A question for the WW community

[oliegirl]

I really hate to create more drama here, Radii did enough of that in his thread on OT. However, I also don't want to stay where I am not wanted. So I'm posing this to the ww community...is it OK with you if I stay and continue to play?

I have talked to radii privately and told him I will not post on OT anymore. I am not happy about what he did, what happened in our marriage and after it is private. And as I said, we ALL have things in our past we are not proud of. He told his side of the story though, and every story has two sides. This is not the place to tell my side, because, quite frankly, it's no one's business. I'm a good person, a good mother, a good wife, and a good friend. The people who know me in real life know that. And the people in my life who know the whole story all have stood by me through it all and are still my friends today. He painted a very negative picture of me though, and I will totally understand if you don't want me around. So, whatever you decide I will abide by.

[claphamsa]

i dont know who randi is, but i cant imagine what he woudl say to make me not want you to play

[Lathum]

OK, edited after reaDING the thread.

I agree with Alan's post.

[st.cronin]

Does it matter what Radii thinks? Cause I think I know what he would say...

My opinion is that there's no reason as far as I'm concerned why you shouldn't post here. I do suspect that it might be healthier for you if you didn't visit this board at all.

[Alan T]

Olie,

I have read the OT thread, and I am friends with both you and Radii. I have been friends with Radii for longer, and value his contributions to the various online sim leagues I have been in with him. I have also enjoyed playing in WW games with you.

Having been someone who was divorced in the past, and experienced what it means to split up your life, your posessions, your money, kids, friends, and even online communities I feel I can somewhat relate to the situation that you and Radii find yourselves in. As I am not blameless in my life, I try to not worry about taking the responsibility to figure out who is right or wrong in personal situations.

I think I can sympathize with radii's frustration and why he would want to post what he did after the few years are past, but on the other hand I also feel the resolution of such issues should be handled in private. I honestly don't think it is my place or really anyone else's place to say if you should or shouldn't post here or OT or wherever. I think that is solely a decision between you and Radii how to handle it.

If you do decide to move on, then I would like to say I enjoyed the time playing with you and hope you are able to get everything resolved in your lives. If you do decide to stay then I am sure we'll have fun playing in more games together in the future. Either way though, the choice isn't really one that I should have any part in deciding however.

[st.cronin]

Originally Posted by Alan T

Olie,

I have read the OT thread, and I am friends with both you and Radii. I have been friends with Radii for longer, and value his contributions to the various online sim leagues I have been in with him. I have also enjoyed playing in WW games with you.

Having been someone who was divorced in the past, and experienced what it means to split up your life, your posessions, your money, kids, friends, and even online communities I feel I can somewhat relate to the situation that you and Radii find yourselves in. As I am not blameless in my life, I try to not worry about taking the responsibility to figure out who is right or wrong in personal situations.

I think I can sympathize with radii's frustration and why he would want to post what he did after the few years are past, but on the other hand I also feel the resolution of such issues should be handled in private. I honestly don't think it is my place or really anyone else's place to say if you should or shouldn't post here or OT or wherever. I think that is solely a decision between you and Radii how to handle it.

If you do decide to move on, then I would like to say I enjoyed the time playing with you and hope you are able to get everything resolved in your lives. If you do decide to stay then I am sure we'll have fun playing in more games together in the future. Either way though, the choice isn't really one that I should have any part in deciding however.

Well put and I agree with this.

[claphamsa]

I have lots of oppinions now, after reading... but ill follow RendeRs advice, and keep them to myself!

[RendeR]

Much appreciate Clap. As Alan put so very well, its not our place to vocalize anything about your private life Olie. WW is a game. Not an important part of life. Simple entertainment. If you continue to play I will continue to enjoy your company. If you choose to move on, then I wish you the best and hope all this crap falls behind both you and Radii as quickly as possible.

[EagleFan]

I'll change that to, "what Alan said".

[hoopsguy]

Olie, I've got a couple of thoughts on this since you asked:

1.) I would expect that your participation here would basically guarantee that a number of people will never play a game of WW
2.) I would think that if you continue to play that you might find yourself having to deal with the aftershocks of the "Awkward 2008" thread, in ways both direct and indirect

This isn't a matter of picking sides; if you want that kind of feedback, then send me a PM. This is just responding to what I think is likely to happen if you do continue playing WW.

[Tyrith]

Hoops's analysis of the situation seems astute.

[st.cronin]

Hoops 2nd point is I think especially astute.

[Barkeep49]

Originally Posted by hoopsguy

Olie, I've got a couple of thoughts on this since you asked:

1.) I would expect that your participation here would basically guarantee that a number of people will never play a game of WW
2.) I would think that if you continue to play that you might find yourself having to deal with the aftershocks of the "Awkward 2008" thread, in ways both direct and indirect

This isn't a matter of picking sides; if you want that kind of feedback, then send me a PM. This is just responding to what I think is likely to happen if you do continue playing WW.

