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[Groundhog]

Nice post CR.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by MikeVic

She's screwing around with you already! Call off the date.

Big time major +1. If I could find a big, huge emoticon to express the emphatic size of this +1, I would post it. She doesn't deserve the right to fuck with you, dude. Get angry. Get cold. Don't let her talk at you about things you need to change, and don't take the sometimes cool, sometimes cold shoulder bit. That's a trick girls play on men to string them along. Don't let her have control. And don't go on that date.

You don't need to change. You're fine the way you are. Don't forget that.

[Mustang]

You need to uninstall the girlfriend program (with fiancee expansion pack) from your mental hard drive and install the 'Do What the Fuck I Want' program. Find some freeware firewall software that blocks out any control from remnants of the girlfriend program. You could optionally tweak it to allow blowjob packets through, just make sure you don't give it full access again.

Oh and +1 to CR. What she is doing is not normal so, make sure you don't get twisted up in all these games.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

oooh i like that advice CR!!!

if the economy wasn't in the pooper i'd burn the coat that i bought while i was on the phone with the bitch, since she was such a fan of "the sexy coat" as she called it.

unfortunately it's my only "classy" winter coat

Funny, you should mention this, DT. I don't recall if I responded in your thread (either of them, weren't there two?), but I had much the same thoughts there. Obviously, it's all in the past now, so it might or might not do you any good. But FWIW, I was reading along through your ordeal, and I really felt for what you were going through. And you're a Boston fan, and a Dem, I believe, so that's really, really hard for me to do.

[Izulde]

I wouldn't get rid of stuff personally.

Now, put it away some place where you're not going to look at it, sure.

But it'll be nice to have the things to have a good chuckle over later on down the line.

[RainMaker]

Originally Posted by WVUFAN

But why? Why would she agree to go out on a date then say that. I don't even know what to think about that.

Because she can. It's power. She has control over you and likes it in a way. At the same time, you're not a challenge to her. Girls like a challenge, what they can't have, and you're doing the opposite.

From the way she broke up with you, it sounds a lot like she is interested in someone else. Perhaps someone online that she's on the verge of meeting and the guilt of doing it made her break up with you. Breaking up in a letter when you haven't been having many problems is a tell-tale sign that she is hiding something from you. People do that when they can't face the other person because they are lying.

My advice and the advice of many here is to just stay away. Don't be a jerk, don't completely ignore her, just stop doing what you're doing. Be cordial when you see her but keep it completely business. No lunch dates, no dinner dates, no nothing. Just say hi in the hallway.

This seems impossible to do, but it's the easiest way to stop feeling the way you do. I'd also suggest looking for a new job. Sure it's a drastic step but sometimes it's best to just get the girl out of your life for good. Seeing her everyday will be tough, seeing her eventually get a boyfriend will be tougher. Clean break is the only way to go and like someone said, push the reset button and start over with your social life.

And not to judge her, but she doesn't sound like a great person. She had a kid and didn't tell the father it was his. She didn't have the respect to break up with you face to face. Then she takes you on a date and humiliates you. That shouldn't be the person you want to be with and in due time, you'll be greatful this happened. Many of us have been through us, heed our advice.

[RainMaker]

My history with these situations:

First girl I was with for 1 year. Broke up and was devestated. It was mutual but I wanted her back. Sat around pouting and hanging out with her. We fooled around on occasion, would fight, and repeat. She started seeing another guy and I was real jealous. Tried to remain friends with her but it was just impossible. I did this game for nearly 6 months with her and felt absolutely like crap for 6 months.

The other girl I learned my lesson. She dumped me and I cut all ties. I would say hi to her when passing at the bars but wouldn't stick around for conversation. I found that being real nice but not interested in being friends is the best way to handle it. She would get insanely jealous when I'd be around other girls. Even left me 10 voicemails one night when I went out of town and she didn't see me at the regular bars. Drove my self esteem through the roof and allowed me to get over it quickly.

Breaking up is kind of like a game. The one that can act like they are over it and happy with their life wins.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Flasch186

Y'know going to a bar striking up a conversation that leaves some college chick wondering somewhere, deep down inside, if you actually did once fight zombies would be awesome. You gotta be a really detail oriented story teller, say, "Just kidding." sometimes but than drop lines about it every now and then. Frickin awesome. Another game is to take 20 $1 bills and teach a girl how to play liars poker with them.

