Life Stuff

[Honolulu_Blue]

It's still weird to me that I (and many others) have been around this place for almost 14 years now, and longer if you go back to the original board. I've never been one to share all that much about my personal life over those 14-15 years, but the last several months have been... eventful.

Back in January my wife and I decided to try for kids and did IVF. It took the first time through and she became pregnant with twin girls.

At the end of May of this year, my wife of 9 and 1/2 years took her own life.

She had suffered through a pretty bad bout of depression from around November 2012 through August 2013. She seemed to have come out of it and fully recovered. I think, however, a combination of the hormones from the IVF and being pregnant with twins, either triggered a relapse or enhanced her underlying depression.

On Friday, May 30th, I left for work like any other day. We had breakfast in the kitchen, talked about whatever people talk about on a Friday morning, we had guys there to turn on our air conditioning, totally normal morning. I say goodbye, go to work, come home, and she's gone. The rest is what you'd expect, not worrying, worrying, trying everything to find her, etc. It turns out that, at some point on Friday morning, she left the house and drove to West Virginia. At about 5:30 am Saturday morning someone spotted her standing on the New River Gorge Bridge and called 911. A deputy drove up, saw her standing there. They made eye contact and she jumped before he got one foot out of the car.

I know it wasn't my fault. There was nothing I could have said or done to prevent what occurred. She was very smart and determined. She drove far away to be sure that I wouldn't be the one to find her. She did not want that. She wanted to do something that was certain (jump off a 600 ft. high bridge). She couldn't fathom being "hospitalized" and pitied (she hated being pitied above almost anything) as some poor crazy woman who tried to kill herself and failed. She didn't want to trouble anyone with either her life or her death. She turned her phone off so she couldn't be tracked, hand wrote the directions, erased the internet history on her computer, and had about $300 worth of cash on her, so she couldn't be tracked via credit cards. She wanted to quietly exit stage left and do so with as little trauma and pain as possible to those she cared about, me in particular. In her mind, what she was doing was an act of love. There was nothing I could have done. It took about a week, week and a half, before I accepted this and finally knew it, but I've been there for a long time now.

Despite the lack of any note or communication about what she was thinking or why she did what she did, I have a very clear idea of both. While I don't, and never will agree with it, I understand what, in her mind, she thought she was doing and why.

Initially, I went through a cycle: disbelief, grief, and anger. Disbelief was the strongest for a while, but that faded. I guess, to be a cliche, I came to accept what happened. So, yeah, acceptance seems to be the first stage. (I think it's the official First Stage of Grief (tm), but I'm not sure and too lazy to check at the moment.)

Anger also lingered for a while, but that too faded once I started to really think about depression and mental diseases in general and viewed them more as, well, an actual disease, a defect no different than a heart abnormality that leads to a heart attack, or cells dividing and growing so rapidly that they become cancerous. So, with that thinking, anger was largely gone. You don't get angry at someone because their heart is defected or because their cells go crazy. At least my anger at her was completely gone, as opposed to anger or frustration at the situation. I have nothing but empathy for her. She tried everything she could, everything, to get better. To be right. Nothing worked.

So that leaves me with grief. I have grief. I will always have this grief. I experienced this when nephew Julian died as a result of a brain tumor 3 years ago. To me, it's like there's been holes ripped into my soul. They will never heal. Ever. They grow smaller over time, but will never completely close. They will always ache, but as time goes on they ache less frequently and the pain doesn't last as long. I have a few such holes now, as anyone around our age likely does, though perhaps mine are a bit deeper and larger than most, but they are not at all all encompassing. They do not define me. Even now. when the grief comes, it comes sudden (sometimes unexpectedly) and then passes quite quickly. It is not a realm in which I choose to dwell.

Life is for the living and it's too short to spend a lot of time looking backward at only pain, grief, and tragedy. I'm not a sad, moping person who enjoys wallowing in, or even just sort of spending a significant amount of time with, or just contemplating, grief. I don't avoid it, repress it, or feel the need to be some sort of stoic manly man about it. I embrace my grief, let it wash over me completely and entirely, and then come out the other side.

