Flasch186
03-04-2018, 11:10 AM
So I live on a cul-de-sac and it's a new community so we've all been here around the same amount of time. All around the same age, all pretty milquetoast and all homogenized. But fuck, drama.
So fairly early in the accommodations James the hairdresser decides to literally flex his muscles all the time with going shirtless, tank tops, etc. Now he's a big dude, fit and it sucks for us unfit dudes on the street to have to see this shit because God damnit I don't want to work out and don't need all the ladies drooling over that and then looking over at the rest of us sighing.
Well fast forward to a few years ago and a fourth of July party in the sac wherein JtH, bringing months of tension with him, decides to make comments pissing off all of the ladies in declaring that he's the man of the house, where he and Susie the widow live. StW's first husband killed himself after his ponzie scheme blew up. She walked with a nice life insurance policy and parents to help.
JtH was abusive for the most part. Everyone knew. Physically towards her and verbally but on this day, this fourth of July, the shit hit the fan.
As JtH stomped away Tara the loon stomped towards her house which is across the street from JtH's house, chirping in his ear the whole way. JtH turned towards her and took a few steps towards her and TtL isn't one to bank down so she took some steps towards him. JtH backed down and went inside his house.
A few seconds later his garage door started to lift up and his white corvette convertible started to back out revving the engine purposefully loud. It just so happened that at that moment Jameel's daughter Eva was walking down the street and JtH's vette came closer, but not too close, to JdE. It was enough to say off the tinderbox. Jameel, who is Arabic and had a big family, starts to walk towards JtH and TtL. JtH ushers eva down the street and steps up to JtH and shit goes down.
It's a morass of punches and kicks and it flows through the cul-de-sac. Jameel's brother Andy eats it into Gordon the Chinaman's black aluminum fence, bending a rail. All the while there's JtH versus six of JtA's family including his cousin Susie who can throw.
At one point JtH is sitting on GtC's driveway next JtA's house nursing What looked like a knee injury. While Jameel's family walked into Jameel's house using what can only be described as we're on the verge of killing you looks, and I'm trying to use mental jiu jitsu to keep James from getting up, James throws out the Trump like, "go back to your own land sand Niger's. You think you own this land!"
Luckily it didn't set it off again but it wouldn't allow this to ever be put away as a drink forth of July thing to be laughed about in the future.
Fast forward to about six months ago and JtH and StW are in a tiff wherein James is staying somewhere else and they've put their home on the market. They're not getting any showings and they didn't use us to help still it cuz well it's awkward. The one showing they do apparently get is JtH's other girlfriend he's been lying to. She wants to see what's up and in the home are pictures of J&S together, wedding photos (they never really got married), etc.
A few weeks later he's back. Perhaps they've worked it out. One week later, while StW is at work, JtH brings over a moving truck and takes everything (apparently including the bank account).
Then the election hits... TtL is a huge HRC fan, she's letting everyone know. Every chance she gets its the topic of choice. Everything's good. Lots of driveway sitting. Lots of pizza deliveries. Then the day after the election TtL decides to not leave the house. Ever. Well not ever but kids to school and that's about it. Her husband Frank is normal and comes out occasionally to shoot the shit but TtL ain't coming out. However when it comes time to push her mlm she invited everyone over. So weird.
Paula from Texas and her husband Joe recently moved in up the street and while a bit gruff they seem cool. We slowly start chit chatting but then things feel awkward after a while. Come to find out, Caroline the southern belle basically intercepted her and gave her the negative lowdown on everyone. All this while selling the rest of us on how PfT didn't like anyone and talked shit about everyone. Apparently CtSB wanted Paula all to herself. This was learned because when Jameel's wife Darine said she wanted to talk to PfT and CtSB freaked out. PfT and JwD worked it out and CtSB is on the outs.
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So fairly early in the accommodations James the hairdresser decides to literally flex his muscles all the time with going shirtless, tank tops, etc. Now he's a big dude, fit and it sucks for us unfit dudes on the street to have to see this shit because God damnit I don't want to work out and don't need all the ladies drooling over that and then looking over at the rest of us sighing.
Well fast forward to a few years ago and a fourth of July party in the sac wherein JtH, bringing months of tension with him, decides to make comments pissing off all of the ladies in declaring that he's the man of the house, where he and Susie the widow live. StW's first husband killed himself after his ponzie scheme blew up. She walked with a nice life insurance policy and parents to help.
JtH was abusive for the most part. Everyone knew. Physically towards her and verbally but on this day, this fourth of July, the shit hit the fan.
As JtH stomped away Tara the loon stomped towards her house which is across the street from JtH's house, chirping in his ear the whole way. JtH turned towards her and took a few steps towards her and TtL isn't one to bank down so she took some steps towards him. JtH backed down and went inside his house.
A few seconds later his garage door started to lift up and his white corvette convertible started to back out revving the engine purposefully loud. It just so happened that at that moment Jameel's daughter Eva was walking down the street and JtH's vette came closer, but not too close, to JdE. It was enough to say off the tinderbox. Jameel, who is Arabic and had a big family, starts to walk towards JtH and TtL. JtH ushers eva down the street and steps up to JtH and shit goes down.
It's a morass of punches and kicks and it flows through the cul-de-sac. Jameel's brother Andy eats it into Gordon the Chinaman's black aluminum fence, bending a rail. All the while there's JtH versus six of JtA's family including his cousin Susie who can throw.
At one point JtH is sitting on GtC's driveway next JtA's house nursing What looked like a knee injury. While Jameel's family walked into Jameel's house using what can only be described as we're on the verge of killing you looks, and I'm trying to use mental jiu jitsu to keep James from getting up, James throws out the Trump like, "go back to your own land sand Niger's. You think you own this land!"
Luckily it didn't set it off again but it wouldn't allow this to ever be put away as a drink forth of July thing to be laughed about in the future.
Fast forward to about six months ago and JtH and StW are in a tiff wherein James is staying somewhere else and they've put their home on the market. They're not getting any showings and they didn't use us to help still it cuz well it's awkward. The one showing they do apparently get is JtH's other girlfriend he's been lying to. She wants to see what's up and in the home are pictures of J&S together, wedding photos (they never really got married), etc.
A few weeks later he's back. Perhaps they've worked it out. One week later, while StW is at work, JtH brings over a moving truck and takes everything (apparently including the bank account).
Then the election hits... TtL is a huge HRC fan, she's letting everyone know. Every chance she gets its the topic of choice. Everything's good. Lots of driveway sitting. Lots of pizza deliveries. Then the day after the election TtL decides to not leave the house. Ever. Well not ever but kids to school and that's about it. Her husband Frank is normal and comes out occasionally to shoot the shit but TtL ain't coming out. However when it comes time to push her mlm she invited everyone over. So weird.
Paula from Texas and her husband Joe recently moved in up the street and while a bit gruff they seem cool. We slowly start chit chatting but then things feel awkward after a while. Come to find out, Caroline the southern belle basically intercepted her and gave her the negative lowdown on everyone. All this while selling the rest of us on how PfT didn't like anyone and talked shit about everyone. Apparently CtSB wanted Paula all to herself. This was learned because when Jameel's wife Darine said she wanted to talk to PfT and CtSB freaked out. PfT and JwD worked it out and CtSB is on the outs.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk