Celebrity Hot or Not, Vol. 47: Jessica Simpson

[Kodos]

Kelly Clarkson garnered less than a 40% hotness rating, severely lessening her chances of making the Celebrity Hot or Not Tournament. Next up, Jessica Simpson. The question on this pollster's mind: Will Nick's fans be able to forgive her?


Previous Voting Results


Elisha Cuthbert 92.00
Anna Kournikova 90.97
Kate Beckinsale 90.51
Jessica Alba 89.78
Salma Hayek 87.68
Scarlett Johansen 86.45
Shania Twain 86.09
Natalie Portman 86.06
Charlize Theron 85.40
Keira Knightley 84.18
Evangeline Lilly 81.20
Alyssa Milano 79.89
Angelina Jolie 78.49
Eva Longoria 77.93
Ashley Judd 77.85
Faith Hill 77.10
Eva Mendes 76.26
Melissa Stark 75.00
Christina Milian 70.97
Jennifer Aniston 68.32
Cindy Crawford 62.50
Kirsten Dunst 61.01
Tyra Banks 60.14
Angie Harmon 60.00
Danica Patrick 59.17
Reese Witherspoon 58.05
Tiffani Thiessen 57.93
Kate Winslet 57.23
Christa Miller 52.43
Jennifer Garner 47.10
Sandra Bullock 44.65
Jennifer Lopez 44.23
Katie Holmes 43.28
Kelly Clarkson 39.85
Parminder Nagra 38.64
Teri Hatcher 37.96
Pamela Anderson 37.90
Uma Thurman 35.51
Gillian Anderson 35.48
Grace Park 33.33
Cameron Diaz 31.67
Madonna 14.47
Sarah Jessica Parker 11.05

[CleBrownsfan]

Perfect body but she looks like a man baby - IMO.

[MJ4H]

easy one. hot

[PackerFanatic]

Dukes of Hazzard anyone? Yowza...

[Kodos]

Her stupidity prevents me from voting hot. It is just too much of a turnoff.

[rkmsuf]

she looks smelly

I saw a mad tv with her on it from years ago though that gave me a boner.

I'm going not though. I can't stand the whole act she has going on.

[bulletsponge]

right now votes are 4-3 for hot, which leads me to think there are 3 gay dudes who voted

[Anthony]

before i die, i must fornicate with her.



in every orifice.

[rkmsuf]

Dukes of Hazzard anyone? Yowza...

It's all trick photography.

[Desnudo]

Nah

[Kodos]

right now votes are 4-3 for hot, which leads me to think there are 3 gay dudes who voted

7-6 now. FOFC must be a haven.

[wade moore]

Her stupidity prevents me from voting hot. It is just too much of a turnoff.

Fortunately I've never logged time with her MTV show or anything else where I get to see her stupidity...

[Desnudo]

right now votes are 4-3 for hot, which leads me to think there are 3 gay dudes who voted

I think it's gayer to have voted for a man.

[rkmsuf]

I think it's gayer to have voted for a man.

wurd

she's a mimbo

[Toddzilla]

Her stupidity prevents me from voting not. It is just too much of a turnon.

[kingfc22]

If IQ came into play, then definately not. But her body is smokin.

[rkmsuf]

I think she is probably terrible in the sack. Just a hunch.

[WSUCougar]

Not, not, a thousand times not.

[JeeberD]

She used to be incredibly hot, but the recent pics I've seen of her make it seem like she's going downhill. Still, she's barely in the "hot" category...

[Butter]

Her stupidity prevents me from voting hot. It is just too much of a turnoff.

I decided it was not quite enough of a turnoff to prevent me from voting hot. But it was on a razor's edge there. I actually gasped when I revealed the outcome.

[Toddzilla]

I know you can't tell if someone is hot just by listening to them and not seeing them, so by that standard I believe you cannot say someone isn't hot buy what they say and not how they look.

[Eaglesfan27]

The body is just too good to vote not.

[rkmsuf]

I know you can't tell if someone is hot just by listening to them and not seeing them, so by that standard I believe you cannot say someone isn't hot buy what they say and not how they look.

that's not true. it's a combination unless you are allowed to tape their mouths shut. I have lobbyed for this in certain cases.

[Draft Dodger]

really, people. lower than Melissa Stark?

[BrianD]

I think we need a vote for below-the-neck hot, or paper-bag hot...

[PackerFanatic]

Granted her stupidity does turn her off a little bit...I voted on sheer hot looks.

[PackerFanatic]

dola, her stupidity is probably just an act anyways (or I sincerely hope so)

[vex]

Nick has fans?

