]

Who will lay odds this thread will hit 10 pages by Friday?

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

seconded. i want to know what the site was!
Not only that...but I want to read his profile on that site. :D

[DaddyTorgo]

Not only that...but I want to read his profile on that site. :D

ssssh...all in good time farrah

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

ssssh...all in good time farrah

Sorry. I do tend to get a bit impatient.

[DaddyTorgo]

Sorry. I do tend to get a bit impatient.

there's a dirty joke there somewhere but i'm too much of a gentleman

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

there's a dirty joke there somewhere but i'm too much of a gentleman

I'm demanding too...:D

[Galaxy]

The straight answer is some very nice diamond earrings.


"Diamonds: She'll pretty much have to.

[vyshka]

So this is a how do I defraud my wife scenario? You will get busted sooner or later. Own up to the foot fetish now, she'll go easier on you.

Heck maybe she will even help the foot fetish out by kicking you in the nuts. :)

[saldana]

Is it possible to tell your wife you made the purchase for a friend who doesn't have a credit card and that friend gave you the cash?


you would shit yourself if you knew all the things i have blamed on you.

[Lathum]

you would shit yourself if you knew all the things i have blamed on you.
very nice, no wonder she thinks I am a bad influence

[saldana]

very nice, no wonder she thinks I am a bad influence

"all this spam about seeing teenagers loose their virginity must be from Lathum's downloading his poker clients and his sportsbetting sites"

[kcchief19]

Serious advice: when your wife sees it (assuming the description is vague enough), and asks what it is, just wink and say "oh you'll find out soon enough". Then immediately go out and buy her a gift (with cash) that costs the same as the item. And surprise her with it within 24 hours.
I don't think he can be reactionary here. He needs to take the initiative.

When the bank statement arrives, he needs to go to his wife and demand to know what she spent her money on this. At the very worst, she'll think it was some sort of banking error and he can promise her he'll "take care of it." At best, she'll get confused and think she really did spend money on this and he'll not only get no blame but he'll get a chip he can cash in later.

How can that fail?

[stevew]

$800 pursue? What if it was your money, not his? Would Arlie still be pissed?

Goddamn, an 800 dollar purse. The zipper better be made out of gold, lined with premium silk, and constructed of rich, corinthian leather. Either way, that's just rediculous.

[oliegirl]

I don't know which Marc Jacobs bag it is, but I'm not at all surprised by the price. I personally would never spend that much on a bag even if I could afford it, but I understand why some people do, they are made from the best leather an many times all the detailing is hand done...they are gorgeous!

[gottimd]

Goddamn, an 800 dollar purse. The zipper better be made out of gold, lined with premium silk, and constructed of rich, corinthian leather. Either way, that's just rediculous.

Agreed. Its a goddamn bag. Does it hold items any different than a $5 bag? Why would you pay that much for a bag that does absolutely nothing different than a lot less expensive bag?

[albionmoonlight]

Who will lay odds this thread will hit 10 pages by Friday?

I think that this thread could end up in Werewolf territory before it is all said and done.

[albionmoonlight]

I don't think he can be reactionary here. He needs to take the initiative.

When the bank statement arrives, he needs to go to his wife and demand to know what she spent her money on this. At the very worst, she'll think it was some sort of banking error and he can promise her he'll "take care of it." At best, she'll get confused and think she really did spend money on this and he'll not only get no blame but he'll get a chip he can cash in later.

How can that fail?

What if she decides to "take care of it" and starts calling the bank, the company, etc. She sounds like a woman not afraid of a little Sherlock work.

[oliegirl]

I am just amazed that all you guys are coming up with ways for him to lie...he'll more than likely get caught and be in twice as much trouble.

Why not just cancel the subscription, get the refund for whatever part of it you didn't use, and tell her the truth...that you did it after you had been drinking, you regretted it as soon as you realized what you had done and you cancelled it...sure, she'll be upset, but I doubt it would last long and then you can move on.

I go back to my original question...do men never learn???

[FrogMan]

I am just amazed that all you guys are coming up with ways for him to lie...

ahem, not ALL guys... and I did learn, darn it, I had to teach the lesson to my son so I had better learn :D

FM

[st.cronin]

I am just amazed that all you guys are coming up with ways for him to lie...he'll more than likely get caught and be in twice as much trouble.

Why not just cancel the subscription, get the refund for whatever part of it you didn't use, and tell her the truth...that you did it after you had been drinking, you regretted it as soon as you realized what you had done and you cancelled it...sure, she'll be upset, but I doubt it would last long and then you can move on.

I go back to my original question...do men never learn???

The problem with your plan is that she will find out.