When I do look back now, it's almost always at the better times I had with my wife and all of the wonderful things she taught me and all the ways she helped, if not down right forced, me to grow into the better person I am today. While we can't always choose where our mind goes, once we realize what it's doing (not always easy), we can re-direct it and that shift, subtle as it may be sometimes, can make all of the difference.

So, for whatever it's worth, that's where I'm at with all of this three months later. I don't have any unresolved issues (at least that I'm aware of and I think I would be). I have no sense of things lingering under the surface or in dark corners. Granted, while I don't foresee any significant, lurking issues to deal with, it would be foolish to think with complete certainty that none exist. It is possible that at some point along the way I stumble across some hidden balrog associated with all that's happened that I was unaware of and have to deal with it. I don't see it happening, but it's one of those "unknown unknown" situations.

So, where does this leave me?

I'm now a single 40-year old guy with a slightly anti-social dog. I live in a house that I love and can afford, but is admittedly a bit large for a boy and his dog. I have a great job that I really enjoy. I'm very lucky to have all of my immediate family within 20 minutes of me and we're all close. I also have a very strong network of friends near and far. I've always been lucky in that. It's been three months now and I don't feel like I have all that much more to process.

I kind of want to get started with the next chapter of my life - I ain't getting any younger (none of us are)- but I'm not sure the outside world is quite ready for me to do that.

Thanks for listening.

H_B

[DaddyTorgo]

Jeezus Christ H_B - I'm sorry to hear that man.

That's absolutely terrible - my heart breaks for you man.

I...I don't even know what to say.

[Blackadar]

I'm so sorry HB. My condolences and prayers go out to you and yours.

[JonInMiddleGA]

I have no words that would be sufficient. Prayers & condolences to all those touched by this.

May your healing continue, surely & steadily.

[cuervo72]

Dear God, H_B. I'm so sorry. Sounds like you're dealing with it as good as anyone could be expected, but damn.

[cartman]

Damn, H_B. That is a lot to deal with. As for the stages, I glad to see you won't be surprised if earlier ones pop up and reappear. Dealing with something like this isn't a checklist. Hopefully you have a support system in place to assist you when you need it.

[CraigSca]

Wow. Dumbfounded. Can't imagine what you are going through, though you tried your best to express it in your post. Can only wish you good luck and have you in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong.

[flere-imsaho]

So, so sorry to hear this, H_B. You have my thoughts and condolences.

[Vince, Pt. II]

Heartbreaking story. If there were something any of us could do, we'd be happy to do it. Keeping you in my thoughts!

[Izulde]

Nothing most of us can say other than we're sorry to hear of something so awful, respect your ability to work through this as best as you, or really anyone, can, and offer hope and prayers/good thoughts for you going forward.

[Radii]

Oh god I'm so, so sorry H_B, no one should have to go through any of this. Stay strong, man.

[Flasch186]

woah

[Castlerock]

So, so sorry. Any words I think to type just seem so lacking.

[Neuqua]

Thanks for sharing. Best of luck to you moving forward.

[Eaglesfan27]

I am teary for your loss. I wish there was something I could do for you. You and your family will be in my prayers.

[Kodos]

Such a heart-breaking story. From the sounds of it, you are dealing with it pretty well, but still, what a horrible situation. I can't imagine having to go through that. You have my sympathy, and it feels empty even as I say it, if there is anything any of us can do to help, even if it is just to listen for a bit, please reach out. FOFC is a great bunch of guys when it comes to helping someone in need.

[PilotMan]

So sorry H_B. Your story brought tears to my eyes. I'm happy that you've been able to move along from this time in your life. I applaud your fortitude in all of this. I can't even imagine how you dealt with it. As always you have your support and love of your FOFC brethren.

[JediKooter]

I can not find the words that can come close to expressing how sorry I am HB. I wish you the best and definitely take advantage of your support group, whether it's family, friends or here and all of the above.

