The thread for those of us left behind in the May 21 Rapture

[Drake]

Please check in.

I so just got done stealing shit from my neighbor's house. There was no one there, so I'm assuming they were raptured...or in Indy. Either way, it's the Apocalypse, so everything is fair game.

[molson]

i still have my hopes up!!!! My dad was a Lutheran pastor and I had many a honest communion...I am hopeful this counts as a tiebreaker of some type.

[Drake]

Does anyone know what the official rapture position is on zombies? I'm wondering if I should break into the Wal-Mart to get some .30-.30 ammo. I appear to be running low.

I know, I know. Failure to prepare.

[chrisj]

This better go down. Otherwise, I don't know how I'll explain that e-mail I sent to the boss when I left work today.

[Thomkal]

Sorry guys I got raptured so I guess I won't be posting any more...

[CrimsonFox]

I'm up here in the clouds and it's GREAT! Hey! I can see my house from here!!!

[Butter]

The day's not over yet. I have a feeling this is a fantasy draft type situation, so people will be disappearing throughout the day...

[Passacaglia]

How many Gods are drafting?

[Dutch]

I'm still here but my PS3 just left for a better world with 3 beeps and a red blinking light? WTF?

[MacroGuru]

Still here...but I thought it was supposed to happen at 6pm in my time zone? Or did I miss the memo? Which must be saying something.....

[ColtCrazy]

How many Gods are drafting?

Zeus is on the clock...

[Lathum]

I would feel a lot better about this whole thing if Groundhog checked in...

[Apathetic Lurker]

Oh fuck..The kid and wife dissapeared...Oh wait..thats good news. My Vodka will be safe from now.....

[Sun Tzu]

Zeus is on the clock...

I loved him in "No Holds Barred"

[Sun Tzu]

I want a T-shirt that says "I lived through the rapture and all I got was this stupid T-shirt"

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

My bride/groom getting married at the winery today are supposed to get married at the exact time of rapture (6:00 PM). Hopefully they get to the kiss before the world ends.

[mckerney]

http://i.imgur.com/qlHBy.jpg

[DanGarion]

What are you talking about left behind, we are the ones that got taken away!!!!!

[sabotai]

My bride/groom getting married at the winery today are supposed to get married at the exact time of rapture (6:00 PM). Hopefully they get to the kiss before the world ends.

My sister is getting married today. Hopefully the bar is open for a few hours before the world ends.

[ColtCrazy]

I want a T-shirt that says "I lived through the rapture and all I got was this stupid T-shirt"


:D

[Eaglesfan27]

I have friends who are still waiting for the rapture tonight.. I think I need some more intelligent friends.

Edit: Oh, is it supposed to be by time zone?

[duckman]

I thought this was all going down at 6pm Pacific Time?

[sabotai]

I thought this was all going down at 6pm Pacific Time?

Oh good, I should be thoroughly liquored up by then.

[Lathum]

My understanding is there is supposed to be a rolling earthquake that hits 6 PM local time. At least I'll have enough heads up to fill up my bathtub.

[sabotai]

You know, this comes at a great time for me. Now I don't have to find a dumping site for the two dead hookers in my trunk.

[Sun Tzu]

Is this like baseball, where it "starts" at 6pm, but the first rapture isn't actually until 6:10?

[ColtCrazy]

My twin boys' 2nd birthday is today. There's a 30% chance of rain later today. What a story to share someday. Well, first it rained on your birthday, then there was the rapture which left me alone to clean up...

[RomaGoth]

I guess buying that new box of diapers for my kids wasn't necessary after all. Wait, is this rapture thingy mountain time or eastern time? I get so confused with the start times in tv guide......

[Kodos]

Is this like baseball, where it "starts" at 6pm, but the first rapture isn't actually until 6:10?

I just hope that Christina Aguilera doesn't sing the pre-Rapture national anthem. Or do you think it'd be a hymn?

[Julio Riddols]

Based on the numerology that follows, you all should quit with the jokes.