[Mustang]

Actually, if it was a 'dating' site.. uhh.. that was pretty stupid. Basic porn you can maybe explain away but, dating sites... might as well have slept with someone else.

Then again, I know some women that get up in arms over side boob so...

[illinifan999]

This thread delivers.

[gottimd]

http://www.picpop.com/gallery/albums/userpics/0823/wookiee.jpg

[Crapshoot]

Eh - the $800 purses aren't exactly uncommon - a bunch of people i know have $2000 purses, and them some. Hey, we spend our money on equipment and computers, booze, and what not - they spend it on purses.:D

[TroyF]

So many directions to go with this....

If you had said something like the "shocker" it would have been comedy gold.

Oh well.

[oliegirl]

Eh - the $800 purses aren't exactly uncommon - a bunch of people i know have $2000 purses, and them some. Hey, we spend our money on equipment and computers, booze, and what not - they spend it on purses.:D


That is an excellent point!!!! Next time I see a bag I want (I'm more in the $250 - $500 range), I'm just going to go for it and explain to radii that it was kind of like buying a new computer, which he would never argue with, so he can't be upset about the bag ;)

[Mustang]

Eh - the $800 purses aren't exactly uncommon - a bunch of people i know have $2000 purses, and them some. Hey, we spend our money on equipment and computers, booze, and what not - they spend it on purses.:D

I bought a Lord of the Rings statue once for $1,000

That really shouldn't surprise anyone....

[gottimd]

That is an excellent point!!!! Next time I see a bag I want (I'm more in the $250 - $500 range), I'm just going to go for it and explain to radii that it was kind of like buying a new computer, which he would never argue with, so he can't be upset about the bag ;)

Except there is a difference in buying a cheap computer, which will probably not perform as well as a more expensive model.

As for a bag, the $250 bag will carry stuff in a similar fashion as the $2000 bag. The only difference would be size of the bag.

I get into this argument with my wife all of time. She gets these $1K purses that are the size of a thumbtack. And for some reason, can't hold anything and when we go out, she asks me to hold stuff in my pants or my jacket (like her cell phone, keys,etc). I always ask her, "Whats the point of the purse if you aren't gonna carry anything in it?", which is then followed by the evil eye and me going to the bar to get drinks.

[stevew]

Eh - the $800 purses aren't exactly uncommon - a bunch of people i know have $2000 purses, and them some. Hey, we spend our money on equipment and computers, booze, and what not - they spend it on purses.:D

Our stuff is at least cool and functional.

[stevew]

Except there is a difference in buying a cheap computer, which will probably not perform as well as a more expensive model.

As for a bag, the $250 bag will carry stuff in a similar fashion as the $2000 bag. The only difference would be size of the bag.

I get into this argument with my wife all of time. She gets these $1K purses that are the size of a thumbtack. And for some reason, can't hold anything and when we go out, she asks me to hold stuff in my pants or my jacket (like her cell phone, keys,etc). I always ask her, "Whats the point of the purse if you aren't gonna carry anything in it?", which is then followed by the evil eye and me going to the bar to get drinks.

The 40 dollar bag is also effective in most situations.

[Maple Leafs]

I go back to my original question...do men never learn???
Yes we do. For instance, we've learned that when women play the "I won't be as mad if you're just honest about it" card, they're lying.

[FrogMan]

The 40 dollar bag is also effective in most situations.

yeah, and the wife and I would have a little talk if she came back home with any kind of purse paid more than $100. I guess we're on a tighter budget than some other around here. :(

Seriously, I'm not really imposing these budget restrictions on my wife, we're both very disciplined, and probably boring as hell to many people...

FM

[Crapshoot]

Our stuff is at least cool and functional.

Hey, no arguements here - though a women might argue that the purse is functional in
1) attracting the jealousy of other women
2) making them feel better about themselves (like a nice suit sometimes does for a guy)
3) an ostentatious display.

Like I said, not something i care for - I've watched my cousins pay a premium for "torn" jeans - $40 jeans, with sequins and the "perfect" tear, going for $200 - it drives me nuts.

[st.cronin]

Yes we do. For instance, we've learned that when women play the "I won't be as mad if you're just honest about it" card, they're lying.

Yes, it's a trap.

[Critch]

Make sure you get the statement first, then challenge your wife about why she's signing up for online dating agencies. Blame it all on her. Maybe a few tears if you can squeeze them out.

[JimmyWint]

I think I will just buy her a purse and let her know that the charge was for the purse I purchased. What name brand purse can I pick up for around 50 bucks?

[albionmoonlight]

I think I will just buy her a purse and let her know that the charge was for the purse I purchased. What name brand purse can I pick up for around 50 bucks?