[law90026]

So sorry to hear and I wish you all the best moving forward

[Travis]

H_B you are in my thoughts and prayers. Reading your journey above I can't help but admire the mindset, courage and compassion you've shown. I hope this is repaid to you 100x over moving forward and that you're able to find the sort of home life that you'd like as you quite deserve it.

[MacroGuru]

H_B - Wow, it brought tears to my eyes. My prayers / thoughts / good wishes are being sent to you. I applaud you for your coping ability and desire to move forward.

[CleBrownsfan]

Very sorry to read this HB. I can't imagine going through what you have been through these last few months. My thoughts are with you and those effected.

I never have experienced what you've been through but reading your post really makes me applaud your process to "understand" the situation. I envy your strength - I don't know if I would have the same.

[Chief Rum]

See, now look what you have done. You have me feeling bad and emotional about a Wings fan. I mean, WTH, H_Blue?

Seriously, though, man, that's pretty powerful. And from what you posted, you have handled it a lot better than most. You have a healthy perspective on a horrible tragedy in your life, and that can only help you moving forward.

I think you have a good handle on things, but we're certainly here if you need us.

[oykib]

That's awful, man. I can't even express how much I'm sorry for your loss.

[path12]

You're one of my favorite posters on this board. Thank you for sharing that and I am so sorry for your loss. I've also dealt with suicide up close and empathize.

Depression is a terrible disease.

[Pyser]

holy crap. so sorry to hear that.

[albionmoonlight]

Thoughts and prayers. So sorry.

[Qwikshot]

I can not find the words that can come close to expressing how sorry I am HB. I wish you the best and definitely take advantage of your support group, whether it's family, friends or here and all of the above.

I'm going to echo this. I cannot fathom how I would react to this. You are in my thoughts.

[flounder]

I wish there was something I could say. I'm so sorry.

[Marc Vaughan]

Really sorry to hear about recent events, hang in there and if there is ever anything I can do however small drop me a PM.

[Lathum]

Unbelievably sad.

Your post was one of the most well written I have ever seen, you really captured your emotion.

I can't even imagine what you went and are going through, I hope you stay strong and keep a clear head.

My brother in law took his own life about 12 years ago, on Christmas Eve, so I know first hand what effect that can have on those around them. I admire your attitude about it.

[Bobble]

Wow. Thoughts and prayers is all I can think to say, HB. I can only hope I'd handle something like that half as well as you are.

Royal Oak is only a half an hour away from me if you need someone to share a beer with.

[timmae]

Thinking of you man... It changed the way I will greet my wife when I see her in about 5 minutes. Whatever you need we are here!

[Sweed]

So sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine what it must have been like. I truly admire you and the way you have thought through the whole situation with understanding instead of anger. You and yours will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Solecismic]

I'm very sorry to read about your loss. Sometimes, there's just no way to know or understand the private demons people are keeping.

[terpkristin]

Wow. There are no words for what you've been through or your amazing resolve to pick up. Thinking of you.

/tk

[EagleFan]

Sorry for what you have gone through. Wishing you the best in the future.

[Draft Dodger]

I am so sorry, my friend.

I am truly amazed at how well you seem to be handling it; it's a true testament to your character.

[JPhillips]

Words fail. Take care.

[Dutch]

I'm terribly sorry, my sincere condolences.

[PurdueBrad]

H_B, with all sincerity, my family wishes you well and we're very sorry you've had to endure this. I was truly speechless after I read it and had to share it with my wife because of how heartsick I felt with you. As many of us have offered, if you need anything, let us know.

[IlliniCub]

HB that sucks and I feel for you. I'm going through a shitty breakup myself and it doesn't even compare to yours. The pain sucks man. Depression is scary stuff and I think the underlying cause for my situation. You'll be in my thoughts and I'll pray for your healing. My heart really is breaking for you right now.