Today is May 21. There are 24 hours in a day. 21x24= 504. Divide that by 3 for the number of cheeseburgers I wish I had in front of me right now and you get 168. 1+6+8= 15, the title of a hit song by Taylor Swift.. BUT Everyones favorite antichrist, Marilyn Manson also has a song titled 15. Figures the devil would play some trick like this to keep us from noticing.. Now, if you take 15 and multiply that by 13, the number of letters in the name Marilyn Manson, you get 195. 195 is the sum of 11 consecutive prime numbers, which is the same as the number of apostles left before Jesus' resurrection after Judas committed suicide. OMFGWTF.

[saldana]

Based on the numerology that follows, you all should quit with the jokes.

Today is May 21. There are 24 hours in a day. 21x24= 504. Divide that by 3 for the number of cheeseburgers I wish I had in front of me right now and you get 168. 1+6+8= 15, the title of a hit song by Taylor Swift.. BUT Everyones favorite antichrist, Marilyn Manson also has a song titled 15. Figures the devil would play some trick like this to keep us from noticing.. Now, if you take 15 and multiply that by 13, the number of letters in the name Marilyn Manson, you get 195. 195 is the sum of 11 consecutive prime numbers, which is the same as the number of apostles left before Jesus' resurrection after Judas committed suicide. OMFGWTF.

this is post of the year material right here.

[Sun Tzu]

Based on the numerology that follows, you all should quit with the jokes.

Today is May 21. There are 24 hours in a day. 21x24= 504. Divide that by 3 for the number of cheeseburgers I wish I had in front of me right now and you get 168. 1+6+8= 15, the title of a hit song by Taylor Swift.. BUT Everyones favorite antichrist, Marilyn Manson also has a song titled 15. Figures the devil would play some trick like this to keep us from noticing.. Now, if you take 15 and multiply that by 13, the number of letters in the name Marilyn Manson, you get 195. 195 is the sum of 11 consecutive prime numbers, which is the same as the number of apostles left before Jesus' resurrection after Judas committed suicide. OMFGWTF.

Clutch.

[Rizon]

I was looking forward to less traffic on my Monday morning commute. Damn.

[mckerney]

Zeus is on the clock...

He is picking later than Zeus but I still say Odin is the favorite to come out of the draft the winner.

http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll2ryjFQc21qgq28go1_500.jpg

[Sun Tzu]

I haven't seen Pumpy around today. Odds that he's already shooting pool with Hendrix and Payton?

[JAG]

He is picking later than Zeus but I still say Odin is the favorite to come out of the draft the winner.

http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll2ryjFQc21qgq28go1_500.jpg

Odin had one eye and used a spear, that would likely be Thor in the picture. Otherwise, good one.

[/Norse hat]

[mckerney]

Odin had one eye and used a spear, that would likely be Thor in the picture. Otherwise, good one.

[/Norse hat]

Fine.

http://i.imgur.com/CNGMW.jpg

[CrimsonFox]

*clapclapclap*
:chickendance:

[M GO BLUE!!!]

You know, this comes at a great time for me. Now I don't have to find a dumping site for the two dead hookers in my trunk.

Just in case, I hear Long Island is good for this sort of thing.

[Karlifornia]

I can't wait for this shit to end, so people can ease up on the recycled jokes.

[GrantDawg]

When this doesn't happen today, wait for the crazy from those who believed it to be turn up to 11.

[Passacaglia]

I can't wait for this shit to end, so people can ease up on the recycled jokes.

Agreed -- it's really surprising how much play this has received. Newsflash: people believe weird shit.

[rowech]

And it begins...

Volcano erupts in Iceland, spurs 50 quakes - World news - Europe - msnbc.com (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43121772/ns/world_news-europe/)

[stevew]

Roll Call

[Sun Tzu]

"Aparently Jesus hates Bjork"

Awesome comment on that site.

[Passacaglia]

Kaiser!

[Dutch]

I'm giving the guy responsible for this going viral the benefit of the doubt and not talking mad shit until 9PM Eastern time...just in case.