What a way to tie the various threads of this . . . thread together. All you need to do is get a purse with a Pumpy pic on it and you will have truly mastered this thread.

[Mustang]

Yes, it's a trap.


http://fireproof.bravehost.com/myPictures/ackbar+trap.jpg

[Samdari]

I am so glad I married a woman who has no desire to own expensive clothing or accessories.

In fact she pretty much hates shopping.

[stevew]

http://fireproof.bravehost.com/myPictures/ackbar+trap.jpg

I knew someone would bring Ackbar into this.

[Franklinnoble]

I think I will just buy her a purse and let her know that the charge was for the purse I purchased. What name brand purse can I pick up for around 50 bucks?

Fifty bucks will pay for about 15 minutes of your divorce lawyer's time. Maybe you should save your money.

[Franklinnoble]

I am so glad I married a woman who has no desire to own expensive clothing or accessories.

In fact she pretty much hates shopping.

Ditto. My wife is probably the cheapest person I know. She'd kick my ass if I bought her a purse that cost over $40.

[Mustang]

I am so glad I married a woman who has no desire to own expensive clothing or accessories.

In fact she pretty much hates shopping.

Same here.. her favorite stores to shop in are Best Buy and Barnes and Noble. I have to reel her in when she gets a bug about wanting to upgrade our electronics equipment or get something new.

[JimmyWint]

I am going to sue Al Gore...If he had not invented the internet I would not be in this mess. ARGH!

[st.cronin]

I am going to sue Al Gore...If he had not invented the internet I would not be in this mess. ARGH!

Now you're talking.

[Ramzavail]

I don't think purses are $50, not nice ones that you'd want to give.

[Mustang]

I don't think purses are $50, not nice ones that you'd want to give.

Carson has spoken....

http://us.tv1.yimg.com/tv.yahoo.com/images/he/photo/tv_pix/bravo/queer_eye_for_the_straight_guy/carson_kressley/gallery_craigblankenship.jpg


:D

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

I think I will just buy her a purse and let her know that the charge was for the purse I purchased. What name brand purse can I pick up for around 50 bucks?

This is not wise. Women are picky about their handbags. What if she doesn't like it and wants to exchange or return it?

Bad idea.

[oliegirl]

Except there is a difference in buying a cheap computer, which will probably not perform as well as a more expensive model.

As for a bag, the $250 bag will carry stuff in a similar fashion as the $2000 bag. The only difference would be size of the bag.

I get into this argument with my wife all of time. She gets these $1K purses that are the size of a thumbtack. And for some reason, can't hold anything and when we go out, she asks me to hold stuff in my pants or my jacket (like her cell phone, keys,etc). I always ask her, "Whats the point of the purse if you aren't gonna carry anything in it?", which is then followed by the evil eye and me going to the bar to get drinks.


It's not about function, it's about how it looks with the outfit...

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

It's not about function, it's about how it looks with the outfit...

Bingo. Function is just a bonus.

What I really hate is Arlie asking me to carry his crap in my purse. I am not a pack mule. If you can't fit your big ass cell phone in your pocket, then maybe you should get a smaller one. :mad:

[oliegirl]

This is not wise. Women are picky about their handbags. What if she doesn't like it and wants to exchange or return it?

Bad idea.


Agreed.

Just buy her a nice ($150 or more) giftcard to a nice (Nordstroms or the like) store and let her go shopping...it's theraputic for women.

Or you could just fly her to Atlanta and Farrah and I will take her shopping with your credit card - that will guarantee forgiveness!!!! :)

[st.cronin]

There is a question unasked.

This "event" happened late at night? Where was the wife at that moment? What was SHE up to???

[Radii]

That is an excellent point!!!! Next time I see a bag I want (I'm more in the $250 - $500 range), I'm just going to go for it and explain to radii that it was kind of like buying a new computer, which he would never argue with, so he can't be upset about the bag ;)


I think that would go something like this:

Me: "Wait a second. We've been living together for almost 3 years now and have purchased one computer. Let me see if I can remember which one of us got a brand new computer in the last 3 years. HMMMM" ;)

[TroyF]

This is not wise. Women are picky about their handbags. What if she doesn't like it and wants to exchange or return it?

Bad idea.

Yeah, not a good move.

In all seriousness here, there are a ton of pitfalls no matter what you do. Say you get her a bag and she LOVES it. Decides that she'd like to order another one someday and decides to check the internet address from the shadow company on your statement?

Your best bet is to say it was a drunken joke that you and a couple of friends did on the internet one night. You really are in a no win here if she does some digging.

[Lathum]

I think the key bit of information is what will the name of the company appear as on your bank statement?

[kcchief19]

Ooooh ... that drunken thing sounds like a winner. You can never go wrong playing the "I was drunk card," since that is very simple and believable.