[sterlingice]

Prayers and thoughts to you. I don't really know what else to say

SI

[RomaGoth]

I rarely come around here these days, busy with the job and family but your thread title intrigued me so I decided to take a peek. All I can say is wow, you have been through quite a bit these past few months (and probably before that as well). I am so sorry for your loss, perhaps you are reconciled with things now; but one can never fully leave that place of having a partner one day and nobody the next without some type of consequence. Isn't it odd how we tend to take things for granted in life, then something tramatic occurs, we appreciate what we have for awhile and then go back to taking it all for granted again until the next big life event. I am glad you have a solid foundation of family and friends around you.

[digamma]

Wow. My thoughts and prayers certainly go out to you.

Many times you may hear people say "stay strong." I offer the opposite advice. Stay vulnerable. There is a danger in becoming hardened. Feel as much as you can.

And all my best.

[Edward64]

Very sorry for all you've been through. Please take care of yourself and make sure you have someone to talk to if/when needed.

[Warhammer]

Prayers and positive thoughts headed your way. Stay positive and make sure to maintain your support network.

[Honolulu_Blue]

Fellas (and lady), thanks for all of the kind words, support and advice. I greatly appreciate it.

This is the only message board/on-line community I've ever considered myself a member of and there's a reason for that.

Thanks again.

[CU Tiger]

I'm late to the party having just seen this.
But I can't imagine. Sounds like you are doing amazing given the circumstances. You are definitely in my prayers.

[Icy]

I'm very sorry about you have been through.

Seems you are handling it the best possible way, staying positive looking forward and not staying tied to the past.

When we lost our first daughter a week after she was born, we went through all the same stages. From hard to believe, why to us, anger at the hospital and docs, to finally acceptance and moving forward helped by your close circle, name it friends, family, support groups or whatever helps you.

Once you decide the later (that of course can take time) you are ready to start living again. We have two kids now and our first daughter is still in our minds and we have pictures of her at home, told about her to our kids, but it's not as painful to remember anymore.

You won't ever forget nor you want to, your wife was a huge part in your life, but you will slowly start enjoying this life (full of ups and downs) again.

[MikeVic]

I'm truly saddened and sorry about all of this. You'll be in my thoughts.

[MIJB#19]

That's one sad story, H_B.
I feel sorry for your loss. It's encouraging to read that you're dealing with it the best you can.

[cougarfreak]

That's a horrible story. Man, you are very strong. You've picked up the pieces and and moved on better than I could ever imagine. This board serves as a great sound board.

[Desnudo]

Goddam that's terrible. My wife miscarried at 20 weeks last Christmas. I can't imagine losing her as well. I'm sure you'll always carry it with you, but best wishes for finding happiness.

[BillJasper]

I am at a loss for words. Honolulu_Blue, you are a far stronger person than I am.

[hoopsguy]

H_B, I'm pretty amazed that you are able to present this coherent a narration of events after what you've been through. Been thinking about this every day since you've posted, and hope that you get the long-term outcomes that you deserve.

[AlexB]

Stay strong HB. I'm sure I'm like everyone who has read this and hope you continue to deal with it as well as you appear to be so far.

[stevew]

Thinking of you.

[cubboyroy1826]

Really not sure what to say HB other than I am very sorry. Takes a really strong person to go through what you have been through. Sorry for your loss and remember we are all here should you need someone to chat with. I think we probably have most of the time zones covered here as a community as well. So don't worry about what time it is if you need a release.

[Honolulu_Blue]

Thanks again, guys. I do appreciate this.

A few more random stray thoughts:

I have all of these past times and hobbies that I love and have been engaging in since I was 6 years old or so: video games, board games, and role playing games. On some level, they are all sort of pure escapism, but I've never really seen them that way, because I never really felt the need to escape from anything. I just enjoyed the story-telling aspect of things, being with friends, getting lost in other worlds, contemplating strategies, roster moves, or drafts, and all of that. Now, however, I think they are serving that other purpose. I suppose it's a good thing to have right now. It's really allowed me to deal with a lot of this in bite-sized chunks.

[Logan]

Reading this for the first time. No better way to say what others already have about what you have gone through, so I'll just say that your perspective on this is truly astounding, and frankly, inspirational...although certainly something none of us would ever aspire to be apart of.