I think there's a lot of truth to this. I think what hoops said is even more true than it was with Blade, in terms of people not giving WW a chance.

That said, there's a whole lot of stuff going on here. olie has never done anything wrong in WW, nor has there been, to my knowledge, a hint of her doing anything wrong. The easy answer for for those of us here is for her to go away, but that seems kind of callous, frankly. It's clear that olie really likes the community here. I really like the community we have here. This community is what keeps me coming back. I don't really hang out on internet message boards, but this one is different, at least it is for me. I think excommunicating her in this situation, is wrong.

To be real honest, I have no sympathy for olie, beyond general sympathy for someone who has had to go through a divorce, and a whole hell of a lot of sympathy for Radii. But olie has been an active, and during CR's game, helpful member of our community. If she wants to stay, and I certainly understand why she would, I would welcome her into any game of mine, and look forward to playing with her in the future.

~BK, Your Friendly Werewolf Moderator

[claphamsa]

Originally Posted by hoopsguy

Olie, I've got a couple of thoughts on this since you asked:

1.) I would expect that your participation here would basically guarantee that a number of people will never play a game of WW
2.) I would think that if you continue to play that you might find yourself having to deal with the aftershocks of the "Awkward 2008" thread, in ways both direct and indirect

This isn't a matter of picking sides; if you want that kind of feedback, then send me a PM. This is just responding to what I think is likely to happen if you do continue playing WW.

I dont get this.... its not liek blad/bek, where there was cheating....

even if everythign is 100% true.... its WW, She coudl be eating babies for all i care. its a game!

[Tyrith]

The reality of it is that the game cannot be removed from the larger social community, for good or ill. We deceive ourselves if we believe that we can live in a Werewolf bubble and shrug off the effects of what has happened. There could be consequences, so we must as least ponder.

[EagleFan]

Originally Posted by Tyrith

The reality of it is that the game cannot be removed from the larger social community, for good or ill. We deceive ourselves if we believe that we can live in a Werewolf bubble and shrug off the effects of what has happened. There could be consequences, so we must as least ponder.

True. It opens the door for people believing that she is capable of some very bad acts in real life so what would stop hr in WW. Once confidence in the integrity of the game is lost it casts a shadow on everything that happens in game.


Oh, and since I see PB is in the thread... vote PB

[Tyrith]

Furthermore, the WW board is part of a larger community, and many WW players are greatly involved in that community -- there were several that were active participants in the thread that brought this situation to the fore. People are not robots; typically people cannot totally separate their other interactions with a person from what goes on in the game context. We must at least consider the potential animosity that could affect many parties as a result of this.

[hoopsguy]

Clap, I 100% agree that it is different from Blade/Bek. As BK noted, there has never been a reason to question Olie's standing in the WW community. I think people enjoy playing with her.

My main point was to bring up some concerns that had not been discussed in this thread. #1 is related to bringing in new players, or being attractive to some players who have played WW in the past that may return at some point. Face it, there is a need for fresh faces to come into the fold in order to keep the game exciting for everyone involved. #2 is related to the current group, who get to make their own decisions on how to react to what has been posted on the board.

I'll keep my own feelings on the issue to myself, or share them with Olie if she cares to PM me about this. But I don't think we are doing her a favor by saying "everything is cool, carry on like nothing happened" when people obviously are going to process the "Awkward 2008" thread in a way that makes sense with their own internal code.

Face it, this is a male-dominated message board and this dispute involves a divorce between two members, with a decent amount of "he said, she said". Do you think that doesn't factor into people's though process? If it doesn't, then color me surprised.

Radii is a long-time poster with a lot of friends in the community. By all accounts, he is a good guy. Many people are going to pick sides on this. That is likely to manifest itself into games. That was my point. So saying "it's all cool" is probably a little bit naive.

[claphamsa]

fair enough

[claphamsa]

I guess letting Olie keep playing might keep some away. and that sucks.... but the only ones that it would keep away are the ones that are around know and know about this, and let it bother them. dont see that being too many

you all knwo what i think, ill move on.

[oliegirl]

I appreciate the replies everyone, and I especially appreciate your honesty and your willingness to let me stay. And I am going to stay. However, I am going to take a break...I think it would be best to let things die down before I try to play in a game.

This has turned into a "he said, she said" thing - more of a "she said" than anything, and I could change that, but I'm not going to - because it's not worth it, and because I've moved on. I really do enjoy playing here, and hate to back out of a game, but I think it's for the best right now. For me and for the community as well.

So I'm going to PM Jackal and back out of his game, and I am fairly sure SL will be backing out too. He's very upset at what's gone on the past few days and at my recommendation he's stayed away from the board this weekend. I'll keep an eye on the games, you'll probably see me lurking around and keeping up...not sure how long I'll sit on the sidelines, but when I do return, I really hope everyone can put this in the past, where it belongs and where it should have stayed.

And if anyone ever has a problem with me playing in a future game, or even one person says "if Olie is going to play then I won't", I'll back out that game. The last thing I want to do is make anyone uncomfortable or feel that I am casting a dark light on the game/community.