You could also try giving her a homemade coupon book filled with things like "Good for one hour of shopping for purses" or "Good for one hour of Jimmy lovin'." Sure, it's brutal, but it will make her happen and it will make you think twice in the future.

And not to be the voice of caution or reason in a thread where we are having some levity, is there any concern that if you're looking for love online after a night of drinking that there might be a greater problem in the relationship than her finding a mystery purchase on the bank statement? Just a thought.

[Maple Leafs]

By the way... I don't know what you bought, but many of the "bad" things you could buy on the Internet are actually recurring charges. So Adult-Robot-Boyfriends.org may charge you that $50 every month until you specifically cancel it. Just something to watch for.

[Maple Leafs]

Ooooh ... that drunken thing sounds like a winner. You can never go wrong playing the "I was drunk card," since that is very simple and believable.
No, bad idea. Women believe (probably correctly) that being drunk just makes you more likely to do what you already wanted to. Being drunk doesn't make you want to buy robot porn, it just gives you the balls to actually do it.

She's probably already secretly worried about what sort of repressed desires are in your freaky little head. No need to confirm that for her.

[Klinglerware]

I think the key bit of information is what will the name of the company appear as on your bank statement?

This is probably something you can find out before your statement comes.

[Maple Leafs]

Your best bet is to say it was a drunken joke that you and a couple of friends did on the internet one night. You really are in a no win here if she does some digging.
Actually, you could use the generic all-purpose male excuse for getting caught doing something dirty -- claim it's a joke gift for a friend's bachelor party. Claim that some guy at work is getting married, he's rumored to have a robot fetish, and you got nominated to buy the joke porn.

[FrogMan]

And not to be the voice of caution or reason in a thread where we are having some levity, is there any concern that if you're looking for love online after a night of drinking that there might be a greater problem in the relationship than her finding a mystery purchase on the bank statement? Just a thought.

I thought the same thing. I mean if the idea came to him to use this kind of service, if that's indeed the case, well, maybe there's something bigger behind the whole thing...

FM

[oliegirl]

I think that would go something like this:

Me: "Wait a second. We've been living together for almost 3 years now and have purchased one computer. Let me see if I can remember which one of us got a brand new computer in the last 3 years. HMMMM" ;)


Damn...I was hoping he wouldn't read this thread!

[stevew]

use the same excuse that one guy used after he ate all the brownies.

[stevew]

Bingo. Function is just a bonus.

What I really hate is Arlie asking me to carry his crap in my purse. I am not a pack mule. If you can't fit your big ass cell phone in your pocket, then maybe you should get a smaller one. :mad:

What to make of the school of thought that a handbag, as long as it matches your shoes, is "matching". Regardless of the fact that the handbag or shoes do not actually look good with the dress.

[King of New York]

JimmyWint,

When you see that your wife is about to open the bank statement, just take it from her, put it in your mouth, and eat it. Then act as if everything is perfectly normal. I guarantee that it will work.

It's sort of a variation on the "Big Lie" theory. If you try to weasel out of this sitiuation using a conventional method, you'll be busted, but if you so do something really nuts, you'll get away with it.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

What to make of the school of thought that a handbag, as long as it matches your shoes, is "matching". Regardless of the fact that the handbag or shoes do not actually look good with the dress.

The woman has no taste? Paris Hilton is notorious for this.

[Galaxy]

Wow...This thread has everything.

"FOFC: Queer Eye for the Porn Guy"

[Swaggs]

Actually, you could use the generic all-purpose male excuse for getting caught doing something dirty -- claim it's a joke gift for a friend's bachelor party. Claim that some guy at work is getting married, he's rumored to have a robot fetish, and you got nominated to buy the joke porn.

I like this one. I think it will get you no worse than an eye roll.

[Galaxy]

Agreed. Its a goddamn bag. Does it hold items any different than a $5 bag? Why would you pay that much for a bag that does absolutely nothing different than a lot less expensive bag?


But is it really differnet than buying cars (considering many cars are re-badged, ect.), ect. for guys? I mean, we have vices that we like that may seem wasteful spending to others. But really, if it makes them happy and they can afford it, and will use it, all more power to them. I'm guessing this pursue has something that represents that $800?

[illinifan999]

JimmyWint,

When you see that your wife is about to open the bank statement, just take it from her, put it in your mouth, and eat it. Then act as if everything is perfectly normal. I guarantee that it will work.


This wins. You should do this and record it. The reaction would be amazing.

[JeeberD]

I think the key bit of information is what will the name of the company appear as on your bank statement?

