Sheryl Crow new 'green' ideas.......

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Here's her 'green' ideas quoted in the Washington Post:

Crow (4/19, Springfield, Tenn.): I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.

Crow (4/19): I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the height of wastefulness. I have designed a clothing line that has what's called a "dining sleeve." The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve," after usage. The design will offer the "diner" the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product. I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold.

Crow (4/19): This next idea I have been saving but I will share it with you if you promise not to steal it. It is my latest, very exciting idea for creating incentive for us all to minimize our own personal carbon footprints. It's a reality show. (I feel pretty certain NO ONE has thought of this yet!) Here is the premise: the contest consists of 10 people who are competing for the top spot as the person who lives the "greenest" life. This will be reflected in the contestant's home, his business, and his own personal living style. The winner of this challenging, prestigious, contest would receive what??. . . . a recording contract!!!!!

[JonInMiddleGA]

[albionmoonlight]

I just learned two things.

(1) Lance Armstrong must have gotten medical marijuana as part of his cancer treatment.

(2) Lance Armstrong probably didn't have a lock on his medicine cabinet when he was dating Sheryl Crow.

[Maple Leafs]

The sad thing is, after her cover of "Sweet Child O' Mine", none of these are even the dumbest ideas she's ever had.

[spleen1015]

I don't think the people who I'm around every day would appreciate it if I only used one sheet per sitting.

[Mateo]

She must be a wadder. My wife is a wadder. Bitch plugs the toilet every time she drops masa in the toilet.

[Dr. Sak]

Originally Posted by albionmoonlight

I just learned two things.

(1) Lance Armstrong must have gotten medical marijuana as part of his cancer treatment.

(2) Lance Armstrong probably didn't have a lock on his medicine cabinet when he was dating Sheryl Crow.

I'd like to add one more...

(3) Lance Armstrong never went down on Sheryl while they were married/dating.

[Desnudo]

[Subby]

I don't really have a problem with people brainstorming about ways to better the environment. That's all she is doing here.

Idea about the sleeve aside, her point about the wastefulness of paper napkins is a fairly valid one.

[Drake]

I love her obsession with everyone else's carbon footprints. I have no doubt that Cheryl Crow and her career consume more energy resources and generate more pollution in any given month than I will use in my entire lifetime.

[DanGarion]

Unfortunately some people need to use more then "one" square of toilet paper.

I don't understand why people don't just realize the ultimate solution to this whole global warming thing.

There are too many people on the Earth. If population control was in affect worldwide it would solve this entire issue. This is an easier fix then all the crap they are proposing for us to do. If population decreases then pollution decreases, it's that simple. This is something I've believed for the last 10 years even since my college Bio class that my teacher talked about it.

[DanGarion]

Originally Posted by Drake

I love her obsession with everyone else's carbon footprints. I have no doubt that Cheryl Crow and her career consume more energy resources and generate more pollution in any given month than I will use in my entire lifetime.

Dola.

Smoking gun article about her tour.

hxxp://www.thesmokinggun.com/backstagetour/scrow/scrow1.html

[st.cronin]

I want to hear Sheryl Crow sing "Pass the Courvosier."

[Lathum]

Obviously Sheryl Crow's ass isn't as hairy as mine.

[Drake]

The solution to global warming is universal brazilian waxes.

[Fonzie]

Is this what made Karl Rove so pissy toward her the other day? The thought of using just one square?

I'm sure Karl's a half-a-roll kinda guy. He probably takes donkey dumps.

[Butter]

Originally Posted by Subby

I don't really have a problem with people brainstorming about ways to better the environment. That's all she is doing here.

Idea about the sleeve aside, her point about the wastefulness of paper napkins is a fairly valid one.

Once people look at the 1 square and detachable sleeve ideas, though, they're pretty much going to dismiss anything else she says out of hand. But as far as the 1 square thing goes, I assume she means for women only who are... well, you know.

[st.cronin]

Originally Posted by Drake

The solution to global warming is universal brazilian waxes.

Intriguing.

[st.cronin]

Seriously, what is "virgin wood?"