Continued good health and good thoughts.

[Honolulu_Blue]

I figured I would provide a brief update as to where I am now with all of this.

Monday marked the six month anniversary of my wife's death. Thursday, Thanksgiving, would have been our 10th wedding anniversary. On top of all of that, for the last four years my sister-in-law has organized a massive fundraiser on the Saturday after Thanksgiving to raise money for pediatric cancer research in honor of my nephew. It's a great event, a fancy dinner/silent auction thing. Me, my wife and two of our friends always ran the wine raffle. So, needless to say, the last week or so was a bit more emotional than others. I just felt things more acutely.

Similarly, the last week or two in September and the first week or so of October were a bit rougher for me too. My wife's due date was around then, but we were told that twins never go full term, so about two weeks ago the idea that, but for what happened, I would currently be the father of two little girls really started to sink in a bit, which made things more raw. This part of what happened is still a bit confusing to me on some levels. I don't think I've fully parsed it out and I am not sure I ever will.

All that being said, overall, I am still doing very well. I still miss her very much, I always will, and I still get sad at times, but it tends to pass as quickly as it comes more often than not.

I finally decided to get back into the dating scene. It's weird, because it's never something I thought I'd ever do again and it's not like I was all that active in the "dating scene" before I was married. Still, it's been pretty interesting so far and I've met a few really cool people. I guess there is an entire thread here dedicated to that stuff, so maybe I'll chime in there at some point. So, between all of that, football, hockey, friends, family, my dog, and video games, I've kept pretty busy.

My general view is probably best summed up by the famous Andy Dufresne quote: "It comes downs to a choice: Get busy living, or get busy dying." I've had my fill of the latter for a while, so I am focusing on the former.

Thanks again.

[DaddyTorgo]

Hey - PilotMan and I mentioned your situation in passing when we met up this weekend H_B.

I am still amazed, and grateful for you, at how well you seem to have recovered.

Just wanted you to know that we were thinking of you.

[Lathum]

Sorry you are dealing with this. I say embrace the sadness briefly then move on, it will keep you more connected.

[Butter]

Thanks for sharing. That sounds sarcastic, but it's not meant to be.

[timmae]

Thanks so much for the additional updates. At times my thoughts wander to your (and others') situation(s) here on the boards and it helps me center my own life. I have a few construction projects in Michigan through the middle part of next year so if you ever need a reason to get downtown send a PM. Or I can always use a reason to swing by Love and Buttercream for some Macarons. Those things are awesome! Thanks again H B!!

[BYU 14]

Thanks for the update, it is heartwarming to see your progression and also how you still manage to stay connected to the emotions.

Keep getting busy living friend

[JPhillips]

Nothing I want to say seems to have words to say it. Take care and God bless.

[Buccaneer]

I am sorry to have missed this the first time and I can only offer up my prayers to you in finding lasting peace and continue to have your life filled with positive things. Take care.

[Honolulu_Blue]

Thanks again for all of the support, fellas. I really appreciate it.

[Honolulu_Blue]

I figured I'd update this at least one last time.

Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of my wife's passing.

It's very weird to think it's been over a year now since I last saw and spoke with her. Over the last week, I kept ticking things off - it's been a year since our last dinner out together, it's been a year I last got a text from her, it's been a year since she last wrote me an email, it's been a year since I last saw her, etc. I'm not sure why, but I did.

Despite it being a year now, she is still very much a part of my life. Her voice is strong in me. She is the primary voice of change, motivation, and just trying new things. Hers is the voice that breaks me out of my routines and helps me overcome my inertia (I love my routines and inertia is a powerful force).

Overall, I'm doing well. I can even have a FOFC member vouch for me, since, after 15+ years here, I finally met one of us in person. I had dinner with Butter_Of_69 a few weeks ago when he was in town for business. It was good times.

I think everything I've said prior on this still holds true 1 year/6 months later. I've continued to live my life. I still love my job. I still have incredible support from my family and friends. I have the scars from this and always will. I'm not sure if this whole thing has made me stronger, as the famous saying goes, but it certainly has made me more aware of a lot of things.