I think sites like that usually list what the billing name will be on the site's order page. See if you can find it there. Or just let me know what site it was and I'll look it up for you... ;)

[Desnudo]

JimmyWint,

When you see that your wife is about to open the bank statement, just take it from her, put it in your mouth, and eat it. Then act as if everything is perfectly normal. I guarantee that it will work.

It's sort of a variation on the "Big Lie" theory. If you try to weasel out of this sitiuation using a conventional method, you'll be busted, but if you so do something really nuts, you'll get away with it.

I really like this idea. I would add that I can provide a webcam.

Alternatively, I'm definitely for the purse purchase option. I can't wait to see what type of purses AdultFriendFinder sells.

[KevinNU7]

While I have enjoyed this thread it has become clear to me that it is a ruse.

[albionmoonlight]

While I have enjoyed this thread it has become clear to me that it is a ruse.

""

[Galaxy]

So, what exactly did Jimmy order?

[stevew]

who is jimmywint?

[sovereignstar]

I lack Closing Skills...Please Help

[sovereignstar]

Okay, so I have been seeing this girl for about a month now. Just yesterday she says she likes to get high once in a while with this girlfriend of hers. I have never smoked pot. I enjoy going out drinking about once or twice a week, and drinking too much, that is my vice. What is the difference between getting drunk like I do, or in getting stoned, other than the obvious fact it is illegal. I kind of threw up a red flag when I heard this...maybe I am overreacting? What do you all think?

[Passacaglia]

I always get this dood confused with Tom E.

[stevew]

Tell her you bought her some fancy cigars, but because of the smoking ban in your town, you can't smoke them, and they need to go back.

[st.cronin]

Okay, so I have been seeing this girl for about a month now. Just yesterday she says she likes to get high once in a while with this girlfriend of hers. I have never smoked pot. I enjoy going out drinking about once or twice a week, and drinking too much, that is my vice. What is the difference between getting drunk like I do, or in getting stoned, other than the obvious fact it is illegal. I kind of threw up a red flag when I heard this...maybe I am overreacting? What do you all think?

When a girl says she likes to "get high with a girlfriend" what she means is that she likes to "have sex with a girlfriend." So, pm FranklinNoble for advice. He'll know what to do.

[Klinglerware]

Okay, so I have been seeing this girl for about a month now. Just yesterday she says she likes to get high once in a while with this girlfriend of hers. I have never smoked pot. I enjoy going out drinking about once or twice a week, and drinking too much, that is my vice. What is the difference between getting drunk like I do, or in getting stoned, other than the obvious fact it is illegal. I kind of threw up a red flag when I heard this...maybe I am overreacting? What do you all think?

I would have said "Cowboy up", but I think that hand has already been played somewhere in this thread...

[JimmyWint]

"I enjoy going out drinking about once or twice a week, and drinking too much, that is my vice".

I knew my drinking would come to haunt me sooner or later. Perhaps I will disclose what I actually purchased, I just feel a lot of shame and it is hard to admit to it.

[rkmsuf]

"I enjoy going out drinking about once or twice a week, and drinking too much, that is my vice".

I knew my drinking would come to haunt me sooner or later. Perhaps I will disclose what I actually purchased, I just feel a lot of shame and it is hard to admit to it.

Clearly since you started a thread about it.

[terpkristin]

I am going to sue Al Gore...If he had not invented the internet I would not be in this mess. ARGH!

No, if you hadn't done something apparently insanely stupid with a credit card after drinking you wouldn't be in this mess. ;)

I concur with the ladies on the board (and the few men that have gone this way) that you should just grow a pair and own up to what you did.

As for the $800 purse, I can see owning them, but they're not for me. Then again I'm still a tomboy at heart, my current purse is a Tom Bihn bag (this one (http://www.tombihn.com/page/001/PROD/TBP/TB0202), actually, in grey exterior and red interior). Now Jessica Simpson's $800 panties...that's the epitome of waste IMO...

/tk

[Mustang]

I knew my drinking would come to haunt me sooner or later. Perhaps I will disclose what I actually purchased, I just feel a lot of shame and it is hard to admit to it.

Starting to sound like gay porn....

[Greyroofoo]

"I enjoy going out drinking about once or twice a week, and drinking too much, that is my vice".

I knew my drinking would come to haunt me sooner or later. Perhaps I will disclose what I actually purchased, I just feel a lot of shame and it is hard to admit to it.

Jack Daniels will make the shame go away.

[Glengoyne]

Starting to sound like gay porn....

Or one of those Animal links.

Com'on spill it or we'll just start to call you the gay animal porn dude.

[albionmoonlight]

kcchief19 had it right on the first page of this thread.

I'm betting that its Maximum Football.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Com'on spill it or we'll just start to call you the gay animal porn dude.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

[Mustang]

Or one of those Animal links.