[Lathum]

I'm not sure I would want to play in a game with the kind of people who wouldn't play just because Olie was playing.

The people who are Radii's "long time friends" around here who have strong anti-olie feelings toward this have had 3+ years to join a WW game and haven't. I don't think we need to worry about a drop in new WW players because of this.

[Racer]

Originally Posted by Alan T

Olie,
I think I can sympathize with radii's frustration and why he would want to post what he did after the few years are past, but on the other hand I also feel the resolution of such issues should be handled in private. I honestly don't think it is my place or really anyone else's place to say if you should or shouldn't post here or OT or wherever. I think that is solely a decision between you and Radii how to handle it.

If you do decide to move on, then I would like to say I enjoyed the time playing with you and hope you are able to get everything resolved in your lives. If you do decide to stay then I am sure we'll have fun playing in more games together in the future. Either way though, the choice isn't really one that I should have any part in deciding however.

I don't play werewolf that often and Oliegirl already made her decision, but this sums up how I feel about the whole thing.

[claphamsa]

Originally Posted by Lathum

I'm not sure I would want to play in a game with the kind of people who wouldn't play just because Olie was playing.

The people who are Radii's "long time friends" around here who have strong anti-olie feelings toward this have had 3+ years to join a WW game and haven't. I don't think we need to worry about a drop in new WW players because of this.

as usualy lathum says it better :P

[EagleFan]

Originally Posted by claphamsa

as usualy lathum says it better :P

...and with fewer typos...

Sorry, just trying to lighten up an already gloomy thread and what seems to have been a gloomy weekend around here.

Going to update the Season Prediction thread soon, and post another week if we are that far; if anyone is interested (hint, hint...)

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by EagleFan

...and with fewer typos...

Actually, I think Lathum the Mispeller is as notorious for his typos as clap. The difference is he doesn't seem to feel any guilt or remorse over it.

[path12]

Being late to the whole situation, I'll just say that I'm fine with Olie's decision and that I generally agree with what Alan and RendeR have said.

[Schmidty]

As far as my opinion, I'm not going to saying anything because I always go overboard, but I am wondering if it's feasible to play WW with ignored players. *cough*Render*cough*.

Seriously though, I agree with hoops that this will definitely cause people to not play in certain games now, which is unfortunate.

[st.cronin]

Originally Posted by Barkeep49

I think there's a lot of truth to this. I think what hoops said is even more true than it was with Blade, in terms of people not giving WW a chance.

That said, there's a whole lot of stuff going on here. olie has never done anything wrong in WW, nor has there been, to my knowledge, a hint of her doing anything wrong. The easy answer for for those of us here is for her to go away, but that seems kind of callous, frankly. It's clear that olie really likes the community here. I really like the community we have here. This community is what keeps me coming back. I don't really hang out on internet message boards, but this one is different, at least it is for me. I think excommunicating her in this situation, is wrong.

To be real honest, I have no sympathy for olie, beyond general sympathy for someone who has had to go through a divorce, and a whole hell of a lot of sympathy for Radii. But olie has been an active, and during CR's game, helpful member of our community. If she wants to stay, and I certainly understand why she would, I would welcome her into any game of mine, and look forward to playing with her in the future.

~BK, Your Friendly Werewolf Moderator

I am once again struck by how wise Barkeep49 is, and how lucky we are to have him.

[Subby]

Originally Posted by oliegirl

I have talked to radii privately and told him I will not post on OT anymore. I am not happy about what he did, what happened in our marriage and after it is private.

I think it is beneficial to the community to know there is an identity thief in their midst.

Just be happy that radii is an exceedingly good person - there have been a number of people who have been pushing for over a year for him to press criminal charges against you. Him "going public" is probably a lot less than you deserve for all of the horrible shit you put him through.

[jeheinz72]

I honestly don't know what to make of this. My motherboard only came with the wise-crack module, not the take shit seriously one.

[PackerFanatic]

Originally Posted by jeheinz72

I honestly don't know what to make of this. My motherboard only came with the wise-crack module, not the take shit seriously one.

+1

[duckman]

Originally Posted by Subby

I think it is beneficial to the community to know there is an identity thief in their midst.

Just be happy that radii is an exceedingly good person - there have been a number of people who have been pushing for over a year for him to press criminal charges against you. Him "going public" is probably a lot less than you deserve for all of the horrible shit you put him through.

+1

[claphamsa]

I love how we are atracting non WW trolls now.....

[The Jackal]

why is this thread still unlocked, any further discussion isn't going to do anything positive

[claphamsa]

Originally Posted by The Jackal

why is this thread still unlocked, any further discussion isn't going to do anything positive

+1

[jeheinz72]

I like cheese.

[The Jackal]

Originally Posted by jeheinz72

I like cheese.

Me llamo .. Detective Carlton Lassiter.

Me gusta queso.

[QuikSand]

I think that's enough here, too.