Coffee Warlord
05-27-2007, 12:47 PM
A friend of ours' bachelor party last night. Raced go-karts, drank a bunch, and then hopped in a limo to go to a strip club. Simple enough, yes?
Now, we get to this place. We discover my buddy (NOT the bachelor), after maybe 30 minutes of being there, is hammered beyond belief. He frankly didn't look that bad up until this point. I wind up having to physically guide him into the pisser there, at which point one of the staff is telling me that he's probably going to have to leave if he's that drunk. Now, mind you, we all came in the limo, the bachelor is having a good time, so there's basically zero transportation available aside from a $100 cab ride.
I chat with the staffer for a few minutes, tell him lemme take care of him and we'll deal with him leaving/staying shortly. No problem.
He winds up puking in/around/all over the urinal. Which of course, officially guarantees we have to get him out of there. So I take a quick collection, and we have enough money for a cab ride. Club calls a cab, and we get him outside. Pain in the ass, but still not a HUGE problem.
Cab is taking quite awhile. At this point, he's sprawled in the parking lot, unable to even stand, puking over himself, me, anything and everything. Not good. I'm trying to keep him conscious and figure out what the fuck to do now, since he's rapidly worsening. All the while most everyone else is trying to keep all of this from The Bachelor, for obvious reasons.
Finally, we bite the bullet and call the ambulance. We couldn't even keep him upright, or get him to answer simple questions. It had gotten to dangerous levels. We get him in the ambulance and get him carted off. I call the hopistal about a half hour later and am told he's asleep.
Which of course, I then get the honor and privledge of placing a phone call to his wife at 1am telling her where her husband is going. Who is now, this morning, apparently pissed off at me for not staying at the hospital to watch him...sleep.
Moral of the story: Don't do that during someone else's bachelor party. In fact, don't do that...ever.
Now, we get to this place. We discover my buddy (NOT the bachelor), after maybe 30 minutes of being there, is hammered beyond belief. He frankly didn't look that bad up until this point. I wind up having to physically guide him into the pisser there, at which point one of the staff is telling me that he's probably going to have to leave if he's that drunk. Now, mind you, we all came in the limo, the bachelor is having a good time, so there's basically zero transportation available aside from a $100 cab ride.
I chat with the staffer for a few minutes, tell him lemme take care of him and we'll deal with him leaving/staying shortly. No problem.
He winds up puking in/around/all over the urinal. Which of course, officially guarantees we have to get him out of there. So I take a quick collection, and we have enough money for a cab ride. Club calls a cab, and we get him outside. Pain in the ass, but still not a HUGE problem.
Cab is taking quite awhile. At this point, he's sprawled in the parking lot, unable to even stand, puking over himself, me, anything and everything. Not good. I'm trying to keep him conscious and figure out what the fuck to do now, since he's rapidly worsening. All the while most everyone else is trying to keep all of this from The Bachelor, for obvious reasons.
Finally, we bite the bullet and call the ambulance. We couldn't even keep him upright, or get him to answer simple questions. It had gotten to dangerous levels. We get him in the ambulance and get him carted off. I call the hopistal about a half hour later and am told he's asleep.
Which of course, I then get the honor and privledge of placing a phone call to his wife at 1am telling her where her husband is going. Who is now, this morning, apparently pissed off at me for not staying at the hospital to watch him...sleep.
Moral of the story: Don't do that during someone else's bachelor party. In fact, don't do that...ever.