Contender for Injury of the Year (Personal Addition)

Ksyrup · 07-20-2009, 04:59 PM

So the weather here in KY has been insanely gorgeous and cool for this time of year. This past weekend it didn't even get to 70 on Saturday as a high! For the next 10 days, the highest temperature it shows on Weather Channel is 82.

Anyway, Saturday night it was in the mid-50s, so we left the windows in our bedroom open. We have two 50-60 lb. dogs who sleep at the foot of the bed on the floor, and one of them barks at anything that moves. We also have a cat who usually doesn't sleep in the room, but occasionally will sleep between my wife and me down by our feet.

All of that sets the scene for this - about 3:40am on Sunday morning, one of our dogs starts to bark at the foot of the bed. We assume it was because of something she heard outside. I instantly wake up. At the same moment, apparently our cat was sound asleep on the bed and got spooked by the dog and takes off like a flash. He can't jump off the bed at the foot, because the dog is there and barking, so he takes the alternate route, toward the top of the bed where I am sleeping. He basically uses my arm, neck, and head as a springboard to GTFO of dodge, only the way a cat can. You know how when you spook a cat they run like their ass is on fire? That's what he did to my face.

Mind you, all of this took place in about 1.8 seconds. Dog starts barking, cat flips out, I immediately wake up startled and feel something stabbing me in the neck/face, etc. For the next 2-3 seconds, I'm flailing my arms and wailing like a 2 year old girl. Dog bark + sensation of being hit/stabbed in the face = major panic attack, right?! After a couple more seconds, my wife is up and I'm like,"WTF just happened? What's the dog barking at? Shit, my head is kiilling me - I think the cat just ran over my face!"

So I start to feel around my beard, and it's wet, so I know I'm bleeding. I go into the bathroom, and here's the damage - I've got a good 2 inch scratch on my left arm just above the elbow. From there he apparently went to my chest/neck, as I've got a small divot just below the collarbone and a 1-inch scratch on my neck. He then proceeded to my chin/check, where he gashed me pretty good in two spots (that was the worst bleeding, under the beard). I think my chin was the major "shoving off"point of his journey. Finally, before rocketing himself off the bed (and my face), he scratched across the top of my left ear and also got me on my left eyebrow and a small scratch on the right side of my forehead.

It doesn't look nearly as bad as I described, but when I woke up the next morning the kids were laughing at me as I had 4 or 5 Hello Kitty band-aids all over my face/neck. Perfect way to start the day. I showed up to work this morning, and everyone's asking me who I got into a fight with, and then 10 minutes later they're rolling on the ground in laughter after I explain what happened.

OK...top that!

Noop · 07-20-2009, 05:07 PM

Well... I would get rid of the cat. *Take from that what you want*

rjolley · 07-20-2009, 05:08 PM

I can't top it, but I must thank you for the good laugh.

johnnyshaka · 07-20-2009, 05:09 PM

Further to what Noop said, the cat will be put down in the next day or two, right? Or else rendered useless by de-clawing the blasted thing.

Ksyrup · 07-20-2009, 05:15 PM

He is (and has been since birth) de-clawed on his front paws only. The damage done was by his hind paws.

I'm not putting him down - what did he do? He reacted the same way I did, except he was closer to the dog and freaked out like a cat usually does. Although I admit, it would have been funny if I had seen him coming and gave him a forearm shiver as he raced toward me, hurtling him backwards toward the wall.

johnnyshaka · 07-20-2009, 05:31 PM

Forgive me...I'm just not a cat person...hence, the "put him down" comment. Seems logical to me, at least.

Pumpy Tudors · 07-20-2009, 05:35 PM

PUT HIM DOWN BECAUSE YOU'RE THE BOSS. NOBODY TOUCHES YOU INDECENTLY AND GETS AWAY WITH IT UNLESS THEY PAID THE COVER CHARGE FIRST.

Wait, what?

StLee · 07-20-2009, 05:42 PM

Your way of describing the incident definitely had me laughing hard. Sorry about the face, but it's a good one for a party story later on.

Pumpy Tudors · 07-20-2009, 05:47 PM

SORRY ABOUT YOUR FACE HA HA HA

JeeberD · 07-20-2009, 06:08 PM

It's all the dog's fault, really. That's the one that deserves to be put down...

Ksyrup · 07-20-2009, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JeeberD

It's all the dog's fault, really. That's the one that deserves to be put down...

As a cat person, I tend to agree with this (not that I'd put any animal down in this situation, of course). This dog barks at ANYTHING. She'll be staring out the back window and see some guy 2 blocks away jogging, headed in the opposite direction, and still go off like he's outside the window trying to break in. Drives me nuts.

JonInMiddleGA · 07-20-2009, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JeeberD

It's all the dog's fault, really. That's the one that deserves to be put down...

As is usually the case.

terpkristin · 07-20-2009, 06:49 PM

Man, I was expecting a tale of...well, something more than that.