[MalcPow]

Her stupidity? Did you guys sleep through all of your objectifying women classes at man school? This is, pardon the pun, a no-brainer.

[BrianD]

dola, her stupidity is probably just an act anyways (or I sincerely hope so)

She is the one that couldn't figure out if Chicken of the Sea tuna was fish or chicken, right?

[RendeR]

Her stupidity? Did you guys sleep through all of your objectifying women classes at man school? This is, pardon the pun, a no-brainer.


Yer rightm its a no-brainer....NOT HOT. She's such a freaking moron. But more than that she KNOWS she has a nice body and she also knows its the ONLY reason she has any celebrity at all.

I hate pompous asses.

NOT HOT.

[rkmsuf]

She is the one that couldn't figure out if Chicken of the Sea tuna was fish or chicken, right?

that was probably shctick but regardless she hasn't a clue how to be sexy. that whole family over there is bonkos.

[Desnudo]

dola, her stupidity is probably just an act anyways (or I sincerely hope so)

I'm sure it's more of a "never had to think for myself," kind of ignorance rather than out and out stupidity. Which is more of a turn-off to me than someone who is plain dumb.

[rkmsuf]

I'm sure it's more of a "never had to think for myself," kind of ignorance rather than out and out stupidity. Which is more of a turn-off to me than someone who is plain dumb.

very well said

impressive, danielson

[BrianD]

that was probably shctick but regardless she hasn't a clue how to be sexy. that whole family over there is bonkos.

I don't think so. There are too many of those stories for it to be an act. Her sister seems to be just as bad. I'm not sure how either got to be famous since they are both devoid of any talent. That said, for curiosity's sake, I'll check out Ashlee's spread in Playboy if she decided to do it.

[Desnudo]

very well said

impressive, danielson

That's what Ali Mills said

Arigato

[rkmsuf]

That's what Ali Mills said

Arigato

ooh doctor. ali mills.

[cartman]

I'd bang her smart.

[rkmsuf]

I don't think so. There are too many of those stories for it to be an act. Her sister seems to be just as bad. I'm not sure how either got to be famous since they are both devoid of any talent. That said, for curiosity's sake, I'll check out Ashlee's spread in Playboy if she decided to do it.

how sick and twisted can parents be is my question

they are geniuses though. they got the cash which I suppose was the goal.

[Raiders Army]

not

[Antmeister]

I had mixed feelings over this because I had remembered when she was a stick figure, but this picture proves that she filled out quite well and I even felt my knees buckle a little bit:

NSFW:hxxp://thebosh.com/archives/Jessica%20Simpson%20%20Shot.jpg

If only it slipped a little further.

[gkb]

Boobs...hot.

[sovereignstar]

Bitch has had work done on her boobs. All you need to do is look at pre-2004 photos. Regardless, not.

[MIJB#19]

Had I never seen Newly Weds, I'd have voten hot in a second. But her act on that show, I hope it was an act, it almost pushed me into not...

[MIJB#19]

Kelly Clarkson garnered less than a 40% hotness rating, severely lessening her chances of making the Celebrity Hot or Not Tournament.Tournament? :)

[Neuqua]

Solid face with a hall of fame body.

Hot Hot Hot.

[dawgfan]

Solid face with a hall of fame body.

Hot Hot Hot.
Hall of fame body, but I'm not a big fan of her face.

[Antmeister]

By the way, thanks for the edit Jeebs. I don't know what I was thinking.

[JeeberD]

Gotta take care of my fellow Texans, don't I?

[Joe]

her sister is much hotter

[JeeberD]

her sister is much hotter

http://www.fof-ihof.com/phpBB2/images/smiles/icon_dunce.gif

[-Mojo Jojo-]

I'd place her dead last of all the hot-or-not candidates so far. I'd rate Bucc higher...

[Kodos]

Tournament? :)

Sooner or later there will be a seeded tournament. Or something.:)

[Antmeister]

I'd place her dead last of all the hot-or-not candidates so far. I'd rate Bucc higher...

Okay, you don't get to vote anymore. It doesn't matter if you voted not, but to rate Bucc higher is just sheer madness.

[JonInMiddleGA]

her sister is much hotter

Same thing I was thinking.

[JeeberD]

Sooner or later there will be a seeded tournament. Or something.:)

You said seed...

[Buccaneer]

Not, not, a thousand times not.

You and I have agreed on nearly everything so far. I'll just let you vote on my behalf.

[Galaxy]

Bitch has had work done on her boobs. All you need to do is look at pre-2004 photos. Regardless, not.