[Drake]

Every waking morning of high school.

[JediKooter]

Sheryl Crow can reduce her carbon footprint by hacking off an arm or a leg...

[Pyser]

fascinating crow hate.

i dont see what the big deal is. she has ideas she thinks will help the earth. good for her.

[flounder]

I think the problem is that she has ideas for everyone else that will help the world, while doing nothing to significantly limit her own consumption. Similar to the people in this NY Times article.

[JasonC23]

Originally Posted by Maple Leafs

The sad thing is, after her cover of "Sweet Child O' Mine", none of these are even the dumbest ideas she's ever had.

Dammit, now her version is stuck in my head! You, sir, are an evil, evil man.

[Desnudo]

Originally Posted by Pyser

fascinating crow hate.

i dont see what the big deal is. she has ideas she thinks will help the earth. good for her.

She has ideas that will have negligible impact. Plus, talk the talk or walk the walk? I'd like to see her out and about with a disposable sleeve wipe shirt.

[Ksyrup]

Originally Posted by Butter_of_69

Once people look at the 1 square and detachable sleeve ideas, though, they're pretty much going to dismiss anything else she says out of hand.

Exactly. My first thought was to check whether this came from the same April Fool's joke site that the FNM reuniting article came from.

[DanGarion]

Originally Posted by Pyser

fascinating crow hate.

i dont see what the big deal is. she has ideas she thinks will help the earth. good for her.

i think the problem is that these ideas are about at the level of a 1st grader.

[SFL Cat]

Originally Posted by Pyser

fascinating crow hate.

i dont see what the big deal is. she has ideas she thinks will help the earth. good for her.

She is a fascinating carbon footprint hypocrite.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Originally Posted by dangarion

i think the problem is that these ideas are about at the level of a 1st grader.

Exactly. I had this idea to start pooping in the backyard to save the gallon of water I use to flush every time I head into the bathroom. While it would save a gallon of water, the practicality of it is not very good.

[st.cronin]

Originally Posted by Mizzou B-ball fan

Exactly. I had this idea to start pooping in the backyard to save the gallon of water I use to flush every time I head into the bathroom. While it would save a gallon of water, the practicality of it is not very good.

What do you mean, not practical? That sounds like a great idea!

[bulletsponge]

Originally Posted by st.cronin

What do you mean, not practical? That sounds like a great idea!

i take leaks in my backyard. i can see taking a huge dump back there too. but ill need way more than 1 square of TP to clean up

[Drake]

It's even more practical to poop in your neighbor's back yard. Then there's no clean up at all.

[Dr. Sak]

Originally Posted by bulletsponge

i take leaks in my backyard. i can see taking a huge dump back there too. but ill need way more than 1 square of TP to clean up

Drag your ass on the ground like a dog...BINGO problem solved.

[Ksyrup]

I tried shitting in my backyard. Next thing I know, a bunch of fruity environmentalists were picketing my yard and chanting something about how I was killing the virgin leaves I used to wipe my ass.

[flere-imsaho]

Originally Posted by Drake

I love her obsession with everyone else's carbon footprints. I have no doubt that Cheryl Crow and her career consume more energy resources and generate more pollution in any given month than I will use in my entire lifetime.

That was my first thought. If she wants to make an actual, measurable impact, then stop touring, for even a year, and do "shows" via webcast instead. The carbon emissions she'll save on cutting her plane travel alone (especially charters, I'm assuming), should be quite measurable, to say nothing of the transport of her equipment.

Originally Posted by Butter_of_69

But as far as the 1 square thing goes, I assume she means for women only who are... well, you know.

Given that she's so thin, I'm assuming she eats maybe once a day, and thus poops maybe what, once a day as well?

[Desnudo]

Originally Posted by flere-imsaho

That was my first thought. If she wants to make an actual, measurable impact, then stop touring, for even a year, and do "shows" via webcast instead. The carbon emissions she'll save on cutting her plane travel alone (especially charters, I'm assuming), should be quite measurable, to say nothing of the transport of her equipment.