One time me and two friends went to a bar and found a spot nearby and started playing liars poker together and then got some girls to team up with us each, teaching them how to play the game etc....it was one of our best nights at the bar because we weren't 'prowling', were preoccupied and most importantly wearing our natural smiles that came from having a great time.

Sounds like that was good time. No pressure, no trying too hard, just being yourselves and enjoying the company of a couple of cuties.

Even better, WVU can pull the 'former Army' card to add to the believability. Start out, "Yea, it began shortly after we arrived in Iraq during the 1st Gulf War...Next thing we know, there's this aweful low moan coming out of one of the abandoned buildings..."

[RainMaker]

Originally Posted by Flasch186

Y'know going to a bar striking up a conversation that leaves some college chick wondering somewhere, deep down inside, if you actually did once fight zombies would be awesome. You gotta be a really detail oriented story teller, say, "Just kidding." sometimes but than drop lines about it every now and then. Frickin awesome. Another game is to take 20 $1 bills and teach a girl how to play liars poker with them.

One time me and two friends went to a bar and found a spot nearby and started playing liars poker together and then got some girls to team up with us each, teaching them how to play the game etc....it was one of our best nights at the bar because we weren't 'prowling', were preoccupied and most importantly wearing our natural smiles that came from having a great time.

Another fine game we called "Hoggin". You go out with a few friends and each put in $100 or so dollars. Not a small amount but something that would actually be awesome to win. Whoever takes home the fattest girl from the bar wins. I guarantee you that it'll be one of the funnest nights you have.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

Funny, you should mention this, DT. I don't recall if I responded in your thread (either of them, weren't there two?), but I had much the same thoughts there. Obviously, it's all in the past now, so it might or might not do you any good. But FWIW, I was reading along through your ordeal, and I really felt for what you were going through. And you're a Boston fan, and a Dem, I believe, so that's really, really hard for me to do.

i pretty much did do what you mentioned. the coat is the only remnant, and i mean that's something that i picked out myself and bought for myself, etc. but that she just happened to like.

i had a little crystal xmas ornament and a lil teddybear with a sack (with the ornament in it) that i hadn't given to her.

i pissed on the ornament, cut the teddybear's chest open and gutted it, stuffed the pissed-on ornament into the chest, smashed it with a hammer into smithereens, then took the guts and the teddybear out into the street and burned them in a metal trashcan

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

i pretty much did do what you mentioned. the coat is the only remnant, and i mean that's something that i picked out myself and bought for myself, etc. but that she just happened to like.

i had a little crystal xmas ornament and a lil teddybear with a sack (with the ornament in it) that i hadn't given to her.

i pissed on the ornament, cut the teddybear's chest open and gutted it, stuffed the pissed-on ornament into the chest, smashed it with a hammer into smithereens, then took the guts and the teddybear out into the street and burned them in a metal trashcan

Who needs to spend hundreds of dollars in therapy when a Christmas ornament, teddy bear, a hammer, and a few matches will do

SI

[DaddyTorgo]

lighter fluid too!

shit burned realllllllllllll good!!

and i got really drunk too...a couple times.

[Passacaglia]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

i pissed on the ornament, cut the teddybear's chest open and gutted it, stuffed the pissed-on ornament into the chest, smashed it with a hammer into smithereens, then took the guts and the teddybear out into the street and burned them in a metal trashcan

Wow. And people make fun of Fozzie just for punching a wall!

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

lighter fluid too!

shit burned realllllllllllll good!!

and i got really drunk too...a couple times.

Well, alcohol is pretty much assumed

SI

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by Passacaglia

Wow. And people make fun of Fozzie just for punching a wall!

hey - don't forget the trees!

but yes. viva my "anger management issues"

[Passacaglia]

Oh yeah, it was a tree. That is funnier than a wall, for sure. But using fire definitely trumps mere punching.

[molson]

Originally Posted by RainMaker

Another fine game we called "Hoggin". You go out with a few friends and each put in $100 or so dollars. Not a small amount but something that would actually be awesome to win. Whoever takes home the fattest girl from the bar wins. I guarantee you that it'll be one of the funnest nights you have.

I bet second place has never felt emptier.

[Crim]

Originally Posted by molson

I bet second place has never felt emptier.

awesome

[WVUFAN]

Update:

She hasn't shown up for work in the past week, so I (stupidly) went to her apartment to find out what's going on. It was there I had my words with her, really told her how I felt and how I hurt her. I was angry for the first time, and she got defensive, and it didn't end well. Any chance for a reconciliation is gone. I felt great for about 10 minutes afterwards, and now I feel like crap again, but everyone around me tells me this is for the best.