Starting to come up with a flow chart of what is worse than what...

Gay Porn > Dating Site > Animal Porn > Normal Porn > Purses

[CamEdwards]

No, if you hadn't done something apparently insanely stupid with a credit card after drinking you wouldn't be in this mess. ;)

I concur with the ladies on the board (and the few men that have gone this way) that you should just grow a pair and own up to what you did.

As for the $800 purse, I can see owning them, but they're not for me. Then again I'm still a tomboy at heart, my current purse is a Tom Bihn bag (this one (http://www.tombihn.com/page/001/PROD/TBP/TB0202), actually, in grey exterior and red interior). Now Jessica Simpson's $800 panties...that's the epitome of waste IMO...

/tk

I think terpkristen just admitted she doesn't wear undies.

[Mustang]

I think terpkristen just admitted she doesn't wear undies.

That or she doesn't want Jessica Simpson to wear panties..

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Starting to come up with a flow chart of what is worse than what...

Gay Porn > Dating Site > Animal Porn > Normal Porn > Purses

I object! Animal porn is way worse than a dating site and gay porn.

[terpkristin]

Given the options...
I think terpkristen just admitted she doesn't wear undies.

or

That or she doesn't want Jessica Simpson to wear panties..

I think I'd prefer that the statement makes people think I don't wear $800 undies...

That said, I do wear 'em, just not $800 pairs. I'm a VS girl.

/tk

[sabotai]

I object! Animal porn is way worse than a dating site and gay porn.

I think we just learned something about Mustang that none of us ever wanted to know...

[Franklinnoble]

That or she doesn't want Jessica Simpson to wear panties..

:eek:

[Glengoyne]

I'm going to second Farrah's motion that Animal porn would be most objectionable, although work to ammend it because Gay porn(as opposed to lesbian porn) might arguably be worse.

I had a much better point to make about Farrah's assertion, but I've since read something about terpkristin's undies, and am thinking of all possible acronyms for VS girl. One of them has to translate to "thong"...I'm sure of it.

[Logan]

Aren't you the man of the house? Why does she even have a clue about the finances?

[Galaxy]

No, if you hadn't done something apparently insanely stupid with a credit card after drinking you wouldn't be in this mess. ;)

I concur with the ladies on the board (and the few men that have gone this way) that you should just grow a pair and own up to what you did.

As for the $800 purse, I can see owning them, but they're not for me. Then again I'm still a tomboy at heart, my current purse is a Tom Bihn bag (this one (http://www.tombihn.com/page/001/PROD/TBP/TB0202), actually, in grey exterior and red interior). Now Jessica Simpson's $800 panties...that's the epitome of waste IMO...

/tk


Where you out shopping with Jessica Simpson or something?

[Galaxy]

"I enjoy going out drinking about once or twice a week, and drinking too much, that is my vice".

I knew my drinking would come to haunt me sooner or later. Perhaps I will disclose what I actually purchased, I just feel a lot of shame and it is hard to admit to it.

Might as well as just say it, and get it done with.

[Draft Dodger]

Okay, so I have been seeing this girl for about a month now. Just yesterday she says she likes to get high once in a while with this girlfriend of hers. I have never smoked pot. I enjoy going out drinking about once or twice a week, and drinking too much, that is my vice. What is the difference between getting drunk like I do, or in getting stoned, other than the obvious fact it is illegal. I kind of threw up a red flag when I heard this...maybe I am overreacting? What do you all think?

best post of the thread

[Draft Dodger]

Might as well as just say it, and get it done with.

can't be worse than gay robot porn, can it?

[Draft Dodger]

I had a much better point to make about Farrah's assertion, but I've since read something about terpkristin's undies, and am thinking of all possible acronyms for VS girl. One of them has to translate to "thong"...I'm sure of it.

VS = very skimpy.

[Draft Dodger]

quadola,
somehow, it seems fitting that Ricky Martin came up in iTunes as I was reading this thread

[tanglewood]

can't be worse than gay robot porn, can it?

a la Bjork?

[Axxon]

a la Bjork?

Or more likely Sy Borg... gimme dat, gimme dat Sy Borg.


It's really the defiinitive work in the genre of gay robot porn.

[Axxon]

Dola, for those who are blissfully unaware of the reference

hxxp://www.nomorelyrics.net/song/91940.html

[st.cronin]

That or she doesn't want Jessica Simpson to wear panties..

/applauds

[Anthony]

i think he's into shit porn.

you know, the porn where they show one person eating shit out of another person's ass. that's the hardest of hard core porn.

i've seen some pics of shit porn (in my search for asian women getting pissed on porn), and i wish i could unsee them. i don't know if they're photoshopped, or even if that's real shit, but the fact that someone could think of it and others could be aroused by it makes me think nature selected the wrong animals to inherit the earth.