After six months or so of getting back into the dating game - still odd to think about - my general impression is that there are quite a few good women out there - even for a geeky (yet terribly charming and handsome) guy like me. It's run a bit hot and cold, with some ups and downs, but overall it hasn't been that bad. At the moment, I have that's been pretty great so far, but it's early yet, so we'll see what, if anything, materializes.

I wanted to thank you all again for all the support, thoughts, prayers, messages, and what not that you've given me over the past year. I feel very fortunate to be a part of this weird, oddball mix of people that is FOFC.

[PilotMan]

You're the man, and you're still in my thoughts on a regular basis. I'm happy to hear that you continue to heal.

[Edward64]

Glad to hear you are doing okay. Continue to take care of yourself.

[Chief Rum]

It's all part of the process, man. I think you continue to handle everything great. I completely get that how truly hard it must be can't even begin to come across on screen, too.

Keep it up. I hope to be able to meet you myself some day soon as well.

[Flasch186]

Best part of FOFC is the times we help eachother out through good and bad times.

[Lathum]

Glad to see you are doing as well as can be expected, and better than most would be doing.

[Butter]

You're the man

Having visited him, I can confirm this is true. Was also really nice of him to end a long work day with driving out to Livonia to chauffeur me around from my hotel to a local Irish pub. Enjoyed it on my end also, H_B!

[albionmoonlight]

It makes sense that y'all would go out to a pub since a Honolulu Blue and a Butter of 69 each sound like a custom cocktail.

[Eaglesfan27]

It makes sense that y'all would go out to a pub since a Honolulu Blue and a Butter of 69 each sound like a custom cocktail.

:D

Glad to hear that you are doing well HB!

[Kodos]

I think you've shown incredible resilience. Something like this would sink a lesser man.

[Eaglesfan27]

I think you've shown incredible resilience. Something like this would sink a lesser man.

Agreed. Horrible circumstances and you have been remarkably resilient. I'm glad to hear that you sought out therapy and even happier to hear that you found a good therapist for you right away.

[Chief Rum]

Rooting for you, H_B. Glad to hear things are looking up.

[Vince, Pt. II]

Glad to hear that things are on the mend!

[cartman]

Great update. Keep up the good fight!

[timmae]

You are a good dude HB.. I was thinking about ya when I was in Detroit earlier this month. Keep your head up!!

[CraigSca]

Nice to read these updates and good to hear you keep on progressing. Keep it up and best wishes for you!

[PilotMan]

It's very good to hear that you were able to find and accept help through therapy. I can't imagine not doing that, considering what you've been through. You're a strong man. Keep fighting the good fight.

[Subby]

If I could give you a big, awkward man-hug through the intertubes right now, I so fucking would.

***MAN-HUG***

[MalcPow]

Late to seeing this, and digesting the range of what you've been through in one read really resonates. Add another voice to the echo of those here applauding your willingness to embrace new joy while holding onto everything that's happened with empathy, understanding, and a deeply human courage.

Truly happy for you and, like Subby, full of the same impossible to communicate range of emotions that can only really be conveyed through mutual burliness and awkward huggery.

[Marc Vaughan]

It actually forced me to seek therapy, something I hadn't yet done. I'm glad I did. It's been incredibly helpful. I think I was pretty lucky to find a therapist that really worked for me right off the bat. I still see once every two weeks and it's been incredibly helpful just being able to work through some things and talk about things that I can't really talk to anyone else about.

Glad you found the bravery to go to therapy (and I think for many men it does take guts to do) ... I've been in therapy for over a year myself because of some life events which kicked the sh*t out of me and I found it helped me hugely.

Glad you seem to be doing well - keep fighting the good fight :)

[MIJB#19]

If I could give you a big, awkward man-hug through the intertubes right now, I so fucking would.

***MAN-HUG***Is it okay to make it a group hug?

[Dutch]

I would feel pretty awkward having a group hug that involved Subby, but I'll take one for the team...and H_B.