I've always wonder. She looks different than she did a few years ago.

The IQ thing is a whole-turn off, plus the sister and dad is a little weird. Her dad is a very odd person. Used to be a priest.

I'm with rkmsuf, I've got a feeling she would be bad in the sack.

[Desmond]

I wanna bang her with the unyielding vigorousness of a thousand torrential rainfalls.

[PackerFanatic]

I wanna bang her with the unyielding vigorousness of a thousand torrential rainfalls.

So much truth in this statement, its ridiculous

[sovereignstar]

So much truth in this statement, its ridiculous

You know Desmond? :eek:

[Lorena]

Buttaface, no way

[Vinatieri for Prez]

really, people. lower than Melissa Stark?

Of course. I would trade 7 nights of Jessica for one with Melissa. Hands down.

[Vince]

I can't stand her, think she's dumber than a box of rocks, and hate her music.

But damned if she isn't hot.

[RainMaker]

Anyone want to change their vote?

http://i.imgur.com/ig3qR.jpg

[Eaglesfan27]

Lots of votes I would change if asked again 6 years later.

[Swaggs]

She just had a baby two months ago.

[BillJasper]

Anyone want to change their vote?

http://i.imgur.com/ig3qR.jpg

Nick Lachey is probably thanking God right now that he dodged that bullet. :eek:

[MacroGuru]

Im still not going to hold that picture against...she had close to a 10 pound baby on May 1st. She is going to the gym and eating healthy and doing it right without torturing herself.

[spleen1015]

I'd still love every second of it!

[Matthean]

We should just rename these polls, "How hot are you now?"

EDIT: If she was voted on during her peak, then a certain someone's number isn't that outrageous.

[Matthean]

This thread desperately needed some pics back in the day.

http://images.tvrage.com/people_galleries/11/31322/77391.jpg

http://images.tvrage.com/people_galleries/11/31322/77389.jpg

http://files.dosomething.org/files/jsimpson_0.jpg

http://www.desktop2wallpapers.com/images/wmwallpapers/Jessica-Simpson-01-1.jpeg

http://freakzappeal.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/jessica_simpson.jpg

[Suicane75]

I'm mad at her. She's dumb and vapid and silly beyond the pale and my brain keeps saying "don't do it, don't do it" and then my penis says "sorry, couldn't help it" and I start to feel inferior as a human being that I can't control myself. Then I realize that millions of years ago I was a caveman and that it's ok, in wandering instances to just be all, "Boobs.........yeah".
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[Buccaneer]

Hopefully, she has a comeback in her because when she was on, she was insanely hot.


Comeback to do what? She didn't do anything in the first place?!?

[rowech]

Comeback to do what? She didn't do anything in the first place?!?

A comeback from her current look to her old look.

[Desnudo]

Anyone want to change their vote?

http://i.imgur.com/ig3qR.jpg

I vote against hating on new moms. Although it does look like she got into a lot of late night ice cream.

[Autumn]

I'm mad at her. She's dumb and vapid and silly beyond the pale and my brain keeps saying "don't do it, don't do it" and then my penis says "sorry, couldn't help it" and I start to feel inferior as a human being that I can't control myself. Then I realize that millions of years ago I was a caveman and that it's ok, in wandering instances to just be all, "Boobs.........yeah".
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Yeah but then that singer dude she dated said something about how she's a sexual tornado in bed, and suddenly everything was in a different light. I figured she was one of those lay there and smile types, but sounds like she's a bad girl.

[heybrad]

I'd do it just for the story.

[Rizon]

Damn, look at those baby feeders.

[JediKooter]

I thought that was Kirstie Alley for a second.

[RendeR]

That looks nothing like her. Are we certain those are actual shots of Simpson? I mean gaining is one thing, but that looks like a completely different person entirely.

[BlackJack]

put it back in its cage

[stevew]

Nick Lachey is probably thanking God right now that he dodged that bullet. :eek:

He could easily outrun that bullet, but probably wouldn't want to get stuck in a phonebooth with her.

[molson]

It's probably just like, a bad angle or something.

Either way, if this was a non-celebrity acquaintance, now would be a good opportunity to put a little time in. I think she'll make a comeback.

[dawgfan]

I've seen quite a few new moms. I've never seen any that got that blimped-out...

[Grover]

I really don't think that's her in the pic above.

http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/simpson.jpg?w=600&h=400&crop=1

[Suicane75]

Built Ford Tough

[RendeR]

I'm with Grover, the one in the black outfit really isn't her I don't think. Just doesn't look right. Nothing resembling simpson at all about that pic.