Someone told me that I didn't miss her as much as I miss the idea of having my own family. That might be true. I feel better than I have the past two weeks, but I think I should have just let it go and not confront her -- it didn't solve anything but make her cry.

[Lathum]

did she quit or something?

[sabotai]

Originally Posted by WVUFAN

Someone told me that I didn't miss her as much as I miss the idea of having my own family. That might be true.

I got that vibe when I read your original post. I think this is true for a lot of people, they just don't want to admit it.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

People get funny with breakups.

A friend of mine was complaining about his wife, saying she wasn't a good wife or mother. He was saying he would divorce her, but was afraid of losing his kids (boy 2, girl 1.) Two weeks later he's on the phone crying... He came home and she was waiting for him to tell him that she got married too young, was tired of being married and taking care of kids. She was leaving him for a friend of his (who was waiting outside in his car.) It was also his birthday. He now agrees with me that it was the best birthday gift he ever got.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

People get funny with breakups.

A friend of mine was complaining about his wife, saying she wasn't a good wife or mother. He was saying he would divorce her, but was afraid of losing his kids (boy 2, girl 1.) Two weeks later he's on the phone crying... He came home and she was waiting for him to tell him that she got married too young, was tired of being married and taking care of kids. She was leaving him for a friend of his (who was waiting outside in his car.) It was also his birthday. He now agrees with me that it was the best birthday gift he ever got.

ouch. that's fucking cold.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by WVUFAN

Update:

She hasn't shown up for work in the past week, so I (stupidly) went to her apartment to find out what's going on. It was there I had my words with her, really told her how I felt and how I hurt her. I was angry for the first time, and she got defensive, and it didn't end well. Any chance for a reconciliation is gone. I felt great for about 10 minutes afterwards, and now I feel like crap again, but everyone around me tells me this is for the best.

Someone told me that I didn't miss her as much as I miss the idea of having my own family. That might be true. I feel better than I have the past two weeks, but I think I should have just let it go and not confront her -- it didn't solve anything but make her cry.

yeah you probably shouldn't have gone to her apartment, but sometimes you have to test the waters yourself and realize that it's dead before you can accept it, so i totally understand that.

[WVUFAN]

Originally Posted by Lathum

did she quit or something?

She was fired on Thursday. My friends say that if she was just using me for my stability, she'll be calling as soon as she has her phone turned on (it's a new apartment) next week.

I'm pretty sure she's with our "friend", in which case he's certainly not a friend of mine anymore. I'm sad to see she has no job now, because the baby will be the one to suffer, but it makes going to work a little easier.

[Lorena]

Originally Posted by WVUFAN

She was fired on Thursday. My friends say that if she was just using me for my stability, she'll be calling as soon as she has her phone turned on (it's a new apartment) next week.

I'm pretty sure she's with our "friend", in which case he's certainly not a friend of mine anymore. I'm sad to see she has no job now, because the baby will be the one to suffer, but it makes going to work a little easier.

Yikes, sounds like karma smacked her pretty good.

[Noop]

I hope you don't plan on taking her back...

[WVUFAN]

Originally Posted by Noop

I hope you don't plan on taking her back...

I doubt she'll ask, but if she does, the answer will be no. I'll be tempted, simply because I still have feelings for her, but no.

[Poli]

Good man.

[ColtCrazy]

Originally Posted by WVUFAN

She was fired on Thursday. My friends say that if she was just using me for my stability, she'll be calling as soon as she has her phone turned on (it's a new apartment) next week.

I'm pretty sure she's with our "friend", in which case he's certainly not a friend of mine anymore. I'm sad to see she has no job now, because the baby will be the one to suffer, but it makes going to work a little easier.

Don't pick up the phone, don't answer an email. Don't talk to this women. I dated a Drama Queen on 2 different occasions for about 5 years. We went out for 2 years, broke up, and I stupidly got back with her 9 months later (editor's note...no significance in the 9 month time slot!!!) Well, the 2nd go around was all about her being lonely and seeing me be successful. It lasted a year, but we weren't physical the last 5-6 months. Not long afterward I started dating what would eventually be my wife. The ex calls about 2 months into the relationship and wants to "be friends" Needless to say I said that wasn't going to work and that was that...

then, 7 years later, it's last month and she finds me on facebook and condescendingly notes "you look like you are doing well for youself" and comments on my wife and kids. I never responded.

What does this prove? That these people never change. Stay away, and you'll be much happier for it. I promise.