[Dutch]

Wow. My thoughts and prayers certainly go out to you.

Many times you may hear people say "stay strong." I offer the opposite advice. Stay vulnerable. There is a danger in becoming hardened. Feel as much as you can.

And all my best.

Be strong by being aware of the weakness and challenge
at all times? Perhaps...

I think you've shown incredible resilience. Something like this would sink a lesser man.

On a lesser scale, an Ole Miss running back suffered a pretty terrible injury that required a year of rehab that only gave him a chance to play again...his name escapes me, but he was playing this year. He said, "Sometimes what defines you is what you do when the sun isn't shining." ...or something along those lines...but very true indeed and profound.

[Edward64]

I would feel pretty awkward having a group hug that involved Subby, but I'll take one for the team...and H_B.

How about just football game with beer and hot dogs?

HB, its great that you knew you wanted help and went to see a therapist. Hang in there, I'm sure it'll be a journey.

[digamma]

I would feel pretty awkward having a group hug that involved Subby, but I'll take one for the team...and H_B.

I'd hug the sh*t out of Subby and H_B.

[Honolulu_Blue]

Fellas, as always, thanks for all of the incredibly kind words of support. It really means a lot to me.

And I'd gladly man-hug each and every one of you, group hug or otherwise.

You're good people. Very good.

[Honolulu_Blue]

Huh.

Well, it's been almost two years since I last updated this. A lot has happened. All of it pretty amazing.

Things did not end up working out with the woman I met two years ago. I eventually broke it off with her for a whole host of reasons. It was definitely the wise move.

I ended up dating a woman I had met a couple of years ago. We had a thing for a while, but it was right around when I was bottoming out over everything, so I had broken it off. Turns out that was a massive mistake and I have had the amazing fortune to get a second chance.

We ended up getting back together in January of 2017. Things went amazingly well. She's a fantastic person and the perfect partner in every way. I far, far out kicked my coverage.

To make a long story short, we ended up moving into a new house together in June of this year. The new place is less than two miles from my old house. She has a seven year old son and we wanted to stay in their neighborhood, so he could be close to all of his buddies and not have to switch schools. We originally thought about building her house out, but ended up finding a place that we both loved.

We just got married a week and a half ago and went to New Orleans on our honeymoon.

So, now, about four and a half years since this thread started, I am married to an amazing woman, have a seven year old stepson, who is really great, a new dog (my old dog passed away in the summer of 2016), who I adore, and a new home.

While this is not the path or journey I would have chosen, the destination is pretty remarkable.

[Butter]

Congrats, H_B. So glad to hear. Let me know if you ever get down this way, into dirty, dirty Ohio. My son is up at Bowling Green, so it wouldn't be a total stretch to get together for a dinner in Detroit at some point in conjunction.

[Vince, Pt. II]

Hell yeah!

[Honolulu_Blue]

Congrats, H_B. So glad to hear. Let me know if you ever get down this way, into dirty, dirty Ohio. My son is up at Bowling Green, so it wouldn't be a total stretch to get together for a dinner in Detroit at some point in conjunction.

That would be great!

[Lathum]

Great to hear!!

[PilotMan]

Man this is so good to hear. I love it. Congrats! Very, very happy for you!

[JAG]

Congratulations on your marriage. Glad to hear you have had a good share of happiness in recent years.

[NobodyHere]

My son is up at Bowling Green,

I'm very sorry to hear that :(

[BYU 14]

Great news and amazing where the road takes us sometimes, congrats!

[JPhillips]

That's great. Congrats to all of you.

[Edward64]

Congrats on life getting good!

[MIJB#19]

That's awesome, H_B!

[cartman]

woot!

[Warhammer]

Great news, hopefully all the WWT career people didn't annoy you in New Orleans.

[Subby]

Wow. The pace of life is fucking unbelievable, isn't it?

I have absolutely nothing to contribute to this other than to say I could not be happier for you. Your strength is inspiring not just to me, but I am assuming to a ton of other folks out there.