Given that she's so thin, I'm assuming she eats maybe once a day, and thus poops maybe what, once a day as well?

She could also reduce her carbon dioxide emissions by recording one show and just replaying it over and over

[Ksyrup]

Originally Posted by Desnudo

She could also reduce her carbon dioxide emissions by recording one show and just replaying it over and over

She's already done with that with her recorded material, so it should translate well to her live show.

[Antmeister]

I don't like this idea of the 3 square maximum to every ass.

[MikeVic]

Originally Posted by Antmeister

I don't like this idea of the 3 square maximum to every ass.

I think she's saying that 3 is TOO MUCH. She better be referring to women taking a piss. There's no way I can only use 1, or even 3 sheets after doing my business.

[Bonegavel]

Originally Posted by Antmeister

I don't like this idea of the 3 square maximum to every ass.

What I'd like to know is... who would be policing this?

[EagleFan]

Originally Posted by Bonegavel

What I'd like to know is... who would be policing this?

Dustin Diamond?

[MJ4H]

I love Sheryl Crow

[Maple Leafs]

Originally Posted by EagleFan

Dustin Diamond?

To bring this full circle, Dustin Diamond's backstage rider from thesmokinggun is probably the best thing I've read in weeks.

[Antmeister]

Originally Posted by Bonegavel

What I'd like to know is... who would be policing this?

No one will be policing it. Just imagine automatic tissue dispensers that activate when you ass hits the toilet. Then when you finish your business, it automatically spits out 3 sheets and not a sheet more. That is just wrong.

[SFL Cat]

Somebody needs to actually invent those shell things from "Demolition Man."

[path12]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

I tried shitting in my backyard. Next thing I know, a bunch of fruity environmentalists were picketing my yard and chanting something about how I was killing the virgin leaves I used to wipe my ass.

Are you sure they just weren't warning you about the nettles?

[JeeberD]

Originally Posted by Mizzou B-ball fan

Crow (4/19): I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the height of wastefulness. I have designed a clothing line that has what's called a "dining sleeve." The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve," after usage. The design will offer the "diner" the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product. I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold.

OMG, CLOTH napkins! Why hasn't anyone ever thought of that before?!?!?!?!

[M GO BLUE!!!]

I'm actually surprised she never considered the hankerchief as an alternative (to paper napkis.) I use mine for everything (except wiping my ass... for that I use a little paper and the wet cotonell wipes... if you're a harry-ass type, they will save you.)

Oh, and the best ever explanation of wiping your hairy ass came from Adam Corola... He said "It's like trying to get peanut butter out of a shag carpet."

Thank you, and good night.

[Ksyrup]

Originally Posted by Maple Leafs

To bring this full circle, Dustin Diamond's backstage rider from thesmokinggun is probably the best thing I've read in weeks.

How would someone who should never see a stage have a backstage rider? Seriously, what kind of performing does he do? I'm imagining some sort of poor man's Tom Green act, at best.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

I'm imagining some sort of poor man's Tom Green act, at best.

Worse. A poor man's Bob Saget.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dustin_Diamond
Diamond has performed stand-up comedy for many years. His comic style is very reminiscent to that of Bob Saget, referencing his sitcom years as well as using very blue humor in his stage act. He has met with some controversy regarding the authenticity of his joke-writing.[citation needed] Diamond's stand-up has been treated with scorn by many in the stand-up community, who have created "anti-Screech" websites, such as screechsucks.com.

Diamond is known for unreliability, and has failed to show up for scheduled stand-up comedy performances without giving any advance warning.

There has been a great deal of anger circulating around the net that Diamond's material is notoriously unfunny. Many people claim that much of his material is poorly written and uninspired, observations like "Pot makes you hungry" and "When you're in the bathroom, there's no toilet paper and the water in the bowl splashes up at your ass." Juvenile scatological humor and attacks about his old sitcom co-stars like "Zack and Slater were gay." To make matters worse, many people have charged Diamond with stealing material from other comedians. One comedian claims that after he had worked with Diamond, he later saw him using his joke on TV.