[CrimsonFox]

(also ripped from facebook...)

...and it came to pass that Randy Savage prevented the Second Coming...

3037

[Sun Tzu]

I'm giving the guy responsible for this going viral the benefit of the doubt and not talking mad shit until 9PM Eastern time...just in case.

I say screw him. I'm Jewish, so I'm already fucked.

I wonder if the sales of canned goods and ammunition spiked today...

[stevew]

Camping needs to go to the top of the punch in the face list.

[Rizon]

6:02, no rapture!

[Rizon]

Well, my dog just raptured the last of the chocolate milk while I came in here to type this.

[Rizon]

Hahahaha, we just had an earthquake in CA at 7:00 ... Jesus is late!

Rapture!!!

[Rizon]

A 3.6

If you subtract 13 from 36 you get 23 !!!!!!1

[Rizon]

hxxp://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsus/Quakes/nc71573330.html

[Groundhog]

I would feel a lot better about this whole thing if Groundhog checked in...

:D

[Dutch]

I say screw him. I'm Jewish, so I'm already fucked.

Well, to be fair, I think there was open interpretation on whether the Mayans meant the 2nd coming or the 1st coming. Same result though, there is no good among us...we're all a bunch of dirtbags. Thanks Mayans.

[21C]

Hahahaha, we just had an earthquake in CA at 7:00 ... Jesus is late!
Was Jesus working on daylight savings time?

[sabotai]

What the fuck!? This rapture was supposed to save me from enduring the worst part of a wedding (reception)! The part where the DJ acts like a fucking asshole........or maybe that was the rapture....hm.

[Schmidty]

That dufus should have actually read the Bible. Matthew 24:36. That's it. Period. I mean there are more verses than just that one (1 Thessalonians 5:2 for example), but you don't even need any more.

Why any Christian would follow this lunatic/charlatan is beyond me. I guess I feel like them, how I assume atheists feel about me - baffled.

Blah. This whole thing annoys me, although some of the jokes and photoshops that came from it are really freaking funny.

[Schmidty]

Somebody please post something funny. I don't want to be the mom walking in on you masturbating or something. :)

[sabotai]

Somebody please post something funny. I don't want to be the mom walking in on you masturbating or something. :)

Hm. I was going to ask a question about Matthew 24:36, about how can Jesus and God be the same if one knows something that the other doesn't....

But, since you want something funny, have a Louis CK video.

<iframe width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/RTrCBcrFMCI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[stevew]

Here's a couple funny (http://espn.go.com/mlb/boxscore?gameId=310521123) things (http://espn.go.com/mlb/boxscore?gameId=310520123) for you Schmidty.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Here's a couple funny (http://espn.go.com/mlb/boxscore?gameId=310521123) things (http://espn.go.com/mlb/boxscore?gameId=310520123) for you Schmidty.

I guess the Tigers' bats are/were the true good Christians.

[mckerney]

Hm. I was going to ask a question about Matthew 24:36, about how can Jesus and God be the same if one knows something that the other doesn't....


God Quietly Phasing Holy Ghost Out Of Trinity | The Onion - America's Finest News Source (http://www.theonion.com/articles/god-quietly-phasing-holy-ghost-out-of-trinity,3156/)


I hear Jesus is getting pushed out next.

[JediKooter]

Boy, I bet it's going to be a long walk/drive home for some people.

[Sun Tzu]

This thread needs more George Carlin.

[Marc Vaughan]

As I explained to my wife the other day - just because she's still here it doesn't mean the rapture didn't happen .... she might just have subscribed to the wrong belief set ... somewhere an obscure cult with lots of inner breeding might have vanished leaving the rest of us behind :D

[JediKooter]

Kinky

[Pumpy Tudors]

I haven't seen Pumpy around today. Odds that he's already shooting pool with Hendrix and Payton?
Yeah, it happened, but I came back because I still had some shit to finish up here.

I mean down here.

You know what I mean.