[DaddyTorgo]

i think he's into shit porn.

you know, the porn where they show one person eating shit out of another person's ass. that's the hardest of hard core porn.

i've seen some pics of shit porn (in my search for asian women getting pissed on porn), and i wish i could unsee them. i don't know if they're photoshopped, or even if that's real shit, but the fact that someone could think of it and others could be aroused by it makes me think nature selected the wrong animals to inherit the earth.

scat-porn is primarily an asian-fetish largely because of the asian (particularly japanese) obsession with cleanliness, the unclean thus becomes fetishized and "dangerous/forbidden" and you have scat-porn.

[Axxon]

scat-porn is primarily an asian-fetish largely because of the asian (particularly japanese) obsession with cleanliness, the unclean thus becomes fetishized and "dangerous/forbidden" and you have scat-porn.

Well, as far as I'm concerned this fetish is full of crap.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

i think he's into shit porn.

you know, the porn where they show one person eating shit out of another person's ass. that's the hardest of hard core porn.

i've seen some pics of shit porn (in my search for asian women getting pissed on porn), and i wish i could unsee them. i don't know if they're photoshopped, or even if that's real shit, but the fact that someone could think of it and others could be aroused by it makes me think nature selected the wrong animals to inherit the earth.

Why does this not surprise me?

[cthomer5000]

scat-porn is primarily an asian-fetish largely because of the asian (particularly japanese) obsession with cleanliness, the unclean thus becomes fetishized and "dangerous/forbidden" and you have scat-porn.

I think an even larger reason is the fact that they can't show penetration in their porn, so they had to come up with crazy-ass ways for people to get all excitied.

the thought of someone dropping a turd on my chest doesn't exactly revv me up.

[Axxon]

Why does this not surprise me?

Which part:

1. JimmyWint is into shit porn

2. The definition of shit porn

3. Hell Atlantic has experienced shit porn

4. All of the above

?

[cthomer5000]

in my search for asian women getting pissed on porn

, and i wish i could unsee them. i don't know if they're photoshopped, or even if that's real shit, but the fact that someone could think of it and others could be aroused by it makes me think nature selected the wrong animals to inherit the earth.
so i guess this is exactly where you draw the line in what you don't find attractive?

[Axxon]

I think an even larger reason is the fact that they can't show penetration in their porn, so they had to come up with crazy-ass ways for people to get all excitied.

the thought of someone dropping a turd on my chest doesn't exactly revv me up.

Surely this still isn't true. I've seen Asian porn with full penetration. I knew it was the law before but I didn't think it still was and even if it is, is it worth them going this far out to try and achieve titillation?

[Axxon]

so i guess this is exactly where you draw the line in what you don't find attractive?

But if the coprophelia involved deli meat, condiments and bread would he then lower his standard?

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Which part:

1. JimmyWint is into shit porn

2. The definition of shit porn

3. Hell Atlantic has experienced shit porn

4. All of the above

?

#2 - #4

[Axxon]

#2 - #4

Very well put. :)

Only necrophelia, pedophelia and animal sex ( goatophelia? ) rates higher on my disgust scale and I once knew a quite pretty necropheliac. ;)

[Anthony]

so i guess this is exactly where you draw the line in what you don't find attractive?

i would say that's an accurate statement. shit porn is ground zero for me, i'm cool with most anything else.

oh. and ejaculation porn - i don't go for that stuff. i think it's called bukkake. nope, that's like 1a on my list of no-no's. that and shit porn is enough to make me close up shop if i happen to come across it in a "get to know myself better session".

anyway, i think this guy is into that stuff. i'd certainly would want to hide it from my wife.

oh, and i don't like child pornagraphy. i have boundaries dammit.

[cthomer5000]

Surely this still isn't true. I've seen Asian porn with full penetration. I knew it was the law before but I didn't think it still was and even if it is, is it worth them going this far out to try and achieve titillation?

Not sure about other countries, but i mentally meant Japanese in my post.
Legal standards

Japanese law requires that genitals in pornographic movies be obscured, a practice referred to as porn mosaic. Additionally, Japanese law requires blurring of other items for television broadcast, such as handcuffs or the faces of non-adults.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porn_mosaic

[cartman]

Not only that...but I want to read his profile on that site. :D

I'm late to this dog and pony show, but is JW a reincarnation of HornsManiac?

