Top 10 Rejected Valentine Cards
 

10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.

9. Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store.
In hopes that later, you'd be my wh*re.

7. This feels so good, it feels so right
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.

6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
Especially when I'm spanking your big, round, fat ass.

5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished
But now I'm fulfilled... so make me a sandwich!!!

4. Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown... but so has your ass.

3. You're a honey, you're a cutie
I just wish you had J.Lo's booty.

2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!

1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister
You should check out the one that I gave to your sister

Mental note: find one of those create-a-card machines.

7, 6, 4 and 3 I could never say because it would end in a 3 hour conversation about wether her ass was too big, too small or if she was worth more than $250.

Fortunately, I knock out Valentine's and my anniversary on the same day.

I rule.

Same for me, starting next year, as I'm getting married on Valentine's Day this year.

Urrrgh.

You rule.

That's awesome. If only she was born on Valentine's Day, you'd only have to remember one day a year ;)

SI

Close enough. She was born on the 7th.

I'm so envious of you guys who knock out Valentine's Day and the Anniversary on the same day ;) My anniversary is May 2nd and is not nearly close enough to justify any sort of joint gift.

LOL Those are awesome!:D

March 13th has to be close enough for one gift, right?

Why don't you go ahead and try that. Be sure to write us a detailed report of how it went :D

First came love,
then the tears.
You shot her dead,
Got 20 years…

Your brand new bride,
Is truly a dream…
In 10th grade she did
The whole football team!