I haven't hurt myself yet this year (ongoing issues from previous injuries don't count), but give it time...

/tk

JonInMiddleGA · 07-20-2009, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by terpkristin

I haven't hurt myself yet this year (ongoing issues from previous injuries don't count), but give it time...

You're what I believe is referred to as "a perennial contender", if not the outright favorite.

Travis · 07-20-2009, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by terpkristin

Man, I was expecting a tale of...well, something more than that.

I haven't hurt myself yet this year (ongoing issues from previous injuries don't count), but give it time...

/tk

I'm a week away from it being a year since my big nasty and like you, was expecting a whole lot more gruesome and a lot less funny in here. Very happy to have been wrong and had a really good chuckle at the story.

CamEdwards · 07-20-2009, 08:02 PM

I love the fact that they were Hello Kitty band-aids.

JPhillips · 07-20-2009, 08:08 PM

This thread is useless without pictures.

ColtCrazy · 07-20-2009, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rjolley

I can't top it, but I must thank you for the good laugh.

+1 I think my wife snorted when I shared this story. We have cats, no dogs, yet ours still get spooked and run across our legs with their mini razors.

mh2365 · 07-20-2009, 10:28 PM

My cats no longer sleep in the same room as us because of just this happening ... plus the male cat threw up on top of me in my sleep ... I rolled over and pulled my hand out of the covers and put it directly in hair ball goo ....

and yes it has been great the last few days here in KY

07-20-2009, 05:07 PM	#2
Noop Bonafide Seminole Fan Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Miami	Well... I would get rid of the cat. Take from that what you want __________________ Subby's favorite woman hater.

07-20-2009, 05:15 PM	#5
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	He is (and has been since birth) de-clawed on his front paws only. The damage done was by his hind paws. I'm not putting him down - what did he do? He reacted the same way I did, except he was closer to the dog and freaked out like a cat usually does. Although I admit, it would have been funny if I had seen him coming and gave him a forearm shiver as he raced toward me, hurtling him backwards toward the wall. __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete." Last edited by Ksyrup : 07-20-2009 at 05:16 PM.

07-20-2009, 05:35 PM	#7
Pumpy Tudors Bounty Hunter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Pittsburgh, PA	PUT HIM DOWN BECAUSE YOU'RE THE BOSS. NOBODY TOUCHES YOU INDECENTLY AND GETS AWAY WITH IT UNLESS THEY PAID THE COVER CHARGE FIRST. Wait, what? __________________ No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor.

07-20-2009, 05:42 PM	#8
StLee High School Varsity Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Daegu, Korea	Your way of describing the incident definitely had me laughing hard. Sorry about the face, but it's a good one for a party story later on. __________________ Lifelong fan of LSU sports and Saints football! ------------ Author of NCAA 128: Battle to ONE: http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/...ad.php?t=85730 Softball in Korea 1 and 2: http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/...softball+korea + http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/...ad.php?t=83736

07-20-2009, 05:47 PM	#9
Pumpy Tudors Bounty Hunter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Pittsburgh, PA	SORRY ABOUT YOUR FACE HA HA HA __________________ No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor.

07-20-2009, 05:08 PM	#3
rjolley College Starter Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Roseville, CA	I can't top it, but I must thank you for the good laugh.

07-20-2009, 05:09 PM	#4
johnnyshaka College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Edmonton, AB	Further to what Noop said, the cat will be put down in the next day or two, right? Or else rendered useless by de-clawing the blasted thing.

07-20-2009, 05:31 PM	#6
johnnyshaka College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Edmonton, AB	Forgive me...I'm just not a cat person...hence, the "put him down" comment. Seems logical to me, at least.

07-20-2009, 06:08 PM	#10
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	It's all the dog's fault, really. That's the one that deserves to be put down... __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

07-20-2009, 06:49 PM	#13
terpkristin Grizzled Veteran Join Date: May 2003 Location: Ashburn, VA	Man, I was expecting a tale of...well, something more than that. I haven't hurt myself yet this year (ongoing issues from previous injuries don't count), but give it time... /tk __________________ GO TERPS! https://www.flickr.com/photos/terpkristin https://twitter.com/terpkristin

07-20-2009, 08:02 PM	#16
CamEdwards Stadium Announcer Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Burke, VA	I love the fact that they were Hello Kitty band-aids. __________________ I don't want the world. I just want your half.

07-20-2009, 08:08 PM	#17
JPhillips Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Newburgh, NY	This thread is useless without pictures. __________________ To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.. - Mr. Rogers

07-20-2009, 10:28 PM	#19
mh2365 H.S. Freshman Team Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: louisville	My cats no longer sleep in the same room as us because of just this happening ... plus the male cat threw up on top of me in my sleep ... I rolled over and pulled my hand out of the covers and put it directly in hair ball goo .... and yes it has been great the last few days here in KY __________________ "I'm the root of all that's evil, yeah but you can call me cookie"

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