[stevew]

Not sure about other countries, but i mentally meant Japanese in my post.
Legal standards

Japanese law requires that genitals in pornographic movies be obscured, a practice referred to as porn mosaic. Additionally, Japanese law requires blurring of other items for television broadcast, such as handcuffs or the faces of non-adults.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porn_mosaic

Yeah, i knew what you meant about Japanese porn. That's why they do all those fucked up cartoons, right? Since that is legal.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

I'm late to this dog and pony show, but is JW a reincarnation of HornsManiac?

Funny you should mention dogs and ponies....:p

Actually I did not have the pleasure of experiencing HornsManiac and his philosphy on wooing women. He was before my time.

[cthomer5000]

Yeah, i knew what you meant about Japanese porn. That's why they do all those fucked up cartoons, right? Since that is legal.

Yeah, the laws on porn basically forced a lot of "innovation" in porn.

[Greyroofoo]

I once knew a guy who said he had a girlfriend with a scat fetish which he fulfilled by taking a dump on her chest.

I never talked to him again.

[cartman]

Funny you should mention dogs and ponies....:p

Actually I did not have the pleasure of experiencing HornsManiac and his philosphy on wooing women. He was before my time.

I was thinking that maybe we DID read the profile, if they are one and the same person...

:D

[Axxon]

Yeah, the laws on porn basically forced a lot of "innovation" in porn.

Which Wikipedia of course helps clarify. :)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pornography_in_Japan

I did mean Japanese in my example but of course, this could be officially illegal in Japan porn or possibly Japanese participants in porn shot in other countries.

[Anthony]

I once knew a guy who said he had a girlfriend with a scat fetish which he fulfilled by taking a dump on her chest.

I never talked to him again.

playa hater. i don't judge people, the world is big enough for everyone to get their groove on any way they like. just not in my backyard.

i would have fulfilled her fetish by pissing in her mouth and having her spit it back at me, which would in turn infuriate me to the point where i would then further piss on her, this time with much more fury and abandon. that would show her.

my nipples are hard now.

[stevew]

I once knew a guy who said he had a girlfriend with a scat fetish which he fulfilled by taking a dump on her chest.

I never talked to him again.


Probably a good call there.

[Axxon]

I found the following page on the subject of japanese porn which pretty much states what I'm saying.

hxxp://experts.about.com/q/Adult-Film-2706/Japanese-Porn-Uncensored.htm

I don't know anything about experts.about.com but it does sound quite authoritative. :)

[Rizon]

My wife has probably around 200 purses. She use to work in the handbag department of a clothing store. She'd come home with a new one each night. She probably hasn't used 83% of them, but refuses to sell them on E-bay or anything.

The funny thing is she use to come home with $800 purses she got on sale for $500, and she would talk about how much money she saved. And now she can't figure out how she's $8000 in debt. Probably spent all her money or handbag porn.

[Izulde]

Furries disturb me.

[Bad-example]

If my wife ever came home and told me her purse cost $800, she had goddamned better be using a euphemism for going to the gynecologist.

[Izulde]

That said, I do wear 'em, just not $800 pairs. I'm a VS girl.

/tk

Thank you for keeping me employed. :D

[Anthony]

Thank you for keeping me employed. :D

you work in a women's lingerie store?


were you offended by Ozzie Guillen's recent comments by any chance?:confused:

[Izulde]

Yeah, i knew what you meant about Japanese porn. That's why they do all those fucked up cartoons, right? Since that is legal.

They're required to mosaic hentai, too. That's what's cool about the English versions of hentai movies and games; a lot of times the mosaics are lifted.

[Axxon]

you work in a women's lingerie store?


were you offended by Ozzie Guillen's recent comments by any chance?:confused:

Hmm, don't follow. It seems like for a hetero guy, working at a womens' lingerie store would be pretty awesome. Do you think homosexual males want to see women trying on lingerie? I don't.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

My wife has probably around 200 purses. She use to work in the handbag department of a clothing store. She'd come home with a new one each night. She probably hasn't used 83% of them, but refuses to sell them on E-bay or anything.

The funny thing is she use to come home with $800 purses she got on sale for $500, and she would talk about how much money she saved. And now she can't figure out how she's $8000 in debt. Probably spent all her money or handbag porn.

mmmm handbag porn

[Axxon]

Ok, maybe one beer too many at dinner but it crossed my mind that the subject
Is it Possible to Fudge a bank Statement? might just validate HA's guess.

[Galaxy]

You know, all this thread needs is a HornManics sighting of how to be cocky and funny, and it would be gold.

[Axxon]

mmmm handbag porn

Provide the less imaginative among us with some clues please. What handbags, where would they be, how would they be used? Let your imagination run wild. :)

[Axxon]

You know, all this thread needs is a HornManics sighting of how to be cocky and funny, and it would be gold.

Since it's already platinum that would be about right. ;)